by Chloe Walsh
"I'm not going to say anything to Callie," I replied quietly.
"You're not?"
"No, Nate. Callie's just a child. She doesn’t need to be dragged into any of this." I sort of wished I hadn't been dragged into it either. "I want to talk to Kim. That's all."
Nate looked incredibly unsure, but he nodded and took a left in the direction of Kim and Trey's house when we reached the exit of the trailer park.
I remained still as a statue the whole drive there. In truth, I didn’t know what I was going to say to Kim, or why I even wanted to see her. I only knew that I had to.
****
THE LIGHTS WERE OUT when we pulled up outside their place on the outskirts of Riverside. Kim, Trey, and Callie lived in a small apartment at the back of the garage. I'd been here many times over the years, but this time felt so very different.
Following Nate's lead, I climbed out of the truck and trailed after him as he walked around the back of the building. When we reached the door, Nate seemed to hesitate.
"I won't tell Callie," I repeated quickly. "And I'm not here to fight."
Nodding once, he reached up and tapped lightly on the door.
"Won't she be asleep?" I asked incredulously, wondering how on earth anyone could hear Nate's light knock.
"She heard me," he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Give her a minute."
Less than a minute later, I heard the jangle of keys from the other side, and then the door flew inwards.
Kim Cole stood in the doorway of her apartment, looking like the female reincarnation of her baby brother. Her long black hair was loose and falling out of her makeshift bun. Her expression assured me that we had just woken her up.
"Nate?" Her voice was thick from sleep, but her eyes were full of concern as she studied her brother's face. "What the hell did she do now?" It didn’t take a genius to realize that Kim was referring to their mother.
"Nothing," Nate assured her in a gentle tone. "Andi wants to talk to you."
"Andi?" Kim stared at me in confusion. "Are you okay?"
"Not really," I squeezed out, looking up at Nate's sister. The same woman who had babysat me when I was a child. The woman who had given me the talk about the birds and the bees all those years ago. The woman who had slept with my father.
"You mind coming outside, Kim?" Nate asked then. "What Andi wants to talk about isn’t something we want Trey and Callie hearing."
Kim looked from me to Nate and then anger filled her eyes. "Tell me you didn’t, Nate," she growled, dropping her gaze to my stomach and then his face. "Tell me she's not pregnant with your baby!"
"What?" Nate gaped in horror. "No, Kim, fuck!"
"I'm not stupid, Nathan." Kim grabbed the keys from the door and stalked outside, pulling the door out behind her. "I know you two have been messing around." She looked me up and down again before settling her glare on Nate. "Eighteen years," she growled, tone low. "Eighteen goddamn years I've spent watching out for you. Changing your diapers. Fixing you dinner. Going through homework with you. Cleaning your goddamn clothes." Stepping up to Nate, she shoved his chest. "Working my butt off to pay your football fees and uniforms." Her voice was hard and angry. "Only for you to quit the team last summer and screw up your scholarship! Your chance out of this world, Nathan! That was it and you threw it away!" She shoved him again, harder this time. "And now! You've gone and made yourself a daddy without a goddamn high school diploma."
"He threw away his scholarship for you!" I snapped then, unable to listen to another second of this bull crap. "It's your fault he's off the team, Kim. Yours."
"Mine?"
"Yes, yours," I shot back. I was burning mad right now. I felt betrayed and let down by the adult women in my life. Kim, Becky, and my own mother. I couldn’t imagine how Nate felt. I was still furious with him for his choice, but I knew he loved Kim. He felt like he owed her his life and it screwed up his logic. I wasn’t excusing what he had done, but I could see why he would have felt backed into a corner.
"How is Nate quitting football my fault?" Kim sounded genuinely appalled at the accusation and I was more than willing to give her an answer.
"Because he was covering up for you," I spat, clenching my hands into fists at my sides. "Don’t act all innocent, Kim,” I added when I was met with a wounded expression. "You know full well what I'm talking about."
"She knows," Nate admitted then, looking at his sister.
"Knows what?" Kim demanded, voice shaking.
"About Callie being my half-sister." Tears filled my eyes as I spoke. "I am so mad at you, Kim."
"Andi," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. "I didn’t… I never…I'm so sorry." Blinking back the tears, she sobbed, "I was young and stupid. Thought I was in love. I made a mistake…"
"I don’t care about your excuses," I told her. "I don’t even care about what you did with my father." Let's face it, she wasn’t the only one. "What I care about is that Nathan was dragged into your mess."
"Does Clive know?" Kim sobbed, eyes locked on Nate. "Oh god, he does, doesn’t he? You promised me you'd make Liv stay quiet." Brushing past us, Kim staggered further away from the house. "You told me you fixed this, Nathan," she sobbed. "I've only asked you for one thing in my life and you promised me you'd taken care of it!"
"I did," Nate hissed, stalking after his sister.
"Then how does she know, Nathan?" Kim demanded, pointing at me.
"I told her." He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "I had to, Kim. She's my girl–" His words broke off and he flashed a quick glance at me before whispering. "I couldn’t lie to her anymore. Not Andi."
"You're my brother," Kim spat. "Your loyalty should be with me."
"Do you even know what keeping that promise cost Nathan?" I demanded, furious. "Do you have any idea what position you put your brother in when you made him lie for you? Made him cover up your mess?" I was shaking from head to toe as I spoke. "What he had to do to keep your dirty little secret?"
"What’s she talking about, Nathan?" Kim sobbed, looking between me and Nate. "What did you have to do?"
I gaped at Nathan then.
Kim didn’t know.
He never told her.
Nathan looked completely torn as he stood between me and his sister. He opened his mouth to answer her, but I got there first.
"Come on, Nathan. Let's get out of here." I turned and walked away in the direction of his truck. "You don’t have to tell her anything if you don’t want to."
"Wait!" Kim called out as I walked away from her. "Andi, wait."
"Don’t worry," I called out over my shoulder in a shaky voice. I knew Kim and Nate were following after me. I could hear their footsteps crunching in the gravel behind me. "I'll keep your secret. I won't tell my father about this." Reaching the passenger side of Nate's truck, I yanked open the door. "After all, I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone – especially not Callie."
****
Chapter Eight
NATE AND I DIDN’T speak a word to each other on the drive back to my house. I think we were both trying to figure out what to say. So many secrets had been exposed tonight. So many lines had been crossed. I wasn’t sure where we were supposed to go from here, and I didn’t think Nate knew either.
I was reeling over everything I had discovered, and I was disgusted with the whole thing. Almost four weeks had passed by since I learned of Nate's discrepancies with my mother. In the beginning, I hadn't thought there was a reason or excuse valid enough to make me understand his position. But now… now I was turning. I was sympathetic to the boy beside me and I wasn’t sure if that made me an even bigger fool than I already was.
"Say you don't want me, Andi," Nate said, pulling up outside my house with the engine still running. "Say it and I'll drop you off right now and walk away." Exhaling a sharp breath, he clutched the steering wheel with a grip so tight his knuckles had turned white. "I'll understand if you can't get past what I did." He roughly cleared his
throat. "Hell, I won't blame you. But I can’t let you walk away from me without asking you to give me another chance."
"You are bad for me," I whispered, trembling. Everything I had learned tonight was rushing around in my mind, making it hard for me to think clearly. And in the mess and blurriness of my thoughts, all I could see was him. Clear and shining through all of the crap.
"Absolutely," Nate agreed, voice low and husky, his dark eyes locked on mine. "I've never pretended I wasn't. I'm bad news, Adriana. I'm poor. I'm from Riverside. I'm not even close to being good enough for you. I'm all of those horrible fucking things mommas warn their daughters about and more, but I'm fucking attached." He leaned closer to me. "You've got me hooked, girl."
The floor of the truck was vibrating beneath my feet, the engine ticking loudly, but that wasn’t why I was shaking. I was frightened. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a chasm, and one slight move would ultimately define my future.
Which way did I go?
Did I back up or did I jump?
Get out of the truck and return to safety, or take a risk on him? Inside that house, I had a family. I had Jackson.
But Nathan…. God, he called to something inside of me – something so strong and potent I couldn't resist it.
"I know I'm asking a hell of a lot from you here," Nate added, without missing a beat. "And I'm fully aware that all I have to offer in return is a beat up Chevy and a truckload of issues." His voice was thick and husky. "But I'm yours if you want me, Andi." His body was so close to mine. "Only yours."
"Will you break me?" It was a valid question; one I was truly frightened of coming true.
"I might," Nate admitted, "but if I do, I promise I'll put you back together again."
Exhaling a needy sigh, I whispered, "I should get out of this truck," feeling drunk with want.
His lips were only inches from mine. My heart accelerated in my chest at the realization that if I moved just an inch or two closer I could taste him.
I wanted so badly to taste him.
"I mightn't let you go," he whispered right back.
"I shouldn’t love you," I breathed, sagging forward, my lips almost touching his.
"I know." He reached up and cupped the back of my neck with his strong hand. "You shouldn't."
I pressed my forehead to his and exhaled shakily. "I definitely shouldn't."
"But you do." His voice was confident. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. One we were both very much aware was true.
I'd spent my life trying to cover up who I truly was inside and smother my feelings. Nathan Cole, for a huge portion of my life, was all I had ever wanted. Having him inside my body, touching my skin, speaking the words I love you. It was like I'd been thrown into a parallel universe where all my dreams were brought to life.
For my whole life, he was all I had wanted.
The only one I felt I could trust.
The one who saw through my façade.
This boy got me. He cared. He was real, he was present in my life, and he showed me love. I'd never had that before, and maybe I was basing my decisions on unhealthy teenage emotions and hormones, but I couldn’t see him in any other light. I wasn’t sure if I could ever fully get past what he'd done with my mother, but I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try.
Clenching my eyes shut, I made peace with my decision and whispered, "I love you back."
Nate stilled. "Does that mean you'll give me another chance?"
Reaching up, I cupped his cheek with my hand and pressed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth before pulling back and nodding.
His face broke into a huge, megawatt smile. "Andi."
Slithering backwards, I refastened my seatbelt and smiled. Nate's brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not leaving you to sleep in this truck all by yourself," I explained.
He smirked. "I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself."
"I think I better stay anyway," I replied. "So you better get driving."
He swallowed deeply. "You sure?"
I nodded. "I'm sure."
****
THE MOMENT NATE PARKED UP at Echo's Point, the notorious make out spot in town, I had my seatbelt undone. He seemed to have the same thing in mind as I did because we both reached for each other at the same time, and when our lips touched, the air expelled from my lungs in a heady gasp. Nathan's kiss was warm and his lips felt like home. He left the radio on; the speakers blasting out song after song.
Losing all control of myself, I dove across the seats and crawled onto Nate's lap, burying my fingers in his hair, reveling in the feel of having him close to me again. I pressed my mouth to his so hard, I felt our teeth crash, but I didn’t care. I was hurt and in pain and in love.
It was a devastating concoction.
Brushing my lips against his, I rocked my hips forwards before sliding my tongue into his mouth, growing warmer when the sound of a low growl tore from his throat. "Slow down," Nate groaned against my lips, though he was doing anything but slowing down. Turning me in his arms, he tossed me down on the old worn seat before covering my body with his. "We don’t have to do anything tonight." Nate was saying the words, but his body was telling me otherwise.
Burying his hips between my legs, he thrust himself against me. He was hard and erect and the pressure touched nerves that caused my body to jerk and my back to arch upwards. The friction was almost unbearable as Nate rubbed himself against the fabric of my jeans.
I'd never been more grateful for his beat up ole Chevy as I was right now. The seating was more than generous in size and I couldn’t imagine being able to do this in a fancier car.
He dragged me closer with his hands, held me in place with his muscular forearms. Fucking my mouth with his tongue, making me lose my identity with every thrust. I wasn't sure about this, but I was certain of him. I'd never felt as good as I did when he was on me, so I didn't stop. I wanted his love. I didn't know much about boys, but I knew this one was special. There was no way in hell all boys moved like this one.
Melding my lips to his, I continued to kiss him roughly. I kept my hands in his hair, dragging him down on me, loving the feel of his body on mine. I didn’t care if I was moving too fast or not. I physically needed this boy inside of me more than I needed insulin in my veins.
I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my lips when Nate's hands moved to my blouse, and when he undid the buttons and unsnapped the front clasp of my bra, my eyes rolled back in my head.
He suckled on my nipple, pulling it into his mouth, using his teeth to drive me to the brink of ecstasy before moving on to the next one.
What this boy could do with his mouth… it was dangerous.
He could make me scream with the flick of his tongue.
I thrashed beneath him, unable to keep still. It was too much for me. The feelings he provoked in me were shattering me.
"I'm jealous," I cried out. "Mmmm… uh. I'm so… jealous."
Releasing my nipple with a loud pop, Nate looked up at me in lustful confusion. Resting his weight on one hand, he continued to play with my breast with his free hand, stroking my hardened nipple with his thumb. "What the hell have you got to be jealous about, Andi baby?"
"You being with her," I admitted, moaning, still thrusting my hips upwards and crying out in pleasure when his erection rubbed against my clit. "Being with Dallas…Mmmm…" I thrust harder. "Being with anyone except me." I wanted to be his only one. I wanted to be the best he'd ever had.
"I'm not a fucking saint, Andi," he whispered, brown eyes locked on mine. "I never told you I was."
"I'm not asking you to be a saint, Nate," I moaned. "And I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, either. It just makes me so jealous knowing you've made other girls feel as good as you're making me feel right now." I exhaled a breathy sigh. "I just want to be on the same level as you."
"Baby, you're so far above me I can hardly see the soles of your shoes," he shot back, tone thick and gruff. "Nothing feels
as good as you." Lowering his lips to mine, he kissed me real deep and slow. "I love you, Andi Davis." He brushed his lips against mine once more before pulling back and whispering, "Aint no other girl can say that."
"Okay."
He cocked a brow. "Really okay or okay it's not one bit okay but I don’t wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah." I smiled weakly. "Really okay."
"Good," he said with a smirk. "Now get naked, baby, because I know I said there's no rush, but I'm worried I'm gonna burst if I don’t get inside you real soon."
Giggling, I scrambled out from underneath Nate and quickly stripped off my blouse and bra before starting on my jeans. I watched in envy as Nate got naked in what had to be record time.
"Gotta stop taking risks with you," he said by way of explanation when he noticed me watching him pull a condom out of his wallet.
"I don’t mind," I whispered, fully naked now.
"Course you don’t," he chuckled as he tore the foil wrapper open with his teeth before rolling it onto his large erection. "But I do."
"I wanna be filled up with you," I admitted, laying down on my back, legs spread open. "It's better that way."
"You'll be filled up with more than my seed if I don’t start wrapping it up, baby," Nate shot back, tone gruff, as he lowered himself onto me. "Hook your legs around me," he ordered, grinding his hips against mine so erotically I felt faint. Compliantly, I hooked my legs around his waist, using my hands to hold my upper body up as Nate fucked me hard and rough.
Kings of Leon's I Want You blasted from the beat up stereo system in the old Chevy. The bass crackled, the speakers protested against the obscene volume, as the cab of the truck rocked to Nate's relentless thrusting.
He was almost cruel and I loved every second of it. I didn't want soft loving. I wanted hard fucking and Nate gave that to me in abundance. He pinned me to the tattered, smoke scented leather seat and fucked me hard, grinding his body on mine, moving in ways that should have been illegal.
