“What? No. Give me the scans. I’m a neurosurgeon. I want to see what you did to him. What did you do to him!” Caden’s voice bellows, bouncing off the pillars in the lobby.
“My baby boy. Brandon! Brandon. Mom’s here. I’m here!” she screams, fighting to get out of my father’s hold. “Let me go. Let me go! I want my son. Give me my son.” She pounds her chest like a mad woman.
“Kim. Kim. He’s gone.” My dad holds onto her, taking her kicks and punches until she runs out of steam and sags against my father’s chest.
The world moves in slow motion. Time seems to stop. My head spins. My stomach cramps. None of it feels real, but maybe it isn’t. Caden is a doctor. He can see if the other doctor missed anything and then fix Brandon. There is still hope. I tug on Caden’s scrub top to gain his attention.
When he glances down at me, his eyes are bloodshot and watery, but no tears. He holds them back. “You can fix him, right? Please, tell me you can fix him.”
He parts his lips to tell me, but a nurse interrupts us to give the doctor the scans of Brandon’s brain. Caden narrows his eyes and snatches the scans out of the man’s hands. I thought the doctor would say something, but he doesn’t. He really thinks my brother is gone.
Caden takes the films out of the envelope and holds them up to the light. He glances at me as my mother cries against my father’s chest and Kenna holds Amelia’s father while he weeps. While he studies the scans, I watch his face, never taking my eyes off him. I want to see every twitch in his cheeks while he studies those films. He switches to another scan, and another, and another, until he is staring at the first one again. The moment of hope breaks when a lone tear trickles down his face.
That’s when I knew.
My brother is dead.
“No! No. You were supposed to save him.” I push Caden, and he hardly moves. I ball my fists and hit his chest, taking all my anger out on him. “You were supposed to save him.” I lose steam and fall against his chest, wailing from my heart being torn out. This isn’t fair. This can’t be my life.
He wraps his arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Molly. I wish I could. I wish I could so fucking bad.” He kisses my head, and one of his tears drips down my cheek.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Losses,” Caden corrects him. “We’ve lost two people tonight.”
“Of course, I apologize.”
My father’s voice breaks the chaos of sadness. “When can we see him?”
“You can right now. I’ll take you to him.”
“My daughter. I need to see her,” Amelia’s father croaks from the floor, still on his knees and holding onto Kenna.
“Of course.”
“Posie,” I mumble against Caden’s warm chest. “When can we get Posie?”
“I can have a nurse bring her down, but I would prefer she stay overnight to make sure nothing is wrong or underlying.”
“Of course.” I rub my cheek against Caden’s scrubs. It smells of pine and sweat, and for some reason, his scent calms me. I inhale deep, letting the strong, masculine scent wrap around me and settle a small piece of the havoc that threatens my heart.
I’ve had a pretty easy life. I’ve never had anything bad happen to me. My parents never struggled. My brother and I never went without. We always had each other. And the only thing that kept running through my mind, was the time I told my brother I hated him when I was sixteen because he wouldn’t take me to the drive-in theater with him and his girlfriend at the time. I never hated him.
I wish I could take it all back. All the horrible things I’ve said. All the pranks. All the yelling. All the times I pressed ignore on the screen when he called because I was pissed at him for some stupid reason. I want it all back. I’ll trade it all for this very moment to not happen.
“If you’ll follow me, sir, Nurse Grace will take you to your daughter.” The doctor spreads his arm out to lead the way.
Amelia’s father stands, wiping his eyes. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay and pay my respects to Brandon. He was a good man to my little girl. I’m so sorry, Kim.”
“Oh, Jeff. I’m sorry, too.” My mom holds his hand, and my dad keeps a hold on hers as we follow the doctor down the long, wide hallway.
Everyone in the hospital goes about their day like the worst news of my life didn’t just happen. Nurses smile and laugh. Other patients lay in bed, alive. The lights are so bright, it makes me wonder if they do that intentionally, so when people die, they think they are going to heaven.
After walking for what seems like miles, the doctor stops outside a room, causing a domino effect. We all stop in our tracks, knowing whatever lays beyond that door will change all of our lives forever.
This time, it is me who cannot breathe.
Chapter Five
Caden
“I think we should take a minute,” I say as I step back, placing my back against the opposite wall.
“Why? I want to go in there now,” Molly snaps at me with pure hatred in her eyes. I know her anger isn’t toward me, but to have it aimed at me? I hate it. I never thought I’d miss our bickering, but I’d give anything for that right now, instead of seeing my best friend hooked up to machines.
Everyone stares at me, including the doctor. He understands. Of course, he does. They have no idea what they are about to walk into. I see it every day, but I’ve never had anyone I knew on the other side.
“Because what you’re about to see will be shocking. You’ll see him breathing, but it is because of a machine he is hooked up to. He has wires, tubes, needles, and drugs keeping his body stable. He will look like him. Physically, he is the person we love as Brandon, but mentally? That person is gone and everyone here, me included, needs to prepare themselves.”
Emotion wracks my voice at the thought of seeing him like that. “I’m going to tell you right now. I’m not ready. I can’t go in there yet.” The lights burn my eyes, drying up the tears.
“What do you mean that’s not Brandon? My son is there! How dare you say that, Caden.” Kim smacks my arm with some heat, leaving a sting behind. She meant to hurt me.
There is no point in explaining myself. The emotions are too high for anyone to understand what I mean. “You’re right, Kim. I’m sorry.”
Kim grabs the door handle with her red nails. The knob doesn’t turn. We wait and wait, but she hangs her head, sending her blonde hair over her shoulders. “I can’t do it. I can’t see him like that. Oh, god. You’re right, Caden. My baby needs me, and I can’t go in.” She bawls, hiding her mascara-stained face in her hands.
Everyone is still, afraid to breathe or make any movement. I know I don’t want to because the reality will set in that much quicker. If I wait to go through those doors, then my life won’t change all that much because I’ll have memories of Brandon and Amelia being alive and the uncertainty of their death still in question.
“Forget this. I want to see my brother,” Molly shoves her way past the doctor and pushes the door open, sucking in the last shreds of oblivion before the reality that hides behind the door crashes in front of us.
I watch, one by one, as each person that loves Brandon falls apart. His mother wails in hysteria, screaming at the top of her lungs. Todd holds onto his wife as she cries the most painful cry I’ve ever heard. It is like hearing a soul rip in half. That is what it sounds like, anyway.
Molly runs to the side of the bed, and from where I stand in the doorway, tears fall like rain on the bed sheets, causing wet dots to spread around Brandon’s limp hand. She pushes his dirty blonde hair back and away from his closed eyes. “Brandon,” her voice is permeated with pain. “Brandon, can you hear me?”
No, he can't.
“You can, right? Your beautiful brain works, doesn’t it? You can hear me,” Molly whispers.
I walk around to the other side of the bed, staring at the body that used to be my best friend. He has a tube down his throat, and his chest rises and falls with every puff of the machine
that breathes for him.
The doctor clears his throat, knocking on the door. “There is never a good time to ask—”
I hold up my hand to stop him from going any further. “I know what you’re about to ask, and you’ve picked a hell of a time. Get out.”
“But—”
“I said get out!” My throat bleeds from the force I put in my voice, but it gains the attention of everyone in the room.
“We don’t have—”
“Much time? Don’t you think I know that since I’m a doctor? Get the fuck out!” I shout again. The guy can’t take a damn hint.
He doesn’t say anything as the door clicks shut, vanishing from our sight.
Molly tucks a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear, her cheeks red from those salty tears that keep spilling over the curves of her face. “What does he mean? What did that mean, Caden?”
I stare at Brandon one more time before lifting my gaze to Molly’s. Her brown eyes glow like the sun, bright from shedding tears. I shouldn’t notice how beautiful they are in this moment, but to ignore it? Ah, that would be impossible.
“Caden,” she presses again, those beautiful sunflower orbs filling with fresh tears as she holds onto Brandon’s hand.
I pat the top of Brandon’s hand gently, since it has an IV in it, and I sigh. I run my hands through my hair, buying time to figure out what I want to say. “He wants to talk to us about organ donation.”
“What?” Todd asks on a raspy exhale.
“His organs? But we don’t know for sure that he will never come back. He’s breathing.” Molly touches the side of Brandon’s cheek with her fingers. “He’s still warm.” She places a hand over the middle of his chest. “His heart beats. It’s beating, Caden.”
“Molly,” I whisper as she presses a kiss to Brandon’s forehead, not wanting to believe the truth of my words.
“No,” Molly and Kim say in unison.
I walk around the bed, careful not to bump into it, and stand beside Molly. I reach for her hand, placing mine on top of hers. Her velvet skin rubs against mine, calling to a part of me that has never been awake before. She makes me want more. I don’t know how or why. The situation is emotional, so maybe I can’t decipher my feelings.
“Molly. Kim. He is not here. His brain has no activity.”
Molly narrows her gaze at me. “But he is so warm. Feel him. He is as warm as me and you. Feel him.” I let her take my hand and put my palm against his chest. She smiles, showing that regardless of the situation, she will find hope in everything—in anything.
I want to be hopeful. My best friend is laying there with tubes and wires, looking alive when he is anything but that. And I know better. Once the brain is dead, the patient will never come back. “It’s just the machines keeping his organs alive.”
“For them to take?” Molly hisses, brushing Brandon’s hair again.
“For them to save other people. Brandon would want that, you know. He was a doctor. You know how important organ donation was to him. He could save so many lives.”
“But what about our lives?” Molly whimpers, clutching Brandon’s hand. “Our lives without him? That’s not a life I want to live.”
“We can’t keep him here for us. We need to think of him. He wouldn’t want to live like this. We only have a few hours to decide.”
“No.” She throws her body over his, holding onto him like he is going to float away.
I clutch her shoulders. “Molly, he is gone.”
“No. Let go of me. Let go! Brandon−” She struggles in my grasp, while I try to break her free, but the hold she has on him is tight.
“—He wouldn’t want this.” I pull her to my chest, and a tear falls down my cheek. Everyone in the room watches and cries as she reaches for him. Even Kim is giving him space, but not Molly.
“Brandon. I’m here. Okay? Just come back. Come back.” She starts to lose steam from her kicking, punching, and screaming. “I’m here. Come back to me. I can’t do this without you. Please, don’t go.”
I’m not a man of many emotions, but the woman I adore falling apart in my arms is making so many present themselves. Another tear follows and then another. Molly stretches her arm out for him, holds him, kisses his cheek, and lets go of her pain loudly as she lays her head on his chest, clutching the shoulders of his gown in her fists.
“Molly.”
“No.”
“Molly.”
“No!” she screams so loud, I think that maybe, just maybe, if Brandon can hear anything, he will have heard that.
“Come here. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” I want to believe the words as I pull her away from Brandon, her flesh and blood, but I don’t. I know I wouldn’t. This family is close. It will only take something as final as death to rip them apart.
“Caden...” Kim’s hand lands on my arm. She looks at her daughter before lifting her eyes to me. “What does that mean? What happens to him if we donate his organs?”
Molly whips around, staring at her mom with anger in her eyes. “What do you mean if we donate? We can’t donate. Mom, look at him.”
“Have you been listening at all to Caden or the doctor that spoke to us earlier? I’m devastated, but I’ve been listening.”
“What do they know!” she shouts.
Kim lifts her finger at Molly. “Medicine. What do you know?”
“Hope. I know hope, Mom.” Her lip quivers as she hits her chest, but I know that is just the emotion talking. She knows better with so many doctors in the family.
“Honey, there is no hope here. This situation is hopeless.”
Molly looks like she just got slapped across the face. “How could you say that?”
Kim’s face grows red as fresh tears build, welling her eyes. She smacks her lips together, preparing for battle. “Because look at him!” The undertone of her voice leaves no room for argument. It is deep, laced with a growl—threatening, leaving no room for arguments. “This isn’t Brandon. He wouldn’t want this.”
Amelia’s father slithers out the door, probably to go see his daughter. He shouldn’t be alone, but I can’t leave. Kenna watches him go and glances at me, obviously having the same idea. I give her a sad smile as she slips out the door.
“What are you saying, Mom?” she asks, sounding accusatory.
“I’m saying it isn’t up to you to decide what is best for him. That person was his wife and she is gone. Now, that responsibility lands on me and your father.”
Again, a familiar stricken look on Molly’s face makes me take a step toward her for some reason. Like I want to comfort her. That’s new, so I step back. It isn’t my place to get involved between them.
“You can’t be serious. This is a decision we should be making as a family.”
“Molly, look at you. You would never let him go.”
“And you can? Mom, he is your son.”
“And my son wouldn’t want to live like this!” Kim slides her watery eyes to me. “You know this is the right decision, Caden. Please, go get the doctor for me.”
“Mom, you can’t.” Molly’s voice cracks from pleading.
“Caden, please. I’d like a moment alone with my son before giving his organ’s away.”
“Mom. Listen to yourself. Miracles happen all the time. He could be that. He could be that miracle. You aren’t giving him a chance.”
“There is no chance here, Molly. His brain is dead. All chances are gone,” I say, squeezing her hand before letting go and walking out the door to fetch the doctor.
I never knew I’d be on the other end, asking for help and guidance, but what a difference it makes. I ruin people’s lives so often. And what is the pit in my stomach? Sadness, dread, or guilt? Probably all three at once.
I stride down the hallway, seeing the doctor at the nurses' station. I pass other rooms full of people breathing and living another day.
The realization makes me stop in my tracks as I stare at the doctor. He notices me and starts comi
ng my way, and every ounce of breath leaves my lungs when a feeling cripples me.
Loss.
And I’m drowning in it.
Chapter Six
Molly
“Oh, come on.” The back of my dress won’t zip. It keeps getting stuck right in the middle. It is frustrating. “Please.” Tears prickle my eyes from being so aggravated over the fact that my black dress for my brother’s and Amelia’s funeral won’t zip.
The past few days have been the worst of my life. My mom and I got into a huge blow-out argument, and because we are both so stubborn, we aren’t speaking. I thought funerals are supposed to bring families together, but that is not the case here.
“Just fucking zip!” I try one more time to zip the damn thing, but it doesn’t move. I kick my heels off and one slams against the full-length mirror, shattering the bottom half onto the floor. I give up and sit on the edge of the bed. My hands grip the mattress as I yell. I yell so loud, as I squeeze the mattress for support until I have no more air left in my lungs.
I groan when more tears leave my eyes. I’m so tired of crying. It seems never-ending. I want to shut the damn faucet off, but it keeps getting worse.
“Need some help?” Kenna knocks on the door. She looks good in her black tulle dress. It is totally punk rock, and it shows off the tattoo sleeves she has on each arm. Brandon would have loved it, but he would have picked on her for looking more badass than he did.
I envy her for how bold she is. I glance down at my boring plain-Jane outfit. It is a simple black dress with a square neck, ending right above the knee. Hers has different shades of black and grey tulle, and the bodice resembles a tight T-shirt.
Badass.
“Hey, I know that look. Don’t do that. You look amazing. You always look amazing, Molls.” Her black high heels click against the hardwood floors as she sits next to me. “Turn.” She motions with her finger.
I move my hair out of the way and lay it over my shoulder. I don’t say anything as she zips me up and puts her hands on my shoulders. “I know today is hard, but I’m here, and as much as you hate it, Caden is here. He is helping. I know you don’t like him, but at least he is fun to look at.”
Unexpected Gift Page 4
