by Knight, Amie
And then you looked up at me with tears shining in the depth of your sweet eyes and said one word, “Dibs.”
“What?” I asked, confused, too overwhelmed in the moment to even understand.
“I’m calling dibs, Mom. She’s mine.”
My breath caught and more wetness poured down my face like two rivers. But I knew in that moment, we were going to be okay. We were going to make it. You saved us, Lukas. You saved our family that day.
We both knew the day would come when you’d take Ella. We talked about it many times. Although, I know that probably did nothing to prepare you for how hard it would be. Lukas, you will have days with undeniable joy, where you wouldn’t trade Ella for the world, and you’ll have some days where she will make you want to pull every hair out of your head. But even those days, I wouldn’t trade for anything. Those days are special and important, too. Those days help shape and mold us, build us and prepare us. Remember that.
There is no one in the world I trust more to care for my favorite girl than my favorite boy. And when there are days you feel like you just can’t do it, know that you can. After all, you loved her first.
Your Momma
I gripped the letter in my hand as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. How had she known I’d need this? Because God, I had. I breathed out a soft chuckle. My momma. A damn know-it-all even in the afterlife, but I’d never been so thankful for that letter as I was right then. Thank goodness, I’d found it right when I had.
I was sitting on the floor of Mother’s old room, which was now mine, holding her letter when Scarlett found me moments later.
Her lips turned down into a frown. “What are you doing down there? Are you okay?” She came over to me and sat down next to me on the floor. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I said, already feeling lighter having read that letter.
“What’s wrong?” I was sure she could see I’d been crying, but I honestly felt better in this moment than I had all day. Mom was right. I could do this. I loved Ella too much not to. I’d make it work.
“Nothing, Red. I’m good. I’m really fucking good.” I pushed the letter out in front of her and she took if from my hands, giving me a nervous look.
“It’s from my mom.”
“Where’d you find it?”
“In Ella’s file in the cabinet.”
“Wow,” she said, bringing it closer to her face. “May I?”
That was why I’d handed it to her. So she could read it. “Of course.”
I grabbed her free hand and held it and I watched her read the letter, her heart in her eyes. My sweet Red. And when tears flowed down her face, I knew she understood. Just like she always had, even at fourteen.
“Oh, Lukas,” she cried when she finished and wrapped me in a hug.
“I know.” I squeezed her to me.
We held each other for a long while that day.
Eventually, Scarlett pulled back and palmed the side of my face sweetly. “She’s right, Lukas. You and Ella belong together. I hope you know that. And it’s not just you two. You have me and Mason and a whole damn team of players that I’m positive are up at that hospital by now.”
“I know, baby.” I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers softy. “We’re gonna be okay. As long as we have each other.”
I pulled at the collar of my tux, nervous as hell. I looked around the church as it started to fill up with people, and Mason nudged me with his shoulder.
“You look like you’re gonna puke.”
I shot him a shut the fuck up look. “I’m not going to puke.”
He shrugged like it didn’t matter to him anyway. “Then stop looking like it.”
He was right. I did feel like I was going to puke. And not because I didn’t want to be here. Because I wanted to be here more than any place in the world. I’d waited five months longer than I’d wanted to for this moment. But Scarlett had wanted to plan a big wedding and I’d pretty much do anything she wanted. Even wait for her.
But that didn’t stop the nerves. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to make Scarlett my wife. I wasn’t even a little nervous about that. I was more nervous about everyone watching us. Us being the center of attention. Turns out, I didn’t like being center stage unless that stage was in the middle of a football field.
The room was quieting and everyone was taking their seats. Scarlett’s parents had made the trip up from Florida and her mother gave me a finger wave. I grinned at her and tried to keep from losing my breakfast.
I loved that Scarlett’s parents were here and we’d had so much fun visiting them in Florida a few months ago when I’d met them for the first time. We’d even squeezed in a trip to Disney for Ella. But I was sad my mother and father couldn’t be here today to celebrate with us.
I looked on my side of the room where all of my people were. And my people consisted of my team. And not my Florida one. My real team. The boys I’d come to depend on—my chosen family. We weren’t on our way to a Super Bowl anytime soon, but we were still fucking awesome.
In the front row, Scarlett had set up a picture of my mother and father when they were younger, before they’d had children. They were a handsome couple and I smiled knowing they’d be so proud and so very happy for me today. And I felt more than thankful that I had Mason’s crazy ass as my best man.
The crowd quieted and music started up and everyone turned toward the double doors at the back of the room and I held my breath as I watched Ella walk in the room.
She was wearing a pink sparkly Cinderella type dress complete with a sparkly silver tiara on her head. Scarlett had let her pick it out and I hadn’t been allowed to see it. She looked beautiful and happy. And for every flower petal she delicately tossed to the floor my heart skipped a beat. She came to stand next to me and Mason, and I didn’t miss Mason lean over and kiss her cheek and whisper, “Good job, Ells.” She blushed down to her toes almost the exact same shade as her dress.
Hazel was next down the aisle escorted by Ollie and I had to say they made quite the couple if that was what they were. We all weren’t quite sure. Everything was very hush hush between the two, still. We were all just left to our assumptions. And assuming what was going on between those two was one of Scarlett’s favorite things to do.
Speaking of my Red. The wedding march started to play and my hands were slick with sweat as my heart kicked up a notch. My throat felt tight, my mouth dry as I waited on her to come through those doors with bated breath.
And when she came around the corner, my nerves vanished into thin air. Because her? Here to marry me? It seemed almost unimaginable. This woman would be mine for the rest of my life. She’d be Ella’s, too. She’d be ours. And that was all that mattered in that moment.
She was wearing a white dress that cinched in right at her waist, right over our baby, and then flared out in a tulle skirt. She looked like a ballet bride with her red hair up in an intricate knot and red lipstick on her lips. She was stunning and I will never forget how she looked walking down that aisle to me, pregnant with our child, for the rest of my life.
The ceremony was quick and easy, and I only cried a little. My boys were there and I couldn’t have them giving me shit at practice next week.
Our reception was at the Cougars’ stadium. We set up tents on the field and opted for a DJ instead of a live band. And when we danced our first dance, which wasn’t really our first dance at all, to Prince’s “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World,” it was kiss number two thousand three hundred and sixty that was graced upon me by the blushing bride. Yes, I was definitely still counting. I didn’t think I’d ever stop.
Since my mother was only at the reception in spirit, Ella and I danced together instead of a traditional mother/son dance. She lit up the room when I spun her to the sweet lyrics of “You are my Sunshine” through the DJ’s speakers.
The night had grown late and the crowd had grown smaller, but Scarlett didn’t want to leave. Instead, we were parked next to the can
dy bar that Scarlett had insisted on. She was popping Skittles into her mouth and I was standing behind her, my arms wrapped around her waist.
She didn’t want the night to end and I couldn’t wait to get her alone. I had plans on peeling back that dress slowly and savoring every inch of her delicious skin. She had plans on finishing all the Skittles at the candy bar.
“Ready to go yet, baby?” Please, dear God, I was about to pour the rest of the damn Skittles into my tux pockets, the rental fee be damned.
She turned toward me and wrapped her arms around my middle. “I just don’t want today to end. It was so magical and wonderful, and I couldn’t have asked for a better wedding day.”
“I know,” I said into the top of her hair. “But if we don’t leave soon, I’m going to have to throw you down on this candy table and have my way with you here.”
Tilting her head to mine, she pressed her lips to my cheeks. “Can’t wait to get me alone, Mister Quarterback?”
“You have no idea the things I’m going to do to you next week.”
Aunt Merline was moving in for seven days with Ella. I was betting in two, Merline would be ready to run for the hills. Ella was no picnic if you didn’t know her schedule and respect the hell out of it. Mason was our backup plan for when Ella drove Merline crazy, since we’d be on a cruise to Alaska for the next week.
“Okay. Fine. Just let me fill this cup with Skittles and you can take me to the hotel and have your wicked way with me.”
We’d booked a hotel for the night since we knew we’d want to be alone tonight. Scarlett had moved into Mom’s place shortly after the night Ella had been hospitalized. I’d needed her help and I wasn’t too afraid to ask for it anymore. It took a fucking village and lucky for me, I had one. And lucky for us, Ella’s heart problems had been better since starting meds and we hadn’t had anymore hospital stays.
“Let me grab my tux jacket and your purse, and I’ll meet you by the front doors.” I looked around conspiratorially. “We can make a break for it while no one is looking.”
“Okay,” she said, doubling her efforts at collecting candy quickly, and I dashed for the closet inside the stadium I knew our stuff was.
I threw the door open and stopped dead in my tracks. Because Oliver Knox was sitting in the bottom of that closet in his tux playing on his damn phone.
He squinted up at me, the light too much for his eyes. “Hey, Luk,” he said, all casual, like he wasn’t sitting in the bottom of a dark fucking closet.
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
He stuck his head out and looked around before popping it back in. “I’m hiding from Hazel.”
“Why?” I was confused. Were they together or weren’t they?
He just continued to stare at me.
“Spill it, Ollie. I don’t have all damn day. My wife is waiting on me.” Damn, my wife. That had a nice ring to it.
“Fine,” he growled. “I’m hiding because imavirgin,” he mumbled quickly.
“What?” I asked, thinking I’d heard him wrong.
“I said, Hazel wants to have sex and I’m terrified because I’m a fucking virgin. There! Are you happy? Now, close the fucking door!”
He couldn’t be serious. I’d heard him time and time again talk about chicks. Was he for real?
“Luk!” Hazel called and I looked over my shoulder to see her walking toward me. I looked back at Ollie in the bottom of the closet, whose face was full of panic.
“Close the door,” he whispered quickly.
So I grabbed my coat and Scarlett’s purse as fast as possible and slammed the door shut and leaned against it. Just in the nick of time.
“Hey, Hazel.” I leaned my elbow against the door like I was just hanging out. I was fucking terrible at lying.
She eyed me like I’d lost my mind. “Have you seen Ollie?”
“Who, me? No, I’ve been with Scarlett all night. Why? Do you need him?” Jesus Christ, I was shit at this.
“Yeah, there’s something I’ve been wanting to give him.”
I tried to stifle my smile. Because I bet there was something she wanted to give him. There seemed to be quite a story here and I, for one, couldn’t wait to see how it would all play out. But for now, it would have to wait. My bride was waiting.
“Oh my God. Luk!” I squeezed his hand hard and never in my life did I think for one second that I could possibly possess enough strength in my tiny fingers to make Luk wince, but I was wrong. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Of course you can, baby. You can do anything.” He was playing the doting husband to a T and it was pissing me off.
“Don’t you fucking patronize me, Lukas Callihan!” I shouted.
He looked around the room, terrified out of his mind. He looked like he was about to make a run for it. We were getting ready to have a baby and he was thinking about deserting me. I could see it all over his scaredy cat face.
“I’m not patronizing you, Red. I know you can do this. You are the toughest chick I know.”
“What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t call me a chick. I’m having your damn baby. And it’s trying to kill me.”
Poor guy looked pitiful. But there was pretty much nothing he could say or do at this point that wouldn’t piss me the hell off. I wanted to kill him and I was definitely never having sex with him again. Ever.
Finally, the contraction passed and I loosened the death grip on his hand. His face visibly relaxed. “I’m so sorry, honey,” I said for the twentieth time today. Any time I wasn’t in excruciating pain, I was completely reasonable. Other than that, I was completely crazy town.
“It’s time to push,” the doctor said from between my legs. “Next contraction, it’s go time.”
I shook my head, my eyes bugging out. “No, I can’t. Luk. Tell him I can’t have the baby. It’s too hard.” Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. I’d been laboring for almost sixteen hours at this point. I was pretty sure I was past the point of exhaustion. Hell, Lukas looked like he’d been run over by a train and he hadn’t done half the work I had.
I watched him take a deep breath and I was wondering if he was gonna grab my bag and get me out of this bed so we could hightail it out of here. There was no way I could push. I was too damn tired. Couple that with the sheer fact that having an actual child to care for scared the shit out of me, I made the snap decision that we just shouldn’t. We should just go home and forget this whole labor thing ever happened. Even if we were ten months too late.
But Luk surprised me. He didn’t reach for my bag. Instead, he reached for my hand again. He held it tight and he got that fierce look on his face like he did when he was playing ball. And that scared me. Because he looked like he was going to battle and I wasn’t. I was going home.
“You listen to me, Scarlett Callihan.” He made sure our eyes were connected. “We are having a baby today and when that doctor tells you to push, you are going to push.”
My tears slipped down my face. “But I’m so tired. I don’t know if I can.”
“You can and you will. And do you know why?”
I shook my head.
“Because it’s time for a new season. And that season is you, me, Ella, and our sweet baby boy cuddled up on our couch at home. She’s out there in that waiting room right now, waiting on Nelson to get here. And I know you would never let Ella down. Ever.”
He was right. I wouldn’t, but I was feeling so worn out. But as it turned out, I didn’t have much time to worry about it.
“Okay, let’s do this. I want you to lean up and give me a push for ten seconds.” The doctor looked over at Luk. “Count us down, Dad.”
“Ten, nine, eight…” Luk counted down time and time again. I lost count of how many times I pushed, but I just kept Luk’s words in my head. Ella, my sweet Ella, was waiting on Nelson. And it was time. It was a new season and I was ready to take my baby home with us.
I pushed hard one last time, and Nelson Lukas Callihan was born. He
weighed a healthy nine pounds eight ounces, which totally explained why he almost killed me.
Ella and I had decided on Nelson and Luk didn’t deny his girls much. It happened to be the late great Prince’s last name and she had recently found a love for his music. I may have had something to do with that.
They laid him up on my chest and Lukas cried like a damn baby, my sweet, sensitive man. A healthy baby boy, no complications, thank goodness. We’d been told early on in our pregnancy that Down syndrome was definitely a possibility and that our risk for it would be high since it ran on Luk’s side of the family. They wanted to do additional testing during the pregnancy to make sure the baby didn’t have Downs. But we decided against it. Whether Nelson was born with the genetic disorder or not, he was still ours. And we would still love him. So knowing wouldn’t have made a bit of difference, anyhow.
They wrapped Nelson’s pink, hollering self in a blanket and handed him to me, and more tears fell down my cheeks. He was beautiful and perfect, and I couldn’t believe that twenty minutes ago I was ready to call it quits and head home. I’d never ever loved someone so instantly in my life. How would I do this? How could I possibly love someone this much, raise them, and then set them free? Being a mom was scary as hell. I held him until he calmed.
“He looks just like you,” I said softly.
Luk smiled down at both of us. “With your hair.”
It was true. My boy had soft red fuzz all over his head.
“May I?” Luk asked before scooping Nelson from my arms and pressing him to his chest. And I about died. It was the sexiest, sweetest thing in the world, seeing my big, strong man hold my teeny tiny baby. Maybe I’d have sex with him again, after all.
“Can we send for Ella?” he asked.
“Of course.”
Luk asked the nurse to call for Ella out the waiting room and he settled into the chair next to me, Nelson snuggled into his chest.
“He’s perfect,” Luk muttered more to himself than to me, so I didn’t bother responding as he played with Nelson’s small fist and touched his cheek with his big finger. My boys. Oh. My. God. I had boys. My heart soared.
