by Maisey Yates
“Are you worried you won’t love the baby?”
Cole frowned. “No.” He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t worried; he just wasn’t. He’d felt an attachment, almost supernatural in strength, from the moment he’d fount out about Kelsey and the baby. He hadn’t been able to walk away, not from moment one.
“Well, maybe you aren’t quite as hopeless as you think.”
“Maybe.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“It doesn’t matter. The love thing doesn’t matter. I just want to do what’s right. That has to be enough. She won’t let me.”
Cade shifted the weight from his bad leg. “She doesn’t think it’s right. She’s not a pushover. That’s what you need, man.”
“I don’t need her. That’s not the point. She needs me. And anyway, if she gets her way, I’m not going to have her.” Except he could have had her in bed today, could have taken care of the physical desire he had for her. But that wasn’t enough with her. Because of the baby. Just because of the baby.
“If you say so. You have to decide if you’re willing to try and have her on her terms, even if you screw it up. Or if you’re going to stick to yours.” Cade shrugged and turned away.
“When did you turn into some relationship guru?”
Cade turned back to him. “I’m good at breaking them up. It seems like if I give the opposite advice to what I do, I might be able to help you keep this one together.”
He flashed back to their time in the bedroom. “We don’t have a relationship.”
“Because you’re doing the wrong things.” Cade frowned. “Stop doing the wrong things.”
“Great. Good plan.”
“I thought so.” He went back into the house and left Cole standing there. The bucket of water still seemed like a good idea. But it would only help ease the heat in his body. It wouldn’t deal with the turmoil that was swirling in his chest.
Which meant he should probably just work until he was too exhausted to think. He let out a breath and headed to the paddocks.
***
It was dark when Kelsey emerged from her room. She’d managed to avoid Cole for the rest of the day while she’d considered her next move.
She couldn’t think too far into the future. She knew that much. She also couldn’t just be his friend. She couldn’t forget that he’d touched her, kissed her, held her naked body against his clothed one. There was just no way.
For her, the line had been crossed already. It had been such a slow crossing that she hadn’t realized it until she’d been way on the other side of the line. Too far over to go back.
So the only logical solution she could think of was to take things to their conclusion. And that would require him losing his mind, losing his control, even if it was only temporary. Which was her intent tonight.
Maybe the best thing to do was to just do it. Get it over with. If they were fighting a losing battle, getting the drama out now might be the only thing to do.
You’re just horny. You’re using horny logic.
She pushed that snarky voice aside. If it was going to happen, better it happen now. Early. Lots of time to recover from it all. Yes, that was it.
“Third room on the left,” she whispered as she padded down the dim hallway.
She would die of embarrassment if she snuck into Cade’s room. Or, worse, Lark’s room. At least Cade would just laugh it off. Lark would look at her like the horrified virgin that she undoubtedly was and shriek with offended morality when she found out Kelsey had been intending to seduce Cole.
Oh, was she really going to seduce him? She paused mid-step, worrying her lip between her teeth. She’d never seduced anyone in her life. She wasn’t really seductress material. The best she’d ever gotten was that she was cute. And that wasn’t really good enough when you were aiming for making a man lose every last bit of resistance.
“Just get over yourself,” she whispered, starting to walk again.
Her heart pounded harder when she reached Cole’s door. She took in a breath and wrapped her hand around the doorknob. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. But naked.
She turned it quickly and opened the door, stepping into the room and shutting it silently behind her. She leaned against the wooden frame, hoping he couldn’t hear her heartbeat in the silence of the room.
He was lying in bed, his arm thrown up over his face, the covers riding low on his hips, dangerously close to giving away the secret of whether he wore boxers, briefs or nothing.
She didn’t even feel guilty that she hoped it was nothing.
“Cole,” she said, the word coming out a voiceless whisper. He didn’t move. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Cole . . . are you asleep?”
He made a grunting sound and rolled over. “What?”
“Are you asleep?”
He pushed up into a sitting position. “I’m not now. Kelsey?”
“Yes. Unless . . . You weren’t expecting another woman to sneak into your room in the middle of the night, were you?”
He laughed. “Uh . . . no. Can’t say that I was. But then, I wasn’t exactly expecting you, either.”
“Good. I live to be unexpected.”
“I’ve noticed.”
She took a deep breath, and a step toward his bed. “I have a little bit of a problem.”
“What’s that?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Well”—she took another step toward his bed—“you’re about the most entitled, autocratic man I’ve ever met. You think you can seduce me into marrying you. You think your way of doing things is the only way of doing things and that I should just fall into line.”
“You’re no different.”
She took another step. “I admit, I can be stubborn. But you shouldn’t get to make all the decisions.” She came to the edge of the bed and leaned forward, resting her knee on the edge of the mattress. “It’s not all about you, you know.”
She exhaled the breath she’d been holding and put her hand on his shoulder, sliding further onto the bed so that both knees were on the mattress. “And it wouldn’t kill you to loosen up a little bit.”
Cole’s face was hidden in shadow, but the moonlight filtering through the window let her see impressions of his expression: the glitter in his dark eyes, tension in his mouth. He was frozen, his muscles tense beneath her hand.
He was like living stone, hot but completely solid, uncompromising.
“Cole,” she whispered, leaning forward, “this isn’t loosening up.”
He lifted his hand and placed it on her hip. She wanted to whimper with relief. He wasn’t pushing her off the bed. And he hadn’t proposed. So things were going well.
“I’m out of practice,” she said, her voice shaky.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He was still beneath her mouth for a moment before he opened for her, letting her explore him, taste him. When he slid his tongue past her lips, she sucked it, and both his hands came up to grip her hard at the hips.
Any semblance of passivity ended there. He straightened, wrapping his arms around her, drawing her tight against his body. She could feel his heat, and she was pretty sure he was naked beneath the sheet. The thought made her dizzy with desire. She wanted him so much, more than she could remember wanting anything. Sex or chocolate. His mouth was rough on hers. He didn’t ask; he took. And she loved it. This wasn’t a controlled burn. This was the wildfire she’d been waiting for. The one she’d been certain existed beneath all that rigid self-restraint.
He pushed her robe off of her shoulders and wasted no time tugging her flimsy nightgown over her head. She was thankful that she’d remembered to put on a pair of sexy underwear before she’d made her trek down the hall, because it was all she had on now.
He slid his hands down her back, kneading her bottom. If there had ever, in the world, been anything better than the feeling of his rough hands on her sensitive skin, she couldn’t remember it.
“Oh, yes,” she said against his lips.
He chuckled and tightened his hold on her. She shrieked as she found herself deposited on her back, Cole positioned above her, a feral grin on his face. She couldn’t help but smile in return.
She moved her hands over his arms, then down his back, putting her hands on his bare, muscular butt. “Very nice,” she said.
“I’m out of practice too,” he said, his voice sounding ragged. Out of breath.
“That’s okay. If it’s quick, it works for me. I’m used to quick. And anyway, I’m on edge.”
“Oh, no,” he said, “this isn’t going to be quick. I’m going to take my time.” Some of the playfulness left his expression. “I should stop.” He let the back of his hand drift over the curve of her breast. He closed his eyes. “I should. But I can’t. Not now.”
“Good. I think I would die if you stopped. Well, maybe not die, but burst into flames.”
That brought his smile back. “We can’t have that.”
He lowered his head and ran the flat of his tongue over her nipple before drawing it into his mouth. She grabbed the back of his head, holding him to her, only releasing him to allow him to give the other breast the same attention.
“Five years,” he growled. “Way too long.” He pressed an openmouthed kiss to the valley between her breasts, then lower, the tip of his tongue tracing a line down to her belly button. His hands skimmed her back as he traveled down her body, rough palms gripping her hips tight, holding her in place as he kissed her just above the waistband of her underwear.
“Oh yes, please,” she said, closing her eyes tight.
“You don’t have to ask twice,” he said, hooking his fingers in the sides of her panties and dragging them down her legs.
He cursed, short and sharp and crude. And she liked it.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, leaning in, kissing her inner thigh. She should be embarrassed. Or something. Only one man had ever seen her naked, and he’d never been that interested in looking at her too closely. It was dark, but Cole’s attention was definitely on a very intimate part of her, fully and completely.
She wasn’t embarrassed though. Not at all. She was just excited, shaking with anticipation, wondering what would happen next. He was clearly a lot more experienced at this than she was. And she was ready for him to show her everything she had left to learn.
He moved his hand between her thighs. An involuntary whimper escaped her lips as he slid one finger inside of her, then two, drawing the moisture up to her clitoris, sending a shot of heat and pleasure through her body.
He lowered his head again, his lips on her thigh, then on her clit. She let her head fall back, her hands grasping for something, anything, to hold onto. She gripped the sheet, hard, her fingernails pushing against the thin fabric, digging into her palms, as Cole continued to lavish attention on her.
He held her hips, his tongue and lips working magic on her. He was relentless, in the very best way. And there was no control. Not for him, and definitely not for her. She couldn’t think; she could hardly breathe. There was nothing else, only this, only Cole and what he was making her feel.
He released his hold on her, moving his hand down and sliding a finger back inside of her as he continue to move his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.
Everything in her tightened, and for one moment, she was sure she couldn’t handle any more. Was certain there was no way her body could contain all of the sensation that was rioting through it.
Then it all released, pleasure pouring through her in waves. When it was over she was spent, panting.
Cole moved to lie beside her, kissing her deeply on the mouth, his hands drifting over her curves. She could feel his erection pressing against her stomach, hard and hot, a reminder that while she had been satisfied, he hadn’t been.
“I’ve never done that before,” she said, dazed.
“What?”
“I’ve never had a man . . . do that for me.”
“Oh, baby, you know stupid men. You make it sound like it was only for you,” he said. He took her hand in his and guided it down to his cock. “I enjoyed it.”
She wrapped her hand around him and squeezed him gently. “I can feel that.”
He groaned and kissed her again. She’d thought she was satisfied by her earlier orgasm. She’d thought it would take her days to be able to be aroused again. After all, a woman could only take so much.
But she’d underestimated Cole. And herself. She wanted more already, wanted everything. With him. As soon as possible.
His hands shook as he brushed her hair back from her face. A rush of power filled her. Cole was a rock. And he was shaken. Because of her.
She put her hands on his shoulders and urged him closer to her. She parted her thighs and he settled between them, the head of his shaft testing the entrance to her body.
“I’m ready,” she said, putting her hands on his butt and guiding him into her.
He filled her, stretched her. It was so much better than she remembered. Probably because it was better than it ever had been. He thrusted hard, grunting as he entered her to the hilt. She wrapped her legs around his calves, holding him hard against her.
He pressed a kiss to her neck, her collarbone, unsteady fingers lacing through her hair. “This was worth waiting for,” he said.
“I agree.”
He started to move inside of her, his action measured, controlled. It wasn’t what she wanted. Not now. Not when they’d come so far together.
“Come on, Cole,” she said. “Don’t hold back.”
He seemed to take it as a challenge, his tempo increasing, his thrusts less careful, harder.
“Yes,” she said. “Like that.” She’d never asked for what she’d wanted before. She’d never felt brave enough. Had always been afraid it would be rejected. She wasn’t afraid of it now. She didn’t have any room for fear, no space for insecurity.
There was only the deep, driving need inside of her, to have satisfaction. To have all of Cole. She flexed her hips, rising up to meet him, bringing her clit up against him, sending sparks of sensation along her nerves, the familiar, tightening sensation starting low in her pelvis.
Kelsey met him thrust for thrust, each meeting of their bodies bringing her closer to the peak. She gripped his shoulders tight, her fingernails digging into his skin. He didn’t seem to mind.
When his control slipped entirely, when he gave over to his need, the same blinding need that filled her, she knew it. Could feel it, in the raging of his heart, in the shortness of his breath.
His pace quickened, the muscles in his arms shaking. And she clung to him, riding out the storm with him. Her orgasm crashed over her and she bit down on his shoulder, unable to hold back the groan that had climbed her throat.
He thrust hard into her one last time, freezing above her as he found his own pleasure.
She pulled him down against her, holding him to her. His back was slick with sweat, his breathing heavy. She closed her eyes, and she felt like she was falling.
A lump of emotion swelled in her chest. Impossible to ignore, impossible to identify.
She tried to speak, but couldn’t. She couldn’t form a thought, much less a word. She didn’t have words for what had just happened between them.
Her mind was a fuzzy, pleasant blank. Reality was trying to intrude, but she wasn’t letting it. She was deliberately ignoring reality, even as it pressed in on her pleasant, post-orgasm haze.
One thing she wasn’t going to do was remember her adamant statement that she could have sex with him and leave it at just sex.
She wasn’t going to think about how close she felt to him. How much she wanted to hold him all night.
No. She wasn’t going to think about any of that. Not right now.
Chapter Twenty
Cole couldn’t catch his breath. His body felt like it was on fire, his heart ready to burst from his chest. Five years of abstinence was a long time. And having it come to an end like that, wit
h the best sex of his life, made it hard to do normal things like think and breathe.
It wasn’t just the long time without that had made it so good. He hadn’t forgotten what sex was like. He was a man, he remembered every woman, every time. Nothing had ever been like this.
She was intoxicating. Her smell, her taste, the feel of her tight, wet heat around his cock. He felt his body stir again at the thought. He wanted her again.
But Kelsey was asleep, her face resting against his shoulders, breasts pressed tightly against his chest. He moved his hand over the indent of her waist, down the the curve of her hip. She was so smooth, soft as silk. And he was so hard he was sure he was going to explode.
He groaned and tightened his hold on her, dropping a kiss onto her head.
He tried not to think of how badly they might have messed things up. He was willing to marry her, that much he’d decided, but he hadn’t agreed to the strange, overpowering feeling of possessiveness that was roaring through him. This wasn’t something he’d counted on. He’d done the nuts-out-of-his-mind-for-love thing. It was something he never wanted to repeat again. Something he never would. Because that only ended in fighting and pain and the loss of your mother’s quilts.
All right, he knew it wasn’t that way for everyone. But after Shawna, if he could have gone out into the shop and cut whatever part of his heart out that had ever been there for the purpose of loving a woman with a jigsaw, he would have done it. Failing that, he’d just choked it off. He was too cynical to feel it again. More to the point, he didn’t want to feel it.
That was what concerned him. Because Kelsey was all heart and emotion. She might think she was hard and world-weary, but she just wasn’t. If Kelsey loved someone, she would do it with her whole heart. And he didn’t have his whole heart left to give. It was too chewed up. Had been stomped on too many times.
The moonlight illuminated Kelsey’s face, casting a glow on her cheek, her lashes pale and glistening.
