by Diane Lennox
“No! Not if I get stuck with a bunch of noobs then it’s still back to the two vs one problem! Or possibly five vs one!” Pasha exclaimed. The teams were five people for each side in a regular match.
“You big baby,” Rafe said with a roll of his eyes. “We’ll change up the teams too so it’s not always us ganging up on you.”
“We’d better,” Pasha said with a little bit of a glare. He wasn’t going to have fun if he had to play both of them at once. He had no doubt they were going to be good.
“We will, now go get your stuff and meet us at the eastern tram station.”
“Yeah yeah, bossy pants,” Pasha said with a roll of his eyes before hurrying off to his locker to exchange some books and grab his coat. “Ah fuck,” he cursed to himself as he realized something rather important. He should be letting his brothers know where he’ll be, but he hadn’t actually gotten around to telling them about his new friendships. Luckily for Pasha, they were all at work right now, so he could safely text them and not get grilled until later.
He closed up his locker, pulled out his phone, then texted his brothers in their group text that he was going over to Soren’s house with Soren and Rafe. He also made sure to add that everything was okay, he wasn’t joking, and that he’d explain when he got home later.
After that was done he hurried to the east tram station and as promised Rafe and Soren were waiting for him.
“So, uh, should we be inviting Paris-khan too?” Pasha asked once they were on the tram and on their way to the Warrick household.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Rafe replied with a little tilt of his head.
“Does he play computer games?”
“I highly doubt it,” Rafe said. “Perhaps we could all hang out soon though and do something else we would all enjoy. Assuming, of course, you’d like to do that, Pasha.”
“Yeah, if you’re okay with that,” Pasha said. He was interested in meeting the hunter and he also wanted to get to know him better if he was going to be a bigger part of Rafe’s life.
“I am,” Rafe said.
“And you, Soren?” Pasha asked.
“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.”
Pasha sighed. “If you’re going to be really pissy about it then I won’t come. I don’t want to make things awkward for Rafe.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.”
“Boys,” Rafe said, obviously trying to stop the bickering before it got out of hand. “You can fight it out soon enough when we play Realm Lords.”
“Looking forward to it,” Pasha said with a challenging grin.
“You’ll be changing that tune soon enough,” Soren said with a smug smirk of his own.
Rafe groaned. “Gods help me.”
Pasha laughed. “Ah come on, I bet you’re just as competitive once you start playing.”
“He is,” Soren said. “Though he pouts horribly when he loses.”
“So do you!” Rafe cried.
Pasha just laughed more. “Adorable.”
“And you don’t pout?” Rafe challenged, obviously taking advantage of the knowledge that Pasha would be unable to lie.
“I do, but I have no problems with being upset when I don’t win. I like that I want to win all the time, I think it’s a good trait,” Pasha replied.
“You would,” Rafe replied with a little roll of his eyes. “Though I doubt you look as cute as I do when I pout.”
“Probably not, but I’m not as cute as you are in the first place,” Pasha said then shuddered. “And Soren probably looks horrendous. Sorry, but you’re not anywhere cute enough to pull off pouting.”
“Fuck off,” Soren said, giving Pasha a little push.
“Hey!” Cried the conductor from the front of the tram. “You boys behave back there!”
“Yes, sir!” Pasha called back then stuck his tongue out at Soren. “Stop getting us into trouble, Soren.”
“I blame you entirely.”
“You would.”
For the rest of the trip they managed to behave themselves and once they got off the tram it was a short walk to the Warrick household.
“By the fucking trees, is this a house or a fortress?” Pasha asked, gawking at the house in front of them. It wasn’t overly large, but it looked so unforgiving with its dark grey bricks and wrought iron bars on the windows.
“I like thinking of it as our little fortress,” Soren said, seeming quite proud of his home. “And you’d better behave inside of it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Pasha muttered with a roll of his eyes. “I’m not a total animal, you know.”
“I have a lot of evidence saying otherwise.”
Rafe just ignored them and went past them and inside the house, busying himself with taking off his shoes and coat.
“Oi! Wait up for us!” Pasha cried and followed Rafe inside.
However, Soren seemed to want to get there before Pasha, and the two of them pushed and shoved at each other as they struggled through the doorway, nearly falling on their faces as they toppled inside.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Rafe said with an exasperated groan. “You two are ridiculous.”
“I won!” Pasha cried, ignoring Rafe.
“It was a tie you idiot,” Soren said and smacked the back of Pasha’s head.
“Ow!”
“Who are you hitting, Soren?” Asked a voice that didn’t belong to any of the three boys.
Pasha looked up and immediately froze. He knew of Shar Warrick, but he’d never seen the man in person, and he wished it had remained that way. The man had skin as dark as night and wore a suit just as dark. The only specks of light seemed to come from the whites of his eyes, the flash of his teeth, and the faded scars that decorated his face. It was like seeing a predator peeking out from the shadows.
Soren bowed his head in greeting to his father as did Rafe, so Pasha did as well, even if he was scared to take his eyes off the man.
“Hello, father. This is Pasha Scarlett, he’s a… classmate of ours. I’ve spoken of him before,” Soren said, seeming at a loss as to how describe his relationship with Pasha.
“You have, but not in particularly good terms. Has something changed or should I expect bloodshed in your room?” Shar Warrick asked.
Pasha looked to Soren and could see his copper skin flush with what was likely embarrassment, though Pasha couldn’t blame him. Being outed by your father like that was pretty damned awkward.
“The only bloodshed will be the fake kind on our computers, sir,” Rafe said, stepping forward. “And though our relationship with Pasha has been mostly antagonistic, our mutual respect for each other has turned into an interest in friendship.”
Shar Warrick’s dark eyes turned to Pasha and bore into him so forcefully Pasha felt as if his very soul was being assaulted.
“It’s true, father,” Soren said. “And whatever shouting you hear from our room I promise it’s good natured. Pasha has poor volume control when he gets excited.”
“I’m not sure how well you know hunters, Pasha, but we’re protective of our children. Just remember that the only thing standing between me and you is Soren.”
“Yes, sir,” Pasha said, feeling faint with how fast the blood drained from his face upon being so blatantly threatened.
“Good,” Shar Warrick said then walked off.
“By the fucking trees,” Pasha whispered and put a hand over his heart. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here? I’d really like to continue living for a good long while.”
Soren looked to him, his eyes softer than usual. It reminded Pasha of the way Soren had looked at him when he had been worried about him last week. “I’m sorry about that, seriously. He’s very intense when it comes to his children and all he knows about you is that I think of you as basically my enemy.”
“Ah, yeah, that would do it,” Pasha said then smirked. “To be honest I’m expecting an awkward conversation later myself when I get home. I, uh, said the same sort of thin
g to my brothers about you.”
“I’m not surprised. As for my father though, you don’t have to worry, I wouldn’t let him do anything to you besides glare,” Soren said.
Pasha gave him an incredulous look. “And I’m supposed to believe that you could actually stop him if he decided to do something? Pretty sure he could kill me in like two seconds. With his eyes closed.”
Soren smirked. “He probably could, but he won’t. Now come on, I’m tired of standing around in the foyer.”
Pasha nodded in agreement then took off his shoes and coat and followed Soren and Rafe upstairs with his backpack slung over his shoulder.
The rest of the house was just about as cold looking on the inside as it was outside – lots of greys, blacks, and iron details everywhere. As they stepped into Soren’s room, however, it was warmer, with hints of dark reds everywhere and softer fabrics throughout.
“Oh my gods!” Pasha cried as he looked to Soren’s oversized four poster bed complete with drapes along all four sides. “I’m so fucking jealous! Your bed is amazing!”
“… I’m not sure how to react to you commenting on my bed,” Soren said.
“Ew, Soren!” Pasha cried, his face quickly heating up. “I wasn’t thinking about anything like that, you pervert!”
“Sure you weren’t,” Soren said and turned on his desktop computer at his large desk. “Now come set up.”
“If there’s room, fuck,” Pasha said, looking over Soren’s set up with envy. Dual screens, top of the line mouse and keyboard, and a few cameras and cords lying about.
“Like your room is any different,” Soren said and moved things about so that Pasha and Rafe could sit on either ends of the desk with their laptops.
Pasha didn’t reply, he just went about getting his laptop out of his bag. His setup wasn’t near as impressive.
“Seriously? You don’t have something like this at home?” Soren asked, cocking an eyebrow at him after Pasha didn’t say anything for a bit.
“No,” Pasha said quietly. He had to respond sometime.
“But why not? It’s not as if your family is poor, they could get you the proper tools for your trade,” Soren said.
“Just leave it,” Pasha said. He didn’t want to get into why he didn’t have the nicer stuff.
“But–”
“Don’t, Soren,” Rafe said, stepping in. “And go get us some chairs.”
Soren looked like he wanted to argue, but thankfully he didn’t, and simply exited the room.
“Thanks,” Pasha said quietly.
“I don’t think he was trying to be a prick this time. I think he was just genuinely curious,” Rafe said.
“I know, but I’d still rather not get into it.”
“Alright,” Rafe said just as Soren came back with two chairs and set them up for Pasha and Rafe.
“We’ll play together on a team to warm up,” Soren said. “But then after that we’re splitting up.”
“You’re on,” Pasha said, glad to turn his thoughts back to gaming. After making videos it was his favourite thing to do.
Gods damn it, Pasha suddenly cursed inwardly at himself, he’d nearly forgotten something rather important.
“Fuck, Rafe, you were supposed to give me more details of what’s going on with your family,” Pasha said, looking over the top of his laptop and across the desk to Rafe.
“Oh, right,” Rafe said with a little sigh. “Well when I told my family that my future lied with my friends my father and grandfather decided they’d have to disown me to send a message to everyone that they don’t approve of what I’m doing.”
“Fuck,” Pasha swore, not sure what else to say to that.
“Indeed. However, I got a surprise visit from my older brother, Evgeni, yesterday, and he announced that he was going to be moving back here permanently and that he was going to support me in my decision and try to get everything back to normal.”
“Do you believe him?” Pasha asked. He knew from Ezra that Evgeni had been living abroad for ten years so it was likely him and Rafe weren’t close.
“I didn’t entirely at first, but a couple hours after Evgeni visited me I got a call from my grandfather saying that they weren’t going to disown me. I’m still not allowed to return home though.”
“Well that’s a start!”
“It is, and I’ll take it,” Rafe said, a small smile gracing his scarred face. “I’d prefer to remain a Desjardins, even if it’s only in name right now.”
Pasha just nodded. If it were him he’d be too pissed to stay a Desjardins, but he supposed that even if Rafe’s family was being ridiculous they were still family, and Pasha could see why he’d want to mend that broken bridge.
“Now I think it’s time to play,” Rafe said. “Log in, Pasha.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Pasha said and went about logging in. “Tell me your screen name so I can add you.”
“Eclipse,” Rafe replied.
Pasha smirked. “I like it,” he said then typed it in. “Okay, I sent the friend invite.”
“Um.”
“What?” Pasha asked then looked over at Rafe who was suddenly looking rather pale. “Shit, are you alright, Rafe?”
“Um… Just… Just accept the game invite,” Rafe replied.
“Okay…” Pasha said slowly, watching Rafe with a strange expression. What the fuck was going on?
He clicked on the game invite, looked to the names listed, and turned even whiter than Rafe.
“No.”
The single word held a startling amount of emotion, though that was likely because it wasn’t said just by one person.
Soren and Pasha had said it together.
“This isn’t fucking funny,” Pasha said, looking between Soren and the screen names listed in the game lobby.
“No shit it isn’t fucking funny,” Soren said. “Prove it. Prove that you’re him and this isn’t some sick fucking joke.”
“Then you do it too,” Pasha said and tabbed out of his game and pulled up the internet browser so he could log on to his vidding channel.
“Fine,” Soren replied stiffly.
The clicking of keyboard keys never sounded so violent and ominous to Pasha before.
“I’m at my dashboard,” Pasha said.
“So am I,” Soren replied and stood.
Pasha did the same then the two of them circled around each other as if they were about to fight and not simply glance at each other’s computers.
Then Pasha looked down at Soren’s screen and saw the account name written plainly at the top of the page.
ShadowDarling.
Pasha fell into Soren’s chair, his legs no longer able to support him.
Why? Why, Gods, why?
On some level Pasha knew it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. He hadn’t spoken to ShadowDarling. He hadn’t known his name. He hadn’t known anything about him, and really, that should have made things better. Wouldn’t have it been worse if Pasha had gotten to know him, fell for him, then afterwards realize it was Soren? Wasn’t that how these things usually went?
Except as awful as that would have been, this seemed worse. Pasha would never get a chance to enjoy that sort of fantasy now. He wouldn’t get to fall in love with the stranger he had admired from afar and who would, if the fantasy played out, fall for him in return. Fuck, he wouldn’t even get to hear a kind word from him, never mind some stupid fantasy of falling in love!
There was wetness pooling in Pasha’s eyes and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to cry in front of these two.
He shot up out of the chair and shoved past Soren as he quickly went about packing up his computer.
“Pasha, wait, where are you going?” Rafe asked.
“Home,” Pasha replied, hating that his voice was cracking. “Sorry, Rafe, I just don’t want to be here right now. We’ll hang out later, I promise.”
“Alright,” Rafe conceded, his voice sounding uncharacteristically concerned.
Pasha just nodded
and sniffed before hurrying out of the room, refusing to look up at either Rafe or Soren as he did so.
He all but ran out of the house, not even doing up his shoes or coat in his hurry. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was going to feel the cold right now anyways.
The trip home was a blur. In fact he couldn’t really recall any of it when he entered his quiet home.
He threw his shoes and coat on the floor then made his way upstairs to his room, dropping his bag by his desk.
Fuck. His desk. With his middle of the line computer and single screen where he made videos hoping to impress… To impress…
Pasha fell to the floor and cried. It was loud and it was ugly, but he didn’t fucking care anymore.
Everything was ruined. Gods, why? Why couldn’t they have let him pretend for just a little while? Why did they have to take away the one chance Pasha had at romance? He knew he was short and barely average looking and way too high energy for most people to stand. And sexy? Fuck, Pasha knew he had zero sex appeal. It probably didn’t help that he was painfully virgin. He hadn’t even kissed anyone.
Why hadn’t he just talked to ShadowDarling sooner? Why did he have to be such a fucking coward? It had been his one chance to have someone he respected get to know him without all of his usual flaws getting in the way.
What he’d give to just have had a few months of neither of them knowing. Yeah, it would have been awful and awkward to realize it was Soren later, but at least he would have known Soren better too. He could have probably seen past Soren’s awful exterior and seen that there was something good in there, but now he couldn’t. ShadowDarling never got to have a personality or dreams or quirks. He was now forever just the Soren Pasha knew. The Soren that looked down at him and barely tolerated him.
And it was heartbreaking.
Episode 5
It was a very rare occurrence, but once in a blue moon Leander Kane didn’t want to be anywhere near his brother, and the evening after meeting up with Alexei was one of those times.
He really should have been focusing on the new theory he had come up with concerning his father and Marius, but instead he was curled up on the couch in their living room thinking of Simon’s hands on Alexei. It wasn’t just that he was frustrated at Simon for not giving him any sort of physical attention, because that was certainly frustrating him, it was that after seeing the two embrace he couldn’t help but feel a little curious as well. He’d never been held by a man the way Simon had held Alexei, though it wasn’t like Leander had never been offered the opportunity before, because he had, especially since starting university. Unfortunately though, for all the men who had asked to court him, Leander had both high standards and not a whole lot of active interest in courting or any sort of sexual fling.
