by David Belbin
‘I’m aware of the risk. I appreciate your concern, Eric, but I’m not somebody who tends to desert old friends.’
‘You’re a politician. When needs must, you have to be prepared to drop anyone and everyone. I shouldn’t have to tell you that.’
Their eyes met, and the hardness in his evaporated. ‘I keep forgetting,’ he said. ‘You’re an idealist, that’s why you went into politics in the first place.’
‘Sometimes I need reminding of that,’ Sarah told him.
They paid the bill and crossed the road to wait for a taxi in the DG cabs office opposite. Sarah should not have been surprised when, in the back of the cab, Eric kissed her. She kissed him back.
‘You haven’t seen my new flat yet,’ he told her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she told him. ‘I’m very tired. And I’m not ready to … you know.’
‘I do know,’ he murmured. ‘But I’m not giving up hope. You’d tell me if I ought to give up hope, wouldn’t you?’
‘I’d tell you,’ she agreed, and kissed him back, more enthusiastically this time. Enjoyed it, too.
Which complicated things.
30
Nick was all for dumping the crack, but Nancy wouldn’t let him.
‘What else am I going to do with the stuff, sell it?’
‘Aren’t you curious to at least try it once?’ Nancy asked.
‘No. I’m not going near the stuff for the same reason I won’t touch heroin. I might like it too much.’
‘Chill out,’ Nancy said. ‘I’ll put it where nobody can find it. Why don’t you have a bath? I’ll get rid, then join you.’
Nancy’s bath was much bigger than the one in his flat. She set it running before she left. Nick read the paper while he soaked. When she returned, half an hour later, he had unwound sufficiently to enjoy sharing the bath, drying each other off, and all that followed.
‘What did you do with it?’ he asked, later, when they were dressed.
‘A friend’s looking after the stuff. You don’t need to know who. Have you worked out who put it there yet, and why?’
‘I think it must have been a guy called Beany.’ He told her about Shaz’s pimp. He noted that Nancy didn’t react to the name, so maybe he wasn’t her coke dealer. ‘Or, more likely, whoever runs him.’
She listened carefully, then asked a few questions. ‘All you did was try and talk some sense into a few teenage girls. Why would anyone waste a grand’s worth of crack because of that?’
Nick thought for a moment. ‘Maybe the crack was meant to find its way back into the supply chain via a bent copper.’
‘A bent copper would have planted the stuff, not sold it on afterwards.’
She was right. Nick came at the problem again. ‘To the guys higher up the chain, a grand is a small price to pay to get rid of someone.’
Nancy remained unconvinced. ‘You say the girl’s got a boyfriend?’
‘There must be a guy who gives Jerry the money she uses to pay me.’
‘It’s more likely to be him. He thinks you’re getting too close to her.’
‘Jerry doesn’t do drugs. I don’t think her boyfriend’s a dealer either.’
‘The successful dealers don’t do drugs themselves.’
She had a point. But it didn’t bring Nick any nearer to working out who was out to get him. ‘Are you sure it’s okay if I stay here for a few days while I figure things out?’
‘Stay as long as you need.’
That night, she produced a rock that she’d taken from the bag of crack and ground it down so they could snort it. Nick had hardly any. He didn’t need coke paranoia: people really were out to get him.
They watched a Tarantino movie called Jackie Brown. Nick enjoyed it, but fell asleep before the end. That night, for the first time, they didn’t have sex, but made up for it in the morning. Afterwards, Nick offered to cook, but Nancy had marking to do and lessons to prepare.
‘Aren’t you invited to Joe’s for Sunday dinner?’ she asked.
Nick took the hint and cycled over to his brother’s.
*
After dinner, settled in the snug, Nick filled Joe in on what had been happening.
‘At least there’s a plus side,’ his brother said, when Nick was done. ‘You get to live with the gorgeous Nancy.’
Nick wasn’t sure how much to confide in Joe. They didn’t usually talk about relationships. He tried to explain how the crush he’d had on Nancy, once consummated, hadn’t turned into something deeper.
‘She is gorgeous, and the sex is great, but I’m not sure Nancy’s someone I’d want to move in with,’ Nick said.
‘You’re kidding. Why not?’
‘She can be … neurotic. Our conversations are kind of limited.’
‘I forgot, what you want is a mutual self-improvement class. Nancy’s a sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll girl. Ideal. What’s not to like?’
Nick struggled to answer this. ‘I’m not fit to live with anyone, yet.’
‘That, I can relate to. When do you think it’ll be safe to go home?’
‘I have no idea. First, I need to work out who’s after me, make peace with them. The only way I can do that is through Jerry.’
‘Then go to the hostel, see her.’
‘Maybe I will. In the meantime, what’s the chance of me getting some work on the switch, like you mentioned the other week?’
Joe frowned. He didn’t really want his big brother working for him, that much was clear.
‘Managing the board is hard work,’ Joe said, ‘and the pay’s not great, compared to driving. You’d have to come in and shadow for the evening, see if you get on with it. If you do, I can put a few night shifts your way.’
‘I’d appreciate it.’
The afternoon’s match began, but Nick wasn’t in the mood to watch football. He decided to cycle over to Alexandra Park, see if he could talk to Jerry.
*
He shows up unexpectedly, without phoning first. He’s just there, at the hostel, talking to Alice, when you come in from sharing a spliff with Shaz and Beany, who’s on at you again to treat him nice. You laughed. What’s Beany got to offer when you have a man like this? Look at him now, wearing a smart suit, Alice giving him that smile that tells everyone he’s the big man and, girls, you’d better treat him like a god.
‘I think you’ve met Jerry before,’ Alice suggests. He claims not to remember, asks if you’ve been to church today. You say you have and Alice gives you a look, as if to say there’s no need to lie. Then she says, ‘I think you have a visitor.’ He glances over your shoulder, stares daggers. Behind you, outside the hostel doors, Nick is locking up his bike. You want to say I’ll get rid, but Alice shows your lover through to the wardens’ office. You don’t know what to do. You get out your phone and text. I dint ask teach to come. Tell me where to wait, i’ll be there x. Then you go and find Nick.
Teach says he wants to talk to you alone.
‘Now’s not a good time,’ you tell him.
‘It won’t take long.’
You take him to your room. He sits on the edge of your bed. You glance out of the window, hoping your lover doesn’t walk by, see Teach making himself at home. He’s the jealous type, you know that. So are you.
‘Something funny happened yesterday, while I was with you,’ Nick says.
‘What kind of funny?’
‘Someone tried to get me into trouble. Someone who knew that I wouldn’t be at home.’
‘Ah.’
‘The question is, did Shaz or Beany know that you were having a lesson with me?’
You have to think carefully about the answer. Everything’s getting a bit tense. Beany didn’t know about your lesson. Shaz was still in bed when you went out. Only one person knew where you were, and he’s outside right now. You won’t tell on him, but you won’t lie to Nick either.
‘I don’t think so,’ you say.
‘How about your boyfriend? The one who pays for your lessons.’
Nick doesn’t mess around. He gets to the point. Normally, you like that. Today, you want to avoid the question.
‘What happened to you?’
‘Somebody tried to set me up. If it wasn’t Beany or somebody he works for, then the only person I can think of is your boyfriend. Might he think there’s something going on between us?’
‘Why would he think that?’
‘You’re an attractive girl. Lots of blokes would be tempted.’
You lower your eyes. ‘I’m sure it wasn’t him.’
‘Help me here, Jerry. I’m on parole. If you’re dangerous to be around, I’m going to have to pack this in.’
‘I understand,’ you tell him. You don’t, not really. Your phone buzzes. A text. You read it. ‘Got to go,’ you say. ‘Why don’t I see what I can find out, call you?’
Teach isn’t happy with this, but he leaves. At least he hasn’t cancelled your next lesson. Those lessons keep you sane. You change out of your jeans, then wait until Nick’s bike has disappeared around the corner before you join your lover in his four-by-four. You take a deep breath before you get in. His hand goes straight up your skirt, his favourite skirt, but you pull away. It’s time to get real.
‘What did you do to Nick yesterday?’
He scowls and you know you’re right.
‘Why?’ you ask. ‘Why did you do it?’
‘What I do and why I do it has nothing to do with you. Understand?’
You’re not having that. It’s not fair.
‘No, I don’t understand. If you hurt Nick, we’re finished. Got that?’
His eyes narrow, then he does something he’s never done before in the year and more you’ve been together.
He hits you.
‘This is the fourth time you’ve visited me this year,’ Mum said. ‘You must think I’m not long for this world. Don’t worry, there’s no other bugger in my will.’
‘I can’t believe how long they’ve made you wait for this op.’
‘I’d’ve been in quicker if they thought it was serious.’
Sarah wasn’t sure if this was true. The government was only just getting to grips with the National Health Service. She’d been in the Commons last week when the secretary of state for health gave a statement about hospital waiting lists, which were still rising. The government had pledged massive amounts of spending, but turning things around would take time. Time that Mum might not have.
‘Have you looked into going private?’ Sarah asked.
Mum gave Sarah a look of such disdain that Sarah was sorry she’d opened her mouth. It wasn’t about money. Mum didn’t live extravagantly, but she was comfortably off. It was about betraying your principles. Sarah changed the subject, stumbling into a conversation about neighbours she hardly knew. When her mobile rang, she was relieved. The Home Office.
‘I have to answer this,’ she apologized to Mum, who shrugged and picked up her Sunday Mirror.
‘I’m sorry to disturb you at the weekend, Minister, but we thought you’d appreciate a heads-up.’
A prison guard was being held hostage at Wormwood Scrubs. This was an operational matter, over which Sarah had no influence. No say, either, but ultimate responsibility. She listened carefully. This incident wasn’t directly attributable to the acting governor’s crackdown on illegal drugs, but was likely to be connected. Hash and heroin were thought to dull violent tendencies. Deny them, and you made violent behaviour more likely. Turn a blind eye, and so what?
‘Okay,’ she said when she was fully appraised of the situation. ‘I’ll return to London tonight, rather than tomorrow morning. Let’s meet at seven forty-five.’
She explained what had happened to her mum. ‘I might need to go on the Today programme.’
‘Don’t expect me to find Radio 4 on the dial. I always have it set to Radio 2,’ Mum said. ‘If you’ve got to leave early, I’d best get dinner in the oven.’
31
Dave Trapp was at least a decade older than Nick, his fair hair silver at the edges, but he acted younger. He spoke to Nick like they were fellow professionals, rather than probation officer and ex-offender.
‘Don’t get down about your contract being terminated. It’s not like you were sacked. You got some work experience out of it. Are you still volunteering at the drop-in centre?’
‘Yeah. I’ll put my hours up now that I have more time.’
‘And the private English coaching?’
‘I have three students. I’ll look for more. Exams are less than three months away. There are bound to be some desperate parents about. My brother might give me work on the switchboard at his taxi firm, too.’
‘Good stuff. Take heart. There’s a booming economy out there. You’ve had a setback, but there are bound to be more opportunities.’
‘Sure.’ Nick thought about telling Dave about the police raid. But if he did, he would have to tell him about the crack, or the story wouldn’t make sense. On the other hand, if Dave heard about the bust later, it would look odd if Nick hadn’t mentioned anything. He decided to downplay it.
‘By the way,’ he said, when Dave got up to show him out. ‘I had a visit from Old Bill last Saturday.’
Dave frowned. ‘You’d better sit back down.’
Nick gave the bare-bones details. ‘They didn’t find anything. There wasn’t anything to find. But somebody had tipped them off. I think it must be connected with the Power Project, someone with a score to settle.’
Dave nodded. ‘Makes sense. I have heard worrying stories about the project and its predecessor. Did you read the thing in the Guardian? They did an exposé that embarrassed a lot of people. No wonder the Crack Action Team got closed down.’ He hesitated, then added, ‘Which reminds me: I saw you quoted in one of the tabloids.’
‘They made something of nothing.’
‘Be on your guard. All in all, perhaps you’re best out of that job. Do you have any idea who called the police on you?’
‘No. But I am worried that they’ll keep trying to get me sent down again. To be honest with you, I stayed at my girlfriend’s this weekend. I’m worried about going back to the flat in case it happens again.’
‘You can’t live your life that way,’ Dave told him. ‘I’ll make a note in your file. You still have two years of probation, but the first one has gone really well. That will count in your favour if anything comes up that might provoke a recall. If something does happen, don’t wait for your next scheduled meeting. Call me at once.’
Monday lunchtime. The hostage situation at Wormwood Scrubs had fizzled out overnight and the media hadn’t got hold of it. No radio interview. Sarah needn’t have returned last night. But the early start meant she had cleared her desk. Leaving the chamber after immigration questions, she passed Alison Blythe, who looked knackered.
‘Ali, hi. How are things going?’
‘At home, terrible. Petra’s teething. I hardly get any sleep.’
‘That must be rough.’
‘It is.’ She hesitated, then her words came out in a rush. ‘Sorry I ambushed you at Home Office questions the other week. I should have warned you first, co-ordinated our approach to the issue. But I’d promised to ask a question and I was so low on sleep … still friends?’
‘Of course,’ Sarah said. ‘We have to stick together.’ Then she seized on a thought that had been brewing for a few days. ‘Actually, I’ve got a suggestion. Maybe you could run it by a few people. We’re not going to get anywhere with prison-issue condoms or needle exchanges, not in the short term.’
‘So I’m wasting my time?’
‘You’re never entirely wasting your time. It’s a drip, drip effect. But there is another tack I was going to try with my boss. It’d look better if the idea came through you, though. Bleach. The biggest cause of HIV in prisons is dirty needles. Not just for junkies, but through tattoos, which are a huge factor in spreading infections. If we make bleach available in a controlled fashion, for cleaning needles, it would help. Next Quest
ion Time, ask me to investigate it, would you?’
Ali looked thoughtful. ‘Couldn’t bleach be used as a weapon?’
‘I think it’s still effective at fairly low dilutions. We don’t want people killing themselves by drinking the stuff, either. Why don’t you look into it?’
‘I will. But shouldn’t you get credit for the idea?’
‘Happy to share.’
Sarah waited for a car back to the Home Office and ended up getting a lift with her boss.
‘The committee I asked you about last week,’ he said, when they were ensconsed in the wide, leather-upholstered back seat. ‘I take it you’re in?’
‘Of course,’ she told him. ‘I meant to ask you for the date of the next meeting. I want to make sure that I keep it clear.’
‘I’ll email you later. We refer to it as the ABC committee.’
‘Very apt,’ she replied: the letters referred to the levels of drug classification.
Sarah realized that she hadn’t seen Paul for a fortnight, or she could have asked him for the date of the next meeting. Was their fling fading out? Maybe that would be for the best. Chinese walls were hard to maintain in the bedroom. She would be glad to get clear of the Power Project, too. In career terms, it had served a purpose, getting her onto the ABC committee. In personal terms, it had helped Nick, for a while. From now on, it could only get messy.
With luck, the Power Project would wind down naturally. She was meeting Suraj next week to iron out the details. Kingston would return to his job at the city council. The other employees would join the Crack Action Team’s former workers on the dole. The project was an easy thing to end. She couldn’t say the same for her relationship with Paul. Or, for that matter, Nick.
32
It might be over. He didn’t like it when you challenged him. You didn’t like it when he hit you. Just the once, and he apologized afterwards, said he was under a lot of stress. You told him to fuck off and got out of the four-by-four. That was a week ago. He hasn’t been in touch since.
