by E. R. Wade
I turn to see where Tom is. He’s standing in the middle of the room talking to Jim, and by that I mean he’s talking and Jim is listening. I turn back to Julian.
“Do you have plans tonight?” I ask quietly. Say no. Please say no. My heart is beating loudly. I’m feeling really nervous, and I hope he can’t tell. I don’t want to wait till the next time he initiates contact. I want him now.
His eyes search my face and after a moment’s hesitation, he responds. “No plans.” I’m sure he knows why I asked.
“Come over later.” I want to touch him. I wish I could place my palm on his chest. I crave some form of contact with him.
Heated blue eyes stare at me but his expression doesn’t change. “Okay.”
Tom interrupts us, and I don’t get to say anything else. “Julian, I need your opinion on the floating wall.”
“Please excuse me,” he tells me politely. He goes to join Tom and Jim.
Seconds later, my phone vibrates in my bag. I rifle through my bag until I find it at the bottom instead of inside one of the small pockets which is its usual place.
It’s a text from Julian.
Him: 7:30?
I look up at him but he’s not looking at me, he’s having a discussion with Tom. Looking down at my phone, I text him back.
Me: Works for me
Because I’m watching him, I know he reads my text message immediately after I pressed send. He’s still talking to Tom but is also typing on his phone.
My phone buzzes. Another message.
Him: I’ll bring dinner. Chinese?
Surprised, I glance at him but he’s focused on Tom. He wants us to have dinner together? I know it’s not like going out on a date but still this is unexpected. I shouldn’t read anything into it. This is just about sex. Hell, he didn’t even remember I existed until a few minutes ago. I make my response casual.
Me: Sure
Him: Anything in particular you like?
Me: Whatever you get will be fine
After a few minutes, I realize that he’s not going to send me any more texts. He and Tom are having a lively discussion so I silently slip out of the room.
I want to text him that I can’t wait to see him but I don’t.
TWELVE
Julian – Four and a half years ago
It’s Saturday afternoon. Addie and I are on our bed coming down from a post-sex high. One minute we were making sandwiches for lunch in the kitchen, and the next we were tearing each other’s clothes off.
“I love you, baby,” she says against my chest where she’s nestled.
I hold her closer, and kiss her hair. “I love you too.”
“There'll never be anyone else for me. I’ll always want to be with you. There’s no reason for us to wait.” She pauses, stroking her hand slowly down my bare chest. “I don’t want to wait,” she adds in a murmur.
I know what she’s talking about. She’s been dropping hints for some time now. She knows I think we should wait. There’s no reason for us to rush into it. I’ve told her this the last time and the time before that. Both times, she accused me of not loving her enough. I do love her. There’s no doubt in my mind. I know I’m being hesitant but it’s only because I think that we have a lot of things to figure out before we take the leap. She doesn’t agree with me.
She looks up at me. Her gorgeous blue eyes darker than mine are filled with love . . . and uncertainty. I think it’s the uncertainty that gets me. I never ever want her to doubt my love for her. I promise myself right then that I would make us work no matter what happens.
“There’ll never be anyone else for me too,” I say softly to her. I can feel my heart beating so fast, maybe from excitement or fear, or maybe a little of both.
“Addie,” I murmur, my fingers stroke her blond hair. She knows what I’m about to ask her, and smiles at me encouragingly, her face filled with anticipation. She really is very beautiful. “I want to do this better, and I don’t have a ring.”
She doesn’t interrupt me, waiting for me to go on.
“You are the most important person in my life. I love you and I want to spend my life making you happy. Addison Victoria Walker, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
She squeals in unreserved delight. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” She’s kissing me all over my face, and I hold her to me laughing. “This is perfect. I don’t need an elaborate proposal, I just want you. Only you, baby.”
I kiss her softly on her lips. “We should get you a ring.”
“When?” Seeing Addie looking so happy convinces me that I’m doing the right thing. I meant it when I said I want to make her happy.
“Today.”
And that’s when she starts crying. “Addie . . .” I say softly, concerned that I’ve upset her.
“These are happy tears,” she assures me.
“Okay.” But it makes me uncomfortable to see her cry.
“Julian Ashton Scott, you are the most wonderful man. I don’t know what I would do without you, and I never want to find out. There’s nothing in the world I’ll ever want more than being your wife. I love you so much.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, then hugs me hard. It’s a while before she lets go.
We go ring shopping later that afternoon. Addie wants me to choose the ring. Her only requirement is that the ring has to be simple. Addie grew up very wealthy, and she already has a fortune in the bank thanks to her inheritance from her grandparents, not to mention her trust fund which she hasn’t touched but has access to. So by 'simple', she doesn't actually mean simple. But I understand. She doesn’t want anything large or gaudy.
I buy her a ring with a 5-carat diamond surrounded by a double row of diamonds on a platinum band which she loves, and she cries some more when I slide it into her ring finger.
We invite our parents to dinner the next evening to tell them the good news. Her parents are excited, my parents not so much. I know what they’re thinking – we’re too young, why the rush? My fiancée and her parents don’t notice because my parents cover their concern with smiles but I see it clearly.
I’ve always gotten along with Addie’s parents and they treat me like I’m their son. Although I know they were not pleased when Addie and I chose to move in together, but they decided to accept it for two reasons. The first is Addie was insistent that she would live with me with or without their blessing. She had never defied them and doing that made them realize how important I was to her. The second reason is that they’ve always hoped that Addie and I would end up married, and they felt that this was a step towards it. It helped that Addie told them she wanted to be with me forever.
My parents have to leave early so I walk them out to the car.
“Julian, I know you’re old enough to make decisions without consulting your father and me but don’t you think you need to wait for a few years? Marriage is a huge commitment.” She looks very concerned. I know she thinks Addie and I are making a mistake.
My family likes Addison but I know Mom thinks we aren’t suited. She thinks Addie is lovely but she’s not the one for me. I don’t agree. I do agree somewhat that we could wait a bit to get engaged but Addie is right, why wait?
“Mom, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry. You know we’ve been together for years. I know what I’m doing.”
“You’re both so young. You should be focused on your company,” she says worriedly.
I’ve just started Scott Design, and right now it’s just me and Nadya. We are just about to hire a secretary.
“Mom, we’re adults. We are old enough to get married,” I tell her gently.
“Julian,” she says sadly, shaking her head, “I don’t want to tell you what to do and you know I’ve always liked Addison but I think you’re both making a mistake. She’s not the one for you.”
I’m beginning to feel exasperated. “How do you know that, Mom? I’ve been the one dating her for four years, not you.”
“I don’t want to upset you. I ju
st want you to be happy.” She hesitates then asks, “Are you having a long engagement?”
“No. We want to get married in a few months.” Addie doesn’t want a long engagement.
She looks like she wants to cry but thankfully she doesn’t. I don’t like seeing my mom upset. She’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet. She knows I’ll do almost anything for her but not this. I can’t delay or cancel the wedding. I’ve made a commitment to Addie and I intend to keep it. She’s my future.
She places a hand on my cheek. “I love you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. So of course if this makes you happy, I’ll be supportive.”
“Thanks, Mom. She makes me happy.”
She doesn’t say anything else. Just kisses me on the cheek and slides into the passenger seat of my dad’s Bentley. I close the door. My dad is standing by the driver’s door. He hasn’t said anything since we came outside but he heard every word of my conversation with Mom.
I move to his side.
“Are you sure Addison is who you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
I don’t think I am a hundred percent certain but I figure I would get there in time. I assume it’s normal to feel a bit uncertain considering our lives are about to merge together permanently. The important thing for me is that I love her and I believe that that’s a good foundation to grow from.
“I’m sure.”
My parents have always let me make my own decisions since I turned eighteen and they’ve respected them and supported me. They usually give me their honest opinions on serious issues but they never butt in. It helped that I always made good grades and I never got into any trouble. I was always well-behaved. Sean and Liz too. So they trusted us, and we thankfully never let them down.
“Okay then. Congratulations, son.” He hugs me hard. “Let us know if there’s anything you need, anything at all.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I love my parents. I really do.
“Have you told Liz and Sean?”
“Not yet. I’ll call them tonight.” Liz, I know for sure, will be super excited. She loves Addie. Both of them are very close. Sean is my best friend, and as long as I’m happy, he’s happy.
“Okay. We’ll let you know when we get home.”
“Bye, Dad. Drive safe.”
I watch my parents drive off into the night and turn to go back to my fiancée and soon-to-be in-laws.
We get married four months later on a Friday afternoon in a private garden ceremony surrounded by not more than fifty people. My best friend Sean is my best man, and Addison’s sister, Elle, is her maid of honor.
At the reception, I look at my beautiful and elegant bride in her long, ivory strapless dress and see how happy she is, and I can’t imagine why I ever had any doubts. Addie and I belong together. Forever.
THIRTEEN
Sofia
I open the door to let Julian into my apartment. He’s changed into a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved charcoal V-neck T-shirt. Just the sight of him causes arousal to shoot through me.
“Come on in.”
His eyes rove over me, taking in my appearance. Tonight, I’m thinking easy access so I’m wearing a short shift dress with the fastening at the back, and no underwear. Judging from the way he’s looking at my chest, I know he can clearly see my nipples which are already hard. My breasts are aching for his touch.
“Sofia,” he says softly as he enters into my apartment. “Nice dress. Where do you want these?” he asks and holds up the paper bags with boxes of food.
“On the counter,” I say, walking into the kitchen.
My apartment isn’t big so there isn’t a lot of space in the kitchen, which means that Julian and I are standing quite close to each other. He’s so tall. I stand on tiptoes and kiss him lightly on his lips. “Do you mind if we eat here later . . . when we’re ready to eat?”
“I don’t mind,” he murmurs as his arm circles my waist and melds my body with his. His lips crash down on mine, and he devours my lips. The kiss is wildly passionate sending sparks of fire through me. I never want to stop kissing him. He threads his hand through my hair, holding my head in place. We’re kissing like we’ve been denied each other for so long. His hand moves from my waist, and slides under my dress.
He instantly sucks in a harsh breath. “No panties.”
“I didn’t think I needed any.” I don’t recognize my own voice.
His gaze is burning deep into me. All I want right now is for him to be inside me.
“Turn around,” he orders.
He pulls down the zipper of my dress, and pushes the dress off my shoulders. It falls to my feet. From the corner of my eye, I see his T-shirt land on the floor.
“I might be a little rough,” he says hoarsely in my ear.
“I’d like that,” I respond. I’ll gladly take him any way. My body is already humming with anticipation and need. I’m so hungry and desperate for him, I am barely staying calm.
I hear the sound of buttons popping open, and a foil packet being ripped open.
“Bend over, and brace your hands on the counter. I need you to hold on tight.” I do as he says and also move my legs wider apart as I silently beg him to fuck me. It’s like he can hear my plea because the next thing he does is to slam into me. Hard. I moan loudly, not caring if the entire building hears me. He stills, his grip tight on my hips.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice deeper than I’ve ever heard it. So damn sexy.
“Please . . . Please don't stop,” I beg. He doesn't hesitate. He thrusts into me again and again and again. My body is soaring, exquisite desire flowing through me. I can’t stop moaning. Julian is driving me wild. The ecstatic sounds from our lips are intermingled. His are the sexiest sounds I’ve ever heard. My hands are hanging on tight to the edge of the counter and my toes are curled. I feel tingles all over my body. Waves of intense pleasure surge through me, and my orgasm is coming already.
“Oh god . . . Oh . . . Ohhh . . .” An explosive full-on orgasm hits me. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I am completely overcome with euphoria. When I come back down to earth, I’m unable to do any other thing than to try and get my breath back.
Julian wraps an arm around my waist and squeezes my erect nipple with his other hand. He increases his pace, pumping faster and deeper into me. My body responds immediately, leaping with excitement, and I arch my back more to let him go deeper.
He comes with a loud groan. We stay unmoving for some time, focused on getting our breathing back to normal. My body feels so light and relaxed.
Julian slowly pulls out of me. His cock doesn’t feel entirely soft. He gently turns me around so that I’m facing hm.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He looks concerned. I like it.
Smiling, I shake my head. “It was perfect.” His blue eyes search mine before he lowers his head and kisses me softly on my lips.
“Tired?”
I shake my head again. “No.” I’m far from it. He puts an arm under my legs and the other on my back, and in one smooth movement he lifts me up and carries me to the bedroom. I bury my face in the curve of his neck and hug him tightly. Seconds later, he lays me down gently on the bed but he doesn’t join me. He tugs his jeans off and leaves it on the floor.
“I’ll be right back,” he says and disappears into the bathroom. He comes out with a washcloth. “Open your legs for me.”
What?! No way.
“I’ll just do that by myself in the bathroom. Thank you,” I say primly.
“You don’t have to feel self-conscious. I just want to clean you.” No one’s ever done that for me. “It’ll just take a minute.”
I hesitate. I can’t help it, I am feeling self-conscious, and I feel a flush spreading all over my skin. I’m glad the bedroom light is off, and the only source of illumination is from the passage and the bathroom.
“Sofia?”
I barely look at him as I open my legs. He sits on the bed and puts my leg on his thigh, op
ening me wider. His attention is entirely on the juncture between my thighs. He wipes me down ever so gently with the warm washcloth. When he’s done, he doesn’t stand up. He’s still looking at my exposed sex. It’s difficult to make out what he’s thinking, and I fight the urge to close my legs. Suddenly, he looks up and sees me watching him. He doesn’t say a word, he just gently lifts my leg from his and places it on the bed. He goes back to the bathroom, and I let out the breath I was holding. I wish I was privy to his thoughts. I’d really love to know what was going through his mind.
I’m surprised he chose to clean me up. It was completely unexpected, and although I was feeling uneasy, I liked it. I don't know if he’s going to stay or leave. I hope he stays for a while. I don’t want to let him go just yet.
It seemed like he couldn’t wait to get inside me earlier which makes me think that he may have missed me a little. At least, I hope he did. One thing is certain, I’ll never look at the kitchen counter the same way again. What we did was pretty intense.
Julian comes out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later, and joins me on the bed. We’re facing each other but no one says a word. I’m happy he’s here. It’s different from the last two times when he left too quickly.
“I’m supposed to feed you tonight,” he murmurs.
“I’m not hungry,” I say quickly, unwilling to move an inch. I don’t want to move a muscle so that he doesn’t get up and leave like he usually does. He doesn’t say anything. We lie in silence while he gently strokes my body. He can’t miss the fact that his touch is causing goose bumps to appear on my skin.
“I was in Seattle on Saturday. I came back on Sunday morning,” he says unexpectedly.
“Oh.” That’s all I manage to say. I’m relieved that the only reason he didn’t come over is because he wasn’t in the city. As I lie there with his fingers stroking my hip, it occurs to me that Julian may be ruining me for anyone else. I feel like I’ll always want him. I want more. I know that isn’t what we agreed, and if faced with a choice between what we have now or nothing at all, I’ll gladly take what we have now. But I want more. I want to get to know him better.
