Mike looked from Marian, to Cass, to Beau. Beau nodded at him, hoping he understood that Beau would keep things under control, because anyone could see that Cass was hopping mad.
As soon as the door closed, Cass attacked. “You know Danny Smith?” he asked. “More than just know him, apparently.” Marian frowned down at the table, but still didn’t look at Cass. “You have the power to silence one of the meanest assholes in the NFL and have him on a plane with little more than a hello. And you didn’t say a word, not to me or Beau or anyone else.” Marian didn’t answer. She just shuffled her papers into a neat pile with jerky hand motions and then shoved them into the folder.
“Cass, don’t,” Beau warned him. “This isn’t the time or the place.”
Cass didn’t take the advice. “Were you two lovers? Are you still? Is that why the hands-off rule? If not, is Smith hoping to rekindle that?” Cass laughed harshly. “Hell, are you hoping to rekindle that? Is that why he changed his tune and was suddenly so eager to come to Birmingham? I want to see you,” he said mockingly. “Come to Birmingham.”
Marian looked up then and glared at Cass. “I think you’ve said enough,” she told him angrily. “My personal life is none of your business. Past lovers, old friends, new acquaintances—none of it is any of your business.” She stalked over to the door and stopped in front of Beau. He hadn’t realized he was blocking the door until she glared up at him.
“I’m making it my business,” Cass told her as he angrily followed her. Without a word, Beau took a step to the side so Marian could pass. He caught Cass’s arm and jerked him back away from her. For just one brief moment she looked broken, her eyes glistening with tears as she watched them. Then she looked away and stormed through the door.
Cass tried to follow, but Beau slammed him back against the wall, which earned him a growl and a punch to the shoulder. “Stop it,” he barked at Cass. “You’re acting like a jealous asshole.”
“I am a jealous asshole,” Cass told him, pushing him away. “I want to know what’s going on with her and Smith.”
“We have no claim on her, man,” Beau told him, the truth of it hitting him hard. “We’re just friends, remember? Let me go see her. I’ll talk to her and make sure she’s okay. She was pretty upset when she tore out of here.”
Beau hoped Cass would accept his offer with good grace. He could see the disaster ahead if he let Cass confront Marian again. Cass was not good with words, and he definitely sucked at “I’m sorry.” A few weeks ago, Beau might have let him go, and encouraged the implosion of the thing happening between them. But he knew how much Cass cared for her already. He didn’t have the right to come between them, despite his feelings for Cass and his growing feelings for Marian. He loved Cass too much to watch him drive her away just because he couldn’t turn off his demanding, controlling nature. Marian didn’t realize yet that Cass’s rough demeanor hid a heart of gold, a man who wouldn’t just give you the shirt off his back, but the back beneath it and the heart it protected, if that was what you needed. And it was becoming clearer every day that Marian needed so much. Even Beau could see that. She tugged at him, too, which still surprised him. He hadn’t wanted anyone but Cass for so long he’d forgotten how good it felt.
Cass ran his hands through his hair in obvious frustration. “I know that’s the smart thing to do, but it’s damn hard to stay away when I want to demand answers right now.” He let his arms drop with an impatient, blown-out breath. “You know I’m no good at this shit.”
“No shit,” Beau said with a smile. “That’s why God made me.”
—
Marian had her elbows on her desk, her forehead resting on her hands. There was no one to see, she was alone in her office, so she let her despair show. Danny would be here soon, and he was pissed. He would not be discreet. Chances were he would go charging through the building threatening every man in sight if they so much as looked cross-eyed at her. That would go over well with Cass. Not.
But even worse, he’d tell. He’d tell them all what happened, and she’d have to go through it again. He wouldn’t mean to do it, to ruin everything for her. He’d think he was doing it for her own good, that he was protecting her. But she’d look weak and broken to the team. Or they’d think she was a slut who asked for it. She got that a lot in the first few months after it happened, especially from her father.
She sat back, slumped in her expensive office chair. She might as well have been sitting on nails for all the comfort she found there.
There was no chance with Cass and Beau now. She’d lied to them. Cass had been worried sick over the whole Danny thing and she’d kept her mouth closed. He’d see it as a betrayal. Who wouldn’t? And Beau would follow Cass, not because he couldn’t make his own decisions, but because he loved Cass. Everyone but Cass knew it. She knew it. So why was she even thinking about getting involved with them? Which she wasn’t. It wasn’t even an option now. But it would have been nice if it was an option. Not that she’d go there again.
She’d always wanted more than one man. It had made her feel guilty, dirty, even messed up in the head over the years. She’d ignored her desires and pretended to be satisfied with a long string of boyfriends. But it was never enough. When she’d started dating Darren in college, she thought she’d found someone who shared her desires, who would give her what she wanted because he wanted it, too. But he didn’t want what she wanted; he didn’t want a third in their relationship. He wanted a slutty piece of ass who would fuck all his friends when they were drunk and horny. When she hadn’t complied, it had turned ugly. She could feel a cold sweat bathe her back and trickle between her breasts as she remembered that night in the college locker room almost ten years ago. She was proud of the fact that it took four of them to hold her down, and a solid punch to the jaw to shut her up. She hadn’t given in or given up. And Danny had come. He’d heard her shouts and he’d come and he’d made them let her go. She would love him forever for that. Because of him, she hadn’t been horrifically violated. But she’d been frightened and betrayed and used, and it took a long time to get over that.
Was she ready to risk herself like that again with Cass and Beau? In her heart, she knew they weren’t like Darren at all. But there was still that frightened girl inside her, frantically shaking her head and backing away from them.
There was a knock on her office door. She sighed. Life and work went on. “Come in,” she called out. When Beau walked in, she was surprised. She knew it wasn’t Cass. He wouldn’t have knocked. But Beau was just as unexpected for different reasons.
“Can I come in?” he asked tentatively.
She nodded, forcing a fake smile. Words suddenly seemed impossible. She bit her lip and blinked away tears. Beau looked so damn sweet and contrite. And gorgeous. He could have been hers. For a little while, anyway. He came in and closed the door behind him. Then he leaned against it and opened his arms.
She wasn’t sure how he knew she needed a hug, and she didn’t care. Her emotions were dangerously close to the surface. She pushed back her office chair and just walked across to him and right into his embrace.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Beau said quietly, rubbing her back gently. He couldn’t have been sweeter or more understanding. His hold on her was comforting, rather than amorous. He wasn’t taking advantage, or using the opportunity to grope her. He was being a friend.
She didn’t want a friend.
She shook her head and looked up at him. His brown eyes, full of light-gold flecks, held nothing but concern. But as she slid her hand up his chest and wrapped her arm around his neck, she could see understanding dawn in those pretty eyes. He blinked slowly, his long lashes fanning across his sharp cheekbones, and when his eyes were unveiled again there was a heat there that lit a fire inside her.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, his gaze straying to her lips. She licked them, a knee-jerk reaction that made him suck in an unsteady breath.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she whispered, and i
n that moment she was. As crazy as it was, she was sure she needed Beau’s mouth on hers more than anything else. He was the anchor she sought as her world spun out of control again.
Chapter 9
Beau pulled deep on his self-control and kissed Marian. Sweet and gentle, the way she needed it to be. She was upset. She didn’t need him mauling her. But, man, it was hard. He was hard. Lust was suddenly, viciously, twisting his insides into a knot. She was soft in his arms, her breasts pressed against his chest, her arms around his neck. She smelled feminine, her perfume making him crazier with each breath. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kiss her like he wasn’t drowning in her. Panic made him reach up and grab her wrist to pull her arm from his shoulders so he could push her away.
Her hand slid into his hair, and he could feel her close her fist slowly, the pressure on his scalp increasing until she was pulling it hard enough to bring him back from the brink of insanity. He broke the kiss and sucked in a breath, common sense telling him it was best to stop this before it got out of control. Marian bit his lower lip—hard—and he was falling again. He didn’t hold back this time, but dove into the kiss, yanking her up against him as he spun and pressed her against the wall beside the door.
Marian gave as good as she got, wrapping her leg around his and humping his thigh while she moaned into his mouth. Jesus Christ, she was hot as hell, and he’d never been a saint in his life. He tore his mouth from hers and buried his face in her neck. “This went from zero to sixty pretty fast,” he said a little breathlessly.
“Mm-hmm,” she agreed, panting in his ear. She was gripping his upper arms so tight he could feel her nails in his skin. But she wasn’t letting go or unwrapping that long, muscular leg from his.
“It’s crazy,” he tried again. “You’re emotional right now and I need to step back.”
“Don’t,” she pleaded. “Please.” He pulled back and met her stare. Her eyes were a little glassy. She had that look, the one a woman got when she was primed and ready for just about any damn thing you wanted. Beau ground his teeth together in frustration. “I need you,” she said. She shook her head. “I don’t know why. You just suddenly seemed like the only sane thing in my world when you walked through the door. And when you opened your arms I wanted to be held against you more than anything.”
“Are you getting back at Cass?” he asked, the question torn from him. He felt like an idiot as soon as he said it.
“What? No. Don’t be…it’s not like that.” She pressed her palm to his cheek. “I see you, Beau. I see you.” She paused and licked her lips, and she looked nervous and scared. “I thought you saw me, too.”
“I do,” he admitted. “But Cass?”
She shook her head. “Everything is upside down, isn’t it? I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel something for him. You know I do. And so do you.”
“No secret,” he said unapologetically.
“Will he be angry?” she asked, and Beau could tell she didn’t like the idea.
“No, he’ll be jealous,” Beau said with a smile. “He’ll wish he’d been here, too.”
“Instead of you?” Marian asked.
Beau shook his head. “No. With me. Us.” He sighed. “We should stop.” He knew it. For both Marian and Cass, he should end this right now. He was a weak bastard, because he couldn’t get his hands to follow directions and let her go.
“Don’t,” she begged. She took one of his hands and pressed it against her breast. Her head tipped back and her eyes closed as he let his hand close around the plump, warm flesh. The slick silk of her shirt caught on his calluses, and he could feel her bra through it. He cursed the light padding. He wanted to feel her. Just her. As if she could read his thoughts, she pushed his hand down while pressing it against her at the same time. She led him to her rib cage and then her stomach. Then a slow, torturous glide to her hip and down her thigh. She wanted him to lift her skirt and wasn’t being coy about it. She’d dressed in a professional outfit today for the phone call. Beau got the feeling it was armor of a sort, but it hadn’t protected her from whatever she was afraid of. Using her hand to guide his, she began to scrunch up the material of the skirt. “Make me come, Beau,” she whispered. “I need that with you. I need to feel…like I’m okay.”
“You’re okay,” Beau whispered, kissing her. He took over bunching the skirt up until he could slide his hand under it to her bare thigh. She shivered in his arms. “Yes?” he asked. He’d stop if she asked, even if it killed him.
“Beau,” she whispered, kissing his neck, right on that damn tattoo he hated, and made him shiver for a change. “Yes.”
Just then the door beside them opened and Beau stared into Cass’s furious face.
—
When he opened the door without knocking, Cass was ready to yell at Beau for taking so long, and to yell at Marian for not trusting them. He didn’t have the patience to let Beau handle it. Beau was too nice. Marian didn’t need nice. She needed someone to step in and tell her in no uncertain terms that she could trust them. That whatever was going on, they wouldn’t judge or leave her to fend for herself. Beau might think he was the sensitive one, but even Cass had realized there was more to Marian and Smith’s relationship than friends or lovers. And if Marian needed saving again, then Cass and Beau would do the goddamn saving and Danny Smith could go fuck himself. Maybe that wasn’t what he’d said earlier, but he was ready to say it now. He hated talking about shit. He really, really sucked at it. A quick temper and no patience whatsoever made for bad relationship talks. But he was willing to try for Marian and Beau, and so he’d come to talk.
What he didn’t expect to see was his recent favorite fantasy happening live and in person. He’d imagined watching Beau and Marian together so many times in the last few weeks he had to blink a few times to make sure it was real and not just a new version of his recurring daydream. He quickly slipped into the office and closed the door before anyone else saw them. Then he switched off the light, as if the office were empty. He didn’t want to be disturbed. Daylight seeped into the room through the blinds.
Beau immediately pulled back from Marian, but he couldn’t let her go completely. She was wrapped around him like a second skin. Marian had turned her face away. Cass hoped it was because she didn’t know who had unceremoniously opened her door, and not that she was hiding from him in particular.
Before Beau could move further, Cass put his hand on Beau’s back and pressed him forward again, until he was chest to chest with Marian, one arm braced on the wall opposite Cass, supporting his weight. Beau didn’t protest. He let Cass move him. Let Cass take charge. He liked it when Cass took charge.
Cass rested his shoulder along the wall beside Marian. He leaned down and nuzzled the soft hair behind her ear. She had it pulled up again, like it had been the first time he’d seen her. Very professional. It exposed her sensitive skin there, made her more vulnerable than she realized. Cass took advantage of it. When she shivered at the touch of his lips he smiled against her fragrant, soft skin. “I’m going to tell you a secret, Marian,” he whispered, letting his lips move against her. “And after I tell you, you’re going to tell me whether you want me to stay or to leave. All right?”
Marian turned her head and faced Beau’s chest, her eyes closed. She nodded, a little jerky, as if she were nervous. She hadn’t let up on her hold of Beau.
“I like to watch. I’ve been dying to watch you and Beau,” he told her in a whisper, like it was a dirty secret. “Are you going to let me watch?” His heart was beating fast, his palms sweaty. His voice was steady, though. No one would be able to tell he was trembling inside, waiting on her answer, praying it would be the answer he wanted.
Chapter 10
Marian shouldn’t have been so shocked. She’d seen the sex tape. She already knew that Cass had unusual desires. Desires that matched hers. Although she’d never fantasized about this, about being the object of a voyeur. But her rapid pulse and the instinctive tightening of her legs,
pulling Beau’s thigh into her so she could rub her throbbing clit against it, told her she liked the idea. She liked it very much. Especially because it was Cass watching her. Her and Beau. She’d pretended to herself and to them for weeks that it wasn’t what she wanted. But, God, it was.
If she said yes, if she let Cass stay, if she continued this encounter with Beau in any way, then she was crossing a bridge and there’d be no going back. She might end it after this, not allow it to happen again. But she couldn’t undo it. It would always be there between them. But she’d have the memory, wouldn’t she? She knew people had sex with coworkers all the time. After a while, they moved on, the awkwardness disappeared, and it was back to business. That’s what could happen here if she let it. Before she could think it through anymore, she nodded.
“Say it, Marian,” Cass whispered in that wicked-as-sin voice of his, his beard tickling her ear. “You have to say it. You have to own it, Marian.”
“Yes,” she said quickly, her mouth trying to outrun her common sense. “Yes, stay.”
Beau had been tense in her arms, holding her tightly but passively, as if waiting for her to decide. At her answer he relaxed against her, his hard body pressing into her curves, his thigh between her legs, his hand on her bare thigh once again. He leaned in and kissed her temple before he let his lips trail across her cheek and down her neck. She tipped her head back to give him more room and she felt Cass’s finger tracing her collarbone, bare above the neckline of her shirt. His finger was callused, rough against her skin. The dual sensations of Cass’s finger and Beau’s mouth made her shiver and goosebumps rose on her arms.
“What were you doing?” Cass asked quietly. “When I opened the door?”
“She wanted me to make her come,” Beau answered, his voice thick as honey, filled with desire, because of her—she knew that—but also because of Cass’s presence. It seemed to Marian he was hyperaware of Cass beside them. She knew she was.
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