by Scott, J. S.
Jared averted his gaze. “I’m afraid that would be impossible.”
“You want to do business together. How can we do that if you can’t learn to trust me?” she asked him breathlessly.
“That’s what legal contracts are for.”
“Are you planning on having your lawyers draw one up?”
“No,” he rasped, looking relieved when their lunch arrived.
Mara waited until the waiter had delivered Jared’s lobster rolls in front of him, and her fish special to her. After she assured the friendly teen that they didn’t need anything else, he departed.
She went through the motions, taking a bite of her fish and then the fries, wondering desperately what to say to Jared. “You need a contract,” she finally told him adamantly. “And I don’t see any reason why we can’t be friends.” For God’s sake, he’d had his tongue down her throat not so long ago. She’d hate to think that he wasn’t even a friend.
He began to devour one of the two lobster rolls he’d ordered, waiting until he’d finished it before commenting. “I think it would be very difficult to be friends with a woman who keeps my dick hard the entire time I’m in her company. I also don’t think I’d be imagining a friend naked and begging me to fuck her every time I look at her.”
Mara nearly choked on a sip of her water. She swallowed—barely—and coughed a few times after she’d gotten the liquid down. “I can’t believe you just said that,” she told him in a harsh whisper, more upset by her body’s volatile reaction in the middle of a restaurant than the fact that he had no problem talking dirty to her.
He paused and gave her a sultry, dark look that made her core clench so tightly that she had to clamp her thighs together.
“Why not? It’s the truth.” He looked around the restaurant. “It’s not like anyone could hear me.”
Mara flushed, her face heating so much she was starting to sweat. While it was true that nobody was seated that close to them, she was squirming from him just casually declaring that he was having those kinds of carnal thoughts about her. And Jared had no problem letting her know about them . . . boldly. “I heard you,” she squeaked.
“I know.” Jared shot her a mischievous look as he bit into his second sandwich.
“It’s not like I’m trying to make you think about . . . that.” God, she got even more hot and bothered just from looking at his teasing, sexy smile.
“I know that, too,” he admitted. “Doesn’t matter. I think about it anyway.”
Mara munched on her fish and chips, trying desperately not to let Jared Sinclair fluster her. “I’m not going to have this conversation with you in the middle of a restaurant.”
“Then we can have it once we leave,” he answered huskily.
“Business and pleasure don’t mix.” She was going to let him help her get a business off the ground. It wasn’t like her choices were many, and she wanted to make something of her life. Her mother and gran’s business was all but gone, and the business-minded part of her knew that she could have a modicum of success with her consumable products. Much as she didn’t want to take advantage of Jared’s generosity, she was going to let him be her business partner. She’d succeed; make sure she didn’t let him down. She doubted her paltry business would ever add much to his net worth, but she’d make it prosperous.
“They won’t mix,” Jared agreed. “The business is yours. The pleasure will be ours.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin and dropped it onto his empty plate. “Have you known real pleasure, Mara? Has any man ever made you come until you were so sated you couldn’t move?”
Her eyes still on her plate, she answered, “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re asking.” She could feel the heat of his gaze caressing her, but she couldn’t look up. “I had a steady boyfriend when I went away to college.”
“What happened?” he grunted, his tone careful and wary.
“He dumped me as soon as he found out I was dropping out of college to take care of my sick mother,” Mara told him informatively. She really didn’t think about her one sexual relationship anymore. She’d still been a teenager, and she could barely remember what he looked like.
“Bastard,” Jared hissed.
Mara shrugged. “It was college. We were young. Honestly, I didn’t miss him all that much. I was too busy with my mom. Obviously, it wasn’t real love.” It hadn’t even really been lust. Mara was pretty sure she’d hooked up with a boy in college just because she’d been lonely, and it hadn’t helped.
“Is there any such thing as real love?” Jared mused skeptically.
Her head finally snapped up to look at him. “How can you ask that when you see Grady and Emily together every day? And Dante and Sarah. I also don’t doubt that your sister loves her husband just as much as Grady and Dante love their wives. You have some wonderful examples of love, yet you don’t believe in it?”
He was digging his wallet out of his back pocket as he replied blackly, “I think all of them are crazy. But it works for them, I guess.” Jared dropped some bills on the table and took the check the waiter had left while they’d been talking.
“You pay at the register here,” she directed him, distracted. “So you’ve never been in love?”
His beautiful eyes pinned her with a dark look. “Just like you . . . I thought maybe I was once. If you must know, I also thought I had a best friend back then, too.”
“What happened?” she asked him breathlessly.
“I found my supposed best friend fucking my supposed girlfriend.” Jared’s expression grew darker, his green eyes swirling with emotion.
Oh, dear God. No wonder he was so cynical, so disbelieving. She couldn’t imagine the pain of seeing two people you cared about so much betraying you together, finding both of them untrustworthy. Obviously, nobody had ever done right by him since, taught him anything different than the betrayal he’d experienced. Maybe it was because he’d never let anyone in again.
“What did you do?” Mara’s heart was breaking as she asked the question anxiously.
“I killed both of them,” he told her flatly, breaking eye contact with her abruptly and getting up to make his way to the cash register to pay the bill without another word.
CHAPTER 6
He was almost numb at the funeral, standing back from the crowd of mourners who surrounded the casket about to be lowered into the ground. Since he was the one responsible for the death of the woman about to be buried, he wasn’t sure he even needed to be here. For some reason, he had needed to be present, the compulsion to be here too strong to ignore.
It was the second funeral he’d attended in the last two days.
He could hear the keening wail of sorrow coming from the young woman’s mother, and he clenched his fists restlessly when the casket disappeared into the ground as a clergyman blessed the female who had died just days before.
Flowers were dropped on top of the casket, and he heaved a sigh of relief that it was over.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered the same husky words he’d spoken at the funeral the day before. And he meant them, even though he’d been responsible for her demise.
Barely able to process the fact that she was gone, that she’d never again take another breath on this earth, he turned away from the grave site, ready to make his escape. A lone tear escaped from his eyes, and he brushed it away angrily. He couldn’t show any emotions. Not here. Not now.
“You!”
He stopped, immobilized as he heard the voice of the deceased woman’s mother. Unmoving, he let the older woman beat at his back as she wailed, “You killed my daughter. I hope you rot in hell for what you did.”
Turning slowly, he let her slam her fists into his chest. It didn’t hurt. Nothing she could dish out would match the anguish he’d suffered emotionally the last few days. “I’m sorry,” he said to the grief-crazed woman right before she let her h
and fly and slapped him across the face so hard that it jerked his head to the right.
“Sorry doesn’t bring my daughter back. You killed her. You killed her. You selfish bastard.” Her voice rose with every word she screamed hysterically.
The words rang through his head, the truth undeniable. His chest heaved with remorse as he let her take her anger out on him. He deserved it. Darkness started to blur his vision as he panted, unable to breathe, imagining the young woman in her casket beneath the ground.
“I killed both of them,” he admitted brokenly, his voice filled with horror as he clawed at empty space to stay upright and conscious.
Jared woke sitting up, his hands clawing at the sheets on the bed, sucking in huge gulps of air. Shuddering, he tried to slow down his breathing as he swiped at the sweat on his forehead.
Not again!
Christ! He thought he’d gotten over his nightmares. It had been a few years since he’d had the one about the funerals, and he’d thought he was finally going to get a permanent reprieve from the fucked-up shit that tortured him while he slept.
He didn’t talk about it.
He didn’t dream about it anymore.
He’d stopped caring—or so he thought.
I shouldn’t have talked about it today.
Jared cursed himself for screwing up as he lay back on his pillows, wondering why in the hell he’d blurted out his sordid secrets to Mara Ross. To her credit, she hadn’t asked any more questions. She’d dropped him off to get his car where he’d parked at the farmers’ market and had said a polite good-bye to him as he’d exited the truck, embarrassed for spilling his guts to her. Granted, his somber mood hadn’t exactly invited any further conversation, but he was fairly certain that he’d probably frightened the shit out of her, rendering her silent.
Why the hell did I tell her? I found peace from nightmares, and I had my control back, dammit. I have for years.
Rolling over in bed, he pounded the pillow, trying to alleviate his jumbled thoughts so he could sleep again. Regardless of how he’d blurted out his dark past to Mara, he still planned on helping her, whether she wanted his help now or not. She was likely afraid of him now—what woman wouldn’t be if he’d blurted out that he was a killer?
It won’t keep me from helping her out, even if I have to do it anonymously now somehow because I opened my big mouth and told her the truth.
Flopping onto his back again, he scowled into the dark as thunder rolled outside, the wind starting to kick up as the rain began to fall. Jared could hear the fat droplets as they plopped against the glass of his bedroom windows.
I wonder if her roof is leaking. I wonder if she’s okay.
He found himself actually counting the days until he could get Mara out of that house, a death trap disguised as a neglected home. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been able to discuss their business any further because he’d been uncomfortable talking about anything after his confession, but he planned on tracking her down early in the morning. He’d stalk her if he had to until she agreed to his terms. Her ability to make a living depended on it.
“Fuck,” he cursed in a harsh whisper as his house vibrated with the next roll of thunder, the lightning momentarily illuminating his massive bedroom. The storm just kept getting worse, the rain pounding against the windows as the howling wind made the droplets come down at an angle. “She’s probably drowning in that damn old house.”
Jared sat up in bed again, frustrated. He wasn’t going to fall back asleep anytime soon. Leaning over, he clicked on the bedside lamp, got out of bed completely nude, and wandered over to the window. The only thing he could see was the beacon of the lighthouse in town, situated at the end of the Amesport Pier. Amazingly, the coastal town actually had a functioning lighthouse. In an era of GPS, radar, and other technology, so many lighthouses didn’t function anymore. Hoping like hell there were actually no boats out in this ferocious storm, he focused his gaze toward the approximate area where he knew Mara’s house was located.
Nothing but darkness.
It was well after midnight, and most people in town were sleeping. Even if they weren’t, it was unlikely he could actually see lights that were any dimmer than the blazing glow from the lighthouse from this far away. Although he’d built his home on the side of the Peninsula closest to Amesport, and his bedroom window faced town and the Atlantic, downtown Amesport was still a few miles away.
Turning away from the window even more aggravated, Jared searched for his pants on the floor and rifled through the pockets until he found his cell phone. He crawled back into his bed, gripping the phone hard in his fist, willing himself not to call her.
She’s sleeping. You aren’t going to call her now.
But what if she wasn’t? What if the house was leaking so badly that she wasn’t asleep? What if she needed help and nobody was there to help her?
In the end, Jared dialed her number, contact information she’d given him back when he’d been researching his family history. Come to think of it, he really needed to talk to her about handing out her number so easily to anybody who might need information. But right at the moment, he hoped like hell that it was her home phone as well as her business.
“Hello?”
Mara’s sleepy, husky voice made Jared’s dick stand at attention immediately. Erotic visions filled his mind. They all included Mara in his bed with him, in various positions, and always coming hard.
He clasped the phone, knowing his greatest pleasure in having Mara here in his bed would be that he would know that she was safe, away from a home with a leaking roof and other possible safety hazards.
“It’s me.” Stupid response, but it was about all he could get out of his mouth when he was imagining her in his bed, naked and having multiple orgasms.
“Hello, you.”
Jared listened intently, able to tell by her breathlessness that she was sitting up in bed, becoming more aware of her surroundings. “Is your roof leaking?” he asked abruptly, feeling like an idiot now because he’d given in to the urge to call. She’d obviously been sleeping comfortably. The last thing she needed was a middle-of-the-night call from a near-stalker acquaintance who’d just admitted to killing two people earlier that day.
“It’s leaking pretty badly. I’m glad you called. I need to change out the buckets.”
His heart was pounding as loud as the rain against his house, relief washing over him as he realized he hadn’t scared her away because he’d opened his big mouth earlier. She didn’t sound the least bit frightened of him.
I’m glad you called. I’m glad you called. Jared didn’t much care why she was okay with him calling her, it only matter that she didn’t mind.
She needed to change the buckets—as in more than one container? Jared wondered what the hell time she’d gone to bed. How could the leaks possibly fill a damn canister or pot that quickly? “You need to get out of that house,” he growled, feeling even more protective of her because she wasn’t uneasy with him. Obviously, the woman didn’t have the smallest bit of instinct for self-preservation.
“I know,” she agreed forlornly. “But I only have a little while longer to live here, and it’s been my home since the day I was born. And I have no place else to go yet.”
You can be with me. I want you to be with me.
Jared closed his eyes, almost able to feel her pain. His childhood home had been a prison, and he’d been counting the days until he could escape and go away to college. Mara’s situation was completely different. She had loved her mother, and leaving her home had to be difficult. He didn’t completely understand her sorrow, but he could reason it out. And for some fucked-up reason, he could feel her, even though he never let any of his emotions touch him anymore. “It will all work out okay. We didn’t get to discuss business today, but I have a guest house that you can take over, and you can use the house to start production of yo
ur products. Hire whatever help you need. Get whatever equipment you want.”
“You want me to live with you? Start my business there?”
Hell, yes.
“You wouldn’t be exactly living with me. The guest house is separate from my residence. We can find the right property eventually, get you a shop. But it would take some time. You don’t have time.” She needed to leave that dilapidated house as fast as possible.
“I’m going to have to show you that I can turn a profit first, before you pour your money into a shop,” she replied agreeably. “I understand that.”
Jared opened his eyes and shook his head, even though she couldn’t see him. “It isn’t that. It will take time to find the right place, the right location. Since you don’t have the luxury of time, we can use my place for now.”
“But you aren’t always here in Amesport—”
“I’ll be here for a while,” he cut her off abruptly. Leaving wasn’t an option right now. He had Dante’s wedding coming up, and he had no desire to leave Mara in the middle of her business setup. He hesitated before asking gravely, “Why haven’t you asked me about what I said earlier?” She hadn’t asked him a single question. Even now, when she could easily grill him from a safe distance on the phone, she hadn’t mentioned his history or the secrets he’d revealed. Obviously, he could avoid the subject, pretend like he’d never mentioned it. She was going to allow it. But he needed to know.
Mara sighed. “Jared, what happened in your past isn’t my business. I’m sorry for your pain, and I don’t want to push you to talk about anything that causes you more hurt. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
He scowled. “I killed two people. That doesn’t concern you just a little?”
“No. Whatever happened, I know you didn’t murder them.”
“How in the hell do you know what happened?”
“I don’t know what happened, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen,” she answered gently.
