by Marla Monroe
“I don’t have a freaking clue.” It was the first time they’d done this. Why did Phillip think he’d know?
“Sorry, you don’t have to bite my head off.”
“Don’t worry, he’s an equal-opportunity biter,” Lacy said with a frown.
Phillip sighed and stared at Cam.
“Fucking take her somewhere else while I take care of this. You can leave the bin keys on the dash of the buggy.”
“Cam,” Phillip began.
“Just do it.”
Phillip took Lacy’s hand and pulled her along with him toward his buggy. He’d screwed up again. Things had been going great, and her jumping out of the buggy like that had scared him. That always made him say or do something stupid. She would be riding back with Phillip, so he wouldn’t even have a chance to apologize. As if he ever did, anyway.
She was growing closer and closer to Phillip and farther away from him. It was his own fault, but he didn’t know how to stop it. Nothing he did or said turned out right. He liked her. He cared about her. Maybe even loved her, but his fear for her kept him on her shit list. He seemed to be staying on it more than he was off it. He had to do something. He couldn’t spend the entire winter cooped up with her and not be able to touch her without worrying about her. Maybe being inside where she wouldn’t be in danger would help. God, he hoped so. Because otherwise, it was going to be a long, cold winter.
Chapter Nine
Lacy tried to let Cam’s words roll off her back, but she couldn’t quite manage it. Tears welled up in her eyes. She fought hard to keep them from falling, but one made its way down her cheek.
“Aw, baby. Don’t cry. He didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just stressed over delivering the crops for the first time. Remember, this is all new to us.” Phillip hugged her close then smiled down at her. “Let’s go shopping.”
“Where are we going to put stuff without the trailer?”
“They’ll wrap everything in plastic wrap and hold it for us to pick up later.”
“Oh, then let’s do the grocery shopping first,” she suggested.
“Your wish,” he began.
She laughed and put a finger to his lips. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to command anyone.”
They filled their list and added a few things in that they hadn’t thought about. Once they were through at the groceries, they headed for the mercantile store. They picked out clothes for the winter for her and replacement clothes for the men. She got a much-needed pair of boots to work in the garden and a pair of work gloves that fit her hands.
While she was there, she met one of the women from the shuttle who’d married the owners of the stores. She was picking up some material for sewing. They chatted while Phillip talked to one of her husbands. It was good to talk to another female for a change. They laughed about getting used to the longer days and the different plants and animals. She asked about some of the other women and found out that everyone was married now. Several of the women were already pregnant as well.
Lacy wondered if she were going to get pregnant or if she couldn’t. What would the men do if she couldn’t get pregnant? Would they want another wife? The thought nearly doubled her over in pain.
“Hey, Lacy, are you okay?” Phillip suddenly grabbed her and turned her to look at him.
“Yes, yes. I’m fine. Just a slight headache. I guess the trip was a little harder on me than I thought.”
They said good-bye and Phillip took her to a small restaurant where they got coffee and Phillip got a sweet roll to go with his. He tried to give her a bite, but she honestly didn’t think she could eat anything right then.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. I have a little headache is all. I haven’t had one in a long time. It’s already going away.” She forced a smile she didn’t feel.
“If you say so. You’re still awfully pale.”
They finished their coffee and waited another twenty minutes for Cam to show up. When he didn’t, Phillip had he stay there while he went to see if they had trouble getting the trailers unloaded.
“Don’t go anywhere. Get another cup of coffee.” He kissed her quickly on the mouth and hurried out the door.
Lacy ordered another cup of coffee and sipped on it for what seemed like hours with all sorts of odd thoughts running around in her head. Uppermost was the thought that Cam was mad at her again. She couldn’t seem to do anything to please him for long.
Thirty minutes later, they both walked in. She stood up, but Cam waved her down and walked up to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee for him and Phillip.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
Phillip looked over at Cam and nodded. His smile was obviously forced. Something was up and it involved her somehow. What now? She felt her heart sink.
“Everything’s fine. The trailers are all unloaded and Cam has most everything loaded up now. We’ve been waiting while he did all the work.” Phillip sipped his coffee.
Cam wouldn’t look at her, but then he didn’t look at Phillip either. It was strange the way he looked everywhere but at them.
He drained his cup and sat it on the table. “You two ready to head back home?”
Lacy immediately stood up. “I’m ready.”
“Good. Let’s head out.”
Phillip frowned then quickly drained his cup and pulled on his coat.
They followed Cam out to where the buggies were parked in the center of the little town. She let Phillip help her up into his buggy and watched as Cam climbed into his. When Phillip started the buggy, he glanced toward her and frowned.
“Put on your harness and wrap that blanket around you. It’s going to get colder as the sun sets.”
“Right, sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” She quickly wrapped up in the blanket after fastening her harness.
“So everything went well with the crops? They were like they needed to be?” she asked Phillip.
“Yep, everything was good. Even weighed in heavier than we had hoped.”
“Hey, that’s great.” She smiled and reached over and squeezed his leg.
They chatted on and off the rest of the trip. By the time they returned home, she was almost asleep. She waited for Phillip to cut the engine and come around to get her down. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
If Cam noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He didn’t say much of anything. She studiously ignored him and reached up to take a box from Phillip as he handed it down. She carried it in the house and put it away before meeting Cam at the door with another box. She took it from him and unloaded it.
They worked like that in silence for several minutes until she finished unloading a box and he wasn’t there with another one. She walked out to get the next box and heard them arguing inside the trailer. She stopped and listened when she heard her name.
“What in the hell were you doing looking for her anyway?” Phillip demanded.
“I wasn’t looking for her. I just asked how many were left that hadn’t chosen, and they said they’d all gotten married,” Cam argued.
“Then how did you know Rachel was married to Andrew and Danny?”
“I asked, okay? I was curious, is all.” Cam’s voice rose.
Lacy couldn’t stand it. She hurried back into the house and upstairs to the bathroom. She closed the door and threw up in the toilet. She was shaking all over but knew the second when Cam walked in the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing. I had a headache and it got worse. I’ll be out in a minute.” She held a bath cloth to her face.
“What’s going on?” Phillip’s voice sounded behind Cam.
“She said she had a headache and it got worse.”
“She did earlier. I didn’t realize you still had it, Lacy. You shouldn’t have been unloading the trailer with a headache.”
She felt his hands at her shoulders. She knew they were his because Cam wouldn’t have touched her. No, Cam was in love with Ra
chel who was married to someone else. How stupid could life be?
“Come on, Lacy. Let’s get you in a warm bath and then to bed.” Phillip attempted to help her up. She stopped him.
“I can handle myself. You go help Cam unload the trailers. I just need some quiet, and I’ll be fine. Go on.” She pushed at Phillip’s arm until he stood up and left her.
She roused herself a few minutes later and took a quick shower and climbed into bed. She wanted to sleep and forget about everything for a little while. Despite being upset, she was worn out and fell asleep almost as soon as she lay down.
* * * *
Phillip was worried about Lacy. She’d been feeling bad ever since they’d gotten to town. Now she’d been sick and she didn’t want them around her. Was she pregnant? Or did she simply have a bad headache? He didn’t know what to do for her, so he left and helped Cam unload the trailer.
“Phillip. Is she pregnant?” Cam finally asked once they’d finished.
“I don’t know. It’s certainly possible, but she did have a headache earlier. It’s probably just the headache.” Phillip watched Cam’s face. “Does it matter to you if she is or isn’t?”
“Have you ever thought about what we would do when it comes time for the baby to be born?” Cam asked him.
“What do you mean?”
“Who’s going to deliver it? We’re two fucking hours from town.”
“We’ll get her there in time, and if we don’t, then we’ll deliver it. You’ve turned into a real worrier. What gives?” Phillip couldn’t understand Cam anymore.
“Nothing. I’m just not sure they thought all of this through when they sent us out here.”
“It’s an experimental colony, Cam. You knew that when you signed up. Hell, I was the one that wasn’t so sure about coming. You talked me into signing up.”
“Maybe I made a mistake.”
“Cam, what the fuck is going on?”
“I don’t know, okay? I can’t stop worrying about Lacy. I’m afraid something is going to happen to her and it’s going to be our fault. The fucking animal out there that we haven’t seen is worrying me. The damn mole thing that we never caught is worrying me. And now, I’m scared to death she might be pregnant.”
“Yet you were asking about another woman earlier. I don’t get it, man. You need to get your head on straight, because we’re about to be snowed in for the next few months, and I’ll be damned if you’re going to make her miserable. She’s gone out of her way to try and forge a relationship with you, and you’ve jumped on her every time.” Phillip took a step back when he realized he had gotten up in Cam’s face.
“I know. I’m worthless scum. I care about her, man. I just feel hemmed in. Like everything is pressing in on me.”
“There are two of us for a reason, buddy. We share the pressure. You’ve got to quit taking it all on yourself, and let me have some of it. You haven’t said a thing about this other animal bothering you.”
“It’s gotten closer to the house than any of the other animals we’ve seen, but we haven’t seen this one at all, just its tracks,” Cam said.
“How close?” Phillip asked.
“It’s been all around the edge of the garden, but hasn’t been in it as far as I can tell.”
“The ultrasonic device either isn’t affecting it or it’s getting used to it and slowly moving closer,” Phillip mused.
“Yeah. I’m not even sure it’s been only at night. What if it’s been watching Lacy while she’s been working in the garden? I don’t like it.”
“I wish you’d said something sooner.”
“I thought that if one of us shouldered most of the worry, the other one could take care of her. I guess I was wrong.”
“What else is going on?”
“That’s really it. I’m beginning to wonder if the mole that we didn’t catch is something other than a mole. All the other moles have been easy to catch. This one has eluded us all summer long.” Cam leaned back against the empty trailer.
“Look, we share the burden from now on. You don’t keep anything from me, and we both take care of Lacy. She needs you, man. You’re part of this relationship, and without you part of her is empty. It’s no wonder she has a headache.” Phillip stuck out his hand.
Cam nodded and they shook on it.
“Let’s get the trailers put up so we don’t have to get out in the morning. I have a feeling it’s going to start raining or snowing tomorrow,” Cam said.
“For real or just a shower?” Phillip asked. Cam was the one who could predict the weather better than anyone he knew.
“Probably a good little one, but not too much to worry about, yet.”
They backed the trailers under the sheds and closed the doors, then parked the buggies under the one by the house. They walked inside and locked up the house before climbing the stairs to find Lacy passed out asleep in bed with the covers over her head.
“Shit, she’s had it.” Cam said.
“Yeah. I think your stress is rubbing off on her, which is another reason you’ve got to share some of that with me. We’re making her sick.”
“I’ll sit with her until you get your shower,” Cam said.
Phillip nodded and hurried to the bathroom to shower so he could get in bed with Lacy. He wanted to hold her. He hated that he’d left her to unload the trailers, but it had to be done and Lacy hadn’t seemed to want them around. She must be one of those types of people who didn’t like anyone around them when they were sick. He’d have to remember that for the future.
As soon as he was dried off, Phillip climbed into bed and Cam left to shower next. He pulled Lacy back into his arms and stroked her forehead with his hand, smoothing her hair back from her head. She didn’t even stir. She was exhausted.
Phillip hoped she wasn’t pregnant yet. They needed to get Cam out of his panic mode and calmed down before she turned up pregnant. He would drive them all insane as it was now.
Cam walked out of the bathroom drying off with a towel. Once he reached the bed, he discarded it and climbed into the bed and rolled over but backed up against Lacy.
“Is she warm enough?” he asked.
“Yeah, I think she’s okay. Don’t move, though. I only have one half of her covered. You get the other half of her,” Phillip told him.
“What if I want all of her?” Cam asked.
“You’ll have to fight me for her,” Phillip said, only half joking.
“That’s what I thought.” Cam didn’t turn over.
Chapter Ten
Lacy woke up early the next morning surrounded by the men. She was toasty warm but needed to go to the bathroom and she was hungry. She lifted her head and checked the clock. It was only a little after five. They would sleep awhile if she could manage to get out of bed without waking them up.
She extracted her arm from around Cam and started pulling out of Phillip’s embrace.
“What?” he mumbled.
“Go back to sleep. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
He jerked up. “Are you sick?”
“No, just need to pee.” She climbed over him. “I’ll be back.”
He nodded and lay back down. She heard his soft snore seconds later as she tiptoed to the bathroom.
She hurried through her morning routine and grabbed some clothes on the way out the bedroom door. Then she stopped and dressed on the landing before hurrying down the stairs to make coffee. The sleep had chased away the last of the headache, but she didn’t feel that much better. Knowing that Cam wasn’t going to love her tore her up inside. She realized in that moment that she had fallen in love with them—both of them.
Once the coffee was ready, Lacy poured a cup and sipped on it while trying to decide where to start on storing away the supplies. The men had brought it all inside and lined the cabinets with it. Staying busy would help keep her mind from dwelling on finding out that Cam was in love with Rachel.
She worked for nearly an hour before she stopped an
d fixed a bowl of cereal with reconstituted milk. She poured another cup of coffee and ate while she let her mind wonder over what to fix for lunch and supper that night. When she took her bowl to the sink, she looked out the window and saw that it was snowing. She wondered if it were like the snow at home, or if it would be different there.
Lacy sighed and turned around to get back to work on the supplies and ran into Cam. She yelped in surprise.
“Hey, easy. I didn’t mean to startle you. I said good morning, you must not have heard me.”
“Um, no. It’s snowing outside.” She knew it was a stupid thing to say since he could see out the window over her shoulder.
“Yeah, I figured it would start today.” He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I was sick last night. I don’t get headaches that often.” She looked down, afraid he’d know she was lying.
“It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass lately. I’ve let things get to me too much.” He lifted her chin with a finger and bent down to kiss her.
She didn’t move or close her eyes. He sipped at her lips, softly licking them then sucking her lower lip into his mouth to stroke with his tongue. When he released her, she took a step back. He seemed surprised that she’d moved away.
“What would you like for breakfast?” she asked him.
“Um, I’m just going to eat a cereal bar. I’ll help you put all of this away.”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have stuff you need to do with the weather changing and all.” She turned her back to him so he wouldn’t see the tears she’d suddenly developed.
“I hate to leave you with all of this. I can help. Just tell me where you want it and you can sit and direct.”
“Really, I enjoy doing this.”
“Okay, but I know you have stuff on the top shelves in the pantry. Tell me what goes on them, and I’ll take care of those, then leave you alone.” He sounded tired now.
“Okay, thanks.” She pointed out the two boxes of canned goods that went there.
