"They do not like me because I broke John's heart. I told him I did not wish to be his wife," she said and pulled us along again.
"Wait," I said and pulled her to a stop again, sloshing water over the side again.
"Katherine, we have work to do."
"Tell me why."
Her exasperated look turned suddenly to shame and she looked away towards the men.
"I did not want to leave him a widow. He said he would love no other.”
I walked beside her when she pulled us along, realizing what she had done. Emma had thought she was going to die, and chose to deny her love, John. And to see her, who always seemed so excited about everything, now so at odds with being near him once more, it made my heart hurt.
"But you're better now. He can ask again, can't he, or is that forbidden?" I asked, speaking a little quieter as we drew near to the first group of men.
The men paused in their work, leaning in to take the cups we had and dipping them into the cool water to take a drink. The men did not introduce themselves; they merely drank their fill and passed the cup around, ignoring us. When they were done, one of them nodded and we moved along towards the next group of men.
As soon as we were out of earshot, Emma answered me.
"Of course he can, Katherine. But I broke his heart. I shamed him by denying him.”
"How do you know that? If he will love no other, then he still loves you," I whispered, afraid that the men near us could hear our conversation. She didn’t answer me until we were on our way once more to the next group.
"You do not understand, Katherine. He is a faithful man. But his father is most pious. He did not approve of me breaking his son’s heart. I denied his family. I am not the wife John needs," she said and pulled me along roughly only to come to a stumbling halt before the next group of men, all young and beardless.
Her breath caught as the first came towards us, a good-looking man with wavy blond hair and deep brown eyes. He seemed a little older than the rest, perhaps a year or two older than Nathan. His smile was quick, like a radiant blast of sunshine before he restored himself to a more stoic demeanor. He tipped his straw hat back a bit as he walked towards us, his long gait bringing him to us quickly. The other men followed him a little more slowly. I recognized Mark among the young men of this group.
But their leader was looking intently at Emma.
And again, the briefest smile on his face.
"Pleasant day, Emma," he said softly, tipping his head towards her, his eyes never leaving hers.
Even I could see the adoration in them.
This was John Wittmer.
And there was no way that he did not absolutely love the girl beside me.
He looked on her for longer than any of the other men, his eyes never leaving her even as the cup was passed around. Emma kept her eyes downturned, avoiding his gaze until the men turned to leave. When they were far enough away, she glanced towards me and nodded.
"John, this is Katherine. She is visiting our family. Katherine, this is John Wittmer," she mumbled.
John's adoring gaze drew away slowly so that he could finally look my way, his smile suddenly polite as he nodded to me.
"Welcome, Katherine. I have heard much about you. I am most happy to see you have made friends with my Emma," he said quietly, his voice resonating in the hot air.
"She is a wonderful friend. I am grateful to meet you," I replied, feeling my own heart flutter at how he seemed to watch her.
His smile widened for a moment before he looked off past my shoulder, a flash of amusement passing across his face before the more polite look slipped back into position.
"I am keeping you from your duties, I must apologize. Emma, may I sit with your family at mid day meal?" he asked, his focus back on Emma.
She nodded and blushed, staying silent as he nodded and turned back to the work on the long wood fence. I glanced at Emma as she let out a soft breath and shook her head slowly, trying to pull herself together. I put my hand on her shoulder gently and urged her on, quiet as we walked to the next group of men.
We emptied the bucket, heading back twice more for water before we made it to the last group of men at the top of the far field, mending the fence beside what looked like a large cow pasture. It was the last group of men that made me stumble like Emma had when she had seen John.
Before me with a large sledgehammer in his hand was Nathan Fisher.
I heard Emma let out a soft giggle and tugged me back into motion. My eyes couldn't look away from him, drawn, as they seemed to be from my first glance at him. His arms moved, the sledgehammer rising in the air in a perfect arch to land squarely on the fence post, driving it into the ground. The man across from him copied his movement, but somehow, it was not nearly as mesmerizing.
Nathan swung again, his body moving with a graceful rhythm accompanied by a low grunt as the iron met wood. Again the man copied him, then again Nathan swung.
Swing. Thump.
Every movement was crystal clear in my head as I watched in awe. A flash of moisture escaped, flying from his head as he swung and the noise of the hammer connecting in the background to the noise that escaped Nathan's lungs on impact made me flush. The damp shirt clinging to his back that moved when his back moved, bunching up and pulling out around the suspenders was a sight I would remember long after the sun went down. The way his bottom lip slipped into his mouth when he noticed I was standing there, watching him work, only made me much more aware of his pull on me.
I looked away hurriedly and kept my eyes turned towards Emma as the men slowly moved to take a drink, Nathan lingering in the back of the line until everyone had had their fill. I watched as his scuffed boots stepped up beside me as he took his turn to drink down the cool water. I chanced a glance up towards him, hoping to give away nothing of the draw I felt, but the steady blush on my face was a dead give away to my conflicted feelings.
And his sweet, bashful smile only made me blush more.
"Pleasant day, Emma. Kath…Kate," he said softly around his cup, the first part of my name barely audible before he was swallowing down a long drink of water.
"We have missed you, Nathan," Emma said sweetly. "Will you eat with us today? I know Fannie is hoping to see you."
Nathan glanced at me for a moment, as if to read my thoughts on the matter of him eating with us. I looked down at my feet, fighting to keep myself calm and neutral, but I could feel my cheeks burning as he watched me. Nathan returned the cup to the water bucket and took a step back to return to the task.
"Please tell Fannie I would be grateful to sit with you. Until mid day," he said and turned to return to his work, his back yet again the image burned into my mind as he picked up the hammer once more.
I felt Emma tug me along, realizing after a moment that I was still staring. We hurried back to the water pump, filling it up and carrying it back towards the gathering of women, who were busy making final preparations for the meal. Fannie saw us and motioned us toward her.
"Excellent, Emma. Would you two help Sarah with setting up the food tables?" she asked and turned back to the task of cutting up the chicken in front of her.
We made several trips in and out of the house heavily burdened with casseroles and bowls of food. My arms had begun to feel numb by the time Sarah finally dismissed us and sent us out to find a place to settle in to eat. It seemed Fannie had made a comfortable spot by an old oak, providing room and much needed shade in the worst heat of the day. She waved us over, looking off towards the field when an old fashioned bell rang out.
I followed her eyes and watched as the men turned as one and made their way towards us, separating to find their families. Jonah walked towards us with John and Mark in tow. Fannie turned to us and handed us small hand towels. I looked down at them, confused.
"The men will need to clean up," Fannie explained, pointing to our bucket that was sitting by the tree, full of water. I looked down at the towel again and blinked at the idea that I woul
d get to see Nathan washing up again.
Hannah stood by Mark, who grinned down at her own smiling face. I watched as Emma took a deep breath and moved towards John, who was watching her intently. He took the towel with a soft thank you and hidden smile, causing Emma to appear even more bashful. I smiled at the thought that he did really care about her. It was simply a matter of time before he asked her again.
I looked around our little gathering for the familiar black hat, seeing nothing but straw as I craned my neck to find Nathan. He was nowhere to be seen. I felt a bit left out, standing there alone as the other couples tended to one another before settling into places on the quilts Hannah had laid out. I moved towards the bucket, the vantage a bit higher so that I could see well. But still there was no sign of Nathan.
The men reclined on the quilts while Fannie and her daughters made their way towards the tables of food, where plates were being filled and passed out. I looked a final time towards the gathering of men as they mingled and found their places before I sighed and tucked the towel into my waist and started towards the food line where Fannie and her daughters waited.
I stood quietly behind them, listening to the conversations as they flitted past.
New babies.
The Schmidts had to put their bull down.
It would be a tough winter again.
A simple life.
Not if the Giant's had scored.
Or the new movie that had become a blockbuster.
Nor the newest trend in fashion.
I glanced around again, catching a few eyes looking my way, but for the most part I seemed to be ignored. I found that odd. Perhaps it was because I was with the Bergers. I watched as people passed Fannie and smiled and wished her well, looking back towards our camp out to see Jonah speaking with several men before they ventured on their way. I was learning that they held a respected position in the community.
Abigail pulled me along, laughing quietly as she watched me take in the surroundings. All work had stopped, families sitting close together but the entire community within hearing distance so that the Bishop, a tall man that Emma pointed out could speak as we made plates of food.
I was making my way back to the Bergers when I noticed Nathan.
He was standing off by himself, behind the tree where the men had cleaned up. His eyes were tracking me, and the knowledge that he had been watching me made my skin tingle. Emma looked his way and let out a frustrated sigh.
"He is nervous, Katherine. I would say he is worried about sitting too close to you, or maybe too far," she whispered, grinning when I grunted and shrugged.
"I don't care where he sits," I muttered, although to be honest I was hoping he would sit near me. Then perhaps I could speak with him.
Figure him out.
He continued to watch me, his eyes flickering briefly towards the plates before he would look away, sucking on his bottom lip as if trying to make a choice in something. We arrived to our blankets, the men sitting up and smiling in anticipation as Fannie and her daughters handed the men their food. I was left standing with two plates, glancing towards Nathan as he slowly made his way towards us.
I pretended to ignore his approach, placing his plate near the edge of the blanket, as if bribing a wild animal closer. I sat down carefully, tucking my legs under me and sitting straight with my back to Nathan's plate, wondering if he would finally sit down and eat with the family. Jonah's booming voice gave him no alternative.
"Nathan! Please come sit with us! Katherine has brought you a plate. Come sit with us, do not linger there!"
I felt him draw near, hearing his voice soft as he thanked Jonah and sat down near me. I continued to sit facing away from him, waiting patiently for prayers to be said. The Bishop stood and raised his arms to call for silence. He was a tall man, with a strong presence. He looked around as the community quieted down, his voice carrying in the quiet afternoon air. His voice was deep and carried across the yard, so that it was easy to hear his words.
"Brothers and Sisters. This is a blessed day. Once more our community comes together to help one in need. I am thrilled to see the commitment of so many young sons and daughters help out one of our Elders. As you know, Elder Wittmer was in need of our assistance, after a hard winter, one that so many of us felt deeply," he said, his booming voice carrying through the trees.
At mention of the winter, I heard a soft sigh leave Nathan from behind me. I knew the Bishop’s words had made him remember his loss.
Without looking behind me, I leaned back, letting my hands rest behind me on the blanket. I could sense Nathan behind me, could feel his foot touching my extended hand as I sat stock still, willing some energy his way. I felt his fingertips brush against mine; one finger curling with my pinky finger for only a second and then it was gone. Just that brief touch filled me with the fluttering feeling I always felt when I thought of him.
The Bishop’s prayer complete, everyone turned to the food, the buzz of conversation building once more. I chanced a glance towards Nathan behind me, swallowing when I noticed he was watching me. He offered me a tremulous smile before turning his attention to John and striking up conversation. It was difficult for me to concentrate through the meal with his voice so close behind me. I sat there listening, forgetting to put the fork in my mouth many times. His voice was melodic as he spoke of typical mundane things.
Abigail leaned in close to me and looked over my picked meal.
"Do you not like your food, Katherine? You have eaten very little.”
I shook my head.
"Oh no, it's all very good. I just can't eat this much in one sitting. I'm full and we haven't even gotten to the pie yet," I said.
"Did you make pie, Katherine?" Mark asked, grinning like a hungry Yogi Bear.
I blushed and nodded, ignoring Hannah's glare.
"Well, I am looking forward to it," Emma said happily. "Apple is my favorite!"
"It would be," Hannah muttered under her breath, noticing Emma tense.
“Hannah,” Jonah warned quietly from far end of the quilts.
“I just mean to say that it did not do Adam well, the apple,” she said and glanced at Nathan with a knowing look.
I heard a breath behind me, as if Nathan made to interject, but I beat him to it. This was something I knew.
"The forbidden fruit is never truly referred to as an apple, Hannah. Artists depicting Adam and Eve used the apple because of its appearance. Scarlet, round and full of juice and heavenly goodness that can only be sinful if stolen from the tree. Some scholars have argued that it might be the pomegranate, or dates or even figs. But the Forbidden Fruit is knowledge itself, is it not? The more you know, the more you are bound to the Earth and the sins of man. The apple, however is discussed in the Bible in more than one occasion as a positive entity," I said, watching as Hannah's eyes narrowed at my knowledgeable explanation.
Just because I was an Englisher, did not mean I didn't know anything. True, I knew little about God and the Bible. I didn't go to church. But what little I did know would be my talisman. I was suddenly thankful for that Religious Studies class I had taken my only semester in community college.
Nathan's soft voice startled me.
“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."
I turned to look at him, his eyes contemplative as I nodded.
“Psalm 17:8," he whispered, his eyes focusing away from me as if embarrassed to have spoken.
"That's right," I replied. "The Bible refers to the apple of one's eye as the pupil of one's eye, or the center. It is a reference to Israel, and the center of God's love."
Nathan cleared his throat and looked up towards Emma, smiling.
"So by loving apple pie, Emma, it seems that you are one with God's love," he explained.
I grinned at the clever interpretation Nathan had come up with, watching as Hannah scowled in the corner near Mark while Emma and I rose with Fannie to take the empty plates away. Emma pulled me clos
e as we walked, glancing back towards Nathan before she laughed softly.
"How did you know that, Katherine? You surprise at every turn! I think you impressed Nathan with your knowledge," she exclaimed softly.
I shrugged and glanced back to find Nathan still watching me. When our eyes met, his lip would twitch upward and he would look away hurriedly. His glances did not go unnoticed. The Bishop, standing by a tree near the food tables, cast a long contemplative look towards Nathan, and then to me. His face was unreadable as he turned and walked away, sitting with the elders.
As we neared the table where the desserts were laid out, we were joined by some of the girls that had watched Emma and I earlier. Their leader, a tall redhead, offered a simpering smile to Fannie as they passed. They lingered behind us as Emma and I cut up slices of apple and blackberry pie to take back. Fannie and Abigail loaded up with plates and made their way back. As soon as Fannie was out of hearing range, the redhead spoke up.
"Katherine, is it? You do not act like one of us, with your laughter and willful arguments with your family. Are you from a neighboring community that has looser laws?" she asked, her voice high and nasally.
"She is visiting, Joanna. She is a guest," Emma replied coldly.
Joanna ignored Emma and continued on.
"Surely you do not plan on remaining here? Or are you looking for a husband?" she asked and glanced back at Nathan with a smirk when she caught him watching me.
I straightened and gathered up the plates in my hand, turning to the redhead with determined eyes. After Hannah, I was finding my courage.
"I'll stay for as long as the Bergers allow me. I am happy to help them with whatever they wish of me. They have made me feel welcome," I replied, trying to sound calm. Joanna glanced back towards the Bergers and laughed, her laughter sharp like glass breaking.
"Yes, the Bergers are most charitable. I am sure they are not the only ones that have made you feel welcome," she said and turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.
I let out a breath and shook my head at Emma as she huffed beside me on our way back.
Healing Faith Page 9
