“Miles, talk to me.”
“We’re done.”
“What?” The word left her mouth before she realized she spoke. With his odd behavior, she had no idea what he was talking about. What was done?
“We’re done,” he repeated. “That’s it. I’m leaving.”
“You’re…” Saundra hugged her arms around herself as she tried to process what he was saying. “You just got home. Where are you going?”
Miles rubbed one of his eyes roughly with the palm of his hand and she realized he was crying but trying to not show it. “Saundra, I’m leaving you. We’re done. I’m just grabbing some stuff and then I’m leaving.”
“No you’re not.” After everything they’d gone through she was surprised by her defiant response, but it was as true to who she was as anything she’d ever said. Before, he had been spiraling down, satisfied to let his life dissolve into nothing. Now, though, something was wrong. He wasn’t breaking up with her because he was unhappy with her. She could see it all over him, from head to toe. This was a full attitude change in the span of hours. Something had happened.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he said and walked past her. “This just isn’t working out.”
“Bull,” she said, following him down the hallway. “I’m not letting you just leave me. Not now. Not after everything we’ve been through for years. Years, Miles.”
“That’s why I’m leaving! It’s been years. It’s obvious this isn’t going to work out. We should just cut our losses and let that be that.”
“That’s not good enough. That’s not nearly good enough.”
Finally he spun around, throwing his arms out. “What do you want from me?”
“Answers.” She cocked one foot to the side and crossed her arms. She could tell he was upset, but she was expecting anger. In the dark twilight coming from the one light on in the kitchen, what she saw on his face wasn’t anger, but frustration.
“It’s not safe,” he said, his voice breaking. “For your own good, you need to stay as far away from me as possible.”
“Miles, talk to me. What happened?”
“I messed up, Saundra. I messed up bad.”
“Tell me what’s wrong. We can fix it. We’ll work through—“
“No!” He shoved past her and strode down the hall. She called after him, but without looking back, he left the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Saundra flinched at the sound and stood in the relative darkness of the hallway, alone.
Saundra sat at her desk, grading papers. She hadn’t heard from Miles in days. Not a call, not a text, nothing. She’d tried to get in touch with him, but he just sent her right to voicemail. Emails, texts, everything all left read yet unanswered.
She tried calling all of their friends, but none of them had heard from him. If any were lying about it, they were damn good liars. She spent a couple nights going to all of the bars she knew he liked to go to. Nothing. No one had even seen him, or anyone like what she described, come in for a while.
In all her life she’d never felt so lost. It was one thing when they were fighting. He was still there. Now, though, she felt the emptiness that he left behind. When a funny commercial came on, her first instinct was to tell him about it. Now she couldn’t. When she thought of food, sleep, work, anything, he came to mind.
Their lives had been so intrinsically entwined for so long, everything she did involved him or thoughts of him in some way. To be without him was to be without half of her life. All she could do was hope he would get in touch with her again, and get on with her life in the meantime.
Moping at home wouldn’t solve anything, even though she could never quite talk herself into exactly why she had to get out of bed every day. She simply did it because running on autopilot was easier than anything else.
When she got home that day, there was a large manila package waiting in their mailbox. It was addressed to Miles, but the return label had some attorney guy on it. Whatever it was, it would concern both of them. She sat down on the couch and hoped for answers as she tore open the package.
Inside was a mountain of paperwork detailing something about a child and back pay for child support. Could this have been the issue? Did he think she would be mad if she found out? The only thing she was upset about was that he felt he couldn’t trust her with this. After everything they’d been through, this was something actually out of his control. If anything, they could refute the claim and demand a DNA test. Four years was a long time to wait to claim someone as a father. They had to have the right to protest it.
Saundra slapped the papers down on the coffee table and sighed thinking that maybe she was seeing a bigger, clearer picture of what was going on.
Miles shouldered his way into the motel room that had become his home for the last few days. The paper grocery bags crumped as he set them on the small cheap table beside the door. On the table beside the bed, his cell phone rang.
He stopped taking it with him because of all the times Saundra was trying to contact him. She was such an engrained part of his soul, that every time she called, every time the phone lit up with a text from her, it gave his heart a painful thrill. It was getting harder and harder to refuse her. He missed her so desperately it was physically painful. He walked over to the phone and looked down to see a picture of Saundra’s smiling face look up at him. There was that racing of the heart.
He turned away from it and went to put the cans of beans and premade spaghetti against the wall with the other food and cracked open a can of soda. He was trying to cut back on the drinking, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was drink himself into a stupor and never wake up. Instead of just a missed call, the phone lit up again to denote a message.
When he went over to check it again, he saw she left a voicemail. That was new. After a moment’s debate, he decided to listen to it. He’d be able to hear her voice without actually having to talk to her. That was okay, wasn’t it? It wouldn’t hurt anything. He just needed to hear her, to hear that she was okay. Even if she was angry, at least she’d be alive and unhurt.
When her voicemail started, the strength went out of his legs and he plopped onto the edge of the bed. Had her voice always been so sweet? She explained that the package arrived for him. He cringed, expecting her to chew him out but instead she said she wasn’t angry, and she wished he felt he could talk to her about this. Now that she knew, though, she didn’t see why he had to stay gone. If only it was that simple. He hung up without deleting the voicemail, just so he could hear her voice again whenever he wanted.
The phone lit up and rang in his hands. He was so emotional that the sudden action startled him and he nearly dropped the phone. It was Saundra again. He shouldn’t answer it, he knew that, but his thumb hovered over the green button anyway. He couldn’t let her believe that the kid was the only reason he left. She’d be so confused if he didn’t come back now. He couldn’t leave her like that. He sighed and closed his eyes. Lying to himself didn’t help anyone. All he wanted was to hear her voice and to talk to her again. He needed to be grounded. Without her, he waivered in the wind like silk strands.
Answering the call, he held it to his ear, but couldn’t bring himself to speak.
“Hi,” she said tentatively.
“Hi.”
“You’re there,” she said, and he could hear the relief in her voice. “Did you listen to my message?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, then you can come home.”
“No,” he said, knowing he shouldn’t have answered this.
“Why?” The pain in her voice was like a razor against his chest.
“Saundra, please, it’s not as simple as that.”
“Can we talk about it? Meet me somewhere if you won’t come home. Just talk to me.”
The word “no” formed in his mind, but he was having difficulty forcing it down to his mouth. He needed to tell her no, he needed to hang up the phone right that instant. “Please.” The tiny
, pathetic plea was too much. His will crumbled.
“All right.”
Despite his better judgement, he agreed to meet her later that night in a small restaurant just outside of town. He hoped the location would be far enough away that Boss wouldn’t find out. The last thing Miles wanted to do was put Saundra in danger because of his own selfish need to see her. As he thought about being near her again, the joy in his heart was nearly too much to bear.
It was so ridiculous to be so excited about seeing someone, right? He smiled at his phone after hanging up with her, running his thumb over her picture.
He’d never love anyone again like he loved her. It was a bittersweet truth, but one he had to accept.
Saundra idly tore her straw wrapper into tiny pieces as she waited for Miles to show up. When he did, she almost squealed at the sight of him.
He came in, and though he spotted her right away, he kept looking around as though he was looking for her. Even as he walked toward her table, he was looking out the windows and around them. He searched so fervently that it got her looking around, too, as though she could see whatever it was he was looking for.
She stood up to give him a hug, but he purposely pulled out a chair and sat down without touching her. She didn’t bring attention to it. Things right now were so ridiculously delicate that she didn’t want to do anything to start an argument. That wasn’t why she was there. Something was wrong, and she was determined to find out what it was.
“How are you?” she asked him.
He gave a snort and a nervous half smile before picking up the menu and glancing at it. The waitress came by asking for their order before Saundra could say more.
“Yeah, can I get a coffee and a slice of this pie here?” Miles said, pointing at the bottom of the menu.
“Yep,” the waitress said, smiling to Saundra. “And for you?”
“Uhh, coffee, I guess.”
“You don’t want anything to eat?” Miles asked her.
“I’m not hungry, Miles.”
The waitress smiled, obviously ignoring the tension between them. “Great, I’ll get that for you.”
Miles set down the menu, drummed his fingers against it and looked out the window again.
“Who are you looking for, Miles?”
“Things are not okay,” he said. He turned and looked at her, and for the first time, she could see the fear in his eyes. “I started working for a man. A bad man. I didn’t realize how bad until I tried to stop. When I did, he threatened to…” Miles looked away, then down at the table. “He threatened you.”
“That’s why you left.”
He nodded. “That’s why I left.”
Saundra opened her mouth, but the waitress was back with the coffee and his pie. She wanted to ask him more, but didn’t know what exactly she wanted to know.
She watched him prep his coffee and stir it around. He took a bite of the pie, but the motion seemed entirely mechanical, no joy or hunger in it at all.
“Why?” Out of everything she could’ve asked, that was what she needed to know the most. “Why did you start working for him, Miles? This was after my father offered you a job, right? Why didn’t you just take the damn job!”
“Hardly matters now,” he said around a mouthful of pie.
“I think now is when it matters the most. Look at us, Miles. We’re meeting in some clandestine diner outside of town? I haven’t seen you in days. I think right now is exactly when it matters.”
He sighed and set down the fork as he chewed the bite of pie and took a sip of his coffee. Folding his arms to rest his elbows on the table, he avoided eye-contact as he said, “There’s really no point in defending anything I’ve done. I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I couldn’t hold a job, that I couldn’t do anything right. When I found out about the kid and the child support, I… I lost it. I was convinced I was going to lose you. It was the straw to break your back, as it were.”
He rubbed his face with a hand, as though he could wipe away the shame, but it was still on his face, clear as anything. It made her want to hold him and make the world fall away.
“To top it off, I knew I couldn’t get a job otherwise. Your dad’s offer was nice. I’ve had time to think about how I reacted, and I’m sorry. Tell him I’m sorry, okay? I get what he was doing, but at the time, I was just so lost in my despair. I was furious that I needed his help, which made me want to refuse it on principle. If I was going to be worthy of you, worthy to myself, I needed to get this fixed myself. So, I started working for a guy that promised me a lot of money.”
Saundra reached across the table and took his hand. “Come home, Miles. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together. I’m not mad, I just want you home. Please.”
He looked at her hand and gave it a squeeze. She could feel his fingers shaking in her grip.
“I can’t. It’s too dangerous. We can’t be together. It’s too big of a risk.”
“What are you going to do? You can’t live the rest of your life like this.”
“What else can I do?”
She looked at him, and when he raised his eyes to meet hers, she held his gaze. “We come at him sideways.”
Miles’ heart hammered in his chest more fiercely than it had ever beat before. It was a struggle to keep his breathing slow and steady, and to sit in the passenger seat of that car and pretend like nothing was going on. He was having such second thoughts about this whole thing, but he was committed. He couldn’t back out now.
“So where are we going tonight?” he asked as casually as he could manage.
“You’ll see.”
“What’s the job?”
“You seem out of sorts,” Boss said, glancing over to him. “Feeling all right?”
“Yep, I just want to know what to expect.”
“I’ve always appreciated that about you. You’re a man that likes to prepare. That’ll do well for you in the future. Keep your head on straight, and you’ll go far in this business.”
Miles gave a sardonic laugh. “The business of beating people up for money?”
“What?” Boss asked, laughing. “Of course not. I’m talking about business. Really, this kind of mentality can be applied to any business venture. Not just what we’re doing.”
Damnit! Miles needed to get him to specifically say what they were doing, but he couldn’t think of how to get Boss talking without making it obvious that’s what he wanted.
“So,” Miles tried again, “you still never answered me.”
“We have a silent partner that’s invested a substantial amount in our growing upstart. We’re going to speak with him about his investment and repay him for his trust in us. He’ll be pleased to see us.”
Miles looked out the window, and bite the meat of his thumb in frustration. They drove for what must’ve been a dozen blocks before Boss spoke again.
“Miles, you really seem out of sorts. Are you still wanting out of our little agreement?”
“Yes,” Miles said quickly. Possibly a little too quickly. If he could get Boss to threaten him or Saundra again, that would be just as good.
Boss gave a slow exhale. “Tell you what, since you don’t seem to be feeling well, how about I drop you off at home? I can handle the investment meeting alone. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, and we’ll do one last job. Do that for me, and we’ll call it even, and your debt to me will be forgiven.”
Debt? That’s what he was calling it now? Miles didn’t owe him a damn thing! Still, this could work. “All right, what’s the job?”
“I have some goods coming in from… out of town. I just need you to stand there and look pretty. It’s important for my partners to put faces to their contacts. Can you do that for me?”
It wasn’t anything terrible like Miles was hoping for, but hell, if Boss really was going to let him out of this just that easy, he’d be a fool not to take it.
After getting the info for the meetup, Boss dropped him off at the bar where his bike was parked. For the fir
st time in a while, Miles was feeling hopeful.
The next day he arrived at the warehouse location. The police were already setup all around him. The idea was to get Boss’s confession on tape. That didn’t work, but the next best thing was to catch him in the act of buying some illegal goods, which was what they assumed this was. All Miles had to do was play it cool, and when they had him in the act, the police would rush in and take care of business.
Miles nervously walked into the space. It was cold, and empty. Water dripped somewhere, splashing into a shallow puddle and echoing in the harsh space filled with nothing but gray, sharp lines.
In the middle of the room, amidst the empty shelves and broken crates, was a chair. On that chair sat a phone. It rang. Miles gave one last cursory glance around and went to the phone and answered it. On the other end was a long, deep sigh.
“Miles, buddy, I warned you,” Boss said. In the background, Miles could hear a muffled voice, feminine and afraid.
“Please,” Miles begged. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, we’re way past sorry. If you want to see her again, alive, and in a single piece, you better book it to the address I’m texting you. Come alone. If I see one little piggie piggie, I got off her hand one finger at a time.”
ROMANCE: THE SHEIKH'S GAMES: A Sheikh Romance Page 24
