I was falling for a vampire and I wasn’t sure I could stop those feelings if I wanted to.
6
James
I found the perfect spot for Harley’s garden and a sense of excitement rose within me when I thought of how happy I was going to make her. I couldn’t wait to see the smile on her face when I showed her the area.
I had spent most of the night before clearing out the weeds and already a perfect squared area was forming. I put the hoe I found in an outside shed to work as I plowed lines where each type of fruit and vegetable would go. I had even taken the time to plow an area to the side where she could plant some of the flower seeds.
I was done separating myself from Harley. Originally, I had kept my distance because she was walking around smelling like fresh blood, but she was over her menstrual cycle, which meant I could think more clearly around her. Being able to think clearly helped me come to a conclusion.
I wasn’t staying away from Harley out of fear of hurting her.
I was staying away out of fear of hurting myself.
My feelings for Harley were growing into something dangerous, and since I knew one day she would be taken away from me, I couldn’t bear the idea of falling in love with her and losing her. I had already lost every person I had ever loved. It was unwise to allow that to happen to myself yet again.
Not to mention, I could sense her feelings for me changing, as well. She had no idea what was in store for her, but one day she would find out I was the one who orchestrated her capture for the government. It was going to break her heart if she cared for me, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
No.
I couldn’t allow our feelings to blossom.
But I was finding it hard to stick to that plan; especially when she was going around wearing dresses that only enhanced her womanly curves and beauty. It had been years since I felt myself falling so fiercely for another person. In fact, in all my many years, I hadn’t quite felt this way with anyone else.
Part of me wanted to believe it was because we were stuck together so closely with only each other to communicate with, and part of me wanted to believe it was her rich and sweet blood that was capturing me, but I knew neither was the case.
It was her.
Her smile.
Her joyful laughter and the way she threw her head back when she laughed.
Her smirks when she was being playful, and even the pain I saw in her eyes when she talked about her past and the family she had lost. She loved so fiercely and fought so bravely to continue once she lost it all.
Everything about her pride and power was so strangely beautiful. I was having a hard time keeping myself away from her, but I knew in time I would have to do just that. I would have to turn her over and walk away like the time we shared together had meant nothing. If I didn’t, I would surely die.
Already my immunity to Hematonin was taking its toll. Even plowing a garden seemed to be making me weaker. I wasn’t used to not having an unlimited amount of energy anymore. It made me feel human, and yet, I wasn’t sure I liked it very much.
Either way, I went, whether I kept her for myself or handed her over, I would have to leave Harley behind.
She had once said she wanted to enjoy every second she had left since she knew her days were numbered. Well, I understood that more than ever now since my days were becoming numbered, as well. At least my days with her were, which meant I wanted to suck up all of our time together and tuck those memories away to keep me going for the rest of my life.
However long that might be.
That meant enjoying the time we had together until the end of it.
Teaching her.
Watching her be human and remembering the times when I myself was human, as well.
It was the perfect vacation from my vampire life.
So while I knew neither one of us would be there to see the garden grow, I was outside in the dark making sure it was everything she could ever want. The soil of the Earth crushing between my fingers had never felt so good. The dirt was still warm from the sun and it was as if I was feeling its heat on my skin.
The spot looked as though it had once been plowed and I was positive it was the spot the previous owner had planned on starting their garden. I would honor their memory, since I was sure they were long gone, by planting Harley’s garden in their original spot.
The sky was turning purple and the sun was tucked behind the edge of the Earth waiting to rise and send me to bed. Morning birds were beginning their tune and it was as though they were singing the happiness I was feeling.
It was the perfect time to show Harley what I had spent the night doing.
Going inside, I found Harley in the kitchen stirring a pot. I had taught her how to heat her own food on the stove and she was taking advantage of that new knowledge every chance she got. Even though I was essentially starving, the smell of her soup did nothing for me.
The smell of the blood pumping throughout her body, however, was a different story entirely.
The record player was playing on low volume, the voice of Elvis Presley floating throughout the cabin. With her back to me, she was swaying her hips back and forth to the music and seeing her dance brought a tiny grin to my face. She was comfortable in my cabin and somehow she was making the place feel more like a home than the condo I lived in, in the city.
“Are you hungry?” she asked as I moved into the kitchen behind her.
She asked me every morning before bed if I was hungry. I knew she was offering soup and not her blood, but sometimes it did feel a bit like a tease.
Obviously, she had heard me coming up behind her. I was getting better at alerting of her my presence.
“No, thank you,” I said politely. I knew she meant well, but there was no point in eating human food when it did absolutely nothing for me. “After you’re done eating I have a surprise for you outside.”
She turned, instantly forgetting about her dinner. Her eyes went wide and a sweet smile spread across her lips. “A surprise? What is it?”
I moved to grab the box of seeds and she followed my every movement with her eyes.
“You’ll see.”
“There’s no way I can eat now. Please show me,” she begged, and I was helpless to say no.
“Okay, I’ll show you, and then you eat.”
She nodded.
She followed behind me to the back door, but she paused before stepping outside into the early dawn.
“Wait. The sun’s coming up.”
I chuckled. “We’ll have about twenty minutes. Trust me. Come outside.” I held my hand out to her and she slipped her warm hand into mine and followed me outside into the backyard.
She practically skipped at my side and I found myself smiling at her reaction to a surprise.
Her hand warmed mine and my grip tightened when she adjusted her fingers between mine. Looking over at her, she looked back at me through her long lashes. I gave her fingers a quick squeeze and grinned down at her. We moved closer to the spot and once we were there, I paused.
“This is it,” I said.
She looked around, confused.
“This spot. I prepared it for you. It’s the perfect spot for your garden.”
She looked down and her eyes moved over the plowed lines. Then the happy smile I had worked so hard for formed on her lips, going wider and wider until her dark eyes were shining, as well.
“Our garden,” she corrected.
“Pardon me?”
“It’s not just my garden. It’s ours.”
Then she slipped her fingers from mine and she bent over and ran her fingers through the dirt like I had earlier.
“It’s perfect, James. Can we start right away?” She stood and faced me.
“You can. If I stay out here any longer it won’t end well for me.”
She giggled. “Oh yeah.”
I stared at her face—her flushed cheeks—and her bright eyes as the light slowly lit up the sky ar
ound us.
“Before you start, you should know…”
“I know,” she said before I could finish. “We might not be here to see everything grow, but I don’t care. I want to do this anyway.”
I nodded, feeling the same way. “Then you can get started. I’m going to go inside and shower before I get some rest. Don’t stay out here too long. With the sun coming up I’m not worried about vampires, but you never know if there’s anything else dangerous in these woods.”
She laughed. “I’m sure I’ll be just fine. I’ve taken care of myself for a quite a while now.”
“That’s true. Also, please eat first. I can smell the hunger in your blood.”
“Got it.”
She practically inhaled her food in the kitchen as I took to the bathroom to wash the night of dirt off of my skin. The sun was already high once I got out of the shower and started to dress for bed. I couldn’t feel it on my skin since I had secured the windows and such really well, but I could still sense the sun through the roof of the cabin.
As I was dressing after my shower I heard her go into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She emerged from her room just as I was leaving the bathroom and my breath caught with just one look at her.
She was wearing denim shorts and a blue tank top, and I decided at the moment that Harley should always wear the color of the sky against her skin.
“Remember,” I said, stopping her before she disappeared down the hallway. “Plant the seeds a few inches deep and put space between them. Don’t be out there all day. You need your rest, as well.”
“I won’t.”
I moved away from her and toward my room before I did something stupid like pull her to me and kiss her senseless, but just before I went into my room I paused with my hand on the doorknob.
“Goodnight, Harley.”
She smiled back at me from the end of the hall. “Goodnight, James. Sleep well.”
It wasn’t until I was in bed and almost asleep that I realized I hadn’t even considered the fact that Harley might run away from me. I had quit locking the doors a few days before and since then I hadn’t worried about it. Somehow I knew she would never leave me; at least not until I pushed her away and gave her to another man.
The following night I woke with the moon. Dressing in my bedroom, I found it strange that I couldn’t hear Harley moving about in her room, but then I remembered she had been up later than me. I had slept so hard, feeling weary and weakened, that I hadn’t even listened for her to make sure she had come inside and gone to bed.
Once I was dressed, I stepped out into the hallway and closed my bedroom door behind me. On my way to the kitchen for my pill, I passed Harley’s room and noticed right away that the door was open. I looked inside to check on her and when I did I saw that her bed hadn’t been touched.
She wasn’t there.
With my quickest speed, I rushed to the back door and threw it open hoping to see her outside still planting seeds, but she wasn’t there. Panic sliced through me, making me gasp for a breath I didn’t need.
“Harley!” I yelled out the back door, feeling fear that she was taken from me and hurt that she might have left on her own free will all at once.
I couldn’t decide which option was more plausible.
Just as I was about to explode out the back door and search for her, I heard her behind me.
“James? What’s wrong?”
I turned around quickly, finding her sitting up on the couch with a yawn.
“You weren’t in bed,” I said, the panic obvious in my voice.
She lifted her arms above her head and stretched. “Sorry. I fell asleep on the couch.”
Relief filled me making me react without thinking.
I went to her and knelt beside the couch.
“I thought…” I stopped, the words seeming to choke me.
She leaned up on her elbows, her long, dark hair falling onto the couch behind her.
“You thought what?”
Her eyes were wide with confusion.
I shook my head trying to clear my mind of all the worst possible scenarios I was thinking about.
“I thought you were gone. That someone had taken you or that you had left me.”
Her lips lifted in a tiny smile. “Left you?”
“Yes. I mean, not me. I just…” I couldn’t figure out the words to say so I just went with the truth. “I don’t want you to leave.”
She reached up, her fingertips brushing my cheek, and I closed my eyes against the ache and hunger inside me. “James?”
“Yes?”
We were so close that the air around us tasted like Harley.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Her words soothed the ache, making me forget about the hunger and burn in the back of my throat.
“Actually,” she continued. “I hope we’re still here together to see the garden grow. I love it here… with you. I’m not sure what you’re waiting for, but I can tell you’re waiting. I hope whatever it is, it doesn’t mess up what we have going on here. I hope it doesn’t… take us apart.”
Something inside my chest shifted and I could have sworn it was a pause of my heartbeat; except I didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. As far as I was concerned, Harley was now my heartbeat.
“I hope not either.”
I said the words knowing what I was waiting for would definitely tear us apart. It would take us away from the little slice of solitude we had managed to find in my cabin and as that truth settled over me, I felt a terrible sadness deep within.
I lifted my hand, and the back of my fingers brushed the curve of her cheek. I waited for her to flinch from my touch, but she didn’t. Finally, when I was sure she wasn’t going to pull away, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers.
I survived my lot in life because of the memories I held onto. If I was going to lose Harley, I needed to make a new memory with her; one that would keep me going after she was gone away from me. And as she sighed against my lips and opened for me, letting me taste all that she was, I knew it would be my favorite memory for the rest of my life. However long that might be.
7
Harley
I had never lived in my life.
I knew that for sure.
The minute James pressed his cold lips to mine my entire life flashed before my eyes and nothing as sweet had ever happened to me.
Nothing.
He pulled back and his cool breath struck my heated lips.
I wanted more.
I had never felt so alive.
I had never felt so aware of my heartbeat or the breath in my lungs.
The throbbing between my thighs that began to match my body’s rhythms.
It was electric.
So intense my heart skipped a beat and I had to suck in a deep breath.
With closed eyes, I reached out, pulling him back to me—back for more. I pressed my mouth against his and a strange sensation I’d never known worked its way down my back and into my lower stomach. It was pleasant and warm as it spread deep into the rest of me.
My cheeks heated when I accidentally let a little noise slip past my lips. I’d never felt more vulnerable and the noises I heard myself make were embarrassing. I prided myself on not being a soft girl. I had to be hard in the world I survived in, but James was turning all my muscles to liquid.
At that point he could have fed on me until my eyes closed, never to open again, and I wouldn’t have cared. I would have given him all of me with just a simple request.
I had heard of kissing before. My mother and father had talked about their first kiss with happy smiles on their faces, but I’d always thought of the sweet kisses on the cheek that my little brother used to give me every time they mentioned it. I had never been more wrong, and now I understood those smiles and why I had felt like an intruder every time they shared one in front of me.
A kiss from James was nothing like those innocent brotherly kisses. They heated me from the i
nside out and made me want things I didn’t understand. I pressed myself against him, rising from the couch a bit, and that movement seemed to somehow give me relief.
My arms wrapped around his neck on their own, his frigid skin stinging the soft inner skin of my forearms. I was pleased when he pressed his hard stone-like body against me, pushing me back into the cushions of the couch as he moved over me.
I was running out of breath so I broke the kiss to breathe. The feelings I was experiencing weren’t normal. He had to be using some form of vampire coercion on me. Maybe I was under one of his mythical vampire spells. Maybe this was how they killed their prey, but I knew that wasn’t the case.
James was different.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me that. I had seen it with my own two eyes and felt it in his touches.
“What are you doing to me?” I whispered.
I looked up into his eyes and tried to test my theory of whether or not I was under some kind of compulsion. He was looking at me differently. Like it was the first time he’d ever seen me. Like I was one of his prized possessions—like I was the sunrise.
A cloudless sky.
The sun.
Heat.
Joy.
All the things he had once told me he missed about his human life.
Reaching up, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and a set of chills worked their way down the side of my neck and onto my shoulder.
“I think I should ask you the same question,” he said breathlessly as if he too was human and out of breath from our kiss.
I didn’t have time to respond before he started to kiss me again. I looked at his closed lids before closing my eyes and letting his cool lips take control of mine. This time his hands were in my hair and his kiss deepened.
I gasped when his tongue entered my mouth and even newer sensations took hold.
He tasted like the waters of a fresh spring I’d once found outside of Savannah with a hint of something sweet.
Clean and clear.
Cold and moist, with his own unique flavoring coated in sugar.
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