At least that’s what my irrational mind kept telling me.
Sure, James was a killer, but he had also saved me.
The hot water rushed over my body, flushing out what remained of the scrapes on my arms and legs. Just hours before there had been bone showing through one of those spots. James’s blood was a thing of miracles and yet, it had been the reason for the downfall of life.
A tap sounded on the bathroom door and then I heard James’s voice cut through the sound of the falling water around me.
His voice was gentle and soothing as if he were trying to make amends for what a creature of his race had done to me.
How could one vampire be semi-caring and honestly quite beautiful to look at and yet another be so vile and cruel?
Was James playing with me?
Had he been truly defending me against the other vampire?
Or did he kill the other vampire because the other wanted to play with his toy?
I felt like a plaything in some ways.
But James seemed so genuine.
It was all so confusing.
I turned off the water and dried myself before dressing in yet another pair of his shorts and a plain white tee. Part of me wished there was something close to my size to wear, but at the same time wearing his clothes gave me a sense of protection. His clothing felt like a shield. Even though a vampire had shredded my shield earlier in the night, they were still comforting.
It made no sense to me and I certainly couldn’t explain it to myself, but I felt safe wrapped in James.
Even if it was just his clothes.
The soup he fed me tasted stale, but it was hot and filling and I appreciated it just the same. For a girl who had nothing just days before I was ever so grateful for baggy clean clothes and stale soup. They were the best things I had in a long while.
As I sipped the hot liquid and soothed the hungry ache in my stomach, James stood from the table and pushed his chair in.
“I’m going to go shower. Don’t wander. I haven’t seen anyone else around here, but I can’t promise it’s safe. Your safety is the most important thing.”
His face hardened as if he said too much.
“Why?”
“Why what?” he asked, even though I was sure he knew what I was asking.
“Why is my safety so important? I’m just food to you, right? Why do you care so much about whether I live or die?”
He looked away, aggravation lining his lips as he shook his head.
“Why can’t you just accept my help without any questions?”
“Because it doesn’t make sense to me… none of it does.”
He looked back at me, his eyes sliding over my face as if he were memorizing me. Then the side of his mouth lifted in his sly smile I was beginning to like.
“Maybe I’m just fattening you up for good eating later? Ever think of that?”
At those words, I laughed.
My stomach shook with the laughter and I threw my head back feeling lighter than I had since my little brother was still with me.
I looked up just in time to see his tiny smirk grow into a remarkable smile.
It changed him completely and briefly I could see the man he used to be.
Before his death.
Before the fangs.
He was so handsome and yet he was poisonous.
The temptation.
The apple.
So bad for me in so many ways, but that didn’t mean I didn’t gravitate toward him.
As quickly as the smile came, it disappeared.
“Well, then by all means,” I said, motioning to the bowl of soup in front of me. “Feed me and fatten me up. If I’m going to die soon, I want to eat and drink my fill and enjoy every single second I have left.”
He shook his head as I lifted my spoon and began to sip my soup once again.
“Stay put,” he said before he turned away and started toward the bathroom at the end of the hallway.
“Yes, sir,” I called behind him.
Soon after he left me I heard the shower water turn on and the door to the bathroom click closed.
I lost track of time as I finished every drop of my soup, and once I was done, I downed an entire glass of water. My stomach extended and I patted it happily, feeling satisfied and knowing that one day soon I may not be able to fill myself that way again.
Nothing was permanent in my world.
Putting my bowl on the counter beside the sink, I decided to explore my surroundings.
I pulled back a yellowing curtain at the kitchen window to find it covered. It seemed all the windows were covered completely by a black material that was hard to the touch and mounted into place. I tugged on the covering over the kitchen window and checked to see if escaping this place was more of a possibility than escaping the condo, which was several stories off the ground and had limited windows.
The coverings weren’t budging, and as I tugged yet again, a thought came to mind.
Why was I even checking?
I was living better than I had in my entire life.
I wasn’t going to run unless I absolutely had to.
And the truth was I was safer with James than I was out in the open.
Sure, he might one day cave to his hunger and craving for my blood, but I already knew my days were numbered. I might as well enjoy life a little before I go.
Just outside the window, I could hear the birds beginning to chirp, letting me know dawn had arrived. I yawned, feeling tired and ready for bed with the sun.
It was strange, but I was slowly becoming a night person. I was wide awake most of the night and ready to sleep the day away. I guessed that happened when you basically lived with a vampire. He kept me up all night and I got so bored during the day while he slept that I slept, as well.
I moved through the kitchen, looking at the appliances and things similar to the things in James’s condo, but it was obvious the cabin was much older and so were the things inside. Everything had a yellowed touch, while the things in James’s apartment sparkled with newness.
Moving into the living space, I ran my fingers over the television, which wasn’t flat like the one in James’s living room, but a large box sitting on top of a table. I had never watched television before staying with James. I had heard of it, but it was truly amazing to watch. Seeing what the world was before the takeover was something not many humans my age ever had the chance to see. I assumed anyway. Honestly, I had never met another human my age.
Beside the television was another box. It wasn’t as tall as the television and laid flat on the table top. Centering the top of the large box was a black circle.
I pressed my fingers against the flat round circle and pushed it, making it spin. I was usually good at figuring out the uses of the things I had found before, but I had no idea what the item was. All I knew was it had buttons on it and a tiny red light just above the largest of the buttons.
I moved my finger toward the button, ready to push it and see what the box did, but before I could touch it, James spoke at my side.
“It’s a record player,” he said, making me jump.
“Stop freaking doing that,” I said, covering my pounding heart.
“Sorry. I forget how quietly I move.” He stepped closer to me, pressing a button on the box I was admiring and the red light turned green.
“What does it do?”
His eyes moved over my face and his mouth popped open just a bit.
“I forget how much you don’t know.” He bent over, pulling open a cabinet beneath the television and the thing he called a record player, and he pulled out a black, flat, round item. “It plays music. Want to hear?”
Music.
I’d heard my mother sing many times.
Once we had ended up with another group of survivors and one of the men in the group, a man everyone called Toby had played the guitar for everyone with the sun high in the sky.
It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
>
Unfortunately, Toby was murdered three days later and his guitar had been destroyed.
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
“This is the record,” he explained, holding up it up.
Then he set the record on top of the record player and pulled at a little arm with a pointed needle on the end until the tiny needle landed on the circling record.
There were a few tiny popping noises and then suddenly music began to play, filling the small space with a sound so beautiful chills covered my body. I looked up at James, my eyes wide with wonder, and I covered my smiling lips with the palm of my hand.
He smiled. “Do you like it?”
I nodded, feeling my happiness turn into something much larger; something that pushed at the soul inside of me. I thought about my mother’s voice when she sang and how beautiful and soothing the sound was. I remembered the day we sat in the sun with strangers and listened as a man strummed his guitar. We were all so happy at that moment, and now… well, there was no one else.
Just me.
Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away.
“It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”
The music continued, and a man with a deep, soulful voice sang about the fact that he couldn’t help falling in love.
“His voice… it’s so…”
I couldn’t think of the words to describe it. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard.
James chuckled. “It’s Elvis Presley, and many women would agree with you.”
“Elvis Presley,” I repeated the name I’d never heard. “Is he a vampire?”
At that, James laughed, and the sound surprised me.
He shook his head. “No. Elvis died many years ago. Before the world became what it is now. He sang for millions and had hundreds of songs.”
I gasped. “You mean there’s more?”
“Harley, there were many singers over the years. There was once so much music in the world that you could listen to it all day every day and probably still never hear every single song.”
“I like it. No. I love it. I love music.”
His smile was soft and his eyes were searching.
“Would you like to dance?”
I frowned. “Dance?”
“It’s what you do when there’s music playing? Haven’t you ever seen anyone dance?”
I thought about when Toby would play, and faintly remembered the couples that would stand close, their bodies swaying softly to the music, but I never knew what they were doing had a name.
“I don’t know how.”
His eyes crinkled a bit with his smile. He seemed to smile more since we arrived at the cabin.
“I could teach you. Would you like that?”
I nodded, feeling unsure of myself. “I think so. Maybe. I’m not sure.”
He chuckled and then shifted, his hands closing around my forearms and moving me toward the center of the room. With his foot, he pushed the small table out of the way with a single push.
“Your hands go here.” As he talked, he repositioned my arms until both of my palms rested on his shoulders. “My hands go around your waist.”
He didn’t move immediately and I when I looked up, I realized he was waiting for my approval. “Okay.” I nodded giving him the permission he wanted.
Then his long fingers wrapped around my waist, sending a thrilling feeling spiraling throughout my body.
“Now, we just move to the rhythm. I’ll lead,” he said as if I knew what that meant or what to do had he not offered.
He began to move us slowly, and my eyes watched his. It took me a couple of minutes to get the hang of it, but eventually, I stopped tripping over our feet. We moved more swiftly, more confidently. If I had thought music was the most wonderful thing in the world, I was totally wrong.
Dancing was amazing.
Dancing with James was more than I could put into words.
“Where did you learn to do this?” I asked as he led me around the small room once again.
“In my day, everyone danced. I wasn’t very good back then, but I’ve had a ton of time to perfect it.”
I thought about that.
James had lived a very nice life; one without worrying about being hunted every day. He enjoyed luxuries like showers, music, and dancing.
Things would have been much different had I been allowed those things in my life.
“I find it hard to imagine vampires dancing around like this.” I laughed, earning myself a grin from him.
“I guess it’s a little hard to picture.”
“Have you had a lot of women to dance with over the years?” I asked, suddenly wanting to know more about James’s past.
His eyes dropped to mine, but even I wasn’t exactly sure what I was asking. The question had left my mouth before I had even thought twice.
“Some. I wouldn’t say a lot.”
Curiosity was getting the best of me.
“Were they all vampires? Have you ever danced with a human?”
He swallowed hard and I felt his muscles stiffen beneath my fingertips. “They were all vampires. You’re the first human I’ve danced with since I became… what I am.”
I nodded.
I wanted to tell him that I was glad to be his first, but even running it through my brain it sounded ridiculous. “Well, you’re the first vampire I’ve danced with. In case you were wondering.”
I was being playful, trying to lift the mood that was slowly turning somber.
He chuckled softly. “Good to know.”
His eyes moved over my face once again and suddenly the room felt too small for the both of us. He was looking at me in a way that made me fight to breathe. It occurred to me then that whether vampire or human, I didn’t know how to interact with anyone else.
I’d been alone for so long that I felt out of place around someone else, but I desperately wanted that to change. I liked being around James, but I told myself it was only because I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
I saw him swallow again, almost struggling to do the simple act, and then his head dropped. Not more than an inch, but enough that I noticed he was closer to me. I heard him inhale, breathing me in as if I were the most succulent morsel he had ever been close to, and he hummed softly ending the sound with a small growl of approval. I held my breath wondering, waiting what his next move would be.
The desire to feel his mouth against my skin speared me and I closed my eyes wishing he would lean closer and put his lips on me somewhere… anywhere, but that didn’t happen. Instead, his body stiffened and he pulled away.
“It’s almost morning and you need all the rest you can get.” He took a step back and I was able to breathe easier again. “Do you need me to get you anything first?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
He nodded and then there was nothing left to do but go to bed. “Goodnight, James. Thank you for the dance.”
“Goodnight, Harley.”
We went separate ways in the hallway; me to my room and him to his. Once I was alone in my room, I snuggled into the bed, but sleep didn’t come easily. I lay there trying to figure out what it was I was feeling. The need for his lips against my skin wasn’t something I understood. The feel of being in his arms, the safety within his hold, all of it was so confusing.
I shifted onto my side, my eyes going to the door. My thoughts kept coming, questions without answers, and when sleep finally came, the sky was lit with the sun and my dreams were filled with music, dancing, and a vampire I found myself wanting to know better.
4
James
My cravings for Harley were changing.
I was beginning to want her for other reasons.
Yes, I wanted to devour her. I wanted to drink her blood until I was full and satisfied.
But the desire to touch her.
Kiss her.
Feel her.
Those cravings were becoming more prudent.
I wanted her for m
yself. I wanted to claim her as mine and I wanted to use her in all the ways she was capable of satisfying me.
The hunger.
The sexual desire.
All of it.
And as I held her close to my body, her soft curves pressed against me, and her heartbeat rocking throughout my stillness, the thought of kissing her had been stronger than my need to feed. Breathing her in, I pictured myself feeding on her while I pushed inside of her heat. I had almost acted on my thoughts.
Hearing the birdsong just outside had been like an alarm. Blaring loudly throughout my sensitive senses and reminding me to stop. Telling me that what I was about to do was wrong in so many ways.
She wasn’t mine.
She would never be mine.
There was no telling when it would happen, but at some point, probably soon, I would have to turn her over to Rhys. She was necessary for our survival and soon she would belong to the human male found to breed her with and the government.
I needed to remember that.
But my hunt for all things human had brought me to this moment. The need to feel alive again—the want to own a functioning heart and feel human again—it had brought me to Harley. Thanks to her, I had never felt more alive. Not even before my making. Not even when there was breath in my lungs and blood traveling through my veins.
It was her.
She was addictive.
Her life had given me life, and it did so without drinking her in.
Then there was the guilt.
Knowing that because of creatures like me she was so clueless about simple aspects of life. She had no idea of simple pleasures.
A record player.
Music.
Dancing, which had been a major part of history since the beginning of time.
It was as if she had been raised in a room with nothing and she now had no sense of the future. She didn’t even consider life past the day she was living in. I couldn’t imagine being that way, yet at the same time, it seemed thrilling to live in the moment.
Maybe she had the right idea about things without even realizing it. I decided to live through her new experiences as if they were my own. I was going to start looking at things through her eyes, enjoying each moment as if it were new and fascinating.
Everything was a mystery to her and when I showed her new things it was like learning them and reliving my first time all over again, which is why I came up with a plan before I drifted off to sleep.
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