I text Eli when I pull into his driveway, asking him to come outside. My heart is pounding as I sit in my car, Nika panting heavily beside me, vomit on the floorboards of the passenger seat. Seems my girl gets car sick. Poor thing just can’t catch a break. When I see the front door open up, I get out of my car and wave him over. Nika clambers out the driver side door after me, wrapping her leash around my legs.
“Everything okay?” Eli calls out and Nika freezes, her entire body turning into a statue, eyes as wide as saucers. Men… She’s afraid of men thanks to whatever that bastard did to her. Eli takes two more steps before I hold out my hand and he stops, looking down at the dog who hasn’t moved an inch. She’s staring up at Eli as if she’s just seen a ghost and my heart breaks all over again.
“This is Nika,” I tell him, kneeling down beside my dog. Her muscles are tense, tight, but she slowly leans against my side for comfort. “It’s okay, girl. This is Eli. He’s a good guy, he really is.” To Eli, I say, “I think the man who owned her beat her. She’s a little timid around women, but I’ve never seen her act so scared.”
“It’ll be okay,” Eli says. He slowly sits down in the grass and looks away, his hand stretched out to her. Nika’s nostrils flare but she doesn’t move. I sit near him so that Nika’s at the very end of the six feet of nylon leash, and we begin to talk in soft tones. He asks me about my day and I fill him in on everything. When I hand him the bag of treats, Nika’s ears perk up.
“Hey girl,” Eli murmurs, never looking at her but offering a treat. Cautious, Nika crawls towards us, comes close enough to snatch the goodies, and then retreats again. Just like that first day, just me and her in quarantine. He continues to talk to her, about sweet nothings like the weather and the news and slowly but surely, Nika finds her way to my side. She won’t look at Eli for very long, but she’s wagging her tail a little bit now, glancing up at me every so often. Hoping for reassurance.
The three of us sit in the front yard in the grass for a long time. Eli lays back, his hands laced behind his head as he scours the twilight sky for stars. When I lay down beside him, my skin seeking the warmth of his, Nika wiggles up and licks my face until I’m laughing and can’t breathe.
“What about Mr.Beefy? Shouldn’t he meet her?” I ask, crossing my fingers that they’ll be okay, that they’ll get along and Mr. Beefy doesn’t see her as an intruder on his property. The last thing any of us needs is a dog fight. A shiver winds down my spine at the thought of poor Nika fighting for her life.
Eli sits up. “Yeah we should probably introduce them. I’ll bring him out. Gimme five minutes to find his leash,” he says and takes off across the yard. Almost exactly five minutes later, he’s being dragged back out the door by a very exuberant Beefcake. He sees Nika at the same time Nika spots him and for a moment, time stands still. I don’t dare breathe as he struts up, a little more cocky than usual, and begins to sniff her. His tail is wagging, but it’s stiff and high.
Nika throws herself to her back, legs splayed as her own tail wags furiously. He stands over her, sniffing down her belly and to her butt, as if saying Nice to meet you! Nice smelling butt you have there! and Nika squirms around to greet him, licking at his muzzle. Then their postures seem to loosen and Mr. Beefy gives a bark loud enough to blow back the fur on Nika’s face, but she’s actually wearing a doggy grin, like he’s her long lost best friend and she can’t believe he’s here.
“I think they’re gonna get along just fine,” Eli says with a chuckle. “But you know what this means?”
“No, what?”
“Mr. Beefy’s going to teach your lady the fine art of begging for scraps. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”
He’s right, of course. We eat leftover tuna casserole heated up in the microwave and on one side of me, just like always, is Beefcake. And on the other? You guessed it. And I can’t help myself. Plucking out two peas from my last bite, I hand each dog a tiny, gravy covered green ball and they both gobble it down with thankful eyes.
“You’ve created a monster,” Eli says.
“That’s okay.”
I stay the night at Eli’s, half afraid to take Nika home to my apartment. I’m filled with butterfly worries that my landlord won’t let her stay because she’s not a little ankle biter like the neighbors have, but I can’t control that tonight. Tomorrow I’ll call him and explain the situation. Tonight is just us.
I curl up next to Eli in bed, my legs looping around his. Mr. Beefy climbs onto the end of the mattress and flops on his side with a huff—his usual spot for sleeping—but Nika refuses to join us. She paces around the bedroom, claws clicking on the wooden floor, whining every so often. “C’mon, Nika,” I coax, patting the space beside me. She drops her head and whines again.
“I’ve got an idea,” Eli mumbles, already half asleep, and the two of us gather up the blankets and pillows and move off the bed. He drags an old futon mattress out of the closet and together we make a bed on the floor. Mr. Beefy claims his spot once again at our feet. I relax once more and hold my hand out to Nika.
This time, her tail wagging, she slides down to lay beside me. Not on the mattress, but close enough that I can wrap my arm around her and give her a kiss on the back of her head before I finally fall asleep.
Oh, the things we do for love.
Thirty
Teagan
I’m slammed awake by the sound of frantic barking, jolting to sit upright in bed as I rub at my eyes to be able to see without the blur of sleep. “Nika?” I say, looking around to find her only inches away from me, ears pinned as she grumbles out a low growl. Then I hear the steady buzz-buzz and realize my phone’s vibrating violently across the hardwood, making its way towards a spooked Nika, who’s eying the device like it’s rabid.
I grab my phone and blink against the sudden brightness in the dark room. My first reaction is knee-jerk panic—that it’s Tierney—but upon recognizing the number as Dakota’s, I quickly answer. I press the phone to my ear. Nika grumbles and slides back to the floor with a sigh. “Dakota?” I ask as a yawn threatens to emerge.
It disappears at the sound of crying punctuated by angry curse words as Dakota spits and seethes on the other line. I’m struggling to understand her over through the hiss of static on the phone line, but she’s definitely bawling. “Dakota? What’s wrong? Slow down,” I say, worry knotting my chest and I feel Eli sit up in bed beside me. He reaches for me and I mouth that it’s Dakota.
“I can’t—I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m not even living, Teag! I get up and go to work and come home to deal with everyone’s bullshit and then I go to sleep, just to get up in the morning and go to work again! All I’m doing is existing and I’m sick of it!” she cries. “I-I just want out. I need a break, I need to get away from this fucking state and everything that comes with it. I’m leaving.”
“Where are you going?”
“Away,” she says, her voice cracking. “I’m just… I’m going to get in my car and I’m going to drive until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Okay? I just want to drive away.” She breathes in, sniffling hard, and when she speaks again, she sounds defeated. Like her family finally broke her spirit and I feel tears spring to my eyes, tiny pinpricks of heat. “I can’t take this anymore.”
Eli grabs my arm. “Tell her to come here.”
“Dakota, hold on a sec,” I say, turning back towards him, pulling the phone away from my ear. “What?” My head is spinning, sleep like fog across my brain as I try to wrap myself around what’s going on.
“Bring her here. We already planned it in July, so what does it matter if it’s a little early?”
“She can’t drive all the way here.”
“I already said I’d buy the tickets, didn’t I? Just—bring her here so she can start to heal. Tell her she’s welcome. I’ll wire her the funds.” His nod is firm, his pianist’s hands issuing a shooing motion, and I squeeze his fingers and kiss the knuckles of his left hand. God, my love for him is overflowing.
&
nbsp; I bring the phone back to my ear. There is silence on the other end of the line, punctuated by the softest of sniffling every few moments, like she’s been listening in the whole time and doesn’t know what to say. “Did you hear any of that?” I ask her and she starts crying all over again.
“I just—I can’t, Teagan. I don’t want to be a burden on you guys—”
“Just come. Okay? Just come and get away from them and take a break. You can stay at my place as long as you make friends with my dog.”
She hiccups. “I—you got a dog? When?”
I feel sheepish when I say, “Um, yesterday? I brought home the one I told you about. Nika.” I look down at Nika, who lifts her head at her name, tipping her ears to the side. I smile and pet her with my free hand and she slowly relaxes all over again.
“Are you sure?” She means about coming, not about the dog.
“Positive. I love you, Dakota. I mean it. I want you to be safe.”
“Oh, Teag… Thank you—tell Eli thank you. I…I guess I’ll see you soon? Text me?” she asks, a little breathlessly, and I promise her I will.
As we say our goodbyes and hang up, knowing that in less than 24 hours she’ll be standing in front of me in the flesh, I turn to Eli and give him a huge hug, squeezing him as hard as I can. He makes a sound like he’s strangling to death, which only makes me squeeze him harder.
“I love you,” I say fiercely, knotting my fingers through his hair as I drag him down for a kiss. He obliges and we break apart to catch our breath—and because Nika is suddenly licking Eli’s face as if he’s her long lost best friend. I laugh. “She loves you too, apparently.”
“I can live with that—as long as you don’t mind sharing me,” he teases.
“Not at all, babe.”
~*~
Eli drops Nika and me off at my apartment when we get around to waking up that morning. “Sure you don’t want me to come in and help you?” he calls out the window, truck engine still rumbling.
I stand in the long grass that tickles my toes in these sandals. Nika wraps her leash around my legs and whines and I shake my head. “I’m good. I’ve got it. I’ll text you when it’s time.” Time to pick up Dakota. Dakota is coming here. It sends a thrill shooting straight through me. Eli nods, waves, and drives away and I look down at the now panting Nika. “You ready to see your new digs?” I ask. I take her doggy grin as a yes and, untangling myself, I lead us through the back doors of the building.
Her movements are nervous, skittish, cautious as I half-drag, half-coax her into my apartment and shut the door behind us. She plops down on my feet, looking up at me with a confused expression, and I slip the leash from around her neck and hang it on the back of the door. “Go on. Look around.” I nudge her off my feet and head into the kitchen to gather cleaning supplies.
We spend the next few hours together, me throwing myself 110% into cleaning, scrubbing, and dusting the entire apartment from head to toe while Nika sniffs in all the nooks and crannies, exploring the house. By the time I finish up—or at least get it as good as it gets—I’m sweaty and tired, but my anxiety is a thing of the past. Thank god. I grab a bottle of ice water and flop down on the couch. Nika crawls out from under my feet, dust bunnies adorning her head like a crown, and I laugh.
Later I take her to the pet store and walk her up and down the aisles as I check things off my list. Dog bowls, dog food, a brush, some treats, and lastly, a collar and leash. I pick out a striking nylon collar in teals and browns with a shiny bronze clasp that matches her fur perfectly. The leash matches, of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The cashier who rings me up is a pretty redhead who starts talking animatedly to Nika, who turns shy and hides behind my legs like a little kid, and the girl smiles. “I have one just like her. Afraid of his own shadow. She a rescue?” she asks as she keys something into the cash register, soft beeps emanating up between us. “Do you want to sign up for a rewards tag?”
I blink. “Uh, what is that? And yes and no; she’s from the shelter where I work, but she was definitely abused in her past home. So I guess that kind of makes her a rescue?”
“She’ll get braver,” she promises me, then goes on to explain the perks of their little rewards tag. I sign up for it since a) it’s free and b) it’ll save me money in the long run. I even get ten percent off my first purchase. We exchange information for a cute little orange tag with a dog bone on it. “Have a nice day now! Bye-bye, Nika,” she says and Nika even lets her pet her. I walk out of the pet store feeling more than a little proud of my dog.
Evening rolls around all too soon—we’re due to pick Dakota up from the airport anytime now—and my stomach begins to rumble and roll like there’s a storm brewing deep inside of me. At six-thirty, I let Nika outside one last time and then give her a goodbye kiss and a bone to chew on and jog outside to meet Eli.
He gives me one of his famous grins when I swing the door open and climb up into his truck. Something catches the light and I look back, half expecting to see Jake. Instead, sitting in the back seat on a large cardboard sign, are the words: Welcome home, Dakota! in bright, glittery letters. “Figured she could use the pick me up,” he says by way of explanation and I have to resist the urge to jump his bones right then and there. I settle for hand-holding all the way to the airport, the radio blaring an old Maroon 5 CD—a mutual favorite of ours—and we sing the words at the top of our lungs as the AC blows on high.
“I’m nervous,” I blurt out when we park, unable to keep the words in any longer, like they’ve grown up in vines from my stomach, up my throat and out into the world from my open mouth. My heart is beating a ratta-tat-tat against my ribcage and my hands are a little bit shaky. I tell myself it’s just anxiety and breathe through it.
“I know,” he replies, smooth and calm like the ocean. “But everything will be okay. I know it will.” He reaches to the back to grab his sign and together we walk through the echoing building, looking for the drop off terminal. The buzz and chatter of the airport is loud to my ears as we stand there, side by side, Eli holding up the sign like a giant banner, and Dakota emerges from the crowd, a travel case rolling along behind her.
She looks up and around, looking lost, her dark hair tangled and pulled away from her face in a messy twist, her face pale with purple thumbprints underneath both eyes; I can tell she wears no makeup—and that says something about Dakota. She’s the queen of eyeliner and lip stain, the more dramatic the better. The bright fluorescents hanging high above us sparkle off her silver facial jewelry. I reach out and wave my arms and Eli lifts his sign. Dakota looks at us like a deer caught in the headlights as she hesitates, then stumbles forwards.
This is it, for better or for worse. I swallow back my fear and then, spurred on by the sudden, deep emotions swirling within me, I run to greet her and before I know what I’m doing, I’ve wrapped her up in a tight hug. She stiffens beneath me for a moment, then pats my back and sags against me, like this entire trip has drained her of everything she is. “Teagan… Thank you. So much. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
“I don’t want you to,” I tell her. I gently grab her arm and lead her over to where Eli stands with his big, gaudy sign.
“Eli. Teagan.” She glances between us, her brows pinched together as her lower lip wibbles, as if she might start crying at any given moment. She sucks in this huge breath and lets it out slowly, lets it seep between her teeth. Then she hugs Eli with the force of a tornado, quick and fierce, before blushing a deep red. “Thank you both.” She sees the sign and grins despite the exhaustion lining her face. “I like your sign.”
“I’m glad,” Eli tells her.
The ride home is awkward and a little tense, but not as bad as I expected. Eli keeps the conversation between us flowing, light and carefree, and it’s hard to believe but pretty soon it’s just like talking over Skype, being true to ourselves and true to each other. I think all of us are nervous as we get back into town, but it’s nothing we
can’t handle, right?
“Here we are,” I announce as we roll up, motioning to my apartment building, red brick and mortar and windows that need replacing. It’s never been anything much, but suddenly I want her to like it. “Home sweet home.”
“Let’s do this,” Dakota says boldly, hopping out of the truck, dragging her suitcase down behind her. It lands with a soft clatter of wheels against pavement.
“You need help with anything?” Eli asks, leaning halfway out his window.
I reach up and give him a quick peck. “I think we’ve got it. Thanks, though. I’ll text you!”
“Love you,” he says with a wink and drives away, leaving the two of us alone.
I look at Dakota, really look at her, and find myself smiling. “Ready for the grand tour?”
“To be honest?” She laughs. “I’m scared shitless.”
“Me too,” I admit with a sheepish smile. “But it’s happening. You’re here.”
“I am. Now show me this beautiful house of yours.”
As soon as I unlock the door, we’re bombarded by Nika who’s bouncing and wiggling and panting, like she can’t believe I left her alone for so long and for the tiniest of moments, I feel a wave of sheer terror at the thought of her tearing up carpet or chewing through a wall in an attempt to find me. I give the living room and kitchen a quick one-over—in perfect condition, bless her heart—and let out a sigh of relief.
“This is Miss Nika,” I say, bending down to Nika’s level. As soon as she sees Dakota, she gives a low whine and ducks behind my legs. She peeks out from between my calves and Dakota bends down and offers a hand, which Nika sniffs gingerly. “She’s a little shy. If you ignore her, she’ll come around,” I tell Dakota, who nods. “C’mon, I’ll show you the place.”
I give her the grand tour, even going so far as to show her my bedroom and all of the closets, and it’s weird, like an invasion of privacy that I’m handing over to her willingly. “Like I said, it’s nothing much,” I start, but Dakota shakes her head fiercely, dark hair snapping back and forth. In the light, I see the navy blue dye at the very underside of her hair.
Neverlost (Melodies and Memories) Page 18
