by Holby Cindy
“Libby showed up at my place again,” Jake said. “She might as well wear a sign that says Trouble follows wherever I go.
“The first time I saw Libby, she was standing in my yard braying loud enough to wake the dead,” Jake said. “It was last October and the weather had just cleared from an early blizzard. I’d never seen her before, and the way she was acting had me worried. So I saddled up and decided to see if I could find out where she came from. She led me straight to this mining camp on the other side of town. Everyone there was dead from the measles.” Jake poked at the fire. “Men, women and children, twenty-seven people, all dead.”
“Libby was from the camp?” Cassie asked.
“She had to be,” Jake said. “We think Ward’s dog came from there too. And the cat you got from the Martins.”
“Suzie,” Cassie said.
“Suzie,” Jake said. “So now whenever Libby shows up, I think there’s trouble.”
“There wasn’t any trouble the night we met.”
Jake laughed. “Maybe not for you. But I recall having someone point a gun at me and accuse me of being a thief.”
Cassie was grateful Jake couldn’t see her blush. “Maybe I should apologize for that,” she said.
Jake pointed a finger at her. “Maybe you should.”
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not polite to point?” Cassie asked, hoping he didn’t see her joy at his teasing. She didn’t want him to treat her any differently because he knew about the rape.
“My mother didn’t have time to tell me much of anything, because she was always working to support us,” Jake said.
“Where was your father?”
Jake shrugged. “Beats me. I never laid eyes on him. And as far as I know, my mother only laid eyes on him the one time.”
“I’m sorry,” Cassie said as a vision of a sad and lonely little boy replaced the actual presence of Jake across from the fire.
“It’s nothing for you to feel sorry about. It’s just the way things were. My mother was very practical,” Jake said. “She knew nobody was going to hand you a thing, and if you wanted something you had to work for it, so she worked two jobs. During the day she was a maid and in the evenings she worked in a pub. We rented a room above the same. She wanted better for me, so she enrolled me in a private school so I’d have a decent education. Work was what eventually killed her. She died when I was seventeen.”
“What happened then?”
Jake shrugged. “I took off. We had no family and I couldn’t pay the tuition anymore. So I headed west and took whatever job I could find. And continued to learn as much as I could about the world around me. I probably had worked twenty jobs by the time I was twenty, in every different trade you could imagine. I’d figured out pretty fast that showing up to ask for a job in clean clothes while being polite as possible would get me hired in a hurry.”
He put the last of the wood on the fire. “All the while I was moving west. I finally signed on with a rancher down around Abilene. He liked my work ethic and took me under his wing. Taught me everything he knew. He didn’t have much close family either. I was with him five years until he died. When his brother showed up to claim the property, I took the money I’d saved up all those years working for him and moved to Colorado. When I found a pretty little valley in the mountains, I made it mine. That was seven years ago. Awhile after your grandfather got here.”
“So this is home?” Cassie asked.
“It is now,” Jake said.
“I’ve always wanted a place to call home,” Cassie said, suddenly sad because the hope that had filled her so quickly had disappeared. “And now I have no place to go.”
“Who says you’re going anywhere?” Jake asked.
“What else am I supposed to do? The sheep are gone. Without them we have no way to make a living. Yes, I have the money from my grandfather, but that won’t last forever.”
“The sheep aren’t gone,” Jake informed her. “They’re home.”
“They are?”
“Yes, Max brought them back.”
It was more than she’d dared to hope for. “Max is alive?”
“He is.” Jake tugged on his ear. “He’s missing part of his ear, but he was alive and well last time I saw him.”
“Thank God,” Cassie said. “Manuel loves that dog so much. Max belonged to his son.”
“He told me about his son,” Jake said. “And why you left Texas.”
Cassie didn’t know what to say; shame once more washed over her. She was a bundle of conflicting emotions and nerves. She’d almost died. She was exhausted and once more she felt like she was floating around the ceiling of the cave instead of sitting safely on the ground. She was still cold yet her skin felt hot. It was all so very strange.
“None of it was your fault, Cassie. Just like none of this mess is.”
If only it were true. Jake would never understand the guilt she carried. No one would. Because of what the incident did to her mother, she would always feel guilty. “I’m just a victim of wrong place at the wrong time?” she asked because she wanted to hear his justifications.
“You’re a victim of somebody else’s cruelty,” Jake explained. “With what happened before and what is happening now.”
She didn’t want to talk about the rape. She never wanted to talk about it. “We should get back. If Watkins finds out the sheep survived, he might attack the ranch again.”
“We’re not going anywhere tonight and probably not tomorrow either.” The fire dimmed and Jake pulled a stick from the fire and stirred it up before tossing it back on the flames. “It will take awhile for the water to subside. It might even be jammed up again with all the stuff that washed down with it. And your ranch will be fine. A couple of my men are there.”
“Why are you doing this, Jake? Why are you helping me?”
He didn’t answer; instead, he just stared at the flames that were getting lower and lower. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “I just feel like it’s the right thing to do.”
It was a safe answer. At least it made her feel safe. It didn’t put any pressure on her. And pressure was something she didn’t need right now. She’d taken a few small steps and she was still scared that if she took any more someone would find a way to knock her down again. It had taken her too long to take them.
And she was cold. So very cold. Her insides were shaking. Cassie yawned and her teeth chattered loudly.
“The fire is almost gone,” Jake said. “But I can help keep you warm, if you want.”
He said it so quietly, so matter-of-fact, that Cassie didn’t even think about what it meant. She just knew that she was cold, that her hip hurt, that she was so very tired, and she was so alone. And she wanted it all to go away.
“I’m tired of being cold,” she said. Jake shifted from the opposite wall and crept over to where Cassie sat. He leaned against the cave wall, stretched his legs out, and then scooped her up as if she weighed nothing. Cassie’s bare legs flashed and she was terrified, but only for a moment, as he carefully settled her in his lap and secured the blanket tightly around her, making sure that her feet were covered too.
“Try to get some sleep,” he said. “The rain should be over soon.”
Every muscle in her body clenched with tension. She needed to relax. Cassie looked at the dying embers of the fire and told herself over and over again that nothing was going to happen. Jake wouldn’t hurt her. He’d proven himself. If he’d wanted to hurt her, he’d had ample opportunity. Her body and mind battled each other until her mind finally won and precious warmth filled her bones. She felt Jake’s cheek against the top of her head, listened to the steady thump-thump of his heart and then finally, she slept.
TWENTY
Why are you doing this? Jake repeated Cassie’s question to himself as he wait
ed for her to fall asleep, willing himself not to disturb her.
Now if he could just will his own body to relax. Cassie was scared and hurt and all he could think about was how soft her skin was when he touched her legs, how small her waist when he held her up, and how much he wanted to kiss her.
But he knew Cassie wasn’t ready for kissing yet.
Rape . . . it was such a horrible word, not one that was fit for any conversation, polite or otherwise. One associated it with evil and war, and it made delicate woman back East swoon into their teacups. Jake didn’t even want to say it, much less think about it. He just knew that if he ever laid eyes on the bastard who did it, he’d kill him and wouldn’t think twice about it.
It had to be incredibly frustrating to be under someone’s control like that. To be smaller and weaker and powerless to do anything to stop them. It had to be the worst feeling in the world to have all that anger and rage afterward, and to want justice and to know that no matter what you did, there wouldn’t be any.
No wonder she was so stubborn. Jake looked down at the pale cap of her hair, which was now a tangled mess, and understood why she cut it off. He understood everything about her now. The only thing he didn’t understand was the feelings he had for her. Where had they come from? Why Cassie Parker, of all the women in the world?
Jake’s mind drifted back to last fall, and one of the many conversations he had with Leah. He’d wanted to marry her and she told him over and over again that she didn’t love him. Then she fell in love with Cade Gentry, who’d been an outlaw before he became sheriff. Leah wouldn’t settle for anything less than love. Jake had thought her foolish, but now, now that he had an inkling of what love was . . . what it could be . . . he realized just how right she was.
Was he in love with Cassie Parker? He could be, given the right circumstances. She certainly wasn’t what he imagined when he thought about the rest of his life. He’d always pictured a peaceful life and a quiet and mostly agreeable wife, neither of which was Cassie. What he’d imagined sounded boring now that he knew Cassie.
Cassie shifted in her sleep and by the light of the embers he saw the wince of pain from her hip. She’d probably be black-and-blue come morning. He hoped that wouldn’t be the least of her problems. No, their problems, because he was in it now, up to his eyeballs in sheep of all things.
Cassie shifted again and mumbled something. Jake’s legs tingled; they’d fallen asleep and he desperately needed to move, yet he didn’t want to disturb her. Holding her all night long wouldn’t prove anything, though, and it certainly wouldn’t change anything. And she was warm now.
Jake laid Cassie down on the ground next to him and rose. At the cave entrance he lit another match to get his bearings. The rain had stopped but the water was still swirling below. He didn’t need a light to see it; the noise was threat enough.
He thanked God that this canyon was adjacent to his land and there was a pass over the mountain he could take to get them to safety. Cassie’s valley was more than likely flooded, but her house, barn and other buildings were high enough that they shouldn’t be hurt. Dan and Randy knew enough to make sure the stock was safe. Thank God the two men had volunteered to help out. He’d reward them for it too, come payday.
Jake took a moment to check on Skip. He rubbed him down with a cloth he kept in his saddlebag and bid him good night with a pat to his neck. He checked on Cassie’s clothes. They were still soaking wet, so he spread them out as best as he could. His saddle blanket was damp on one side but dry beneath, so he laid it out on the floor next to Cassie. She was shivering again, so Jake slowly eased her body next to his. He curled his body around hers and pulled her tight against his chest. Her body felt hot, even though she shivered. She had a fever, but like everything else there was nothing he could do about it at the moment. Soon she settled in between his knees and his chin and her shaking subsided. He only hoped that was a good sign for the future.
* * *
Jake woke to find someone was playing with his ear. He was stiff and sore from a second night of sleeping on an unforgiving surface, but the soft little bundle curled up against him was worth the aches and pains he felt. A good stretch would take care of most of them.
Skip. Cassie. Cave. It only took a moment for Jake to realize where he was and who he was with. If not for Skip nuzzling his ear, he might have kept right on sleeping, enjoying being cuddled up with Cassie. He rolled away from her with a groan.
He heard her rustling around and turned to look at her. Cassie had propelled herself to the cave wall and had the blanket pulled close around her. Her pale blue eyes were huge in her pale face as she looked frantically around the cave. Her will-o’-the-wisp hair flew out in every direction and she raised a shaky hand to push it out of her eyes.
“I’ll . . . er . . . check to see if the water has gone down,” Jake said and hastily left the cave. Skip followed him out. The rain had subsided, leaving behind crisp blue skies and a fresh wind, and much to Jake’s relief the water in the valley wasn’t as high as it might have been. That was a good sign. Maybe they’d be able to pass through the valley instead of going farther up into the mountains. It would take them all day to go over the mountains to his place and Jake wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand to be in Cassie’s company without kissing her.
Jake willed his body into submission. This was getting ridiculous. Cassie Parker had him so twisted up he didn’t know what he was doing. He was missing work at his place to take care of her. He had his men camped out on her property protecting her sheep. He was spending more time on her sheep than he was on his cows. And for what? She wasn’t interested in him and he refused to fall for another woman who didn’t want him. As soon as he got her back to her place, he was done with her.
Skip nudged him with his nose and Jake put his arm around the horse’s neck and gave him a good rub. “I know you’re hungry, boy,” he said. “You’ve worked hard and I’m standing around feeling sorry for myself, because I’m no better than a stud after a mare in season.” Skip rubbed his head against Jake. “Don’t pretend like you know what I’m talking about,” he teased the gelding.
His saddle sat right inside the cavern, so it was easy enough to grab it and get Skip ready for the trip down the mountain. With luck he could have Cassie home before breakfast. And after that . . . well, it was Saturday, so he might as well go to town.
Jake stepped back into the cave once Skip was ready to go. “The way is clear,” he said. Cassie was dressed in her clothes and struggling with her boots. Jake quickly moved to help her.
“Let me,” he said.
“I can do it,” she said, and hobbled a few steps away from him.
“You are stubborn beyond words.”
She huffed in indignation. Jake tilted his head sideways to get a better look at her in the dim light. She was pale as a ghost and her skin was covered with perspiration. He touched her forehead and Cassie jerked away from him.
“Settle down,” Jake said. “I think you have a fever.”
“I know I have one,” Cassie said wearily. “I’m burning up and I feel dizzy.”
“Yet you won’t let me help you put your boots on.”
She looked at him in exasperation.
“The sooner you get your boots on, the sooner you can go home,” Jake said.
“Do you take pleasure in always being right?” Cassie said, and handed him a boot.
“Only when it is you admitting it,” Jake said with a laugh. “Lean against me and I’ll pull them on.” Cassie lifted a dubious eyebrow in his direction. “Cassie.” Jake sighed. “If I wanted to take advantage of you, I’d have had plenty of opportunity last night.”
“Hmph.”
“Don’t flatter yourself too much,” Jake warned. He spread his arms. “I’ve got all day if you want to dillydally.”
Cassie gave in, albeit not gra
cefully, and leaned against him. She didn’t seem any bigger than Josie. Jake braced her against his leg, put his arms around her and when she lifted her foot, he yanked her boot on. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.
“You’re not done yet,” Cassie said, and handed him the other boot. He did the same and put his arms on her shoulders to stand her upright when he was done.
“Your clothes are still wet,” he observed.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Are you always this cranky in the morning?” Jake asked.
“Are you always this cheerful?” Cassie replied.
“At this rate I won’t be for long.” Jake picked up the blanket, along with his shirt and socks. He quickly got the gear together and tied it onto the back of his saddle. Cassie stood by the entrance of the cave, watching him. “Ready?” he asked when he was done.
Cassie nodded and hobbled to Skip.
Jake sighed. He would grow old watching her wrestle with her pride. “Don’t shoot me,” he said, and picked her up and put her on Skip’s back. She made a face and settled gingerly into the saddle.
“I can’t,” Cassie said. “I lost my gun somewhere in our climb yesterday.”
“Does that mean you would?”
“I’m tempted.”
Jake grabbed the reins and led Skip down the way they’d come. “Why don’t you wear a holster?”
“I can’t find one that fits.”
“Have Gus take a measurement next time you’re in town. He can order one.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“How’s your hip?”
“Sore.”
“A good soak will take care of it.”
“I hope so,” Cassie said. Jake glanced over his shoulder at her. She didn’t look good at all, but she wasn’t complaining. The slope was treacherous from the rain and the going was steep. All Jake could do was let Skip have his head and hope that Cassie could hang on. Skip passed him by, as Jake tried his best to stay upright until they got down to a gentle slope.
