by Maisey Yates
“I took her on a date tonight.” He picked up the glass and knocked back the contents, grimacing as it blazed a trail of fire from his throat to his stomach.
“Yeah, I know, I let you out of here with my car. Wait . . . nothing happened to my car, did it? Is that why you’re drinking? If that’s the problem, get drunker, because I’m going to bust your—”
“Nothing happened to your car.”
“Well.” His brother shifted. “Good.”
“She asked me in.”
“Like she asked you in as in she wanted to offer you coffee? And by that I mean sex.”
“I believe so.”
His brother slapped both hands on the counter. “Then why are you here?”
“I said no.”
“Why?” He looked almost comically incredulous. As if the idea of refusing sex had never occurred to him as a possibility.
“She’s pregnant with my baby.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So casual sex is out of the question. If we sleep together and things go south we’re introducing a whole lot of crap into the mix that we don’t need.”
“I don’t see how sex could screw things up.”
“Because you don’t stay long enough to talk to a girl after you screw her, that’s why you think that. I happen to have experience with relationships. And they aren’t easy.”
“Sex doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship, does it? If so, I need to make a call.”
“Stop bullshitting for a second, will you?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“I have to figure out how to . . . make this work. We have to share custody of this kid, and I want to be involved. I’m not going to let the whole thing fall down around me because I let my dick do the thinking.”
“Not that uncommon, is it?”
Cole shook his head. “Not at all.”
Cade frowned and took a drink of his whiskey, his expression turning serious. “You’re after a guarantee, Cole, but you aren’t going to get it. You can’t tell what’s going to happen. You can’t see into the future.”
“I of all people know that. Life has thrown me enough crap out of nowhere that I’ve given up guessing what might happen next.” Still, Cade’s warning hit close to home. Maybe he wasn’t after a guarantee, but a little bit of control would be nice.
“The only way to secure things is—well, hell, you’d have to marry her. Then at least she’d be stuck with you. And you could get some too.”
His brother’s tone was light, as though he were making the world’s most ridiculous suggestion. Cole wasn’t so sure.
“Marriage vows can be broken,” he said.
Cade shrugged. “Not as simple with a kid.”
No. No, it wasn’t. And the alternative was separate lives. A child who would never know a united family. It made marriage seem not quite so scary.
“I . . . I could ask her to marry me.”
Cade’s eyes widened. “I know you aren’t drunk yet; you barely touched your whiskey. What are you saying?”
“That I could ask her to marry me.”
“Why?”
“I think that’s pretty obvious. She’s pregnant with my baby.”
“But you don’t even know her, you dumbass.”
“Wouldn’t you ask a woman to marry you if you got her pregnant?”
Cade shrugged. “I don’t know. Yeah, I probably would. But only because if I got a woman pregnant, I would feel responsible. You shouldn’t feel responsible. You didn’t get her pregnant. Maybe the doctor at the lab should propose to her.”
“That was my justification for not asking from moment one, but the thing that’s starting to get harder and harder to ignore is that no matter how she got pregnant, the results will be the same. She’s having my baby. It doesn’t really matter how.”
Cade shook his head before knocking back his own drink. “I don’t know, man. Marriage . . . marriage.”
“I know.”
“You really want another wife? I’d call Shawna a bitch, but it’s insulting to dogs everywhere.”
“Really? Marriage scares the hell out of me. Shawna was . . . It was a disaster. My marriage was horrible, and the marriage I held up as the gold standard was a lie. But Shawna and Kelsey are nothing alike. I was stupid over that woman because I was nuts for her. Kelsey . . . I like her, I’m attracted to her, but it’s not stupid like it was with Shawna. And I want Kelsey to be with me, especially now. I want the baby to be with me when he’s born. I can’t just leave the ranch. There’s always work to do. And she can’t come back and forth all the time.”
“Why can’t she? She’s not having any trouble taking as much time off as she needs to be here.”
“Well, she works from home. But she has a home. Not everyone’s comfortable living out of a suitcase.”
“I prefer it,” Cade said, eyeing the bottle. “One more?”
“One more.” He held his glass up and Cade accommodated him.
“So you’d rather get married than work out shared custody?”
“I’d rather have an intact family than a scattered one,” he said. He swallowed the new whiskey, biting his lip as it went down.
“But a lot of people just deal with it.”
“Sure. And some people are like Dad, and they say one thing, even maybe believe it, but they don’t back it up.” He let out a breath. “Dad had a kid he never saw, Cade. Ever. What if that happens? What if Kelsey marries someone else? Has more kids. What if I do? And it leaves this one in limbo. With nothing. The thought of that . . . I can’t do that. The Shawna thing, this stuff with Dad, it kinda messed me up, but I think I still assumed deep down I’d have a family someday.”
“I don’t think that,” Cade said.
“You didn’t think that I would, or that you would?”
“Me. I don’t think I’d make a great family man. I always thought you would. You’ve taken great care of Lark. And if you can deal with a teenage girl, I have no doubt you’ll do fine with a baby.”
Cole sighed. The liquor had only increased the slight melancholy he felt. “Maybe it’s not an ideal solution. But the alternative isn’t ideal either. Maybe asking her to marry me is my best option.”
“Then you’ll have a wife and a baby to deal with.”
Cole nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“Don’t do it just because you want to . . . do it with her. If you want to have sex, fine, but that’s no reason to go and get married.”
“That’s not why, Cade. I’ve made that mistake. This is deeper than that. Bigger. And yeah, I mean, attraction figures in, but . . . mainly . . . this whole thing is a complicated mess, and the more we build lives apart from each other the more complicated it will be. If I marry her? In my head, it just makes everything make a lot more sense.”
“Does anything scare you, Cole?” Cade asked, suddenly serious. The liquor must have gone to his head too.
“Yeah. A lot of things. I just do them all anyway.”
Cade nodded slowly, put his glass on the counter and walked out of the room.
***
“I have a doctor appointment,” Kelsey said. She leaned against the marble bar in the lodge’s common area, her face pale, her hair pulled back into a ponytail.
“Here?” Cole asked.
She nodded. “I went ahead and made it yesterday, after we talked. I decided that I should have someone in Silver Creek. Since I’m staying here for . . . a while longer.” She looked away when she said that, clearly unwilling to specify a time frame. Or say anything that might be misconstrued as a commitment.
“Not a bad idea.”
“I thought you should come. I just . . . I know you want to be involved.”
“I appreciate that.” He found he was more than willing. Especially since he’d gotten the marriage idea in his head. He wanted to spend more time with her. Wanted to seem more like a couple.
He was test-driving it, which shamed him a little bit. He should be able to j
ust do it. He felt like it was the right thing, the best thing. He swallowed, his throat suddenly tight. Of course it was the right thing.
“I bet it’s too much to ask to take the sports car again?” she asked, the hopeful tone of her voice dragging a slight laugh out of him. “I think every woman deserves to have an OB appointment in style. In exchange for open-backed gowns and . . . stirrups.”
“Not the kind you use for horse riding?”
“No.”
“I doubt Cade will relinquish it again so soon. He has to do a twelve-point inspection on it and make sure we didn’t do any damage while driving it last night.”
She grimaced. “Too bad. We can drive my car.”
“You don’t want to go in the truck?”
“Hmm . . . not really.”
“All right, fair enough. When do you need to leave?”
“An hour.”
He nodded slowly, a strange squeezing sensation in his chest. “I’ll see you then.”
Chapter Fifteen
Cole waited outside during the beginning of the exam. The part that dealt with internal examinations and other things she really didn’t want him privy to. For the last part she was able to minimize the embarrassment of the hospital gown by putting her jeans back on, with the fly opened and rolled down, the gown pulled up over her stomach.
Cole walked in slowly, the expression on his face almost comical. She would have laughed if she hadn’t felt just as nervous.
Dr. Long greeted Cole with a smile and shook his hand. She seemed to know Cole too. Everyone here seemed to know him. Kelsey thanked God for laws prohibiting doctors from spreading information about patients. The woman took a bottle of gel from a warmer on the counter and squirted the substance onto Kelsey’s stomach. “We’re going to do use the Doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat today,” Dr. Long said.
“Have you done this before?” Cole asked. He looked a little pale.
Kelsey shook her head. “No. The only time I went to the doctor was to confirm the pregnancy and check viability, but it was too soon to hear anything. I took like . . . four tests before I went. Just to be sure.”
He laughed, some of his nerves seeming to dissipate at her admission. “What?” she said. “I had to know.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“Then the vomiting started and I was very sure.”
That earned her a laugh from both Cole and the doctor.
Dr. Long put the Doppler on Kelsey’s stomach and started moving it slowly. It was quiet in the room. Kelsey held her breath, waiting for a sound. For something. The silence seemed endless, dread filling her as it stretched on, nothing more than a faint, crackling, watery sound.
Then the doctor found it. The sound, like wind through a tunnel, beating a steady rhythm, filled the room.
Kelsey giggled, a nervous bubble that climbed her throat and escaped her lips. She’d never heard anything so incredible. “It’s so fast.”
“It’s perfectly normal,” Dr. Long said.
Kelsey looked up at Cole. He looked like he’d been hit with a two-by-four. “That’s the heartbeat?” he asked.
“That’s the heartbeat,” Dr. Long said.
Too soon, she removed the Doppler and wiped the gel from Kelsey’s stomach. “Everything looks good, Kelsey. I’ll see you back here next month. Make an appointment out front before you go.” She smiled and left, but not before offering Cole a quick pat on the shoulder.
Kelsey rolled into a sitting position, letting the hospital gown fall down over her stomach. “Wow,” she said.
“Yeah. That makes it feel . . .”
“Much more real,” she said. “Much more.”
“His heart is beating,” Cole said. “We could hear it. He’s really there.” He just stood there for a moment before shaking his head. “I’ll go . . . I’ll let you get dressed.”
She waved a hand and slid off the table. “It’s fine. Just turn around for a minute.”
He obeyed and she bent down, collecting her top and shrugging her shoulders, letting the hospital gown fall to the floor.
She picked her bra up and slipped it on. “I’m glad you came,” she said.
“Me too.”
She took her shirt from the floor and pulled it over her head, her stomach still tacky and a little bit cold from the gel. She snapped her jeans and turned around. Cole was facing away from her, just as she’d asked. Ever the gentleman.
Her mind flashed back to the kiss they’d shared the night before. Ever the gentleman, except when he wasn’t. She liked it better when he wasn’t. It was easy to remember the feel of his hands, rough and masculine on her skin. Yes, she liked that Cole better.
“I’m ready.”
He turned and faced her. The impact of his sex appeal seemed more pronounced now. Maybe because she felt scrungy, while he was looking amazing in his cowboy hat, snug jeans and black t-shirt.
“Do you want to go walk with me for a while?” he asked.
“Where?”
He shrugged. “Somewhere.”
“Well, how can I resist?”
They walked out of the exam room, and Kelsey deliberately avoided the front desk. She didn’t know if she’d be staying long enough to make another appointment. She had no idea what she was going to do.
The small clinic was set just outside of town, next to the creek, with a path winding around the building and around behind it, following the line of the water.
Cole’s heart kicked into gear. Pounding hard, fast. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so nervous. Maybe not since he was waiting to get confirmation on whether or not the man in Portland who ran up those debts was really the same man he called “Dad.”
That had been out of his hands. Something he had no control over. Here—here he had the control. There was no waffling. No room for nerves.
Hearing the heartbeat, his baby’s heartbeat—it had made the decision for him.
“Kelsey . . . that was amazing,” he said, opting for unguarded honesty. To let her see how much it meant to him.
She smiled; the first smile he’d seen on her face that wasn’t tinged with worry, or sickness, or sadness. Just pure joy. He was certain he’d never seen a more beautiful woman. That made his next move easier, in some ways.
“It was,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more connected to it all. To the baby. He’s really there.” She looked like she might cry now, and he wasn’t sure that was in his best interest.
“It made it more real for me too,” he said, again going with honesty. “And it made me think about how hard it would to be . . . hours away from you. While you’re going through this. When the baby is born. To be away from him.”
“We don’t know it’s a him,” she said, neatly sidestepping his comments. He wasn’t going to allow it.
“No, we don’t.” His throat tightened; the thought of a little girl was somehow even more . . . striking in that moment. “If it’s a girl . . . I’d still miss her.”
“We’ll figure something out. We will.” She put her hand on his arm, and a shot of electricity jolted him, from his arm straight down to his groin.
Good thing he had it worked out. He cleared his throat. “I’m sure we will.”
She took her hand away as suddenly as she’d touched him, and he felt cold where her fingers had rested. “This could have been the nightmare from hell, and surprisingly, it’s been okay.”
He frowned. “It’s not that surprising, is it?”
“Yeah, it is. Random guy shows up informing you you’re pregnant with his baby? That could be scary. We’re lucky in our freakish circumstances, I guess.” She smiled again, and the expression on her face effectively stalled the words he’d been about to speak.
He didn’t want to do anything to erase the smile.
“I would say so.”
“Want to grab some lunch?”
“That sounds good.”
The proposal could wait until later.
Ch
apter Sixteen
Cole looked at the ring, nestled in the wooden box, surrounded by tissue paper. Not the most elegant place for a wedding ring to be stored—but the ring itself was perfection.
His mother’s ring.
Strange, but it was the one he wanted to give her. Not because his parents’ marriage had been so great. But because it meant something to him. It was something he hadn’t offered Shawna. It was something she would have spit like a cat about if she had discovered its existence, and discovered that he hadn’t, even for one moment, thought of putting it on her finger.
But this was different. Kelsey was different. He was making a family with her, and that was what the ring mean to him. More than asking her to be his wife, he wanted to make her a part of his family.
He didn’t need love from her. He didn’t even want it. Security and commitment were much more important. Much more permanent. His child would have rights to the ranch, real, familial rights, that his half sister had been cut out of.
He would do it right. He would be committed. A man of his word. The man his father hadn’t been. Family was what mattered; the most important thing in the world. No child of his would ever feel locked out of the family they should have.
But first, he had to talk to Lark.
He knocked on his sister’s door and received a muted grunt in response that he was sure signaled permission for him to come in.
He opened the door and stepped in. Lark was sitting at her computer, leaning forward so that she was way too close to the screen.
“Hey, can I talk to you?” he asked.
She turned to look at him for the first time, her expression unbelievably sad for a moment before she remembered to smile. “Sure.”
“I can wait until another time.”
“I’m fine,” she said, the lie so obvious that they were both aware of it.
“So . . . I wanted to ask you about mom’s rings.” He held the box out and showed his sister the platinum band and the solitaire engagement ring.
“What about them?”
“I’m going to ask Kelsey to marry me. I wouldn’t feel right about offering her the rings without talking to you first, because . . . I thought you might want them.”
