“Maybe we should go dancing to get things started,” he teased her. “I have meetings in Houston in two weeks, and I have to be there, so our son better not show up late. I need him to be on time,” he said, and patted her belly. Every part of her still looked thin and lithe except her huge bump, which looked like a beach ball under the short dresses she wore to show off her legs. Her face was beautiful. She was the picture of youth and health. Even Emmanuelle had to admit she looked spectacular. She had movie star good looks and it was easy to see why Max was dazzled by her.
In the last few days before her due date, she kept buying clothes and toys for the baby. She had nothing else to do, while both nannies waited in Greenwich. Once the baby was born, Max was going to drive her and the baby straight from the hospital to The Orchards. The doctor said that if everything went well, and he was sure it would, she’d only have to spend a day or two in the hospital.
And true to his word, two days before the baby was due, Max came home from meetings in Detroit, and said he wasn’t moving until the baby came. They had fun going for walks in Central Park on the weekend and out to dinner every night. He tried to make love to her but it was too uncomfortable for both of them, and he was afraid of hurting the baby, so they used more creative options to give each other pleasure. Much to her annoyance, her due date passed. She was two days late, while Max took conference calls at home in the morning and then went to his office. He had a staff of six now to help him keep all the balls in the air on the deals he made. He was so busy that she worried that he’d have to leave town again before the baby was born. He called her almost every hour from his office to see how she was and if there was any sign, but there was nothing. She was utterly fed up, and drove herself to Greenwich to swim in her parents’ pool on a particularly hot September day, and didn’t tell Max where she’d gone. Her mother was surprised to see her when she showed up, and scolded her for driving, but she’d wanted to pick some things up at the house, and she promised to go back to town after a quick swim and lunch with her mother. She was just leaving to go to her own house when her water broke in a gush as she was standing near the pool. Julie looked panicked.
“Ohmygod, what do I do now, Mom? Max is going to kill me, he doesn’t know I drove out here,” and the doctor had told her not to leave the city two weeks before.
“You call your doctor,” her mother said firmly. “I’ll drive you to the city as fast as we can get there. Labor probably won’t start for several hours. It doesn’t happen that fast, especially the first time.” Her mother handed her a stack of towels to wrap herself in, and went to put on clothes and get her purse and car keys. And Julie called the doctor, told him what had happened and where she was. She didn’t want to call Max until she was back in the city, so he wouldn’t panic or have a fit that she’d driven to Greenwich. The doctor told her to go straight to the hospital to be examined as soon as she got back to town, and assured her that everything would be fine, but not to waste time getting there.
She was already having mild contractions when she got in her mother’s Jaguar, with a thick pile of towels under her so she didn’t ruin the upholstery. She was quiet and nervous on the drive back, but nothing frightening happened, and the contractions were no worse than they’d been for the last two hours.
“I’m scared, Mom,” she said softly as they crossed the Triborough Bridge into the city, and she was grateful she hadn’t given birth in the car. She wanted Max to be there and everything to go smoothly.
“Don’t be.” Her mother smiled at her. “You’ll be fine, dear. At your age, it’s a piece of cake. I always had easy deliveries and I’m sure you will too.”
“The baby looks huge, Mom. And what am I going to do after that? I have no idea how to be a mother, or what to do for it.”
“You’ll learn as you go. We all do. I didn’t know what I was doing either when your sister was born. And somewhere along the way, maternal instinct kicks in. And you have those two nice nannies to help you too.”
“I don’t want Max to think I’m an idiot and don’t know how to take care of his child. You’re supposed to know these things.” She was more afraid of being a mother than of giving birth, which seemed bad enough after the movies they’d shown in Lamaze class. Her sister had almost thrown up after one of them, and said she never wanted children, and Julie was beginning to feel the same way. It had all sounded so romantic when Max said he wanted babies with her, but ever since she’d gotten pregnant she’d been terrified that she had no idea what she was doing. She loved being his wife, but motherhood sounded so much harder.
“Trust me, it all comes naturally. I was younger than you are when I had my first one, and your age when I had you. I promise, you’ll be fine. And Max will be a great father.” Julie nodded, and the contractions were starting to get worse, they were only a few minutes from the hospital. She wanted to call Max to tell him. She didn’t want him to know she’d gone to Greenwich, and she’d had to leave her car there. But the nannies could pick it up for her later, and she’d be back there now in a few days, after the baby came.
They got to the hospital five minutes later, and her mother walked into the emergency room with her. Julie called Max while they waited for the doctor.
“My water broke,” she told him nervously, “and I’m at the hospital so they can check me, but nothing much is happening. I’m having some contractions, but nothing major. I’ll call you after the exam,” she said and he sounded excited and happy.
“I’ve got a conference call in ten minutes. I’ll get off if something big is going on. Call me after you see the doctor.” He didn’t offer to come then, he was busy.
“Something big is going on!” she snapped at him. “I’m having a baby!” She was on the verge of tears as she said it, suddenly terrified, wondering what she’d gotten herself into.
“Let’s just be sure it’s now, so I don’t come up there for nothing,” he said, and got off a minute later. The doctor’s exam was discouraging.
“You’re two centimeters dilated, you’ve still got a long way to go. You can go home now, and come back when the contractions get stronger, probably not till tonight. My guess is things won’t really pick up till after midnight,” and it was only three o’clock then. “There’s no point in your being in the hospital for all that time. Go home and relax, take a nap, don’t overeat, and call me when something changes.” She called Max and told him, and her mother drove her home to his apartment. Max said he had a busy afternoon, but she could call him anytime, and if nothing was moving he’d be home around six or seven so he could get his work done. Her mother had to get back to Greenwich. They were having dinner guests that night. She dropped Julie off with a big smile.
“Just take it easy. Rest, dear, you’ll need it for later. And I’ll come in to meet my grandchild tomorrow.” She kissed her and drove away, and Julie went upstairs to the apartment, and burst into tears as soon as she walked in and closed the door behind her. She was scared stiff of what lay ahead of her, both the delivery and the child she was about to have forever after. She couldn’t remember why she’d thought this was a good idea, but she had done it to make Max happy, and now he wasn’t even there to comfort her. He was at the office, as he always was.
She lay on their bed and dozed for a while after she stopped crying, and then she got up and washed her hair. She’d had a manicure the day before, and she put on makeup before Max came home. He walked in at seven-thirty with Chinese food for both of them, but even the smell of it made her feel sick now and she couldn’t eat it. The contractions had completely stopped, but with her water broken, she knew they would start again sooner or later, this time for real.
They lay on the bed together and watched TV, and she fell asleep again, and woke up at eleven, while he was watching the news. She had such a big contraction that her whole belly turned into a rock and she felt like she was being strangled. She was lying on th
e bed in her underwear and he could see her whole stomach tighten, and Max put his hand on it.
“Wow, that was a big one,” he said, looking excited. She tried to sit up and couldn’t. Gravity was against her with the weight of the baby, and then another one hit her. It had gone from nothing to severe in a matter of seconds, but they weren’t far from the hospital, and her bag was already packed. He helped her off the bed, and she went to the bathroom and threw up while she had the next one, and he called the doctor, and reached him through his answering service immediately.
“He said to come in now,” he repeated to Julie with an elated smile.
“I feel awful,” she said and looked it. Her mother had said it would be a piece of cake, and it wasn’t. It was the worst pain she’d ever had. Max handed her the dress that was lying on the bed and helped her put it on, while the pains kept coming. She was doubled over when they left the apartment, and as he had the doorman get them a cab, Julie started to cry. He was holding her up, and the doorman wished them luck as she got into the taxi and they drove away. She could feel the baby pushing down now with a force she couldn’t stop. Max ran to get a wheelchair when they got to the hospital, and he pushed her into the emergency room. She looked at him and the nurses with wide eyes.
“I need DRUGS!” she screamed at them. “Somebody help me!” Max looked paralyzed as two nurses took charge of the wheelchair and one of them told her to calm down.
“Your doctor’s waiting for you, and we’ll get you an epidural as soon as he tells us to,” the nurse said in a soothing tone.
“I feel awful…where is he?” She looked desperate, and Max ran along beside her, holding her hand as they took her up to labor and delivery. She threw up as soon as they moved her onto the bed, and started crying hysterically while they cleaned her up. “I’m dying,” she said to her husband who had tears in his eyes, he had no idea how to help her. “I can’t do this…please…” She had his hand in a viselike grip, the doctor walked in seconds later and explained to Max quietly that she was probably in transition, and close to delivering. Everything had started at once and happened so fast. It was all out of control, Max thought, and so was his wife.
The doctor examined her and she screamed at him between sobs and contractions, and he shook his head at the nurse, then spoke to Julie calmly. This was all routine to him, but not to Max, who felt sick watching her writhe in agony with every pain, and no one could get her to calm down.
“Julie,” the doctor said clearly. “You’re at nine, you can start pushing in a few minutes. We can stay right here in the labor room if you like. Everything is going beautifully. I can feel your baby coming down, you’re doing a great job.”
“I want DRUGS!” she shrieked at him. “Give me something for the pain…I can’t do this!” She looked from the doctor to Max, who felt utterly helpless.
“You’re doing great. It’s too late for an epidural. It started too fast before you got here. That happens sometimes. You can push the baby out in a few minutes.” She had another monster contraction, and he examined her while she did, and she let out a bloodcurdling scream. Max stood beside her to comfort her, but she couldn’t stand having him touch her. She was in too much pain. “You’re at ten now,” the doctor reported, and told her how to start pushing. Max watched her with tears rolling down his cheeks and he didn’t even know it. She gave a mighty push and then screamed again and fell back against the pillows. Her legs were wide apart, and one nurse was next to the doctor watching the baby crowning, while the other nurse stood at Julie’s side encouraging her, and Max held her shoulders. Her entire focus was on pushing now as all four of them in the room cheered her on. She gave two more mighty pushes, and the baby slid out of her with ease and started crying. She was a beautiful baby girl and Max was sobbing as he looked at his daughter and kissed his wife. She lay looking at him with a glazed expression, as the doctor cut the cord and handed the baby to the nurse, and told Julie what a beautiful baby girl she had.
They wrapped her in a pink blanket and asked Julie if she’d like to hold her. She shook her head no, and they handed the baby to Max. He looked awestruck as he held her. She had stopped crying as soon as she heard his voice. Julie looked at them as though they were strangers.
“You told me I could have an epidural,” she said to the doctor accusingly.
“It was too late by the time you got here,” he said honestly. “Sometimes it just goes too fast, especially if your water broke hours before. You went straight to ten within minutes.” From the first severe pain to their baby’s birth, the whole thing had taken fifty-five minutes. The doctor said she’d have had the baby at home if she’d waited any longer, and they had come in very soon after the first pains. He said it was rare for a first baby to come that fast.
“That was the worst thing I’ve ever been through,” she said, looking straight at Max, and he was terrified she’d never forgive him. He wanted lots more children, and a son after this. But he already loved his daughter, and after he handed the baby to the nurse, he sat down next to Julie and spoke to her soothingly and told her how much he loved her while she cried. She was traumatized by the birth, and didn’t even want to hold the baby.
He went to the nursery to hold his daughter while they cleaned Julie up, and the labor nurse told him that it happened that way sometimes. “Women don’t expect it to be so hard, and resist the baby for a day or two, and then they get over it, and adjust to motherhood. It’s tough when it happens that fast and everything feels out of control.” He nodded, relieved by what she told him, and he stayed with Julie for another hour until she dozed off after a shot they’d given her to calm her down. Then he went home to get some sleep himself. He stopped to look at the baby again before he left. He had never seen anything so beautiful. They had agreed on names weeks before. They were naming her Hélène Françoise after Emmanuelle’s mother and sister, according to Jewish tradition, and Julie had no objection to it. She had said she liked the name.
When he got home, he lay in bed thinking about everything that had happened, how hard it had been on Julie, how violent it had seemed for a few minutes, how exquisite their baby was, and how much he already loved her. As he drifted off to sleep, he said a prayer, hoping she would have a long and happy life, and that Julie would forgive them both quickly.
Chapter 13
Max called his parents as soon as he woke up in the morning to tell them that their granddaughter had arrived, and weighed eight pounds five ounces, a good size. And despite her reservations, Emmanuelle cried as soon as he told her and so did Jakob. They asked if they could see the baby that afternoon. Emmanuelle was deeply moved to hear that they were giving her her great-grandmother’s and great-aunt’s names.
“How is Julie?” his mother asked with womanly concern.
“It was fast, but very hard. She’s a big baby, but it was all over in an hour, from first pain to first cry. Poor Julie took a beating, though. It was worse than she expected, and it went so fast they couldn’t give her any drugs.” It sounded familiar to his mother, but the moment Emmanuelle had seen Max, she knew it had all been worth it. “She was really upset last night, and they gave her something to sleep after the baby was born.” That didn’t sound entirely right to his mother, but she didn’t want to pry. “I’m going over there now. Why don’t you come this afternoon? She should be feeling a lot better by then, and we’re going back to Greenwich tomorrow.” Julie was at Lenox Hill Hospital, not far from Max’s apartment. Emmanuelle promised to be there, and they had a present waiting for the baby. It was a silver comb and brush set, like the one she’d had as a little girl. They couldn’t wait to see her.
When Max got to the hospital, he opened the door to her room gingerly, not sure what he’d find, and what kind of shape she’d be in, and if she’d be holding their baby in her arms like a Madonna. He found her on the phone, talking to her mother, telling her how horrendous the birth h
ad been. She smiled and waved and blew him a kiss. Her hair was combed and she looked impeccably groomed and had on makeup. There was no sign of the baby in the room.
“Where’s Hélène?” he asked, as she hung up. The infant was already a person to him, with a name.
“She’s in the nursery,” Julie said easily. “I had a bunch of calls to make to tell everyone and I didn’t want to wake her. Since I’m not nursing she doesn’t have to be here every minute.”
“I want to hold her,” he said, looking disappointed. He’d been looking forward to it since he woke up. “My parents are coming later. They can’t wait to see her, and my mom was thrilled about the name.”
Julie smiled at him. “I’m sorry I was so awful last night. It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through,” she said, still horrified by the memory of it. “I can’t believe they wouldn’t give me an epidural. It was barbaric.” But women had been going through it for centuries and survived it. “My mother had natural childbirth all three times. She’s a saint. But I’ll never do it that way again. If we have another baby, I want to be out cold and have a C-section.” She sounded definite about it. He was afraid to ask her if she’d held the baby yet.
“What do you mean ‘if’ we have another baby? I hope Hélène is the first in a long line of Stein children. I know it was rough last night, but please don’t give up just yet.” He bent down and kissed her, and she looked like herself again, young, fresh, and almost recovered from what she’d been through. It was as though the agony of the night before had never happened.
“I know, we’ll have others,” she said, “but let’s not rush into it right away. You’ll get your son.” She smiled at him.
In His Father's Footsteps Page 18
