by E. R. Wade
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to inconvenience you,” I say through clenched teeth, annoyed at her.
“It was no trouble at all. I was happy to do it,” she says cheerfully, smiling sweetly and innocently at me before turning away. She turns to Erin and Lucas. “So guys, have you decided which club we’re going to?”
Now that Skylar has engaged Erin and Lucas in a conversation and is blatantly giving Julian and me some privacy, I’m wondering what to say to him. He’s spoken to Skylar more than he’s spoken to me.
He taps his fingers on the table. I wonder if it’s a nervous gesture, but he doesn’t look nervous.
“So . . . You look different,” he murmurs. His voice is so low. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want anyone to overhear him. His intense, light blue eyes are locked on me.
What does that mean? Is that good or bad? I know I shouldn’t care but I have to know what he means. Since I can't fathom what to make of his statement, I decide to ask him.
“Good different?” I ask softly.
His piercing blue eyes reach right into my soul. “Always. Always good.” He pauses for a couple of seconds, and then adds, “You’re beautiful.”
My heart stops beating. I can’t breathe. I stare at him, speechless. Awareness sizzles between us. I want to run my hands through his gorgeous dark blond hair. I want to straddle him and kiss him until he forgets his own name. I want to lie naked in his arms. I want to be beneath him. I want to feel his weight on me. I want him buried deep inside me.
Somewhere at the back of my mind, I know I’m in dangerous territory. By sheer force of will, I lower my gaze and make myself breathe. I feel a little too exposed. There’s no hiding it, he knows I’m attracted to him. I’m not going to panic. It’s not the end of the world since I have no intention of acting on it.
He stays silent as I struggle for normalcy. When I’m sure my heart rate is back to normal, I attempt to make small talk.
“Do you come here often?” I cringe at the question. Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.
“No. Not often.” He doesn’t volunteer more information. His blue eyes are studying me. “You’re originally from here,” he says. Can he tell that just by looking at me? Can he also tell how I haven’t stopped thinking about him since the day we met, and how I’ve felt both excitement and dread at the thought of seeing him again? “Nadya mentioned it,” he adds, probably assuming I was looking at him trying to figure out how he knows I’m from the city. That definitely makes more sense than thinking he has super powers.
Feeling silly, I say, “Yes. I grew up here.” I decide to give him more information about myself in the hope that it’ll encourage him to open up to me. “I left nine years ago to go to college in New York. I used to come back for the holidays every year until my junior year.”
“What happened?” he asks as his expression softens. It’s like he knows I’m about to say something unpleasant.
“My parents. They died in a car accident. The other driver was drunk. He died too.”
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. His voice is tinted with sympathy. “I imagine one never gets over the loss of parents.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “It took me some time to come to terms with it. I think I had assumed they’ll always be around.” Thank goodness for Wes who was twenty-five at the time. He was my rock. He took care of the funeral arrangements, dealt with the insurance company and sold the house neither of us wanted to keep. My parents’ made sure that Wes and I were going to be comfortable for many years.
I need to get off the sorrowful subject of my parents and learn about him. “Where did you grow up?”
After a slight hesitation, he answers reluctantly. “California.” California? He could try to be more specific. Before I can ask him what part of the state, he glances at my empty glass and asks, “Can I get you another drink?”
I would rather sit and listen to him talk but it’s obvious that he doesn’t want to talk about himself, so instead I smile at him. “Please.”
“What are you having?”
I push my glass away. “Surprise me.”
He raises an eyebrow. I’ve surprised him. He wasn’t expecting me to say that. “As you wish.” He glances around the table, no one else needs a refill. He leaves the booth without another word.
Skylar looks at me and angles her head towards Julian’s departing back. She wants to know where he is going. I point to my empty glass with my index finger. She smiles and focuses her attention on Lucas.
I can’t resist watching him make his way to the bar. I was right earlier – he looks amazing from behind. He’s talking to the bartender, and I am curious to see what he orders for me. Whatever it is, I know I won’t be disappointed. There are two women about my age at the bar who are openly checking him out. I don’t like the feeling it stirs up in me. I wish they would just look at someone else or focus on their drinks. Julian seems to be oblivious or maybe he is deliberately ignoring them as he watches the bartender mix a drink. The bartender passes him a cream-colored concoction and a beer, and he slips him a note shaking his head subtly as the bartender moves to give him his change. I quickly glance away as he makes his way back to us. My gaze collides with Skylar’s honey-colored eyes and curved lips. She has a knowing look. I ignore her, and pretend to search inside my clutch. Keys, check. Phone, check. Lip gloss, check. Powder compact, check. I feel him before I see him. He slides in next to me.
“Here you go”, he says, handing me my drink.
“What’s this?” I think I have an idea.
“Why don’t you taste it?”
I take a small sip of the cold drink. Irish cream, vodka and coffee liqueur. One of my all-time favorite cocktails. How did he know?
Watching me closely, he answers, “A Screaming Orgasm. Do you like it?”
“Yes. I do.” Looking into his blue eyes, I add, “Thank you. It’s my favorite drink.” His eyes are so enchantingly blue.
Licking my suddenly dry lips – coated with the sweet taste of the cocktail – I start to ask him why he chose this particular cocktail but the heat in his eyes stop the words from coming out. His gaze drops to my lips, and they part involuntarily. His hand tightens on the beer bottle. My heart is pounding loudly in my chest. I feel flushed all over.
Somehow I manage to remind myself that my friends are sitting right opposite us, and I wrench my gaze away from him choosing to stare at my drink instead. What I would give to have a real screaming orgasm with Julian. Only with him. Thoughts of us sweaty and naked, entwined on a bed flash through my mind, making me instinctively clench my thighs.
“Sofia.” He says my name in that deep, sexy voice of his. It sends shivers down my spine. I refuse to look at him, and I can’t get my throat to work so that I can at least acknowledge him.
“Sorry, I’m late guys. I got side-tracked.” Alana. Her arrival cuts through the sexual tension in the air between me and Julian. I should be relieved but I’m feeling anything but that. What was he about to say . . . or do? “What did I miss?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. “Julian. You’re here.” She sounds pleasantly surprised, and I can see the delight in her eyes. Did she invite him?
“Yes, I am.” He’s smiling up at her. Just as I suspected, he’s friends with everyone but me. “But I’m leaving now.”
His words penetrate my thoughts. He’s leaving? I swing my gaze to him but he isn’t looking at me. He’s still looking at Alana.
“You can’t leave. You just got here,” Erin protests. Actually he didn’t but he’s spent most of his time talking to me, which I’m sure everyone except Alana is aware of.
“The night is still young. We’d love for you to stay,” Skylar adds, not looking at Julian but at me. Great! Could she be any more obvious? I stay silent, keeping my eyes fixed on Skylar who is clearly not bothered by my glare. I know why I’m displeased. It’s not because of Skylar, even though I would have preferred it if she had stayed silent. It’s because he is leaving. I don’t want him to. Al
though if he stays, I don’t think I’ll be able to hide my attraction to him and everyone at the booth will no doubt notice. I know I should be pleased he is leaving so that I can get back to my original plan of having fun but I am not, and I suspect that that plan is shot anyway. There’s no fun to be had anymore. Julian has made sure of that with his overwhelming presence.
After saying his goodbyes to everyone, he turns to me and nods before walking away. There’s no trace of the man who was looking at me with desire in his eyes mere minutes ago. I watch him walk away and out of the bar, taking a part of me along with him.
FIVE
Sofia
It’s Tuesday and it’s almost time for Julian and me to leave the office for the meeting with the clients. I don’t know if I’m supposed to meet him in the lobby or in his office. We have to leave in the next five minutes if we’re going to get to Howard Street on time. There will be heavy traffic at this time of the day. I don’t know why but I’m feeling a little antsy. It must be because of the time. With another glance at the clock, I push determinedly from my chair and gather my bag and portfolio. I’ll just go to his office. No big deal.
He’s not in his office, and I can’t see any sign that he’s been here today. Everything on his desk is neatly arranged. Where could he be? I should ask Erin or Nadya, they would know. I glance around the room slowly trying to get a reading on Julian. He’s very neat. I wonder if he is obsessively so. He has a large shelf filled with books taking up an entire wall. I take a couple of steps inside to get a better view. Most are architectural and design books. There are a few on interior decoration, surfing and golf.
So he surfs and plays golf. Interesting. I don’t do either so we don’t have that in common. The extent of sports and exercise I willingly participate in is walking and climbing up the stairs, and even those have their limits.
I turn towards the floor-to-ceiling window behind his leather chair. Not a bad view of the city to look at every day. Though I doubt he has time to sit down and admire the view. Turning to leave his office before he finds me snooping, my eyes fall on a couple of picture frames sitting on his table. I give in to my curiosity to know as much as possible about him, despite the voice screaming in my head that he wouldn’t be pleased to see me in his office uninvited. Not to mention Nadya or anyone else could walk in.
Ignoring all reasoning and giving in to my need to know more about him, I go nearer the table to look at the pictures. I’m staring at an older couple who are obviously his parents. They appear to be in their late fifties. His mother is pretty with blond hair and light blue eyes just like her son. She has a very kind smile. Julian gets his other facial features and his height from his father. Although the older man has light brown hair and hazel eyes, they look very much alike. This is what Julian would look like in thirty years. Handsome and distinguished.
The other picture is of a young woman with blond hair wrapped in the arms of a tall brown-haired man, and smiling lovingly at each other. They are both wearing wedding bands, and look very much in love, judging by the look in their eyes and how they’re holding each other. It’s like they never want to let go. I’m guessing that the woman is Julian’s sister. There must be a romantic story here. I wish I could hear it.
“May I help you with something?”
I whirl around at Julian’s deep, calm voice. He’s standing by the door, a few feet away. He’s wearing an expensive, tailored slate grey suit and pants with a white shirt that has the top two buttons undone, and no tie. He looks elegant. He looks divine. I’m certain I have never set eyes on a more handsome man, and I probably never will.
I’m standing in his office staring at him while he’s waiting for my answer. I try to suppress the feeling of guilt from being inside his office uninvited and then taking a liberty to look at his things without his permission. And to make it worse, I momentarily forgot the meeting we’re supposed to be attending.
“I was looking for you. We need to leave for the meeting, or we’ll be late,” I say, and then hastily add, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”
He nods, and steps aside to indicate that I can leave his office.
Feeling faintly embarrassed, I walk past him and breathe in his intoxicating masculine scent.
In the lobby, Julian presses the elevator call button, and the doors to one open immediately. He motions for me to enter before him, and I go directly to the corner. He presses a button for one of the parking floors and the doors close. We are the only two people inside. In the confines of the elevator, I am completely aware of him. I’m looking straight ahead but I can see him from the corner of my eye. He’s leaning on a paneled wall to my right and typing on his phone, not bothering to make small talk or spare me a glance. Julian is back to his cold and impassive self. It’s like Friday never happened. I didn’t see him yesterday but I knew he was in the office.
I’m relieved when the elevator doors open. Once again, he courteously waits for me to exit first. Not sure which car is his, I follow him silently. He uses a key fob to unlock the doors of a dark grey Jaguar XJR, as we stop by the passenger side of the car. His car is beautiful. Julian has good taste. I may not own a car, thanks to the constant heavy traffic in the city and the lack of parking spaces, but I definitely know my cars. And this is a luxury car with a powerful engine which can accelerate from zero to sixty miles per hour in less than five seconds.
Julian opens the passenger door for me, and a few seconds later we’re on our way to Howard Street. As anticipated, we hit a lot of traffic. Julian still hasn’t said a word to me, and although we’ve been in the car for all of five minutes, it feels like five hours. I’m looking out the window trying to pretend that he’s not in the car with me. But that’s impossible. I can smell his distinct and enticing male scent. Despite my trying not to look at him, my eyes stray to his capable hands on the steering wheel. His fingers are long and his nails are neatly trimmed. Imagining the things he can do with those hands have me squirming with lust. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead. I quickly avert my gaze. I haven’t had sex in over six months but surely that can’t be the reason why I want him. I’ve gone without for much longer than that. Suddenly, Julian walks into my life and all I can think about is having sex with him.
I probably shouldn’t have been drinking around him on Friday night. I obviously imagined his reaction to me judging by his aloof demeanor today. I don’t know what I expected but I would have appreciated it if he’s a bit friendly.
Being around him makes me nervous, but today it feels magnified. It’s probably because this is the first time we’re alone – just the two of us together. Added to that, the silence is driving me nuts. I have no intention of spending the entire car ride in silence. Maybe I could talk about the client we’re on our way to see, or I could ask him about his –
“Would you like some music?” he asks unexpectedly.
“Huh? What?” Great, Sofia. Very eloquent.
“Would you like me to put on the radio?”
“I don’t mind either way.”
He glances at me, and then turns on the radio.
Less than thirty minutes later, he pulls into a spot on the third floor of the parking garage, but he doesn’t switch off the car.
“You don’t have to be worried about the meeting. We’re just going to talk about what they want,” he tells me in the kindest voice I’ve heard him use since the day I met him.
“I’m not worried,” I say quickly. Why would he think that? “I’ve done this too many times.”
“You seem anxious.” He must have seen the question on my face.
“It’s not because of the meeting,” I admit, then immediately regret it. Please, don’t let him ask me why.
“So what’s the problem?” Damn. What do I say? The truth? That he’s the one making me anxious? His blue eyes gaze at me, making my heart beat a little faster. I’ve got to get out of the car. Staying in this enclosed space with him is making me feel more on edge.
“There’s no problem. I was just a little distracted but I’m okay now and ready for the meeting.” I put my hand on the door handle to signal to him that I’m ready to get to work. Ready to bolt is more like it.
“Are you sure, Sofia?” Why is he saying my name like that? Is this man deliberately trying to drive me crazy? His voice is so seductive.
Polite or not, I unlock the door and open it. “Yes, I’m sure,” I say as I get down from the car.
Today is going to be a long day.
***
It’s mid-afternoon, and I feel the need for coffee. I’m not one of those people who have to have a cup before they can function. I can go days without a single sip, and then suddenly have a craving for it. However, today is one of those days when I need some caffeine.
I cover the short distance to the coffee room. I walk inside and freeze a few steps in. Julian is pouring coffee in a mug. I didn’t know he was in the office. I take a step back. I’m not sure why or whether I plan to go back to my office. I haven’t seen him since we got back to the office from yesterday’s meeting which thankfully went very well.
He looks up from his coffee and sees me staring at him. I’m surprised at the undisguised heat that flares up in his eyes. My skin prickles with awareness and I try to will my body to move, to look away from him and walk out of the coffee room. But I don’t move. My body is rooted to the spot. I don’t understand my body’s reaction to him. I feel like I’m waiting for him. To do what exactly? I’m not sure. To make a move? To kiss me? To go wherever he’s willing to take me? I’m drawn to him. I want to take a step closer to him, but only if he’ll let me. I’m focused on him, only him, just like the first time I saw him. A myriad of sensations float across my stomach.
The sizzling sexual tension is shattered by Lucas’s friendly greeting. Julian recovers first. He turns to Lucas, gives him an answering nod and walks out of the room. Lucas is looking at me curiously.
