My grip on the steering wheel tightens the closer the destination gets. I’m not ready for this. I can keep driving, keep going, and never look back. “Ah, what am I talking about?” I scratch my chin as I drive past the building I’m supposed to be at. I will never forgive myself if I stand the lawyer up. I’ll never know what Brandon’s final wishes are. I’ll always wonder, and I can’t do that to him. So, I need to buck up. Brandon died, and this is the process. I need to respect that.
Sunlight blinds me for a second before I make my U-turn, causing spots to cloud my vision. My tires squeal against the pavement, burning rubber as the car makes a sharp turn. Another vehicle honks when I fishtail, almost swerving into their lane. Whoops.
My heart races, pounding against my chest from the adrenaline. The palms of my hands perspire against the leather of the steering wheel. The vehicle next to me gives me the bird as they speed past while I slowly turn into the parking lot of the attorney’s office.
I’m ten minutes late. Not too horrible. I’m not in a hurry to get out of the car. I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat. I need a minute to gather myself. I need to look more composed than I feel. A buzzing catches my attention, and I snap my eyes open and check my phone. I have three missed calls and two texts from Molly, and my heart stops. The last time I had so many messages from her, Brandon died.
Did someone else?
Chapter Eight
Molly
He is late.
I didn’t know he was supposed to be here until I sat down, holding a crying Posie. I pat her back as she wails. The lawyer stares at me, not saying a word. When I ask why we aren’t getting on with the meeting, he says, “We are waiting on a Caden Jackson. According to Brandon and Amelia’s will, they wanted both of you to be in the room.”
Brandon has to be laughing right now. He knows how Caden and I act around each other. We tolerate one another, at best. Half the time we are at each other’s throats, and the only reason we aren’t right now is due to the funeral and emotions running rampant in the air.
And we are about to be at each other’s throats again if he doesn’t get here within the next two minutes. The meeting started fifteen minutes ago. “Can’t we just start without him? I mean, can’t you catch him up when he gets here? I have an upset baby here.” I keep patting Posie’s back, trying to soothe her. She has been very fussy over the last few days. Understandably. She wants her mom and dad. And she hasn’t seen them. It makes my heart ache because that is something I will never be able to fix.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I have to follow my client’s wishes. Mr. Jackson said he would be here. I believe him, and so did Mr. Lowell. Have a little faith.”
Faith? Have you met the man?
“Right. Well, I’m going to take her to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” And I’ll text Caden for the hundredth time to see where he is. I snag the diaper bag off the floor and make sure Posie is secure on my hip. My arms are wrapped around her tightly before I get up. It’s a swanky office, so they better have a changing table in the woman’s room. I can’t stand it when businesses don’t have bathrooms that cater to parents.
“Sure, no problem. I’ll be here. Would you like coffee or tea while we wait?” he asks, rifling through a few papers.
“That’s sweet of you, thank you. I’d love some tea.” I need to be nicer to the man. He is only doing his job and doing right by what Brandon and Amelia wanted. I’ve just been so wound up from everything and coming back down from that will be hard. It'll take time, but eventually I’ll get there.
He smiles, stacking the papers neatly before getting up and walking down the hall. I follow behind and hang a right to the restrooms. I kick the door open and go to the largest stall. “Oh, good.” My shoulders sag with relief when I see the very large changing station. I put the bag on the counter and grab one of the changing towels and drape it over the station. I don’t like the idea of her bare little bum on the germ-covered counter. After I have a diaper, wipes, and diaper cream, I lay her down.
“There we go, pretty girl.” I smile at her, but I don’t get one back. She's sad. Rightfully so. Her little cheeks are red from crying, and her lashes are wet. Her bottom lip puckers, getting ready to let out another wail. “I know, baby. I miss them, too.” I choke up a bit when her big, brown eyes stare at me. A few more tears start to fall down her face, and she finally lets out that wail she has been holding in.
“I know it hurts. I know. I love you so much. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you always remember your mommy and daddy.” I unbutton her onesie and take off her diaper. Clean her up, put on the cream, and replace the diaper with a new one. She settles a bit after that, but she still sniffles. “All clean. Is that better, Posie? How’s my favorite niece?” I ask in a high-pitched baby voice. She is my only niece, but that doesn’t matter.
I pick her up and kiss her cheek. Caden isn’t here yet, so I take a few extra minutes to pace and bounce Posie up and down. She rubs her eyes with her tiny fists and yawns. Poor thing cried herself to exhaustion. “I can completely relate, sweetheart,” I croon into her ear, bouncing her on my hip. Her whimpers turn into light snores after a few minutes.
Carefully and slowly, I bend down and pick up the bag, holding my hand against her back so she doesn’t fall. I unlock the door, cringing when it creaks, and Posie whimpers. I pause, hoping she doesn’t wake up. When she settles back down, I breathe a little easier and make my way out the door, almost running right into Caden.
“Woah.” I stop just in time before colliding with his arm.
He steps back and reaches his arms out to make sure Posie or I don’t fall. It is sweet. “You’re late,” I say low with worry, rubbing her back to make sure she doesn’t wake up.
His hands glide through his hair, and that is when I notice how ‘well’ he is doing. He has a week's worth of stubble on his face, his hair is out of place more than the usual product placement, and his eyes seem so sad and tired. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t have a good reason.”
I place my free hand on his forearm, ignoring the ropes of muscle flexing. “Yes, you do.”
He locks eyes with me for a minute, staring at me like he isn’t sure if I am being serious or not. After a long gaze, the green flakes in his eyes sparkle before we break the stare. “Thanks.”
“I understand.”
He chuffs. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how you feel.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t lessen your pain because of mine. You were just as much his brother as he was mine.” I shove the bag up my shoulder when it starts to slide. I don’t know how moms do this all the time. Everything weighs so much after five minutes. Mom muscles are completely different than regular muscles. I’ll go to my grave believing that.
“It’s been hard. I don’t know about you, but I’m so mad at him.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, staring at the ceiling as he rocks on his feet.
Tears threaten my eyes from his admission. “Yeah, I am, too. There’s not much time to express it. I’m so busy packing up the house.”
“The house? Their house? Why?” He doesn’t sound mad, just curious. He takes the bag from my shoulder, and I groan with relief.
“Thank you so much. Those things get so heavy. And we can talk about that after the meeting if you want. Maybe get some lunch?”
He smiles, brushing the blonde hair on Posie’s head and kissing her on the cheek. “That would be great. Hey, you’ll still let me see her, right? I know I’m not family, but I want to be there for her.”
I scrunch my brows with confusion. Does he really think I won’t let him see her? Gosh, am I that horrible to him? “Oh my gosh, of course you can. She loves you. I would never keep you from Posie, Caden. We can talk about that at lunch, too. Okay?”
His face relaxes, and the big man seems a little lighter. “Thank you.”
I place my hand in the middle of his back, ignoring how hard the muscles feel beneath my palm. “Come on, let’s
go.”
“Can I take her?” he asks; looking at Posie.
I nod and hold her out for him to grab. “Sure, my arms are killing me,” I say with my voice low and soft, so I don’t wake her. “Careful not to wake her. She hasn’t been sleeping well, eating well, or anything. The fact that she is asleep right now is a huge win. Poor thing. She wants her mommy and daddy.”
He kisses her forehead again and rubs his finger over her plump cheek, just staring at her. “I understand, Posie. I wish they were here, too. You have us, okay?”
I can’t take my eyes off how he stares at her, like she is the center of his world.
“She looks so much like him.”
A tear escapes out of the corner of my eye, and I brush it away before Caden can see it. “Yeah, she does, doesn’t she?”
Our footsteps echo on the marble floor as we make our way to the conference room. The lawyer sits at the head of the long, oak table, reading over papers. There are two mugs where I’ve been sitting, steam billowing from the top. He must have heard Caden arrive.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Newton. We had a few things to discuss.” I wrap my hand around the mug and sigh when the warmth sinks into my palm, heating my blood. I bring the simple, cream-colored mug, that reminds me of a diner cup, to my lips and relax a little.
“It’s no problem at all. I understand. Times like this are tough. I usually book the entire for one client because I’m not sure how it will go. You know, the emotions and questions, which I understand completely. I don’t expect this to be easy for anyone. And I hate to bring up something you are trying to move on from. But Mr. Lowell was clear with his wishes. He wanted to wait a week after his death for us to speak. It says here–“ Mr. Newton unfolds his glasses and places them on his nose—“Ah, yes. It says here, he wanted to wait until his parents left, and knowing his mother, she couldn’t stand to be in this town longer than necessary.”
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and give a small grin. “He always knew Mom the best. He can…” I clear my throat from the slip. “I mean, he could read her like a book. Sorry, that will take getting used to. Never thought I'd have to talk about him in past tense.”
“I understand, Ms. Lowell. Now, there are a few things I need to discuss, and he wanted me to discuss them in front of both of you. Are you aware that Brandon and Amelia named you two the godparents of Posie Lowell?”
“What?” Caden and I say in unison, shocked. We steal glances at each other to see if either of us knew about this, but by the look on his face, I’ll say he is just as lost as I am.
I place the mug on the coaster that is in front of me, a little to the right. “You have to be mistaken. Our parents…I thought they would have custody of Posie?”
Mr. Newton read over the piece of paper in his hand and starts to chuckle. “He said you would say that. Right here.” He slides the paper across the table to me.
I don’t reach for it at first. I don’t know what it would say. Do I want to know? I take a deep breath and gather some courage. My hand is jittery as I place it on the table and walk my fingers to it until I pull the paper toward me. I scan it, looking for where it says Caden and I are the godparents.
She will argue with you and say that can’t be right. She will bring up my parents, but our parents are older. They have done their time raising kids, and they deserve to be grandparents. If anything were to happen to us. I want my sister, Molly Lowell, and my best friend, Caden Jackson, to be godparents to my Posie. They will be good to her but wait until you see their faces when you tell them the other news. It will be enjoyable. They can’t stand each other, you know. And tell them I’m sorry if they are sitting here with you, Mr. Newton. I never planned to die. Once Posie was born, I wanted her to be taken care of, and that is why this will exists. I love them so much, and if I’m not here, I miss them. Tell them to kiss my little girl on the cheek for me. Daddy loves her so much.
I run my hand over his perfect handwriting. It’s small, but all the letters are uppercase. I used to give him so much flak for it. “Brandon.” A tear escapes from my cheek, falling on the paper, smearing the ink. I give it back to the lawyer and wipe my face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get it wet.”
Mr. Newton gives me a sad smile, and his old, blue eyes glow with kindness. “It’s okay. It’s why I made copies. I can give you one if you like. The both of you.”
“Yes, please.”
“Thank you,” we say at the same time again.
“He had stipulations for the both of you being her Godparents. He said I’d have fun with this.” He tries to lighten the situation with the joke.
Caden moves Posie to his other arm and rocks her. “Oh, boy. Let’s hear it. What’s he want? For us to live no less than ten minutes apart and split the weeks?” he snorts.
“Hmmm, no. Not really.” A shit-eating grin takes over Mr. Newton’s face.
I can tell he realizes that he will be having fun with this. I just want to know what this entails.
Chapter Nine
Caden
The look on the lawyer’s face makes me worry. What did Brandon do?
Posie stretches and whimpers when I stop rocking her, so I go back to moving ever so slightly just to make sure she doesn’t wake up.
“I’ll get back to that. First, he wants to talk about the house.”
“What about it?” Molly sips her tea. Her eyes fill with more tears, but she doesn’t let them fall. She concentrates on her tea, sipping the hot brew slowly and cautiously.
“The house is paid off. He doesn’t want it sold. He wants to keep it for Posie, and if she decides she doesn’t want it, then she can decide what to do with it when she turns twenty-one. He wants everything in the house kept the same, too.” The lawyer flips a page and coughs to clear his throat. “I’m quoting exactly what he said, Ms. Lowell.”
She yanks her gaze from the middle of the table that she practically burned a hole into at this point. “Tell Molly to stop packing. I want everything to remain as it is. Posie will want them. She will want to know what her parents were like, and I want to be able to give her that one day since I’m not here anymore. Don’t sell the house. Don’t do anything. Just clean it up every now and then and open the windows to let the musk out.”
Molly giggles and covers her mouth with her hand. “Sorry, he knows me so well. It’s insane. Well, I didn’t get too far with it. I only folded the laundry and started putting all of their clothes in boxes. I kept getting sidetracked by all the photo albums.”
“So, you are okay with keeping the property and everything else as is?” Mr. Newton asks. “The both of you?”
I still don’t understand why I need to make the decision with her. She shares flesh and blood with Brandon. I only have memories, so legally, she has a leg up on me. “I’m fine with it,” I say, wondering if I overstepped in sharing my opinion.
“Me, too.”
“Great. Sign here.” He hands us the paper along with a fancy fountain pen. I love those. I always keep one in my white coat at work.
She scribbles her name first and then slides the paper over to me. “You have a nice signature.” I mean it, too. Her name has big loops and curves. It's so different from mine. I sign my name and hand the paper back over to her.
Molly tries to hide her smirk. “Wow. How do your patients read your handwriting?”
I know it's bad. The letters are small, and they look more like a tangled nest than legible letters. “It’s not that bad. I’ve seen worse.”
“I haven’t.” She winks as she hands the paper back to the lawyer.
“Alright.” He shuffles through some more folders. “Right. Okay. So, this states that any monies leftover will all go to a trust fund for Posie. When she turns twenty-one, she will have access to it. Right now, there is a little over one million dollars in it.”
Molly spits her tea out, spraying it all over the expensive wood. She sits stunned with tea dripping from her chin, and I have to hold mys
elf back from swiping the drop off with my fingers. She looks too cute for words right now. I don’t blame her for being surprised. I knew Brandon did well being a cardiothoracic surgeon, but damn, good for him. “I’m so sorry. Uh, sorry. I’m lost for words. Wow. A million?” she seems flustered as she soaks up the tea off the table with a napkin.
“That happens more than you think. No worries. I keep cleaner in here now.” Mr. Newton says
“Handy.” She sits, smoothing her dress over her backside, to make sure it isn’t bunched.
The old man hides a smirk by clicking his tongue. “It is, isn’t it? Anyway, he is giving you five hundred thousand dollars, Ms. Lowell to help start a new life for Posie. He knew you had a job, but he wanted to be able to help. He also said don’t argue with him.” He raises his bushy brows at her.
“Of course not.” Her voice barely a whisper as she gestures her mouth shut, locking it and throwing away the key.
I guess she knows better than to argue about money.
“Perfect, if both of you will sign, please.”
My feelings aren’t hurt that he didn’t give me money. I have plenty of it, like he did. I assume that is why he gave all of it to his little girl and Molly. I agree with him on that. There will be no fuss from me. We sign the paper again, and this time, he has two envelopes in his hands. “They are both letters to you, from Mr. Lowell. I ask that you read those in the privacy of your own home.”
We nod and my mind whirls back to the second year of medical school. When I see my name on the front of the envelope in the neat, uppercase handwriting he had, I remembered the first time I saw perfection like that. I asked to borrow his notes, and I was stunned to silence. Instead of writing them, I copied them on a printer and studied for biology like that.
I place the envelope in my briefcase, getting back to the present. Posie starts to fuss, letting out a loud cry. I try rocking her again, but she isn’t having it. “Oh, it’s okay. Uncle Caden is here. It’s alright, pretty girl,” I coo, maneuvering her against my shoulder. I pat her back to try to see if she needs to burp, but it just makes her cry even more.
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