by Diane Lennox
Ezra’s face scrunched up and he shook his head. “No. Not with him.”
“Then who with?” Evgeni asked, praying to the gods Ezra’s mouth would react before his brain, because the way Ezra said that made it sound like there was someone whose clothes he wanted to tear off.
Ezra’s eyes suddenly widened and Evgeni cursed inwardly at the missed opportunity. Now it was going to get difficult.
“Please don’t ask,” Ezra said, looking near desperate.
“You know I have to,” Evgeni replied. “Whoever this other person is is going to be the key to you expressing that side of yourself.”
“Fucking hells,” Ezra swore and then downed his drink for the second time. “You can tease me about Marius and Lazarus, and I know you will, but you can’t tease me about this other man. You can’t mention any of this outside of this room.”
“I won’t,” Evgeni promised even though he didn’t want to. He knew Ezra wasn’t going to say a word if he didn’t promise to keep his mouth shut and they needed to talk about this. Evgeni wasn’t going to fail Ezra twice.
Ezra took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can say his name.”
“Then don’t yet. Tell me other things about him instead.”
“Alright. Well, he’s beautiful. More beautiful than Marius in some ways to me. Besides my father, Lucifer, I think he’s possibly the most beautiful man I’ve ever known. He reminds me of a doll, though he’s far from breakable. At least physically. He’s… he’s a wendigo. So he’s got those deep set eyes and gaunt cheeks, but he makes it look so beautiful, sort of like how very ill people sometimes get a strange, ethereal sort of beauty about them.”
“You must find Yves quite beautiful then as well.”
“I do, he’s definitely high up there on my list of beautiful men.”
“But you said you aren’t attracted to beautiful men.”
“Not usually, no.”
“Then what makes this man so special?” Evgeni asked. “His personality?”
Ezra laughed. “Oh gods, no. I adore him completely, but his personality is often not the best. He’s prone to being rude, too teasing, and just in general a total brat.”
Evgeni cocked an eyebrow. “I have to say, Ezra, I’m a little confused right now.”
“I’m not surprised,” Ezra said, his smile fading. “The way I feel towards him isn’t normal. It’s… it’s taboo.”
It took a moment, but the clue finally clicked for Evgeni. “Dear gods, it’s your brother.”
Ezra nodded and glanced to Evgeni. “Are you disgusted with me?”
“Oh, Ezra,” Evgeni said with a sigh then reached for the ale, pouring himself and Ezra another glass. “What in the hells am I going to do with you? You’ve killed, you desire dangerous men, and you want to fuck your brother. You’ve absolutely ruined the image I had of you.”
Ezra chuckled at that and sipped at the newly poured drink. “Not the ‘Golden Boy’ you were hoping for?”
Evgeni grinned. “You make a mistake in thinking I was hoping for you to be exactly as I expected. No, Ezra, this is surprising, but exciting. The fact that you have parts of yourself that are so divergent will help you be an even better actor. You’ll have a lot of different feelings and experiences to draw from this way.”
“So… you’re not disgusted?” Ezra asked again.
“Well, I’m not sure,” Evgeni said. “I suppose it does make me uncomfortable, but that’s more to do with my own feelings towards my brothers. I have absolutely no sexual or romantic feelings towards them so the idea of desiring a sibling makes me feel strange.”
“I could see that. I even think it’s weird, I just can’t stop it. And it’s not new. I think as soon as we had sexual feelings we felt that way. But… I hesitate to call it sexual, or even romantic, because it’s not like how I feel about Marius, or even Lazarus, at all. It’s… it’s primal. I think it’s connected to our pack-like bond.”
“Oh,” Evgeni said, his eyebrows going up. “I wouldn’t use that term lightly, Ezra.”
“I’m not,” Ezra said, his voice serious. “Our connection is weak right now, I’ll admit that, but I intend on making it stronger.”
Evgeni knew that packs, especially ones made up of various supernatural creatures, were extremely rare, but powerful. They had an intensely loyal bond and often did have that almost sexual and romantic tension that Ezra apparently felt towards his brother. They also seemed to have an almost psychic way about them, able to sense things about each other that they really shouldn’t, even being able to have gut feelings about where each other were. They also were violently protective of each other, which was why they were so powerful and dangerous.
“Yuri,” Evgeni said, his mind suddenly going into overdrive as he realized what might have attributed to Ezra’s extremely violent episode. “You said Yuri went with you on that mission four years ago.”
“He did,” Ezra said, his voice growing weak again.
“Is he the wendigo? The one you want?”
“He is.”
“Ezra, I may be wrong, but I think part of the reason you ended up killing that man four years ago is because Yuri was nearby. Gods, and if your other brother is a faerie, seeing that man torture one right on front of you was probably enough to drive you over the edge. While there are many benefits to pack-like bonds, they are known to make the members violently protective of each other.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Ezra said and drank more. Evgeni doubted the man would be going home sober at this point. “I think there was a lot going on in my mind, but I’m sure that was part of it.”
Evgeni nodded a little, satisfied he’d said enough about that for now, and returned his thoughts back to the topic he could actually do something about. “Alright. So Yuri. He’s the one you feel aggressive towards.”
“He is.”
“Have you acted on these feelings?”
“No. My father, not Lucifer, but his brother, my other father, Rex, abhors incest. If he found out it would make a mess of things and I’m not strong enough to deal with him yet.”
“I see.”
“I’m not really strong enough to deal with anyone. Fuck, I’m lucky I dealt with my brother, Yuri, when he challenged me the other day. Though it was by the skin of my teeth, and if Marius wasn’t there…” Ezra said then shook his head. “I think I may be getting a little tipsy.”
Evgeni chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised. When did Yuri challenge you?”
“Last week? Everything seems to be happening at once right now,” Ezra said then looked to Evgeni. “And while my tongue is rather loose, I’ll say that I think I need to give in and actually have sex with Yuri. I know it’s weird, but I don’t think things will be fixed between us until I do. I’m not sure if he just needs me to have that domination over him or if it’s a need to feel close to me. Perhaps it’s both. Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I think he needs me to do it or else he won’t ever really accept me as leader. And you know what? I want to do it, because I don’t want him going to the man he usually goes to. I hate him. And don’t ask who it is. That’s Yuri’s secret, not mine.”
“I won’t, not today at least,” Evgeni said, trying not to chuckle at seeing Ezra slowly unravel.
“Do you think I should do it?” Ezra asked, clearly referring to having sex with his brother.
“You want my opinion?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what are the chances of your father finding out about it?” Evgeni asked.
“He’d have to ask directly, and he never has before. So it’s doubtful, but I mean, nothing is certain.”
“True. So wait, is your father a faerie too?” Evgeni asked.
“No, he’s a djinn, but Pasha would know, he’s the faerie. The four of us – Pasha, Alice, Yuri, and I – we’d probably end up sort of sharing the experience. I couldn’t do that with Yuri without the other two being near-ish. I know, fucked up, but if I excluded them
it wouldn’t be right. I mean, I know Pasha wouldn’t want to be involved, but I know he’d want to be nearby, even if it grossed him out.”
Evgeni couldn’t help but chuckle now, simply at the absurdity of the conversation they were having. “I have to say, Ezra, this is the first time I’ve talked to someone who’s killed, and it’s also the first time talking to someone who has serious incestuous feelings. I’ve known many people who’ve had passing thoughts of incest, but the idea of actually doing it made them shudder.”
Ezra shrugged and drank more. “I guess I’m a little messed up.”
“A little,” Evgeni agreed.
“But you didn’t answer me. Do you think I should do it?”
“I think it would put you at risk for a confrontation with your father, but it would probably strengthen the bond of your pack. And I think letting out some of your aggression in an environment where there is plenty of love and trust would be good for you. It’s definitely better directed at your wendigo brother, who would most likely enjoy a rough time in bed, than somewhere else. I wouldn’t be surprised if you just randomly exploded soon with all that pent up anger, frustration, and other aggressive emotions you’ve undoubtedly been bottling up since you stopped being confrontational.”
“So yes.”
“Yes, Ezra,” Evgeni said with a chuckle and drank some of his own ale. “I think it would be good for you and useful for us. If you can have an actual experience of being in an aggressive, sexual role, it would be a lot easier for you to capture the emotions rather than just imagining them.”
Ezra chuckled. “Acting advice from Evgeni – go fuck your brother.”
“Damn it, Ezra,” Evgeni cursed before letting out a very genuine laugh.
“You’ve got a good laugh, Evgeni, good smile too, when you aren’t busy being a little devil,” Ezra said.
“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Scarlett?” Evgeni asked and was surprised to find his own cheeks heating up a little. When Ezra was relaxed, and his words came out confidently, he really was quite charming. Of course it was slightly ruined because he was rather buzzed and Evgeni couldn’t entirely trust that this was the true Ezra, but Evgeni had a feeling that his words and demeanor weren’t all the alcohol’s fault. There was a different aura about him now that he wasn’t quite so tense, and it held all sorts of promising potential.
Ezra chuckled. “Not in the slightest, I just like the kinder man hiding in there inside of you. Well, perhaps not kinder, but, hm, childlike? I have a feeling you can be quite whimsical when you’re not trying to be all imposing with your cleverness. I mean, even your clothing is just this side of eccentric.”
Evgeni looked down at his outfit. He supposed Ezra had a point. Today he had on shimmering dark grey leggings and a fitted plum coloured kurta with complicated embroidery all over it and large, metal button details. No matter what Evgeni put on he always wanted to feel like some sort of fantastical prince. It made him feel attractive and powerful.
“You may be onto something,” Evgeni replied.
“I know. So, now that you know some more about me, do you have any ideas of what to do with me?”
“Well, currently I wish I could just get you on stage tipsy, you’re far more relaxed.”
“Enjoy it, I very rarely drink.”
“Why is that?”
“You already know. If I drank, it would be in the company of my brothers, and I’m not sure if I could hold back if Yuri were to start something,” Ezra replied then eyed his drink, shrugged to himself, and drank some more.
Evgeni simply sat back and watched Ezra for a moment, still very intrigued by his change in demeanour. There was something almost lazy about him, but not in the sluggish sort of way. It was an almost confident laziness, like if he wanted to do something, he would, but he wasn’t going to go out of way for just anything.
Perhaps that was alright though. Evgeni had a tendency to assume that being pro-active was always the right answer, but perhaps it wasn’t this time. Ezra clearly would act when necessary, when there was a very specific reason or goal. Nobody overly passive could have risen to supporting actor or put themselves in a position to fight for lead.
And maybe that was how they were going to have to play Mordred – passively. The more Evgeni thought about it, the more interesting the idea became. Mordred was usually played with constant, powerful presence, but what if he wasn’t like that? What if Mordred was an amplified, evil version of Ezra, not bothering with anything until necessary, and when it was necessary, he was absolutely terrifying?
Evgeni shuddered. Oh yes, he was beginning to really like this idea. Having the audience on edge, constantly wondering when and where Mordred would suddenly snap, would be riveting.
“You look like you’re plotting again,” Ezra said.
“I am,” Evgeni replied. “I think you’ve shown me exactly what we must do to make you play Mordred, and in a very unique way.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” Evgeni said, grinning widely. “I keep thinking you need to have more agency over your life, to drive forward and take control, but I’m making such a rookie mistake here. I think your natural state might actually be passive, and there’s nothing wrong with that. To make somebody better you need to take what they have naturally and amplify it. So ignore what I’ve said about you being more pro-active. Instead, I think I need to make you into a fortress – a strong, towering structure that may not go out of its way, but can powerfully defend and attack when necessary. Is this analogy making any sense to you?” Evgeni asked, knowing he had a tendency to rattle on when he got excited about something and sometimes left people scratching their heads.
Ezra nodded slowly and Evgeni watched, entranced, as his dark eyes started to sparkle as well. “I think I do, and I think I like it. Imagining I’m a fortress makes me feel powerful, like I can protect everything and everyone I care about. It makes me feel solid, secure,” he said then tilted his head. “But how would this work in terms of playing Mordred?”
“My idea is that we don’t make you quite as overtly evil as many others have played him. I think we could even make you seem quite cordial, inviting, until you need to act, and then, and only then, do you show that evil, highly aggressive side. I think it would make you very interesting to watch because the audience would never know when you’re about to attack.”
“Huh,” Ezra said, taking another sip of his drink. “I do think that would be easier for me, channeling everything only into a few key moments. And you’re right, I do think it would be scarier overall. I just need to learn to be okay with being scary.”
“You’ll figure it out. Just… be yourself. After the performance is over give everyone that big, friendly smile of yours, give out hugs, do what you need to do to reassure everyone that you’re still a giant teddy bear at heart. At practice do the same.”
Ezra nodded then suddenly let out a soft groan as he rubbed at his face. “I feel like I need a walk.”
“You probably could use some fresh air,” Evgeni said with a little chuckle. Ezra was rather cute while inebriated.
“Is there more you wanted to talk about today?”
Evgeni took a moment to think about that. While he was annoyed that he wouldn’t be able to help Ezra further with his fear of being scary, he still had made considerable headway. He now knew that Ezra was capable of more aggressive sexual feelings, even if they came from a somewhat questionable place, and he also now had a direction when it came to playing Mordred overall. It was definitely enough to work with for now.
“No, we’ve done plenty today,” Evgeni said with a satisfied little nod. “You can take the rest of the day off and relax. Tomorrow we shall begin tackling your role.”
“Sounds good,” Ezra said and stood. “And I’m taking this,” he added, grabbing the bottle of ale that really didn’t have much left in it anymore.
Evgeni chuckled. “You go right ahead,” he said then stood. “I’m going to head out with you, I need
to do a few more things at the theatre.”
“You’re gonna talk to Marius, aren’t you?” Ezra asked as the two of them exited the bedroom and made their way back downstairs.
“I am.”
Ezra groaned. “You’re gonna cause problems, aren’t you?”
“Perhaps. It really depends on if there is a good opportunity or not,” Evgeni replied with a grin.
“Well, at least you’re honest about it,” Ezra said with a shrug and put his shoes and coat back on.
“That I am. So what do you intend to do with the rest of your day off?”
“I think I might pick my brothers up from school and work, maybe get some treats along the way.”
“What a doting older brother you are.”
“Always,” Ezra said with a rather fond smile.
Evgeni put on his shoes and coat as well and walked with Ezra to the tram stop. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ezra.”
“See you tomorrow, Evgeni-khan,” Ezra replied with a little nod.
Evgeni gave him one last parting grin, half impish, half genuine, before heading to the theatre alone to go speak to a certain lead designer.
He found him in the basement working away at a sewing machine, his brow furrowed in concentration. Though from what he knew of Marius, his brow was usually furrowed. The man apparently looked constantly unimpressed with life. Evgeni never paid him much mind whenever he came to visit and watch the plays besides to say good job on the costumes and makeup. The only reason he was interesting to Evgeni now was because of his new involvement with Ezra.
“Marius, I’d like to speak to you for a moment,” Evgeni said as he approached.
“Wait in my office,” Marius instructed, not even looking up at him.
Evgeni blinked, surprised and a little annoyed at the brusque reply. It definitely did not give him a better impression of the man.
Still, Evgeni did as he was told and went to Marius’ office, sitting down in one of the leather chairs at the desk.
