“Sure, sure,” I respond, still staring at my desk in a daze. Nine am. I have just over 18 hours to figure out what I want to do.
I sit down and put my head in my hands. This shouldn’t be a hard decision. On the one hand, I have a huge promotion and more stability for my daughter. I have less travel and more money. On the other hand, there’s Rosie.
Rosie.
I lean back in my chair and drop my head, rubbing my temples with my fingers. I wish she didn’t have such a hold on me! Why is this even a question?! Of course I need to take the promotion, I have no choice. To turn it down for the promise of a relationship with a woman I’ve met twice would be foolish and irresponsible. With Allie to think of, I can’t do that. Never in a million years could I turn this down.
All the time I thought I would be spending with Rosie, the business trips I thought I’d have, the time to get to know her—that’s all going to be someone else’s time. I’ll be on the other side of the country in a supposed ‘better job’ just because I’ll be making more money.
I open my eyes and see my favorite photo of Allie framed on my desk. Of course I need to stay. That kid has been through so much, from the death of her mom when she was just two years old and dealing with my grumpy ass. She’s stuck with me with a smile on her face through it all. This promotion is a good thing.
So why does it feel so bad?
30
Rosie
“So how was your night of passion with the old baby daddy?” Jess asks. Harper’s head whips around towards me.
“He’s here?” Harper asks, looking between Jess and I. Jess shoots me a look and I know I need to tell Harper about Lucas. It’s not a great situation to be in when your boss is also your best friend.
We’re sitting in my living room, the two of them on the couch and me in the chair across from them. They’re leaning towards me with shock painted all over their faces. Our mugs of tea are sitting forgotten on the coffee table between us. I lift my legs up and cross them on the seat.
“No, he left. He was only here for a couple days.”
“Wait,” Harper says, holding up her hands. “Back up. So the, uh, baby daddy, was in town on business and he contacted you? How did you get in touch? I thought you lost his number. How do I not know about this??”
I look at Jess and she shrugs, picking up her mug of tea and refusing to make eye contact with me. She did that on purpose. I take a deep breath.
“Harper, I didn’t know how to tell you before. I..” I falter, looking at the ground between us. Harper leans forward.
“What is it Rosie?” She looks at Jess. “What’s going on? What are you guys not telling me??”
“It’s Lucas.”
I finally meet Harper’s eye and her face is frozen. Her jaw is hanging open. She shakes her head. “Lucas. What do you mean it’s Lucas?”
“I mean Lucas Thorne. The agent. The client. He’s… he’s the father.”
“What!”
“I didn’t know until I walked in the conference room. I swear Harper, I was going to tell you as soon as he refused the contract but then he accepted and I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you fucked him again? That was your solution? You slept with the firm’s biggest client?”
I wring my hands. “It wasn’t like that. I was going to tell him about the baby, I met him for coffee and then… I don’t know.” I look at both of them, searching their faces for some understanding. Jess nods but Harper’s face is unreadable. I know she’s thinking about the firm. I take a deep breath.
“Harper, do you remember when you and Zach started seeing each other? How there was just… something. There was something between you and you had to go for it even though it was putting your whole professional career in jeopardy?”
Harper shakes her head. “Don’t bring me into this!”
“Why not! It’s exactly the same. I had a one night with this guy and it was incredible, you know? Like it’s the first time since the attack that I’ve actually felt like myself again. It’s the first time I’ve felt safe. And then I got pregnant. And now it’s just blown up in my face and, and…” the tears start welling in my eyes and Harper is by my side in an instant. She’s rubbing my back and cooing in my ear.
“Of course, Rosie. Of course, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about work. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there.” She pulls away and I can see the love in her eyes. My shoulders relax.
“So did you tell him?” Jess asks, leaning forward on the couch. I cringe.
“Well, no, I didn’t exactly tell him,” I say, not daring to look at Jess in the face.
“Rosie!” They exclaim in unison.
“I will!” I protest. “I will. Just… in my own time. It was too good, I couldn’t ruin the moment.”
“And now he’s back in LA?” Jess asks. Harper purses her lips.
“Yeah, back in LA for a few weeks. He should be back here in a couple of weeks to go through the performance of the ads.”
“I would give you shit for sleeping with a client but I don’t really have a leg to stand on,” Harper says with a laugh. “I’ve done worse. What’s more scandalous, the CEO or the firm’s biggest client?”
“At least Zach knew you were pregnant right away,” Jess says as she raises an eyebrow towards me. “The longer you wait the worse it’ll get.”
“I know, I know,” I say. “I just… it’s just hard, okay? And since when are you the responsible one?!” I ask Jess with a laugh.
“Since you got knocked up and won’t tell the father he’s a father!” She exclaims, leaning back in the chair and grinning with one raised eyebrow. I try to keep my face steady but I crack into a smile and start laughing. Soon the three of us are doubled over with peals of laughter.
“I’m so glad I have you guys to laugh with,” I say. “This would be so fucking hard on my own.”
Jess shakes her head. “I’m not sure I should be hanging out with you guys. At this rate I’ll be getting knocked up by a coworker any day now.” She laughs. “And I don’t want any of those guys to come anywhere near me.”
“I blame you, Jess. You’re the one who told me I needed to get royally Fucked with a capital F. This is on your shoulders,” I grin.
“Me!” She exclaims, throwing her hands up defensively and laughing. “I told you you needed to get Fucked, I didn’t say you needed to get pregnant!”
I shake my head. Lucas’s face appears in my mind and my heart immediately feels calmer. “I don’t know what it is about him, I just like him.”
“I’ve never seen you like this,” Harper says. She looks at me curiously before continuing. “You look all… dreamy-eyed. You’re my sarcastic friend and now you’ve gone soft!”
“I’m still sarcastic. And besides, you were the first to go all gaga on us,” I laugh.
Harper nods. “So when is he back? Surely it won’t be for a few weeks?”
“Nah we have to get the ads reviewed and approved and then launch them and he’ll be back for the first weekly review. So like, three weeks?”
They both nod. Harper goes into Harper-mode:“And are you going to do long-distance? How is this whole thing going to work? Are you going to tell Zach? Are you together?”
I throw up my hands. “Harper, Harper! Too many questions! The answer to all of them is ‘I don’t know.’ Up until a couple days ago I didn’t even know his last name. All I know is that he’s the best lay I’ve ever had.”
Jess looks at Harper and then back at me. She leans forward and her face softens. I see concern in her eyes that I’ve never seen before. When she speaks, her voice is soft.
“In all seriousness, Rosie, you have to tell him. He has a right to know and make his own decisions before the baby is born. By the time he’s back you might even be starting to show. If not in three weeks then definitely by the time he’s back the next time.”
She nods to my stomach and I look away. I stare at the patterns on my rug and think about what
she’s said.
“I know,” I finally admit. “I was ready to tell him at the coffee shop but then I saw him and I just… I just couldn’t. He was looking at me with those eyes and then all of a sudden it’s like it sparked and we were all over each other. I didn’t want to ruin it by telling him.”
“It’ll only make it worse the longer you wait,” Jess says. “Now you have to wait three weeks unless you tell him over the phone.”
“I’m not doing that.”
They both nod.
“Three weeks then.” Harper says. “And after that you have to tell Zach. He’ll kill me when he finds out I knew and never told him.”
“Thank you for not telling him,” I say, and I mean it. I know that she tells Zach everything, and it’s just a testament to our friendship that she’ll keep this quiet until I’m ready.
“You did the same for me just over a year ago,” she says with a wink before checking her watch.
“I have to go, the babysitter will be angry if I’m late again. I don’t know how she hasn’t quit yet, with the amount of last minute work we pile onto her.”
“Probably all those last minute paychecks,” Jess laughs. “I’ll walk down with you. Call me if you need anything, alright Rosie?”
I nod and show them out. When my door closes I let out a big sigh and slump back onto the couch. I know they’re right, and I know I’ve been a chicken by not telling Lucas about the baby. It’s not like me, I usually face things head on. Lucas just makes me want to be with him and I’m terrified this will change his mind.
My phone buzzes and his name pops up, as if he could tell I was thinking about him. It’s a photo of him in a steamy bathroom, wearing nothing and covering his crotch with his hand. His body is glistening from the shower and he has a smirk on his face. A text comes through straight after.
Lucas: Thinking of you xx
I sigh and lean back on the couch, staring at the photo. I’d give anything to run my fingers down that body. I type back a quick response and open the photo back up. He looks so good. His body is chiseled and muscular in ways I didn’t even know was possible. The grin on his face makes his eyes sparkle and I wish I could kiss those lips.
Three weeks.
I can do three weeks.
31
Lucas
It’s already 9pm for me, which means it’s midnight for Rosie.
Lucas: Go to bed, I’ll talk to you in the morning.
She answers right away and I sigh, putting my phone away. We’ve been texting non-stop the whole day. I haven’t told her that I won’t be in charge of the Lockwood campaigns, or that my next trip to New York will be my last. I’ll tell her when I’m there, and we can work something out.
Maybe it’s better this way. We’re not directly involved with work, so that leaves us free in our personal lives. Maybe this whole thing is a blessing in disguise. Maybe she’d even consider moving to Los Angeles!
I lay back and stare at the ceiling. Soft footsteps make me turn towards my door. Allie pushes it open and pokes her head through.
“I’m glad you’re back, Dad,” she says in a half-whisper.
“Me too, kiddo. Come here,” I say and open my arms. She jumps up onto the bed and nuzzles into my tee-shirt. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. “You’re getting so big!”
“Can we measure me tomorrow? I think I’ve grown a lot since last time!”
I chuckle. “Sure thing, Allie. I think you have too.”
Allie lifts her head and puts her little hands on either cheek. “You look good, Daddy. Like you’re happier than you were before.”
“I got some good news at work. I won’t be traveling so much and I’ll be able to spend more time with you!” I tickle her and she giggles and squirms until I stop.
“Really?!” Her eyes light up and my heart melts. I’ve been selfish. This is where I should be, with my daughter. I nod.
“Yep. They’re going to let me run things from Los Angeles and send other people traveling.”
“Maybe you can come to the Mathletes competition! We’re competing against the other top schools in the city! I’m going to be captain!”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo. Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier?”
Allie shrugs. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
I ruffle her hair and sigh. “You’d never bother me. Now come on, it’s way past your bedtime. Get to bed.”
She smiles and jumps down from the bed. “Door closed or open?” She calls out as she bounces towards it.
“Closed,” I respond. She turns around and blows me a kiss.
“Goodnight Dad!”
“Night, Allie.”
The door closes and I let out all the air in my lungs. I didn’t even know my own daughter was competing in a math competition. I didn’t know she was the team captain! This promotion is definitely a good thing. I just need to remember that next time I see Rosie and feel that crazy attraction I have for her. There might be enough room for both of them in my life, but Allie has to come first, always.
I pick up my phone and scroll through the messages we sent back and forth today. She’s witty and clever and makes me laugh when I least expect it. I know Allie would love her, but she lives on the other side of the country. I didn’t even know what she did for a job, and she doesn’t even know I have a daughter.
I sigh and shake my head. This fling, or this affair, or romance, or whatever it is, is way too complicated. I’m losing sight of my priorities—priorities I’ve had ever since Allie’s mother died. She told me to take care of Allie and I swore on my life that I would.
I have three weeks to figure out what I’m going to tell Rosie. I can’t do long distance, and I can’t move to New York. Above all, I have to put Allie first.
In a few days I’ve saved my client’s careers, I’ve gotten a promotion, and discovered that my daughter is practically a genius. I’ve also met the woman of my dreams and had the most mind-blowing sex of my life. I should be happy. I should be excited about the future and hopeful for my prospects. I should be proud of my daughter and happy that I’ll get to spend more time with her.
Instead, I’m worried about what will happen. I’m worried about losing Rosie, about losing something I never even knew I wanted in the first place.
Three weeks.
I have three weeks to figure it out.
32
Rosie
Three weeks doesn’t seem like a long time until you’re waiting for it to be over. The days drag on even though I’m working from morning till night. I’m chained to my phone, my heart jumping every time it dings and Lucas’s name pops up. There’s a spring in my step and I feel hopeful about the future, hopeful about my baby and about Lucas.
He’s finally getting here today. My whole body is buzzing with excitement. I haven’t felt this giddy in a long time. I can’t wait to see him, even if the first eight hours will be at work. I have to wear a mask of professionalism all day, but still. I’ll get to see him and smell his cologne and brush my hands against his arm. We’ll work shoulder to shoulder and spend all day together in the office and then rip each other’s clothes off the instant we’re alone together.
The thought of his skin against mine is making the desire pulse inside me already. I just have to make it through the day without soaking through my panties.
Easier said than done.
I’m sitting at my desk, keeping one eye on my screen and one eye on the elevators. My knee is bouncing up and down and my heartbeat is faster than normal. I smooth my hair down for the thousandth time and check my makeup in my compact mirror.
“You look great,” Harper whispers from behind me. I turn around and blush.
“I’m so nervous!”
“Don’t be,” she says as she squeezes my shoulder.
The elevator dings open and both our heads whip around to see who steps out. My heart starts pounding when I see Lucas’s broad shoulders and perfectly tousled
hair come into view. He scans the room and when our eyes meet he starts smiling. He looks away and shakes his head, putting a neutral expression on his face again. A younger, blonde man steps out of the elevator behind him. He scans the room as well with a curious expression.
“Well he’s happy to see you,” Harper says with a grin and a raised eyebrow. I blush again.
“This is ridiculous,” I say as I put my hands against my cheeks. “I’m blushing as badly as you now.”
Harper laughs. “Not quite. I’m brutal!” She winks and walks over towards the two visitors and greets them warmly before pointing them to the conference room. I gather my things and get ready for a long, torturous day of work.
I step into the conference room and the breath leaves my body. All I want to do is climb on top of him right now.
I can’t, obviously.
He stands up and extends his hand. I slip my hand into his and the electricity shoots up through my arm and straight to my core. His eyes are laughing as his voice stays placid.
“Rosie, nice to see you again. I’d like to introduce you to Jake. Jake will be taking over from me, so we need to get him up to speed over the next couple days.”
His words are like ice in my veins. “Oh,” I say, slightly taken aback. I extend my hand to the man. “Hi Jake.”
“Nice to meet you. Rosie, is it?”
“I thought you were going to lead this?” I ask Lucas, ignoring Jake’s question. Lucas looks from me to Jake and nods.
“Change of plans.” I’ll tell you later, his eyes seem to say. I nod and paint a smile on my face.
“Well let’s get started then. Jake, have you seen the detailed ad sets that were sent through yesterday?”
I push the million thoughts flying around my head out of the way and focus on what I’m good at: work. All I want to do is ask Lucas what he means, where he’ll be, if I’m going to see him again! Did he ask to be taken off the project? Is it because of me?
Knocked Up- The Complete Box Set Page 25
