Little Red Gem

by D L Richardson

  Over my shoulder I shot her a blank look. She pointed a finger in each of the four directions. “East. West. North. South.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Teri closed her eyes and stretched her arms high over her head. “You do this to invoke the four winds. Now start in the East.”

  Teri nodded – her eyes still closed – toward the kitchen window.

  “East. Got it.”

  “Repeat the following words four times. ‘Hail to thee East Wind. I call for love and make this offering of light to you’.”

  “Hail to thee East Wing. I call for love and make this offering of light to you.” I was used to memorizing lyrics and my pride swelled that I didn’t need much prompting from Teri. I repeated the chant verbatim three more times, each time gazing at the other cardinal directions. Finished, I rested my gaze at Teri. “What now?”

  Teri opened her eyes and moved over the counter to consult the magic book. “Put the burner in the centre of the circle and place the charcoal inside. Light the charcoal. Then light the pink candle. Do the golden light breathing exercise until you feel full of energy.”

  “The golden light breathing exercise?” I cried out, exasperated. “When are we going to make the love potion?”

  “I’ve told you already, this is a love spell. There is no such thing as a love potion.”

  “It’d be easier if there was,” I mumbled. In a clear voice, I said, “Okay, so what is the golden light breathing exercise?”

  Teri threw her hands into the air. “I can’t believe you’re my daughter. ‘What is the golden light breathing exercise?’ I only practice it in the living room while you’re watching TV ten times a day. Stand with your feet hip distance apart. Rest your hands on your stomach and take a few deep breaths. Breathe slowly, not too deeply, and with concentration.”

  Beneath the brimming anxiety that had squeezed at me since I’d died lay a bigger pool of anxiety, yet underneath her calming tutelage my insides became jelly-like and I relaxed.

  “Breathe in through your nose and visualize drawing golden light into yourself. Hold the breath and imagine your heart opening. Breathe out through your mouth, letting the golden light circulate around your body.”

  I understood now why Audrey wasn’t into magic. So much effort, and there was no guarantee this spell would work.

  “Keep breathing this way until you are energized and wide awake.”

  Wide awake? After the delicious bath I’d had, it’d have been easier falling into a slumber the likes of which evil queens in fairy tales were fond of casting upon fair maidens.

  “Rest your hands on your heart for a few moments, letting your breathing gradually return to normal.”

  The heart that beat inside my chest wasn’t mine. I ignored the shame.

  “There,” said Teri. “Feel energized?”

  “I could run a marathon,” I lied. The effort had drained every bit of juice I had at a time when I could least afford to lose it.

  “Good. Now, you are calling for new beginnings, so face east.” Teri pointed to the kitchen window. “Put seven rose petals to one side, after which you rub a little bit of rose oil into the rest.”

  Rose petals were not the easiest things to sort. They either got stuck to my fingers or they tore apart. Still, I peeled off seven petals and rubbed oil into the rest.

  “Crush the cinnamon stick and place it in the burning charcoal with the scented rose petals. No, not those ones, the ones you placed the oil on. Okay, now focus your heart to take in love. A good way to focus is to stare into the flame.”

  I looked intently into the flame and was overcome by memories of the last night Leo and I were together. The log cabin had a fireplace. I hadn’t set foot inside the cabin to see it, but the scent of burning wood had tickled my nostrils from outside. I remembered the vibrant laughter of the boys coming from inside the cabin and the stab of jealousy that had coursed through me. Had I asked Teri to cast the wrong spell when what I really wanted was to reverse time? If I could have gone back to that night, I’d have handled things differently. I wouldn’t have acted jealous or angry. I’d have done the golden light breathing exercise and had a strong cup of honeyed tea to calm me down. I certainly wouldn’t have blown up at Leo for lying about drinking. And I wouldn’t have demanded that he prove the depths of his love to me.

  Wouldn’t I?

  My reverie was broken by Teri recanting the spell. “Write the word ‘love’ in gold ink on the seven petals you put aside earlier.”

  “Are you serious?” If carefully peeling seven rose petals between my fingers was bad enough, writing on them was next to impossible. “Are you sure there isn’t a magic potion?”

  “I’m sure. Now, when you’re done, float the petals gently in the bowl of water.”

  Don’t ask me how I managed, but I wrote the word ‘love’ on seven paper-thin petals and placed them in the bowl, half expecting something to happen, like smoldering smoke, flashes of lightning, fireworks, a frog turning into a prince, heck I’d have settled for a frog in the garden outside croaking. Absolutely nothing happened and I felt beyond cheated.

  “Sit in the circle and breathe in the scent of rose and cinnamon,” Teri instructed. “Take time to centre yourself and build up charged energy. Open your hands, open your heart, and repeat your request seven times with genuine feeling. Repeat after me, ‘Oh Anael, Angel of Venus’.”

  “Oh Anael, Angel of Venus.”

  “I call upon you to fill me with love, that I may feel a joyous heart.”

  “I call upon you to fill me with love, that I may feel a joyous heart.”

  “I ask that I may share this love with another who will come to me of his free will.”

  I sighed loudly, as loud as water gushing out of a burst seal of a dam wall might sound.

  “Audrey!”

  “Okay.” Reluctantly I repeated the chant, and I was genuinely surprised when an energy I could best describe as a warm glow traveled around inside my body.

  “Together we shall know the beauty of a loving union. I ask this for the highest good of all.”

  Teri coached me in repeating the spell and at the end of the seventh chant of “Together we shall know the beauty of a loving union. I ask this for the highest good of all”, she told me to say “thank you”. I did, and because she then told me blow out the candles I did that as well. After a brief further instruction from Teri, I closed the cord clockwise and took the water outside to pour into the earth of our little garden.

  “We’re done,” Teri said when I reappeared in the kitchen.

  “What now? I sit around and wait for this universe business to take effect?”

  She smiled wistfully. “It will happen if it’s meant to.”

  “It had freaking well better,” I grumbled to myself on my way up to my room.

  ***

  The thing about charms was they were like an invisible essence, remaining invisible until an act of conversation or magic made them visible. In all the time I’d known Leo he’d never spoken a word to Audrey. I’d hardly spoken a word to her and she and I were related by blood. So I was a little worried that neither the magic charm (the spell) nor the real charm (my flirtatious efforts) would work. Teri had said the love spell would need a few days. She’d also said I wouldn’t need the water from the spell bowl, but I couldn’t be too sure I didn’t, so while I’d tipped the water in the bowl out into the herb garden, I’d poured a tiny bit into a vial that Teri used to store ground up fairy dust or eye of newt or whatever.

  Now, rummaging around inside my school jacket pocket my hand tightened around the plastic vial. As soon as I touched it my insides glowed. Forget about spells and wishes, this part of the plan called for good old-fashioned manipulation.

  Leo’s first period was in the red-brick building identical to every other building except that it had a giant B on its front facing wall. I knew this because I’d memorized Leo’s timetable back to front, which meant our paths wouldn’t cross till lunc
h so for the entire morning I was stuck in the red-brick identical in every way except that this building was marked as C block. The cafeteria sat somewhere in the middle of the two, inside a U-shaped building with a faculty lounge and an administration office. In the middle of the U were about twenty outdoor tables, chairs, and a few bricked-in gardens. The school was built so long ago it hardly resembled a place to inspire learning anymore.

  Today, Leo was seated at a table closest to the elm tree which provided shade better than the plastic umbrellas pitched above the plastic tables. He wasn’t alone. His two best friends, Simon and Thomas, were standing on top of the table, locked together inside a bubble of animated conversation. Leo’s expression appeared lost, though it could have been because he was staring up at the tree. I hurried over before the cackle of cheerleaders I spied at the water cooler arrived and stole my boyfriend.

  Standing before Leo, I was suddenly unable to speak. In front of Leo sat a tray with an untouched burger and fries. Also in front of him sat a can of Coke. Interesting. If I could slip the potion in through the small mouth-hole.

  Leo looked up and a flicker of surprise crossed his face. “Hi,” he said.

  My voice was thick. “Hi.”

  His eyes rounded when his face registered something else. Recognition? Fear? He pulled his head back a few inches and studied me and my heart hammered inside my chest. Was he searching for his beloved Ruby? I’m here.

  “I know you, don’t I?” he asked.

  I bit my lower lip, the nerves were increasing. I’d rarely been this close to Leo without touching or kissing him.

  “I’m Ruby’s sister, Audrey. We met in the music room the other day. Plus, I saw you at Ruby’s funeral.” Now that I’d found my voice, I couldn’t reign it in. “Well, I’m her half-sister technically. Her dad is my dad. Only my mom changed back to her maiden name, Adams, so you’d never know we were sisters. Well, half-sisters technically.”

  Jeez, I hated being fifteen.

  Jeez, I hated the word jeez.

  Leo clicked his fingers together. “Yeah, sure. This week has been a bit of a blur for me, but I recognize you, of course I do. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss more.”

  Leo scooted over a few inches and patted the empty space on the seat beside him. I quickly occupied it. Simon and Thomas chose this moment to check back into the scene, and they jumped down to stare at me with half smiles. I didn’t get what was so amusing.

  “You eating those?” Simon grabbed a handful of fries off Leo’s plate and shoved them into his mouth.

  Leo pushed the plate toward him. “Knock yourself out.”

  Thomas snuck a few fries and asked, “So are we gonna practice this weekend or what?”

  Leo shrugged his shoulders.

  Simon chewed and reached for the Coke can. “I’m not saying you gotta move on, far from it, but music is useful in the healing process. Maybe he’ll listen to you,” he said, winking at me. “Tell him he should express his loss through music.”

  Ordinarily I’d have agreed with his logic. Not today. “Leo should do what his heart tells him. And if he doesn’t believe he should be rehearsing, he shouldn’t.”

  Simon laughed. “You’re not supposed to take his side.”

  “You idiot,” said Thomas. “She’s a female of the opposite sex. What’d you expect her to say?”

  Simon winked again and I couldn’t stop the blush rising to my cheeks. “She is a fine example of a female of the opposite sex.”

  Damn Audrey’s teenage hormones. I was supposed to detest the two guys Leo would rather spend the rest of his life with, instead I found them charming. Meanwhile, I watched the perfect moment to tip my vial of love potion into Leo’s drink get gobbled up quicker than the fries when Thomas swiped the can. He downed the contents in one go and managed to drive away all thoughts I’d had of him being charming when he let out an ear-shattering burp.

  Leo scowled. “I hadn’t finished that.”

  Thomas grinned then lifted Simon up by the scruff of his collar and dragged him toward the exit. Thomas was laughing as he tapped his chest with his fist. “Come and get me then, loser. I dare you.”

  Leo watched the boys disappear with very little interest registering on his face. I was glad I hadn’t poured the contents of the vial into the can and inadvertently made myself the object of Thomas’s desire.

  “Where are they going?” I asked.

  “Music room. We’ve got a gig in two weeks.”

  “Oh. Shouldn’t you rehearse with them?”

  With his fingers he flicked the top of the can on the table, causing it to spin. When it stopped, he repeated the action and became absorbed in watching the can spin. “Nah. They don’t get my need to write something else.”

  “What do you want to write?” I asked, my mood suddenly lifting. I was on such a high, sitting beside Leo talking the way we used to talk. This was the most ‘me’ I’d felt in ages.

  He looked me dead on, and then looked away. “I want to write…meaningful songs.”

  I giggled. “You mean love songs?”

  “No. Anyway, even if I did, I don’t think I could ever write a love song. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

  “Not even for the Reach For The Stars auditions?” I asked, hoping this would bring a little cheer to his face. It didn’t. His face sagged the way if had at my funeral and I was immediately sorry I’d broached the subject.

  “Ruby and I had a bet on who of us could write the best love song,” he said softly.

  I nodded like I hadn’t known this already. “You can still enter. Dedicate the song to her memory.”

  “It hurts too much. I keep expecting her to walk through the door.” Leo flicked his gaze to the entry way and I found my eyes following. His demeanor suddenly changed. “I didn’t know Ruby had a half-sister. She never spoke about her family, except for her mother.”

  “Ruby and I aren’t exactly close. I tell myself it’s because we’re nothing alike, but the truth is I avoid her out of loyalty for my mom.”

  “You referred to Ruby in the present tense.”

  Yikes. I pretended to smooth invisible creases in my dress. “Did I?”

  His eyes lit up slightly. “It’s okay. I like it. Everyone keeps saying I’m young and I’ll get over this. They’re wrong. I’ll never get over her and I’ll never move on.”

  I expected a heavy weight to lift off my shoulders, but I was just as despondent as before.

  “I’m more depressed than ever,” Leo whispered.

  “That’s understandable.”

  The bell rang, ripping me away from our moment of shared insight. The ringing got so loud, it wasn’t until it stopped that I remembered I hadn’t given Leo the love potion. But we’d been talking the way we used to that a part of me believed I no longer needed to. We had our own magic going on.

  Leo pushed himself up and dragged his feet toward C block. I jumped up and almost lunged myself at him.

  “Any time you wanna talk,” I blurted out. “I mean like after school or something. About anything. Or nothing.”

  He hesitated and when he turned around I saw he looked slightly embarrassed. “Sorry about what I said before. I shouldn’t be dumping that stuff on you.”

  “It’s okay. That’s what friends are for.”

  He nodded. “I guess we can hang out. Come to my house after school. I’ll give you the address and my phone number.”

  I already knew them both, but I dived into my backpack to retrieve my phone anyway. The screen was blank. Great. I’d killed Teri’s phone too. What was it with me and phones? I pretended to punch his details into my phone. Then Leo said goodbye and walked toward C block. I had no choice but to walk along the corridor that led to my next class in A block. The gap between us grew so big I might as well have just gotten off a spaceship that had landed on Mars.

  As if school wasn’t torturous enough, the afternoon lessons dragged and dragged and then they dragged some m
ore. How was a girl supposed to focus on Algebra when her brain was saturated with joy that the boy she loved had asked her over to his house? Inviting me to his house was one solution I’d been looking for. Not only did I get to hang out in his bedroom the way we used to, when I slipped him the love potion I’d be in the most suitable location to hold him and kiss his tears away while he mourned over the loss of his beloved Ruby.

  That morning I’d woken up believing the day would get better. It had taken a while, but at last things were looking up.

  Chapter Eight

  Later that day Leo and I sat on the couch with two feet of empty space and beige upholstery separating us. Leo’s mom placed milkshakes on the coffee table before taking the chair opposite us. Leo’s younger sisters, who were already sitting on the couch by the window when we’d walked in, stared at me like I was a puzzle in need of putting back together. None of this was the romantic setting I’d had in mind.

  Leo must have read my mind because he said, “Can we have some privacy.”

  Grumbles of disappointment swept around the room, but his mom and sisters left us alone.

  Leo gave a gentle laugh. “They can be annoying at times.”

  I had a catalogue of memories of visits to the Culver house, and every memory was annoying-free. They were always happy, and they seemed to enjoy doing things to make others feel the same. Their inclusiveness had taken a bit to get used to, but once I had, I’d reveled in the intimacy. Leo’s sisters were always sending me home with glossy magazines to read – sometimes they weren’t even dog-eared and missing all the fashion pages. If perfume samples were being handed out at the mall, they grabbed a few for me. And Mrs. Culver often invited me on her shopping sprees.

  I loved being around the Culvers. Just not today.

  “Your family is great. At home there’s only me and my mom. It can get lonely at times, but at least I don’t have to share a bathroom.”

  I snorted out loud, but my joke seemed to have given Leo a coronary. His face went grey and stiff. “Ruby used to say that exact thing.”