“Too late for that advice when you’re the one who did their bidding to get me here.” I didn’t blame her, not really but it was hard not to feel some resentment.
“We’re family.”
I scoffed. “Now that it’s convenient we are. Do me a favor Amelia, next time they ask you to come find me. Don’t.” She opened her mouth but I silenced whatever she would say by slicing the air between us. “This place isn’t my home and though we’re blood, we are not family. And thanks to you and dad, I might have screwed things up with my real family.”
“I guess Dad was wrong,” she said, sounding surprised. “He was sure this was some scheme but it seems like you both really do care about one another.”
I barked out a laugh at that. “What Dad thinks is none of my concern, and even if it was some scheme how is that any of your business? You gave up the right to give a damn about me when you sided with him.”
“Sided? Is that how you remember it?” She shook her head, dark locks falling around the shoulders of her soft blue sweater.
“That’s what I call going seven years without attempting to reach out to me. Siding with Dad. And that’s fine, I get it. But don’t pretend to be concerned now.” I stepped from the car with a nod to the driver who held the door open and turned back to Amelia. “If you’re not in my life because you want to be there, stay the hell away. I mean it.” And with those parting words, I took the flowers I’d bought for Maddie and strode into the hotel. Feeling like the scum of the fucking earth.
Maddie would be pissed as hell, she might not even want to talk to me and I hoped the gorgeous wildflower display would soften her enough to give me a chance to explain. It was a long shot but as I stepped off the elevator, I took a deep breath and practiced my apology before stopping at the door and unlocking the door. “I’m back!” The suite was quiet but I wasn’t surprised, prepared for the silent treatment.
“I’m sorry, Maddie.” I stopped just before entering the living room area where I expected her to be and took a deep breath. Then I turned and found the room empty. “Maddie?” The extra room in the two bedroom suite was empty along with the balcony. A slow icy dread threaded through me as I stepped inside our bedroom.
It was empty. Not gone as in she’d gone for a walk to clear her head and maybe walk off some of her anger. No, her suitcase was gone. Her toiletries were suspiciously absent from the bathroom and there were no traces she’d ever been there. “Fuck!” I didn’t want to believe it but the evidence stared me right in the face.
She was gone.
I reached inside my jacket and pulled out my phone, immediately dialing Maddie’s number. Four, maybe five times I dialed and each time it went straight to voicemail. “Maddie call me back. We need to talk.” I looked around the suite hopelessly in search of something, anything that might say she’d gotten her own room or had attempted to leave but hadn’t. Yet.
A glint of light from the corner of the bedroom caught my eye and I turned, taking long strides to get there. Filled with hope. Right there on top of my luggage was the only thing that could have doused that last flame of hope. On top of a cream colored sheet of paper which could only be my very own Dear John letter, was the platinum wedding band with three diamonds in it and it leaned up against the princess cut ring that I always caught her smiling at wistfully. I picked up the rings and wrapped my fingers around them, closing them into the palm of my hand as though I could still feel her warmth.
I couldn’t.
Reluctantly, I lifted the letter and unfolded it to see Maddie’s loopy handwriting with the slight slant. My heart dropped to my stomach at the short but crushing letter.
You were right, it is none of my business. It never was. It’s better this way.~Maddie
That was it, no anger or accusations. Just the facts and the fact was that I had more than screwed up. I had ruined everything. Ruined us. All the blood drained from my face and ran cold throughout the rest of my body. I fell to the bed, cursing my own stupidity. My own cowardice.
I had to get the hell out of the empty hotel suite. It felt too empty and my mind was too full, too chaotic to think straight, and I needed to think. So I did what any self-respecting New Yorker did when life got to be a bit too much. I took a walk around the city and thought.
I thought about Maddie at dinner, so strong and confident when she stood up to my parents, telling them exactly what she thought about them in a way that I’d never been able to. The truth was that she was the brave one, unafraid to speak her mind even when it was difficult. Telling my father the truth of his own behavior and motivations for summoning me home.
I thought about the look of hurt in her deep brown eyes that I didn’t see, but felt against the side of my face just before she’d left the Riley Estate. One thought kept running through my mind, I should have stood up to my parents. Hell, I should have stood up for Maddie when they attacked her and accused her of being after my money. But I didn’t because I couldn’t. It had been easier to leave than confront their expectations and that’s what I’d done.
Only in continuing that pattern, I’d tossed her to the wolves without a safety net. And because of that, I’d lost everything.
Lost Maddie.
Lost us.
The more of the pavement my long legs ate up, the more tortured I felt. But also, the more certain I felt about one thing. I didn’t want to lose Maddie. I wanted her.
Hell, I needed her. And I was determined to get her back. Permanently.
This may have started out because of Mae’s mistake because it wasn’t a mistake. Not to me. I wanted Maddie in my life. I wanted early mornings with a talkative little boy who thought I hung the moon. I wanted those quiet moments at the end of the day when we kissed and pleased each other in white hot silence, careful not to wake Max. I wanted it all.
My feet came to an abrupt halt. Shit. I did want it all.
And suddenly I knew what I had to do and it started with getting the hell out of New York.
And going back home.
To Belle Musique.
Maddie
It turns out that three days was nowhere near long enough to heal a broken heart. Of course I wasn’t foolish enough to think that it was long enough but I was something far worse than foolish. I was hopeful. Hopeful that when I woke up each morning, I would do something other than wonder if today would be the day that Zeke came running back, apologetic and ready to commit. I was hopeful that, barring his return, I would suddenly fall out of love with my accidental husband.
So far, all I had was hope.
And a bad attitude, at least if my assistant’s wariness was anything to go by. She’d been walking on eggshells and looking at me like she was waiting for me to blow up or burst into tears. Neither option was all that out of the ordinary. “I’m done for the day, boss. Need anything else?”
I blinked as her words pulled me from my own morose thoughts and I shook my head and tried for a smile. “No thanks, Lisa. I’ll take care of everything else. Go and enjoy the rest of your day.”
She beamed a smile that only a twenty-something who’d been given the rest of the day off could and with a short finger-wave, she was gone. I shouldn’t have felt relief at that because Lisa’s presence was no hardship. In fact, she’d been a massive help, so efficient that I had the time and energy to launch my line of evening dresses. But her sympathetic looks and attempts to cheer me up only served to remind me of why it was all necessary.
And that was pretty annoying.
The bell above the door pulled me from my thoughts again and I fixed a professional smile on my face and hoped like hell it reached my eyes since chances were good that the next customer was someone I knew. “Hi and welcome to…oh, it’s you.”
Vivi’s smile was wide and bright, never wavering even in the face of my less than kind greeting. “Great to see you too, bestie. I’m great, thanks for asking.”
“Sorry, Vivi. I thought you were a customer.” Judging by the glint in her eye, I’d
have been better off if it were a customer.
“I can buy something if it’ll make you feel better. Now that I think about it, my new boobs deserve a few new bras. And since I am a paying customer, you can’t avoid me any longer.” She arched her auburn brows, daring me to deny her accusation. “That’s what I thought. Now, hold Ty and tell me what’s going on.”
That was the easy part of her order, snuggling Tyson with his newborn baby scent and his soft downy hair that had just recently begun to turn red. Bright red. “He’s gonna be a full on fair-skinned ginger,” I told her absently stroking his soft locks.
“Don’t change the subject,” she said with a maternal wag of her finger as she locked the front door. “We’re doing a private shopping sesh to chat. So…chat.”
“I didn’t think you could get bossier but motherhood has turned you into a drill sergeant.” She’d called me every single day since I picked up Max from her house, refusing to let me get away with keeping to myself. At least for a few days, she had.
“Talk.”
I pressed a kiss to Ty’s soft head and held him close, watching as those big blue eyes slowly closed. “It seems like you already think you know something, Vivi. So tell me what you want me to tell you.” It was a bitchy answer but I didn’t want to talk about Zeke. Or New York.
“I know you went to New York with Zeke and I know you came back two days early with a sad bastard set to your shoulders and heartbreak in your eyes. Oh, and I know that he’s been sleeping above the business the past few days.”
Okay so she knew a lot. “There’s nothing more I can add to that,” I told her honestly which worked out perfectly for me because I’d decided, for the sake of my sanity, not to think too hard about what happened in New York. Or why. It was the same way I ignored the pain that squeezed my heart when each day ended without word from Zeke. It was effective.
For now.
I should have felt better about leaving him in New York. Lord knows he deserved it but I couldn’t bring myself to have that kind of sobriety, but I wasn’t there yet. I was still hurt. And angry. Frustrated with myself for giving my heart to yet another person who didn’t want it. For falling for another man who did think I was worth fighting for. But just like with Preston, it was my fault for giving it away too easily. “He said you left him,” she said with accusation in her voice.
I sighed because it was true and because I’d struggled with that the whole plane ride back to Louisiana, but the truth was that he’d abandoned me first. “He’s right, I did. I figured it didn’t matter since he let his parents rip me apart and didn’t come to defense not even once. I’ll bet he didn’t bother to tell you that, did he?” I didn’t care even if he did own up to it, the fact that he’d done it hurt like hell.
“He didn’t tell me any of that, but he did say that he deserved it. All of it.” My best friend stared at me a little too long, her look a little too insightful so I buried my face in Ty’s neck and inhaled deeply. “My question for you, best friend dodger, is can you forgive him?”
I managed to tear myself away from Ty’s powder fresh scent and leveled Vivi with a look. “He hasn’t asked for it so there’s no point thinking about it.” It was a copout. Maybe. Possibly. None of it mattered anyway. “I haven’t spoken to him since we were at his family estate and that tells you exactly what it tells me. Zeke and I are over.” Over before we really even began but I shouldn’t be that surprised because we were fooling ourselves. Just because things had worked out with Vivi and Nash didn’t meant lightning would strike twice.
It so rarely did.
“Now it’s time for both of us to do the adult thing and get quietly divorced so we can all get on with our lives.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It’s reality Vivi and that is all I’m interested in at the moment.” Maybe there was a tiny little part of me that hoped Zeke would magically get over his family issues and come running to me, but that was the silly hopeful part. Not the grownup, single parent, business owner part of me.
“Bullshit,” she spat. “I’m gonna say something right now and I know you won’t like it,” she began and I rolled my eyes and steeled myself for some of Vivi’s patented tough love. “Stop being a scaredy cat.”
I glared but she was undeterred. “I’m not.”
“You are and you damn well know it!” With three lacy bras in one hand, she pointed at me with the other. “You like Zeke and if I had to hazard a guess, I’d say you’re halfway in love with him already and that has you running scared.”
“I’m not running scared,” I assured her as calmly as I could. Not just because being emotional would make her question my feelings but because I didn’t want to wake Ty. His soft, baby weight felt so good. So comforting. “What I’m doing is learning when to cut my losses, Vivi. The same way you did in Chicago. To save yourself.”
“From Zeke?”
I nodded and sighed, turning to put Ty in his stroller since it was clear Vivi wouldn’t let this go. I took in a slow, deep breath and turned to her. “You didn’t see him, Vivi. From the moment he found out his sister was in town, he changed. Turned into someone I didn’t know and hadn’t seen in all the years he’s lived in Belle Musique.” She opened her mouth to defend him, I was sure and I held up a hand to stop her. “I get it. Of all people, I get how family issues can scar you and change how you live your life. And that is exactly why I can’t stick around and hope and wait for Zeke to break my heart.”
“Shit,” she said, her voice full of surprise. “You don’t just halfway love him, you all the way love him.” Her green eyes were wide and genuine shock written all over her face.
“That’s some mighty fine wordsmithing, you should think about being a novelist.”
She laughed but Vivi had a determined expression fixed on her beautiful face. “So you decided to break your own heart before he could?”
“It’s not broken,” I insisted. “A little bruised and cracked, which is preferable to what would happen if I didn’t step back now. It would hurt more later.”
“And what about Max?”
“I am thinking of Max, Vivi! I’ll explain to him that Zeke isn’t going to be living with us anymore and-,”
“No. What I mean is what about Max’s relationship with Zeke. Are you going to sever that one too for the sake of his heart?”
Shit. She had me there. “No, I won’t. Zeke agreed that he would continue to see Max when he could, and if he does then it won’t be an issue.” I crossed my arms as I mentally kicked my own ass for ignoring my first instincts about this fake marriage. “As much as it pains me to say it, Max is as used to being let down by men as I am. He’ll be sad for a while but he’ll understand.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
I shrugged. “Then you should hope that Zeke keeps his word about that, anyway. If he does then we’ll do like every other divorced couple. Share him. Amicably.” I didn’t believe it but that was okay since I didn’t think Zeke would be too eager to play stepdaddy to a kid who wasn’t his.
Vivi grinned and placed a hand over her heart in that, bless your heart, expression all southerners knew well. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you Maddie?”
“No, Vivi, I don’t. But I’m trying my best.” And that was all I could do.
Zeke
“You ratted me out?”
I looked at Nate’s smiling face in disbelief. My own traitorous manager had gone and called my best friend about my shitty attitude.
He wore his satisfied grin like a designer outfit as he inched towards the door, making room for Nash. “Nash here is gonna fix you right up,” he assured me. “You’re scaring the employees and honestly, a few of the customers.” With a wide grin and a laugh, Nate left my office.
The traitor. My gaze swiveled to Nash and my brows rose. “Are you gonna fix me right up?”
“Hell no,” he laughed and dropped down onto the sofa, crossing his sneakered feet at the ankles. “I don’t think I
can fix you, man, but I am going to talk some sense into you.”
I snorted a laugh at his response. “Yeah? How do you plan to do that?”
He shrugged. “Start by telling me what happened in New York.”
“You already know what happened since your nosy wife is the one who pulled it out of me.” Detail by excruciating detail while the sneaky woman plied me with creamy buttery mashed potatoes and as much steak as my stomach could hold, which was a big step up from the small so called avant-garde portions served at the Riley Estate.
Nash nodded thoughtfully, taking a moment to get his thoughts together before his gaze met mine. Seriously. “Okay, I know what you told Vivi and I just have one question. Why? Why in the hell didn’t you stand up for Maddie? Or yourself?” He raked a hand through his hair and blew out a breath, as bewildered by my behavior as I was, even days later.
“I wish I knew man, I really fucking do.” Even now, I shook my head in disbelief and the dinner played over and over in my head. “I was frozen and the whole time she was sticking it to my parents, standing up for herself and for me. I just sat there thinking how proud I was of her, all the while letting them decimate her.” I hated myself for it, so damn much. “I have no excuse. None at all.”
He flashed the smile that used to have every woman in town offering up casseroles and baked goods in hopes to become his lady love and smacked his hands together. “I’d start with an apology. And flowers. Definitely flowers. But then maybe move on to something bigger, like jewelry. And a big, no, a grand gesture. Women love’em.”
That all sounded good. In theory. “What if she won’t talk to me?”
“Make her,” he said like it was just that simple.
“Man what it must be like to be you.” I shook my head at his easy answer. “Maddie probably hates me.”
“Best way to know is to talk to her about it, right?”
“I really hate this foolish logic of yours.” Nash laughed and I joined him but we were interrupted by my buzzing of my phone. “Hang on a sec.” I frowned when the name of the elementary school appeared on my screen. “Hello?”
Accidentally On Purpose: An Accidental Marriage Boxset Page 31
