I clenched my jaw in frustration.
Kids.
“Shh!” I said, making a “zip it” move with my hand. “We have to be quiet or the bad guys will find us. Have you seen a boy named Jacob or a girl named Liz?”
Polka-Dot Pajamas pointed down the dark corridor. “Creepy, evil, twitchy goat legs took him in there.”
A damp, cold wind howled from the shadows beyond the bright, sickly lights. The staff creaked in my fists. The horses’ cobweb-colored tails swished as they finished their apples. I looked back at the kids’ sad, lost faces as they huddled together. They were all staring up at me, waiting for me to tell them what to do. I was suddenly the adult in the situation, not the freaked-out kid.
What would Vee do? I thought. What would Liz do?
Pumpkin Sweater reached out his arms to me. I scooped him up, thinking he wanted to get down, but instead, he just hugged me, burying his face in my neck.
“My name’s Timothy,” whimpered the little boy. “I live at 555 Edgehill Avenue.”
“It’s going to be okay,” I said, patting him on the back. It felt good to feel a heartbeat other than mine.
I carried him to the floor, and then I saw the other kids were reaching their arms out to me. I helped each of them out and got the warmest hugs I’ve had in a while.
“Okay. Now, uh, go upstairs and, uh, wait by the big front doors,” I whispered, pointing up the craggy stairs. “If I’m not up in ten minutes, run and find the police.”
“I can’t,” wailed Cowgirl.
“You can,” I insisted. “Nothing’s impossible. Even if you’re little. Now stop being annoying and go hide.” I spun her around, making her face the stairs.
That seemed to start a fire in the little girl. Her spine stiffened, and she jutted her chin forward. The other children quickly followed Cowgirl marching up the stairs. Cowgirl stopped at the top and glanced back at me with an anxious look. I waved for her to run and she finally did.
Leaving the sparkling, pulsing tunnel of evil screens, I followed the black wires snaking into the shadowy depths. I exhaled heavily and entered the chamber of nightmares.
39
I crouched behind a spiraling rock, staff braced against my heaving chest, stealing glances around the dark temple. An enormous fire burned at the other end. Silhouetted by its red glow, the Grand Guignol stared into a large glass box that hovered under his palms. Firelight beamed through the glass, creating prisms of incredible rainbows that crisscrossed around the dark chamber.
Someone was lying on a black satin pillow inside the box. It was Jacob.
LITTLE LOAF!
He was breathing, fast asleep. Good. Alive is good. But he was trapped in some kind of monster jewelry box. Not so good. Something was on his head. I squinted through the array of colorful shafts of light to see . . . wires running into a helmet strapped to his head. He looked like a supernatural science project. I could see his eyes rapidly darting under their lids. He was mumbling in his sleep.
Poor little guy, I thought. He’s having a nightmare and living one at the same time.
“Dream, little one” I could hear the Grand Guignol coaxing. He held his palms over the floating glass box, like he was warming his hands over a campfire. “Feed on the children’s fears and let the nightmares come.”
I held my breath. Hugging the chamber wall, I quietly crept through the shadows, careful not to let the Boogeyman see me. I looked into the darkness for any passageways or weird holes where he might have stashed Liz. No such luck.
I really wish Liz were here.
I slid the staff between the straps of my backpack, keeping it tucked behind my shoulders. I was exploding with energy, and not in a good way.
“Grab Jacob and run. That’s all you gotta do,” I whispered.
GONG!
A deep, loud bell rang. It echoed off the temple walls. The clock struck midnight.
GONG!
It was now or never. I crouched into a sprinter’s pose and tried to steady my breathing.
GONG!
I ran for Jacob. Sneakers pounding.
GONG!
A tremor rolled beneath the huge ancient temple, throwing me off balance.
GONG!
I wobbled and kept charging forward in a curvy line as the room shook.
GONG!
A crack shot through the ground, zigzagging from under Jacob, splitting the temple floor like an eggshell.
GONG!
Beneath my feet, chunks of the ground fell into a howling chasm. I jumped back from the fiery break. Hot winds shot from the divide that now separated me from Jacob and his captor.
The Grand Guignol’s eyes were bewitched, crazy. He didn’t see me through the curtain of swirling smoke. He was too enchanted by what was rising from below.
“‘Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?’” he whispered gleefully to himself.
Spirals of golden light rose from deep within the broken earth. A living cloud of twinkling glitter blew up into the monster cathedral.
“‘With silver bells and cockleshells. And pretty maids all in a row.’”
Tingles prickled my skin as I watched the glitter, this dream dust, swirl into hundreds of thick floating shapes.
Jacob screamed in his sleep and writhed in his glass chamber.
“No, no!” came Jacob’s trapped, muffled cry.
I clamped my hands over my mouth to hold in my scream as I saw, with awe and terror, just why everyone said this five-year-old was so special.
Giant rats, goblins, snarling gargoyles, a fanged rabbit, foot-long centipedes, a dentist wearing a white jacket, and a hundred other unspeakable nightmares now filled the temple with throaty growls and haunting moans. It smelled like a sewer had exploded.
I clung to the wall, desperately trying to hide.
“Hello, darlings,” the Grand Guignol called.
Oozing eyes and slimy mouths turned to face the Boogeyman. He held out his hands, welcoming his carnival of monsters.
“Happy All Hallows Eve. Forever,” he said with a proud smile.
40
A gargoyle threw back its head and roared to the ceiling. The others joined him, crying their own freaky laughs or squeals.
The Boogeyman waved his hands higher and higher, rousing their vicious cheers.
I crouched down low behind a pile of fallen rocks and jammed my fingers into my ears, afraid I might go deaf or crazy from their blood-chilling shrieks. Squinting, I saw Jacob tossing his head back and forth, still trapped and asleep.
The hairs on the back of my neck rose, like an angry cat. I boiled with rage for the poor, helpless boy. Jacob had a gift, a remarkable power, and this jerk was twisting it for evil.
The monsters’ attention was fixated on the Grand Guignol, who was giving them a motivational speech about taking over the world.
“In a few moments, we will be charging up the stairs and out into the world,” said the Boogeyman. “This is our opportunity to feast and push humans to extinction, just like they pushed us to extinction.”
He was all revenge this, devour that. Blah, blah, blah. Point is, their backs were to me. This was my only chance.
Fists clenched. My lips curled into a snarl. I was panting, like a wild dog. Maybe it was the magic nightmare dust in the air, but I felt myself becoming just a little bit of a monster. Scary part was, I liked it.
I shot from my hiding place, dodged a birthday clown, and sprang over the jaws of a horny bullfrog.
My mind raced faster than my legs. Careful. Stay low! I don’t think they see you—ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE!
I slammed into a pack of undead businessmen. Their dry limbs exploded, and one of their heads rolled by me like a soccer ball, glaring at me.
“Braaaaaains,” the businessman’s head groaned.
This caught the attention of other nightmares nearby. I scrambled to my feet and ignored the sea of evil turning toward me.
I needed speed to make it across the fiery crack a
head. I ran, jammed my staff into the edge, and vaulted into the mist.
WHOOSH. WHAM!
I tumbled to the floor, skidding to a stop beside Jacob’s glass prison. His eyeballs shook under his lids. I threw open the top of the glass box and tore the weird dream-helmet off Jacob’s head.
Growls of confusion and disapproval rumbled around me. Through the wall of swampy gas, the monsters leered at me.
They’ve seen you, Kelly. No time. Just run.
I shook Jacob, screaming his name.
“You’re too late.” The Grand Guignol smiled, stepping toward me.
My blood raced, and I jabbed my staff at the cloven-hoofed monster. “Back off!” I screamed. “You have no idea what I’m capable of doing to you!”
The wretched monster put up his hands in mock surrender.
“You’re too late, Kelly,” he said, looking down at Jacob, who was stuck in a coma-like state. “I’ve been feeding him a steady dose of fear. He’s petrified. My little goose is going to lay golden eggs for me until he’s dead.”
Tiny glitters of light rose from the depths of the cavern. More nightmares.
“The bigger the fear, the sweeter the nightmare! Aren’t they just gorgeous?” he said, casting his hand across the twisted, hideous faces of his small army. “And these are just the beginning.”
I clutched Jacob close to my heart. I made a wish. Not a wish to leave or run and hide. But a wish deeper and greater than myself. A wish to put an end to this nightmare and wake this poor, helpless child.
I felt Jacob stir in my arms. I looked down, and his eyes blinked open.
“Kelly?” Jacob said with groggy terror.
“I got you. I got you,” I whispered as I held him.
The tiny glitters of light stopped rising and fell back down into the earth.
Hundreds of monsters still remained, but at least there would be no new ones.
The Grand Guignol’s wrinkled mouth hung open in anger and amazement. If it was possible, his corpse-like skin grew even paler. His breath quivered. “That can’t be. SLEEP! SLEEP, BOY!”
But Jacob was wide-awake.
I snarled, satisfied with the Boogeyman’s shocked expression. There was no time to waste trading clever banter with this turd. I threw Jacob over my shoulders and looked back at him. “Piggyback?” I said.
He smiled. “Piggyback.”
Jacob clung to my neck, wrapping his legs around my waist.
“Stop!” demanded the Boogeyman.
“Love to stay and chat, El Grande,” I said, “but it’s way past this little guy’s bedtime.”
Monsters leaped across the chasm, charging toward me. I held Jacob and ran, ran, ran.
Barks. Roars. Snapping jaws. Skeleton hands, ragged paws, and blobby messes grabbed at us. I swung my staff, knocking them aside.
With Jacob’s arms wrapped around my neck, I clung to the boy’s legs and hurdled across the growling sinkhole, barely making it over to the other edge due to the extra fifty pounds of ankle biter on my back. We spilled across the floor, heads clunking together. Through dizzy spots dotting my vision, I saw a sea of monster feet marching toward us.
I yanked Jacob off the ground and sprinted. Behind us, I heard the Grand Guignol scream, “Kill the girl and bring me the boy!”
41
I slung Jacob onto my back again as we ran into the screaming tunnel of TVs. The four ghastly horses raised their heads in the hopes I had returned with more apples.
I quickly undid their bridles and waved my hands furiously at them. The horses bucked and kicked, charging into the path of the monsters chasing us.
CRASH! The nightmares collided with the horses in a clatter of bones. They toppled to the ground, creating an epic monster pileup.
I rushed Jacob into the palace. My lungs burned worse than the time I tried (and failed) to run a seven-minute mile in gym class.
The four other children, who were huddled by the ancient gate on the other side of the cave, saw me and waved their arms in relief.
I held Jacob close and sprinted toward the towering doors.
Someone stepped in my path.
Liz.
“Liz! Oh, thank God, you’re—”
Her eyes were pure black. Her face was bloodless and her expression evil. Her lips looked like she had been drinking squid ink.
“Possessed,” I finished with a gulp.
Liz snarled at me with wicked, spellbound intent.
“Liz!” exclaimed Jacob. Excited to see his favorite babysitter, he squirmed off my back.
“No!” I cried, grabbing for him.
Liz glared down at the boy with a dark expression. “Come to me, Jacob. I’m your favorite.” Jacob slowly backed away from her, shaking his head.
“She looks scary,” he whispered.
“Too much mascara,” I said.
“Give him to me!” Liz snarled, stalking toward us.
Jacob hid behind me while I thrust out my staff, keeping Liz at a distance.
“You’re not a bad person, Liz,” I said desperately. “I’ve seen you sing the theme song to Frozen. You change diapers. And you love kids way more than I do.”
Liz swatted the staff away and tackled me. She was so strong I could barely hold her off.
“But, Liz, I love you,” said Jacob.
“Run, Jake!”
Jacob ran toward the other children. Liz lunged at him, but I jammed the staff between her ankles, tripping her. I scrambled to my feet and planted the Staff of Destiny on her chest, trying to keep her pinned down.
“You love Jacob!” I cried out. “He’s like your family . . . remember?”
Liz grabbed the staff and tried to wrench it from my hands. I held tight, my arms growing weak.
“You’re not alone, Liz,” I said. “I’m here. . . .”
I saw something flash across Liz’s face. Something was stirring inside of her.
“And we can find Kevin. Together.”
Her jaw clenched. Her neck muscles strained and pulsed. She was fighting the Grand Guignol’s control from somewhere deep inside of herself. From the part that remembered her brother.
“Jacob’s here! I’m here! And—and—we’re in big trouble, so you better help us!” I pleaded, trying to draw her out of the darkness.
The ground below us shook with the monster’s trampling footsteps.
They’re coming.
Liz let go of my staff and gagged on a deep, guttural, phlegmy cough.
“We’re your friends, Liz!” I looked back at Jacob, urgently encouraging the scared kid to say something.
“Yeah, Liz,” Jacob whispered.
Liz gurgled and heaved up a thick chunk of dripping gray slime. The world’s biggest loogie splatted on the floor with a wet thwack. Liz gasped for breath. Her eyes blinked back to normal. The blood rushed to her face.
“Liz?” I pleaded.
She gave me a weak smile; her lips looked rose colored, full of life.
An angry grumble sounded between us. Liz’s loogie glared up at us with gooey, beady little eyes. I jabbed my staff down at the slimeball, and it quickly scuttled across the floor, like a jellyfish sliding across an ice rink.
“You . . . came back for me?” Liz said.
“Well. Yeah.” I shrugged.
“Why?”
“You’re my friend, stupid.”
Liz smiled.
“You guys!” Jacob called, pointing behind us.
The Grand Guignol and his army of nightmares swarmed up the staircase. The snot-goo creature trickled up the Grand Guignol’s leg and stuffed its gloopy body into a small snuffbox the Grand Guignol held in his outstretched hand. The Boogeyman snapped the lid shut and tucked the box into his jacket pocket.
Liz and I stood protectively before the children. Liz cracked her knuckles.
“Ready to throw down, Ferguson?” she said coolly.
Uh . . . no.
“Liz. There’s like a hundred of them and two of us.”
Liz
scanned the approaching army of nightmares.
“Okay, maybe you’re right,” she said.
We turned to the enormous doors, but they slammed shut with an ominous boom. We tried to pry them open, but there were no handles, and each one of them must have weighed a ton. We were trapped, and the smorgasbord of monsters was lurching toward us.
“Boys and ghouls, dinner is served,” the Boogeyman called merrily.
Hundreds of wretched mouths, maws, beaks, fangs, and jaws opened as the monsters descended upon us. The children hugged me and Liz. I pressed my back against the massive stone door and swung my staff helplessly. If I was going down, I was going down swinging.
Boom. BOOM. BOOM!
I felt the door shudder. Something enormous was banging on it from the other side. I heard voices. Human voices. My eyes lit up.
“DUCK!” I screamed.
The door exploded. Chunks of rock and stone flew over our heads, wiping out a few monsters. Smoke and rubble filled the palace.
The Grand Guignol and the monsters paused.
“Baron? That you?” he called with a hint of uncertainty.
Something flew through the opening, landing at the Grand Guignol’s feet with a heavy, moist thump.
It was a giant sea monster’s tentacle. Severed at the base.
“My Leviathan?” whimpered the Grand Guignol.
Human feet clamored through the hole. A wave of excitement rushed inside me. Through the settling smoke, Mama Vee, Berna, Cassie, Curtis, and Wugnot dropped down beside us. Their faces were covered in sucker marks, and their clothes were dripping wet.
“Vee!” I cried out. “Berna!”
But the babysitters’ eyes were fixed on the Grand Guignol’s devilish stare. Our happy reunion would have to wait. It was time for business.
“Veronica?” he said. “Yeesh. You got old.”
“And you got ugly,” she said.
The Grand Guignol flicked back his wisps of dead hair. “Thank you.”
“Didn’t I kill you once?” she sneered.
“Can’t kill the Boogeyman, darling. I’m just too pretty.”
“Now, Curtis!” she commanded.
Curtis heaved a teddy bear bomb into the snarling horde of nightmares. BOOM! Monsters went sailing. As the nightmares scrambled, Mama Vee rolled into a somersault, pouring a ring of blue powder around the Grand Guignol’s hooves. She lit it on fire.
A Babysitter's Guide to Monster Hunting Page 17
