I can’t take this anymore. I need to see her, I need to talk to her and tell her what’s going on.
I grab my jacket and rush out the door. I’ll drive to her place and make sure she’s alright. From there, we’ll be able to figure something out together. I jog to the elevator and tap my foot as it makes a slow ascent towards my floor. I sigh, counting the seconds until the doors ding open.
It seems to take an eternity to go back downstairs and I rush to my car. It seems like every single light is a red light and it takes me forever to get to her place.
Finally, I pull up outside and jump out. I ring the doorbell and shift my weight from foot to foot until I hear someone coming towards the door. I breathe a sigh of relief when Sam opens the door.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, brows knitting together on her forehead.
“I was worried about you, I had to see you,” I reply.
“Why would you be worried?” Her words seem to have a double meaning and she stares at my face intently. A lump forms in my throat and I’m struggling to find the words to tell her what I need to tell her. Where do I start! Her eyes narrow a bit more and I shake my head.
“You weren’t answering my calls,” I finally concede. “I…”
She waits for me to go on and finally shakes her head. “What the fuck is going on, Dean? Why is your mother showing up on my doorstep and telling me to break up with you? Why some woman showing up at my work and telling me you aren’t what you seem? Why are you suddenly worried about my welfare? What is going on?”
“Wait, what? She came here?! And who was at your work?”
“Tell me what’s going on Dean, it feels like there are way too many secrets you’re not telling me.”
“There aren’t any secrets! It’s just family stuff.”
She nods slowly. “Just family stuff. Right. The family that owns your life and basically runs this town. And you wouldn’t want to share any of that with me, because I’m not part of your world, is that it? I’m just a fun distraction? It’s not until your own mother, who I’ve never met before, comes to my door that you’re suddenly worried about me knowing these things?”
“No, Sam! What? No! Not at all!”
“Leave me alone, Dean. I dealt with secrets and lies in my marriage and I’m sure as hell not going to deal with it from you.”
“Wait, Sam, please,” I say, taking a step towards her. Her face softens and she sighs.
“You need to be honest with me, Dean. I can’t take this.”
My heart breaks and I nod. “They’re pressuring me to break up with you. I swear Sam, I’m trying to fight it. It’s not you, they’ve wanted me to marry someone else. I just need a little time to figure it out.”
She chews her lip and stares at my face. “I need to think, Dean. And you need to give me some answers.”
“I will. I promise. I can’t take you out tonight, I’m pretty sure my mother is watching me. Meet me tomorrow after work? I’ll know more then.”
She nods. We stand there in front of each other silently until Sam’s face relaxes and she starts to smile. The squeezing in my chest disappears and I relax. I take a step forward and kiss her softly. The minute our lips touch, relief floods through me and I pull away.
“I’ll pick you up from work and I’ll tell you everything,” I say. She nods. “Goodnight, Sam.”
“Goodnight,” she says. She sighs and shakes her head before slowly closing the door.
I get back in my car and let out a sigh. That wasn’t what I was expecting. My mother must have come here right after going to my place. She must have threatened Sam somehow, and what was she saying about someone showing up at her work?
The panic that I felt earlier starts to transform into anger. I can feel it curling in my stomach as I think about my mother and father and Victoria. They’ve controlled my life for far too long. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this one, but I do know that Sam cares about me and she wants to be with me. I want to tell her everything and she wants to hear it, and that’s got to count for something.
I’ll go see my parents tomorrow morning and try to stall for time. That's all I need, more time. I need time to talk to Sam and time to figure out how I’m going to get out from under my parent’s thumb. I need to figure out what they have over Sam and how to make sure they won’t come after either of us.
I can figure it out, I know I can, but I need more time.
With a deep breath, I start the car. Before I can pull out, the passenger’s door opens and a large man gets in. I turn around to protest when I see the man’s face. I know that face.
“How have you been enjoying fucking my wife?” he says. My jaw drops as I realize who it is.
“Ronnie? What are you doing? Get out of my car!”
Something glints in his hand and I see the barrel of a gun. My chest suddenly feels hollow and a lump forms in my throat. I flick my eyes back to his face and see him snarl.
“I had the honor of meeting your mother when I came here the first time. Apparently she likes to have you followed and she saw an opportunity. And what can I say, I’ll take any opportunity to fuck your life up after you swooped in and took Sam from me.”
“That psychotic bitch,” I breathe, “and Sam was over you the moment you cheated on her, you bastard.” He flicks the gun forwards and growls.
“Drive.”
37
Samantha
I wake up with a pounding headache. It feels like I’m hungover, even though I haven’t had a single drink. I groan as I get out of bed. I get ready for work as if I’m on autopilot. I brush my teeth and wash my face, trying to ignore the sense of dread in my stomach.
I’m pregnant.
I still can’t get over that. I’m on the pill, I just keep thinking over and over. My thoughts drift from the baby to Dean to his family. I splash water on my face and lean against the bathroom counter, droplets of water falling into the sink.
I let all the air out of my lungs and take a deep breath to stop myself from crying. I don’t know if I can do this, but somehow I do. I get dressed and have coffee and make it to work on time. I talk to Margaret and the minutes tick by.
By the time the kids are coming in after school, I feel like a zombie. One of them latches onto my leg and a pain passes through my heart.
I don’t want to do this alone.
I ruffle the kid’s hair and try to blink back my tears. The little boy smiles at me and tugs at my hand.
“What’s wrong, Mrs Samantha? You look sad.”
“I’m not sad at all, Joey. I’m happy to see you today!”
“Is Clifford the clown here today? I want to learn how to make a balloon monkey!”
My heart squeezes and I force a smile. “He’ll be back soon, kiddo. You can learn how to make all kinds of animals. Now go see Mrs. Margaret, we’re going to start the game soon.”
He smiles at me again and runs towards my boss. My shoulders relax as I watch him run away. His friends come join him and pretty soon the room is full of children. Their laughter is like a healing balm on my heart, and soon the tension in my body starts to ease. I stretch my neck from side to side and take a deep breath.
If I have to do this alone, I will. Right now, the most important thing is making sure this baby is safe. I check my phone once again and frown when I see it blank. Usually Dean would have contacted me by now, especially since we had plans to meet after work.
I slip my phone back into my pocket and square my shoulders. I’ll listen to what he has to say, but I have to prepare myself for the possibility that it could be over between us. Even without the baby, something’s going on with his family. Until I know what it is, this baby has to stay a secret. Until I know that the three of us are safe and free, I have to carry this secret around with me.
I brush my hand over my stomach and feel an overwhelming sense of love come over me. It’s not a burden, this secret. It’s a gift. I look around the room at the children laughing and pla
ying and I feel scared and calm at the same time.
If my heart is about to be broken and I have to say goodbye to Dean, at least I’ll have a part of him to carry around with me. I’ll have a child to love and take care of, and I’ll be able to be the best mother that I can possibly be.
It really is a gift.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I rush to grab it. My heart sinks when it isn’t Dean’s name.
Jess: You okay?
Sam: Bit rough but okay. Starting to think I can do this.
Jess: You can. You’re strong.
I read the four words over and over and over until I start to believe them. I can do this. I’m strong. I can take care of this baby, and I can face whatever it is that Dean has to tell me. Whatever it is, it won’t destroy me. It can’t, because now I have to be strong. I have to make it work for this baby.
It doesn’t matter what Dean has to tell me, and as much as I want to ride off into the sunset with him, I don’t need him. I read Jess’s message again.
You can. You’re strong.
With a deep breath, I head back towards the group of children. I stand a bit taller and smile a bit wider. I can do this. I’m strong.
38
Dean
“Why are you keeping me here? Let me go!” I yell out through the shitty motel’s old door. I hear Ronnie and the other man shuffle outside but the door doesn’t open. For the thousandth time, my eyes swing around the room. There’s no windows or doors except the front door and front window, and the two men are guarding it day and night.
I sigh, sitting back down on the bed. I haven’t slept at all. They took my wallet, keys, phone, everything I had on me. I check the time and my heart squeezes. I wonder where Sam is. I wonder if she’s safe. He must have been waiting outside her house, or maybe he was following me?
“You’ll be arrested!” I call out again. “I’ll get a restraining order! Stay away from Sam!” I yell. One of the men bangs on the door and I quiet down. I remember the way the barrel of his gun dug into my side when he pushed me in the door and I groan, letting my head drop into my hands.
I never thought I’d say this, but I actually would prefer to be with my mother and father right now than here in this motel. I glance at the clock and groan. I’m late for my meeting with my father, which means they’ll be going after Sam. I get up and press my forehead to the door.
“I need my phone! Please! Just one phone call!”
“Shut the fuck up!” comes the response through the door. I sigh and turn around. I grab the pillows off the bed and throw them on the ground, yelling and stomping on them as I try to release some of the pressure that’s building inside me.
I hear a noise at the door and I spin around, expecting to see Ronnie’s lumbering body in the doorway. Instead, I frown as a different figure appears.
“Mom?!”
“Dean,” she says. “May I come in?”
“Are you behind this?? Is this you?? What the fuck is going on!” My jaw drops as my eyes flick between her and Ronnie.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she answers, stepping through the doorway. Her nose scrunches ever so slightly as her eyes swing around the room. I'm guessing she's never been anywhere like this in her life. The carpet has a big brown stain on it, the old brown floral wallpaper is peeling off the walls and the ceiling is covered in water stains. She stands inside and pulls the door closed.
“Now,” she says. “Are you ready to come back to the family?”
“Hold the fuck up,” I say, turning towards me. “Are you telling me that you fire me, you cut me off, you threaten me, threaten my girlfriend, and then you have me followed, you kidnap me, and you expect me to roll over and agree to marry someone who betrayed me? You expect me to ever speak to you again? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
My mother sighs and shakes her head. “You always were a high spirited child, Dean. Your father didn’t want to take these measures but I knew it would be the only way go get you to agree to our terms.”
She drops an envelope on the bed beside me and nods to it. I pick it up slowly and pull out a stack of pictures. It’s me and Victoria, sharing a coffee at one of the cafes near my apartment. I flick through the photos to see the two of us kissing and laughing.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask.
“Those are some pictures we had on file.”
“On file?! You were having me followed?! These must be a year old or more, when that bitch and I were still together. You had someone take pictures of us?? What the actual fuck?!”
My mother waves a hand to dismiss my protests. “We only wanted to make sure you were protected. There were some threats to the family at the time and I didn’t want you to worry.”
My head is spinning. I try to make sense of what my mother is saying but none of it makes any sense. I take a deep breath and take a step towards her.
“You want me to believe that you had someone follow me and take photos of me for my own protection? What ‘threats against the family’?” The anger inside me is reaching a peak as my mother sighs. She takes a step forward and puts a perfectly manicured hand on my forearm. When she looks into my eyes, I see nothing but harness in her eyes.
“Those pictures are on their way to Samantha. Victoria will hand-deliver them. I wanted to make sure you’d break up with her yesterday, but Ronnie here tells me you did just the opposite. It’s over between the two of you.”
My jaw drops. “You’re going to lie to her and make her believe I’m cheating on her?! That will destroy her. Mom! Stop. Call her!”
“No.”
My mother squares her shoulders and looks up at me. Her lips curl into almost a snarl and she shakes her head. “It’s over. You’re marrying Victoria and you’re working for your father.”
Panic starts to rise inside me like a volcano. I glance around the room, through the window at the two men and back at the pictures in my hands. I shake my head.
“No,” I whisper. “No, I can’t.”
“You have no choice. If you so much as go anywhere near Sam, we’ll have to get rid of her.”
“Get rid..? Mom, who are you? Who the fuck are you?”
“Grow up, Dean. You don’t get rich being nice.” She knocks on the door and it swings open. Ronnie’s face appears and I growl at him.
“How the fuck did you get involved. What does she have over you? Ronnie, you don’t need to do this!” My mother waves her hand and the two men approach me, guns pointing directly at my stomach. I throw my hands up and feel my bottom lip start to tremble. I hate how scared I am.
“Stop, please,” I say. They grab me roughly on either side and drag me to a waiting car. I see my mother drive off ahead of us before I’m thrown in the back seat and driven away from that godforsaken motel.
My heart feels like it’s been shattered. Sam will never speak to me again, and if I try to tell her the truth they’ll kill her. I have to do what my mother wants. I have to marry Victoria. My chest tightens at the thought until it feels like I’m being squeezed to death. I watch the cars and buildings rush by out the window as we drive towards my father's office. Tears prickle my eyelids. .
The only way to keep Sam safe is to break her heart, and to break my own at the same time.
39
Samantha
The day has dragged on. I glance at the clock again as the kids start to file out. Dean still hasn’t contacted me. As much as I force myself to believe that I can do it, the weight that dropped onto my shoulders at the doctor’s office is still there. My heart beats a little bit faster when I think about telling Dean about the baby.
Should I tell him right away? I know I should wait until everything with his family blows over. But maybe it would change his mind? I jerk my head up when I hear my name.
“…Samantha?”
“Sorry, Margaret. I was in a world of my own there.”
“Are you feeling okay? I was just going to say that you can head home if you want to. I’ve got ever
ything under control here.”
“Are you sure? It was supposed to be my night to set up for tomorrow.”
She smiles kindly and nods her head. “Go home, Samantha. I’ll see you tomorrow. And tell Dean to call me! I was expecting to hear from him or his boss today, we have a lot to organize with the children’s clown school days.”
“He’s been busy today,” I say, not wanting to tell her that I haven’t heard from him either. “I’m supposed to go see him now so I’ll make sure to tell him.”
“Thank you. Have a good night.”
I head out the door and shuffle to my car. I sit down and let out a sigh, turning the car on to let the air conditioning blow onto my face. I close my eyes for a few moments, letting my hand drift to my stomach.
How did this happen?
I mean, I know how this happened. But how did this happen?!
Dean’s mother’s face appears in my mind and I shudder. She was ready to ruin my life if I kept speaking to Dean, threatening to drag my name through the mud. And now with a baby on the way I can’t imagine what she’d threaten me with.
The thought of her using this baby against me makes my blood run cold. I sit up a bit straighter and open my eyes, gripping the steering wheel as I sit in the parking lot.
The realization dawns on me then—the realization that I can’t tell Dean. I can’t tell him about the baby until I know what’s going on with his family. I can’t risk her finding out and putting me or the baby in danger. I can’t risk it. I let my hand fall to my stomach again and take a long breath.
First, I need to figure out what’s going on. I need to find Dean and demand an explanation. Once I know that, I can figure out whether or not I can tell him about this baby. If I have to do it alone to protect it, then so be it.
With renewed energy, I turn the key in the ignition and the car rumbles to life. I send Dean a quick message to tell him to meet me at Jess’s. For the first time today I feel alive. I feel like I can face this, and I can figure it out. I’m not alone anymore, I’m not waiting for Dean to explain anything. I’m sure as hell not going to let Dean’s mother push me or my baby around. I flick on the radio and head home, singing alone to every song that I know.
Knocked Up- The Complete Box Set Page 63
