‘Sorry. I should have let you know my plans but I didn’t really have any. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just knew that I had to get away. Everything reminded me of Pam. Everywhere I looked, I saw her: at work, in a restaurant and at home. I’d wake up in the morning and smell her perfume and, for a moment, I’d think there’d been some mistake and she was still there. I’d have gone out of my mind if I’d stayed. And I knew that Mal was well able to take over.’
‘And he was. He ran that company as if it was his own. Such a good man, a lovely guy.’
‘Is he still married to that witch?’ he asked.
Suzie laughed. ‘No idea. I exchange Christmas cards with Jack and Gina – they have three kids now – but I lost touch with Malcolm.’
‘I sent postcards to the office from whatever countries I travelled to, but, once CML closed, I lost touch with them.’
‘I was sad to hear CML had stopped trading.’
He gave a wry smile. ‘When times are hard, the first thing to go are the luxuries and, let’s face it, our clients knew how to throw the most lavish events.’
Suzie nodded, remembering the premier-class travel to exotic locations, the limos and the five-star hotels. ‘They were mad times.’
‘But fun, and’ – he touched his glass to hers, his eyes full of pride – ‘we were one hell of a team.’
‘Have you really been living like a hermit?’ she asked.
He chuckled. ‘Is that what Amanda said? I suppose it’s true but I have my writing.’
Suzie smiled but felt sad, too. Doug had been such a vibrant, larger than life character in his day, confident and fun-loving, but that man was gone.
He studied her and shook his head. ‘I still don’t understand why men haven’t been beating down your door. You’re gorgeous.’
She laughed. ‘That’s down to my accident. Over the years, thanks to lack of exercise, three pregnancies and my obsession with chocolate eclairs, I looked like a beached whale and I took to living in sloppy sweatshirts and stretch trousers.’
‘You’re speaking in the past tense,’ he pointed out. ‘Has something changed? You know Amanda warned me not to get my hopes up about our “date”. She said that you were rather unpredictable at the moment. I was flattered that she thought you might be attracted to an old man like me.’
Suzie laughed. ‘I am!’
He pulled a face. ‘As a surrogate dad, yeah, I know.’
She started to fold and unfold her napkin as she considered whether this was one of the times she should speak her mind or keep her mouth shut.
‘What’s on your mind, Suzie? When you start fidgeting, something’s up.’
‘You know me too bloody well,’ she complained. ‘Tell me to mind my own business if you want but, do you have feelings for Mandy?’
His eyes widened and then he burst out laughing. ‘Of course not. Why on earth would you think that? I’ll be seventy next year, for Christ’s sake, and she’s not even forty.’
‘Age difference never bothered you in the past,’ Susie retorted.
He looked taken aback by her candour. ‘You don’t pull your punches, do you? That was different. I was a young man, I loved women, I had needs and I had marital problems. But why on earth would you think Mandy is interested in me?’
‘She’s dissatisfied with her life. I think she always has been.’ Suzie frowned. ‘You know I have no idea why I’m saying that, it’s not as if I remember, thanks to the knock on the head.’
He frowned. ‘I thought you’d made a complete recovery.’
‘Not complete,’ she admitted, and explained her symptoms and how her family were reacting.
‘I’m sorry, Suzie. That can’t be easy. The strange thing is, I haven’t noticed any difference in you.’
‘You knew me BC.’
‘BC?’ He frowned.
‘Before children. I had to change my vocabulary once Jess started to talk.’
‘Ah, I see. But do you feel all right?’
‘I feel fine,’ she assured him. ‘Now, to get back to Mandy.’
‘Must we?’
She ignored his frown. ‘All I’m saying is that time is marching on and I think she’s getting nervous. She wants to see the world and she hasn’t found a meal ticket yet.’
He sank back in his chair and folded his arms, eyebrows raised. ‘And she has me in her sights?’
‘I think so but I could be wrong. She’s not a bad person but . . .’ Susie struggled to find a nice way to say that her sister was a gold-digging tart. ‘I just don’t want you falling for one of her lines. She’d spend every penny you have if you let her, and that’s the embarrassing truth.’
Doug gave a short laugh as he reached for the wine and poured the last of it into their glasses. ‘Don’t worry, Suzie. I’m very definitely off the market.’
‘What is it with your sister?’ he asked after they had finished their meal and were strolling aimlessly through the city. ‘It’s not just about money. She has an odd attitude towards men. They’re like buses, arriving one after the other, but she tires of them within weeks, sometimes less. Did someone break her heart in the past? Is that what’s made her so cold and hard?’
‘She’s not that bad.’ Susie felt obliged to defend Mandy. ‘I told you, she’s just never satisfied. The grass is always greener, you know?’
‘Mark my words, a man made her that way.’
Suzie frowned. His words triggered something in the back of her mind but it slipped away again before she could identify it. Damn brain! ‘She’s always said that she doesn’t want to be tied down or have kids and I believe that part. She never showed any interest in mine until they became completely independent. But forty is looming and maybe my accident has made her consider her own mortality. I think she’s afraid of growing old alone.’
‘And poor? And I’m the answer to her problems. It makes sense, I suppose. I’d be dead long before her. She’d be a rich widow.’
Suzie snorted. ‘I don’t know about marriage, but she definitely expects you to take her to Zagreb. So, mister’ – she nudged him – ‘I wasn’t being overprotective. I was just marking your card.’
‘Thanks, sweetheart.’ He squeezed her to him. ‘It’s true that she’s been in bad form since I asked for your number.’ He stopped and looked at his watch and then at her. ‘Are you tired?’
‘Not at all.’
He smiled. ‘Great. Then let’s continue this back at my place. I’d love you to see it and we’ve still got so much to talk about.’
‘We have.’
Chapter Nineteen
After giving Suzie a quick tour, Doug poured them two large brandies and showed her into his study.
‘It’s a lovely house.’
‘I should have bought something smaller but I couldn’t resist that garden.’
Susie sat down on the comfortable leather couch that faced the French windows. It wasn’t quite dark and the scattering of garden lights illuminated wild, untamed plants and a pond in the distance. ‘It looks like a jungle out there.’
He laughed. ‘Yes, it would drive Pamela nuts, wouldn’t it? To be honest, I always hated how manicured our garden and home always was. I suppose this is my little rebellion.’
‘Thrill-seeker.’ She chuckled.
‘I’ll show you thrill-seeking.’ He leaned forward, his eyes mischievous. ‘Come to Croatia with me.’
‘I can’t, Doug,’ she said, although she was tempted. ‘I’ve only just agreed to look after Bobby. I can’t just feck off, no matter how much I’d like to.’
‘Then we’ll go some time during the school holidays.’ He shrugged.
‘But how can you do that? Haven’t you been invited for a specific event?’
‘Trust me. It’s not the big bash Mandy seems to think. Once I write another promotional piece on their wonderful country, they’ll work around my availability and I’ll work round yours.’
Suzie gave a wistful sigh. To travel somewhere she’d never been
was exciting; to go with someone as much fun and as knowledgeable as Doug would be brilliant. Keith, Sharon and Bobby went away every year and, in her current condition, she knew Keith would pull out all the stops to spoil his wife. ‘Can you give me some time to think about it?’
‘Sure. It’s a beautiful country, Suzie. You would love it and I’d love to take you. Also, it would make it absolutely clear to Mandy that she and I have no future.’
Suzie shook her head and sighed. ‘What?’
‘She’s gorgeous and you always had an eye for beautiful women—’ Suzie stopped when he winced. ‘Sorry, but you know what I mean.’
‘I’ve told you, I’m not that man any more, Suzie. When Pamela and I finally sorted out our various issues, I was the happiest man on the planet. I knew with certainty, then, that I’d never want another woman and’ – he shrugged – ‘I haven’t.’
‘Aren’t you lonely?’ she asked.
‘Aren’t you?’ he countered, his eyes curious. ‘Haven’t you missed having a man around? Missed sex? You’re so young.’ He shook his head, looking almost shocked that she’d been celibate for so long.
Suzie burst out laughing.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘It’s twenty years since we’ve seen each other and we’re talking as honestly and openly now as if we were never apart.’
‘Why wouldn’t we? We’re old friends. As time goes by you realise there’s no time for pussyfooting around issues – which, incidentally, is what you’re doing right now,’ he added with a glare.
‘Sex?’ She thought about it for a moment. ‘I suppose I was never really around men other than the dads I’d meet at the school gates and I’d stopped bothering about my appearance. No man would have given me a second glance. God, that does sound sad, doesn’t it?’
‘It does, but you’ve turned it all around. You look great, sweetheart.’
‘I feel it most of the time and, now that I’ve been shocked into realising you only live once and the clock is ticking, I am going to make the most of it.’
‘Good for you. So, let’s start with you accompanying me to Croatia.’
She chuckled and sipped her brandy. ‘You don’t give up, do you?’
‘No. Like you said, we only have one life. If you truly cared about me you’d come. I haven’t had a travelling companion since I lost Pamela.’
‘Don’t try to guilt me into it. I said I’ll think about it. But you do realise it would mean we’d have to come clean and tell my family, Mandy included, that we’re very old friends.’
He sighed. ‘I don’t want to be Douglas Hamilton again. I don’t want the dinner parties with fake friends who have an agenda. I’m done with all that.’
‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But wouldn’t you like to meet up with Mel, Jack and Gina again?’ she wheedled. ‘I know I would.’
‘That would be nice,’ he admitted.
‘And I’d love you to meet Sharon and Noel and see Jess again. I wonder, will she remember you?’
His expression softened. ‘Hardly. She can’t have been more than three when I last saw her.’
‘I think she remembers the man who chased her round the garden and pushed her on the swing.’ Suzie’s eyes filled up. ‘And she remembers the pretty lady who plaited her hair.’
‘It was a happy time. Pamela was nuts about Jess. She should have had children.’
‘Don’t start.’ Suzie remembered how he’d tortured himself after the funeral about all he’d deprived his wife of, motherhood being the most important and heart-wrenching.
He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. ‘Okay then. I’ll “come out” as Doug Hamilton in a small way, meet your family and get in touch with Mal if . . .’
‘If . . .?’
‘You come to Croatia if and when your commitments allow. We can let Mandy think we had a mad, passionate fling when you worked in CML and now we’re taking up where we left off.’ He pulled a face. ‘Although that wouldn’t be fair to your kids. They’d be horrified if you took up with a man twenty years older than you.’
‘Twenty-one,’ Suzie corrected him with a grin. ‘Do you really care what anyone thinks, Doug? I certainly don’t. I’ve lived my life doing everything that was expected of me and putting up with crap, first from my da and then my husband. I’m not going to make excuses or apologise for anything I do any more.’
‘What crap did you put up with from John?’ he asked, curiously.
She frowned. ‘Do you know, I’m not sure. But I’ve noticed that I keep saying things like that so I figure he must had done something to seriously piss me off.’
He laughed. ‘Tell me about Jess. She’s, what, twenty-seven now? Is she married?’
‘I wish. I’m afraid she seems drawn to bastards. Ah, but, Doug, she’s so clever and pretty. She’s working as a freelance journalist.’ She named the various publications Jess was published in and Doug’s eyes widened.
‘That’s pretty impressive.’
‘Isn’t it? Pity she’s shagging one of her editors, married of course and a sleazebag of the highest order.’
He groaned. ‘I’m sorry, Suzie.’
‘Me too, but I tore into her and I think she might have dropped him. I hope so.’
‘Tell me about the other two,’ he prompted, and Suzie gave him a potted history of John’s children.
‘Losing their dad and then almost losing you too must have been devastating for your family,’ he said when she was finished. ‘It’s a miracle that they came through it unscathed.’
‘I’m not sure they have. They can’t handle me being so different and I’ve forgotten so much. So many memories . . . gone.’
‘But you’re alive, sweetheart. You can make new memories.’
She knew that he was thinking, Unlike Pamela. It was true. ‘I’ve been lucky,’ she agreed, ‘but I’m not so sure about my family.’
‘It’s strange. We assume when someone wakes up from a coma that all is well and it’s a cause for celebration. We never think of the many other possible outcomes. It can’t be easy for you.’ His eyes were full of sympathy.
‘It’s harder on them, even I realise that. Yet I still want to shake them and tell them to deal with it.’ Suzie looked at him. ‘I’m an awful bitch, aren’t I?’
‘You can’t control this, Suzie. You need to remember that. Your family will adjust, with time. It’s only been, what, a couple of months?’
She nodded.
‘Too soon to throw in the towel. Do you feel okay, other than that?’
‘I get very tired, but I was back with the consultant and he says that’s natural. He was quite pleased with my progress. He gave me a letter saying I was okay to travel but don’t tell Mandy that. I don’t want to make any plans just yet. I think Jess would throttle me if I told her I was heading off to New York.’
The truth was that, having heard some of the stories at the TBI support group, she felt nervous about travelling too far from home. She thought about telling Doug about the meeting she’d gone along to but didn’t want to bring down the mood of the evening.
‘Are you tired now? Would you like to go home or can I interest you in another drink?’
Suzie didn’t tell him that it was way past her bedtime. She felt more comfortable here with Doug than she had with anyone since she’d woken up, and she didn’t feel at all tired. ‘I’d like to stay a little longer but I’ll settle for a nice cup of tea, please.’
‘We forgot all about the exhibition,’ he said, standing up. ‘How are you going to explain where you were and what you were up to?’
‘I don’t intend to explain, remember?’
‘Fair enough. We can catch it another day, if you like.’
She fluttered her eyelashes and put her hand over her heart. ‘Are you asking me on a second date, Mr Thornton?’
‘I suppose I am.’ He chuckled. ‘We don’t have to tell anyone just yet about Doug Hamilton, do we? Only it would be fun to wind
Amanda up.’
Suzie thought about her manipulative sister and smiled slowly. ‘It would, wouldn’t it?’
Chapter Twenty
‘Mum was on a date?’ Jess stared at her brother. She’d taken him out for brunch, to celebrate the end of his exams and to check him out.
‘She was,’ Noel said before scooping up egg, bacon and sausage on a piece of toast and shoving it in his mouth.
‘Details,’ Jess urged impatiently.
‘She went to some art exhibition with Mandy’s boss.’
‘Mandy’s boss?’
‘And then they went to dinner. She didn’t come home until one.’
Jess stared at him. ‘You’re kidding, right?’
‘Nope.’
‘But when did they meet? Is she seeing him again?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t give her the third degree the way you and Shaz do,’ he retorted. ‘However, judging from the dopey grin on her face this morning I’d say, yes.’
‘Wow. I can’t believe it. After all these years she’s actually found someone. I hope she doesn’t get hurt. She is quite vulnerable at the moment.’
Noel rolled his eyes dramatically. ‘Will you stop worrying? I’d have thought you’d be happy. At least if she’s preoccupied with someone else, she’ll let up on you.’
‘She already has. We’ve called a truce of sorts, for Sharon’s sake.’
‘Well done.’ He nodded his approval before reaching for more toast.
‘Did Mum tell you the plan to get her through the pregnancy?’
‘Yeah, I’m in. It should work out fine. The more time Mum spends with Bobby the better it’ll be for both of them.’
‘You think? Sharon’s terrified of leaving him alone with Mum.’
‘When she starts to lose her temper, I’ll take the kid up to my room and let him play inappropriate games online.’
She laughed. ‘He does seem more content when he’s playing on your tablet.’
‘That’s because it requires his total concentration, and when he’s focused he’s calm.’
Second Time Around Page 15
