by Jaime Maddox
Brit bounced it once and shot it, and Alex rebounded the miss and tossed it back to her. She tried again and this time hit nothing but net. Before she knew it, Brit was guarding her, and they found themselves in the familiar game of one-on-one. They’d played often since that first time on this same court so long ago, mostly before practices, but sometimes just like this, with the two of them alone at the park. It was always a challenge, and always a workout, and always fun.
This time was no exception; in fact, it was more intense than ever, and Alex soon realized they weren’t really playing basketball at all—they were doing battle. They struggled for position and neither allowed a basket unchallenged. They blocked each other’s shots and fouled each other all the way around the court. It was if they were taking all of the frustrations of the prior months out on each other now, getting it out of their system so they could move on. No matter who won this epic battle of wills, they would both walk away having said their piece.
Alex finally ended the game, with a three-point shot from the top of the key. Too tired to gloat, she simply walked to the bench and sat, wishing she’d thought to bring one of the water bottles from her cooler. She watched as Brit retrieved the ball and walked to the bench, then sat beside her, facing her.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Brit asked when she’d regained her breath.
“Let’s get water,” Alex suggested, and they walked to her SUV and pulled two from the cooler. They walked, and Alex told her the entire story, from the moment Kelsey confessed to the moment she and Wes walked into the police station the day before. They were seated on a rock beside the stream by the time Alex finished.
“So, when I found the test, you’d already suspended Kelsey and pretended she’d sprained her ankle?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I asked Sal the hypothetical question about how to handle a player who’d cheated on a test. She suggested the suspension, but we had to fake the injury so she could still get into college. It might have been dishonest, Brit, but I didn’t want to ruin her life because of one stupid mistake.”
“I guess I can understand that, Alex. But you blew your chances of coaching in college.”
“After this season, I don’t even know if I want to coach high school.”
“Alex, that’s crazy! You were born to coach,” Brit said, and she grabbed Alex’s arm, forcing Alex to look at her.
Alex smiled in answer. “Well, I haven’t resigned, but I’ve thought about it.”
“Don’t resign, Alex.”
“How about you?”
She saw Brit hesitate, but then she smiled. “As long as you still want me…”
Alex nodded. “Of course I do,” and Alex looked into her eyes, hoping Brit understood she wasn’t only talking about basketball.
“Alex, this was so dangerous. I can’t believe you did it.”
Alex shrugged. “I knew Greg wouldn’t stop unless someone forced him to. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. It was probably stupid, but I’d do it again. Kelsey’s life wasn’t ruined. P.J. is free. Wes is free. And lots of other kids will be spared this kind of trouble.”
Brit touched the smooth skin of Alex’s knee, sending a shiver all the way through her. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I should have trusted you.”
Alex turned to face her, locked into those blue eyes, and felt all the same energy that was always between them—the attraction hadn’t weakened with time. The sadness they’d both endured hadn’t changed the magnetism that drew them together. But could they ever trust each other again? Could Brit trust Alex to be honest with her? Could Alex trust Brit to be fair?
Alex had no idea. Relationships were still foreign to her, and even though she’d learned to be a thoughtful partner who picked up coffee from the store and socks from the floor, even though she’d learned to compromise about movies and food, even though she’d learned to discuss feelings and ideas, she had no idea if they could move on from what happened.
“Why didn’t you?”
Brit sighed, and when Alex looked at her, she saw tears flowing down the beautiful face of the woman she loved. Longing to wipe them, she instead shifted, sitting on her hands to keep them still. It wasn’t her place to wipe Brit’s tears. Not anymore.
“I don’t know, Alex. I don’t. I’m new at this, too, remember? But maybe it was a combination of things. I was frustrated about my mom, and maybe I was blaming you for that. If I didn’t have you, I could go back into the closet and hide where I was safe and my mother still loved me. It sounds ridiculous, but I think a part of me believed that. And then there was the fear of losing you. I’d just found you and was madly in love with you, and then you started getting offers to coach on the other side of the planet. I was afraid you’d leave me, so maybe I left you first.
“Maybe I’m not ready for a relationship—for giving and taking and compromising. I don’t know. I just know that what felt so right back then, when I thought you were dishonest and unprincipled, feels terribly wrong now that I know the truth. It didn’t feel right to be with you under those circumstances. Even if I loved you, I wondered if I knew you. Would you cheat on your taxes and go to jail? Would you cheat on me? They seemed like valid concerns then. Now that I know the truth, none of it’s relevant.”
“I still can’t believe this happened. It’s so unreal. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream. Or perhaps I should say a nightmare.”
“Couldn’t you have trusted me with this, Alex? I wouldn’t have told anyone.”
Alex patted her knee, and she nearly shuddered at the contact. Again, it was as electric as ever. She sighed. “I know, Brit. I know. It’s easy to see it now. But I worried it might be dangerous, and I didn’t want to drag you into that. And I didn’t think you’d approve of the plan, and you would have tried to stop me. I was pissed, too. I was mad at you for the way you acted, and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Brit leaned back until she was lying flat on her back, staring up through the canopy of trees at the brightness that lingered beyond, seemingly just out of her grasp. It was a metaphor for her life, she thought as she closed her eyes. For a brief, shiny month she’d been blissfully happy, but now that seemed so long ago. And Alex, who’d seemed so far away, was suddenly beside her again, but as unattainable as the warmth blocked by the dense foliage above her.
Sensing they’d said all they had to say, Brit prepared herself to sit up, to stand, and to walk away. This time, it would be forever. When she’d kicked Alex out of her apartment they’d been angry and hurt, and Brit had hoped it was just temporary and Alex would come to her senses. They’d make up and carry on. This, though, was much different. They were both harder now, and Brit supposed they were wiser, too.
Understanding that they’d talked the topic to death, Brit knew it was time to say good-bye. But what if she didn’t? What if she said something else, words that might open a window instead of closing a door? What in the world did she have to lose? Alex was already gone. Nothing else mattered.
Still on her back, with her eyes closed and her heart shut to all the world except Alex, Brit spoke. “Alex, if you admit that you weren’t thinking clearly, can you possibly understand that I wasn’t either?”
Perhaps it was the sound of Alex moving, but Brit thought it was actually a feeling that told her Alex was beside her, as if the electrical charge of the atmosphere suddenly changed, causing her skin to tingle.
“What exactly are you asking?”
Unsure if she’d really heard the words, or just imagined them, Brit opened her eyes, and sure enough, there was Alex, beside her, watching her expectantly, awaiting a reply.
“Can we try again?” Brit whispered.
Alex closed her eyes. This was all she’d wanted for so long. She’d wanted Brit from the moment she saw her, and she still did. The months they’d been friends had been some of the happiest of Alex’s life, surpassed only by the months they’d been lovers. Could they work out their issues and forget the pain the
y’d caused each other? Alex had no idea. But she never would if she didn’t at least try. She had to try. She owed it to Brit, and she owed it to herself.
She said nothing, though, because she feared her voice would crack before she could give it life. So, in answer, she simply took Brit’s hand and squeezed it, then placed it below hers, right over her heart.
Chapter Thirty-six
What a Difference a Year Makes
Brit could hear her phone ringing as she stood before the bathroom mirror, struggling to corral her unruly mass of hair into a thick band of elastic. It was early, but she had so much work to do to prepare for the summer, to get the beach house ready for the summer invasion. She was living the dream, spending the summer in Rehoboth Beach, and she had a girlfriend. Alex. She and Alex were dating again.
Brit knew where she wanted her relationship with Alex to go. Perhaps it was frustration, or insecurity, or inexperience, or perhaps it was something else altogether that had caused her to doubt Alex at the first possible chance. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she—Brit—was different, now. She’d loved, and she’d lost, and she’d wept and mourned over what she’d had and what might have been. Miraculously, she’d been given another chance with Alex, and this time, she wouldn’t blow it. She’d treasure Alex and talk to her more about her feelings and insecurities. She’d trust her.
“Brit, your phone is ringing,” Alex said through the closed door.
“I know. I’ll call them back.”
“It says Mom on the caller ID.”
Brit opened the bathroom door and looked at Alex, whose worried expression surely must have mirrored her own. Why would her mother be calling? Of the multitude of possible reasons, all of them involved death or dismemberment. Not a single word had passed between them since Christmas, and Brit had started to become used to life without her mom. Her relationships with her sisters were strained, because of course they were worried about pissing off their mother. Her dad really didn’t care who he offended, so they were getting along better than ever. Her mother, though, had been stonewalling, and this call was the last thing Brit expected as she prepared to celebrate the Memorial Day holiday at the beach with her friends.
Brit accepted the proffered phone and quickly slid her thumb across the screen. Neither she nor Alex moved as she spoke. “Mom, hi. What’s wrong?”
“Why does something have to be wrong for me to call my own child?” her mom asked, and Brit felt the months disappear. Nothing about Joan’s arrogance had changed. Yet, still, her mother had called her, and unless she was delivering a death announcement, that was progress.
“Well, nothing has to be wrong. It’s just that you haven’t called me in six months, so I’m just assuming the worst.”
“Five months, Britain. It’s been five months. It won’t be six months until June twenty-fifth, which brings me to the point of my phone call.”
Brit was holding her breath, and Alex had walked her into the bedroom and was now holding her, which was good, because Brit was more than a little shaky. She still had no idea what was going on. She tried to lean back into Alex’s embrace, but it was impossible to relax until she knew what trouble lay ahead.
Her mother wasted no time in telling her. “For the past twenty-two years, I’ve made your birthday cake with my own hands. And as long as my heart is beating in my chest, I intend to continue that tradition. So I’m calling to make plans for your birthday.”
Brit’s birthday was still a month away. She and Alex were down for the weekend to help prepare the house for the summer, but as soon as school was out, they’d be back for good. “Mom, I’m staying at the beach this summer. I’ll be here for my birthday.”
Her mother tsked. “Well, I suppose if you can’t be troubled to drive home, the rest of your family can come to Delaware to see you.”
Brit’s jaw dropped, and she turned and looked at Alex. “She wants to see me,” she mouthed.
Alex gave her a smile and a thumbs-up.
Concentrating again on the conversation with her mom, Brit decided to tease the woman who wasn’t known for her sense of humor. “Well, it is my birthday, Mom. The least you can do is drive a few miles.”
“I see. Well, then, we will. And I’ll bake the cake. Do you think you can pick out a restaurant for dinner? You know Rehoboth better than I do.”
“Yes, of course, I can handle that.”
“You should make a reservation, Britain. A table for thirteen isn’t easy to come by.”
Brit immediately corrected her mother. It had been twelve of them, for the three years since Samantha’s son Brandon had been born. “Mom, it’s twelve. Sam’s five, Jordan’s four, you, me, and Dad. Five plus four plus three. Twelve.”
She heard her mother sigh. “Are you saying that your…Alex won’t be joining us for dinner?”
Brit stood when she heard her mother’s invitation, overwhelmed. Relief and happiness combined to form a wave of emotion. Her mother was inviting Alex to dinner! It had taken five months for her to come around, but Brit would have waited five years for this. Fortunately, she didn’t have to. She knew her mother was stubborn and principled, but apparently her love outweighed those other factors. Brit wiped away the tears that suddenly flowed down her face and cleared her throat, and sat down again, hovering on the edge of the bed. “She’s right here, Mom. Let me ask her.”
Brit smiled at Alex and their blue eyes locked. Alex winked at her in solidarity. “Alex, my mom would like to know if you’d care to join my family for dinner to celebrate my birthday. Next month. June twenty-eighth.”
Alex’s grin lit up her face, and Brit couldn’t resist running a hand through her golden locks. “I’d love to,” Alex replied as she kissed Brit’s forehead.
Brit’s heart was ready to burst, and she stopped trying to stop the flow of tears, instead allowing them to run down her cheeks unchecked. After sniffling, swallowing, and wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she finally answered. “She’ll only come if it’s the strawberry cake, Mom.”
“Well, obviously, you two have a great deal in common.”
“Yes. Yes we do.”
She heard Joan clear her throat. “I won’t pretend to understand this, Britain. But you’re my daughter, and if she’s a part of your life, then I suppose I have to accept her into mine.”
Brit sighed and finally relaxed into the arms that were wrapped around her, holding her tight. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Please call me with the details as soon as you’ve made the reservation.”
“’Kay. I love you,” Brit said.
“I love you, too.” Her mom’s declaration brought on a fresh wave of tears.
Alex slid back on the bed, pulling Brit with her, and gently wiped away her tears. Then she smiled. “Do I need to get my calendar out and start booking reservations for your time, Miss Popularity?”
“You have a standing reservation.”
“I’m so happy for you, Brit.” Alex sighed. She was happy. And relieved. Although she’d come to truly believe that Brit loved her and had the guts to stick it out this time, she knew that the love and support of her family would make their relationship that much stronger, and she told Brit so.
“I love you even without my mom’s approval, Alex.”
“I know, baby. And so this is just the icing on the cake.”
“On the birthday cake,” Brit reminded her.
“Yes, the strawberry birthday cake. I’m glad that your mom reminded me, since I only have a month to plan. How would you like to celebrate your birthday? Do you want to play golf, or go deep-sea fishing, or go for a long bike ride?” Alex was so in love with her she’d have done anything in her power to make Brit’s birthday special.
Brit bit her lip, suddenly serious. Apparently, she didn’t need to think about the answer. “I’d like you to make love with me.”
Alex paused and tapped a finger beside her head in feigned mental debate. It had been a long time since they last made love. So much had happen
ed since then, and they were different women now. But some things hadn’t changed. Their love. The laughter they shared. And the constant desire for Brit that seemed to pulse through her like the blood in her veins.
Suddenly filled with desire, Alex pulled Brit close and kissed her. It was all heat and passion from the moment their lips met until they pulled apart, breathless, a moment later. “Do you want your present early?” Alex asked.
Brit pulled herself free of Alex’s arms and flew across the bedroom, her smile dazzling as she reached down and locked the door.
About the Author
Jaime Maddox is a recovering ER doctor who gave up the adrenaline rush of critical care to open her very own walk-in clinic. It was a good move. Not only does she now have time for her partner and their eleven-year-old twin boys, she can squeeze in time to write for Bold Strokes Books, too.
Her debut novel, Agnes, was a Rainbow Award finalist and winner of the Alice B. Lavender Certificate.
Jaime lives in Northeastern Pennsylvania, not far from where she spent her childhood playing on the water and in the mountains. These days she plays golf, too, and when she has the chance she floats on the river in a kayak. Because she’s a really nice person, she allows her partner and her sons to beat her at basketball.
You can contact her at [email protected].
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
The 45th Parallel by Lisa Girolami. Burying her mother isn’t the worst thing that can happen to Val Montague when she returns to the woodsy but peculiar town of Hemlock, Oregon. (978-1-62639-342-4)
A Royal Romance by Jenny Frame. In a country where class still divides, can love topple the last social taboo and allow Queen Georgina and Beatrice Elliot, a working-class girl, their happy ever after? (978-1-62639-360-8)
