by Grant, J. R.
If it were me and the roles were reversed, I would have lost my shit, plain and simple. Going through as much as my wife had only proved how strong she really was. That was another reason why I loved that girl so damn much. Whatever life threw her way, Jazz fought tooth and nail to be happy.
Mom got up and started fixing dinner, so I retreated down the hall, hoping my dad would talk to me. I knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer. Just what I had expected.
Jazz was sitting on the recliner rocking Savanah. She had fallen sound asleep. She was teething and had been miserable the last couple of days. I was just glad they’d finally broken through her gums. Any kind of mouth pain hurt, regardless, but when it was your own child suffering through agony and pain—when there was nothing you could do to fix it—that shit would make you go fucking crazy.
I loved my little girl with all my heart, but hearing her cry like she had earlier tore me up. I was thankful Jazz knew how to get everything under control. I wouldn’t have known what to do.
“Did you find out anything?” Jazz asked as I took a seat on the sofa.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, looking directly at my wife. “Nope. I knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer.”
She continued staring at the TV and shook her head. “We’ve gotta know something, B. It’s not fair to keep that information hidden from me.”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m doing the best I can, Jazz. It’s not like I can force the man to tell us. Shit. What do you want me to do?”
What did she expect? I couldn’t hold my father down and demand the words out of his mouth. I was doing the best I could, and yet nothing was working.
“I’m just as aggravated as you.”
“What’s up, fuckers?” The front door flew open as Kelly and Brayden stormed inside my parents house. Mom rounded the corner, charging out of the kitchen and into my brother’s arms.
“It’s so good to have you home, Bray.” She hugged Brayden.
“It’s good to be back, Ma. I missed you.”
Ma held Bray’s cheeks just like she did all of her kids and then gave him an Eskimo kiss.
“I missed you too, love. So much.”
Kelly and Ma hugged, while Brayden made his way over to Jazz and me. He leaned down and kissed my wife’s cheek and then kissed the top of Savanah’s head.
“What’s up, bro? How you been?” We slapped hands and pulled each other in for a hug.
“Not a whole lot, man. What’s going on?”
“Good, good. You see the game Sunday night? That shit was insannneeeee. Coach pulled Cousins out and put McCoy in. Shit was wild.”
“Yeah, I saw it, man. I felt bad for Cousins, though. He’s a good quarterback; he just hasn’t been given the proper training like everyone else.”
“I hear you, dude. We won and right now that’s all I care about. Cousins will get his, mark my word. Change is coming.”
We talked shit about the other teams and stats from some of the guys we followed. Just watching my little brother’s face light up anytime we talked about one of his games made me happy. Brayden deserved to be right where he was. There was no question about it. He was a truly dedicated football player. I couldn’t be more proud of him.
Jazz laid the baby down on the couch and then walked outside to talk to Kelly. While they were out front, Brix and Tanya arrived. Brody couldn’t make it back this weekend. I was sure every one of us missed him. I hated that we were all so far away from each other, but for now, it had to do. The three of us lived completely different lives. While Brayden and Brody were playing for the majors in different states, I ran my own shop and took care of my girls. I would say each of us had come a long way.
**
Before dinner, Dad decided to come out of the room and join the family. He kept his distance from Jazz and me, but before we headed home, I was going to demand some answers. He didn’t have to live with my wife, I did, and therefore I needed to find out something. I needed to know, so I didn’t have to listen to Jazz cry and complain all night long.
I loved my girl, there was no question about it, but with the week she had, I couldn’t let this continue. She deserved to know the truth and I’d be damned if I didn’t force it out of my father.
The guys finished dinner, while Jazz, Kelly, Ma, and Tanya cleaned up the dishes and put everything away. Savanah was eating noodles beside me, trying to slurp a handful down her throat. Everyone always got a kick out of my little girl every time she ate. Savanah was a beast. She could throw down just like her daddy.
“You got a minute, son?”
Oh, now he wanted to talk. “Are you asking me?”
Dad rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m talking to you, B. Who the hell else has been sitting around here all night with a stick up his ass?”
Figured. When you didn’t give that man his way, he acted like a dick.
I stood up and pushed my chair under the table. Jazz turned around and looked right at me. Her eyes widened. I could tell she was scared. All of this had been too much. There was no way to deny it. But all she needed to do was take a deep breath and calm down. We would get answers, but she had to be patient. My dad could be a difficult man at his old age. Tonight, he proved me correct.
“Go ahead, B.” Tanya rushed over and sat down in the chair. “I got the baby.”
I nodded toward the living room, gesturing for Jazz to follow me. She set the hand towel down on the counter and grabbed her drink, following behind me.
Dad was seated in the recliner when we walked in the room. I took a seat across from him on the sofa with Jazz seated next to me.
“I have to say, this ain’t gonna be pretty. You sure you wanna talk while everyone’s here?” Dad glanced between the two of us both.
I grabbed a hold of Jazz’s hand and gave it a squeeze. She intertwined her fingers, squeezing my hand back.
“I would like to know, Anthony,” Jazz spoke up before I could say anything. “It’s been an emotional week trying to figure all of this out.”
Dad leaned forward, contemplating on what to say.
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out. I probably should have opened my mouth a little sooner, but I didn’t think it was possible.” He rubbed his hand over his face and took a deep breath before he continued.
“After you and Brody were born, your mother and I hadn’t been getting along. Some things happened and I left for a while, giving us time apart. We needed it.” He coughed a few times, and then sat back in the recliner.
“There was this girl I had been with as a teenager. We weren’t made to be together since all we did was argue and fight, but for whatever reason, we kept going back to each other. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s just the way things with us were. There was a time I didn’t know she was in a relationship with Teto. After she’d left for college, we didn’t talk about much. It was more of a sexual deal than anything.”
“Oh God,” Jazz blurted out, and pulled her hand away from me. She covered her face, her body was shaking, and at that very minute, I knew shit was about to hit the fan.
I was going to kill my fucking father.
“I’m sorry you have to hear this, Jazz. You don’t look anything like me, so I didn’t think my relationship with Peyton ever had to come out. Now that I know for certain you’re Peyton’s girl, I can tell that you look just like her.”
That asshole. How dare he do that to me? My father out of all people knew there was a chance he could have been Jazz’s father, and yet he allowed this to happen? He allowed me to marry the girl?
“You mean to tell me…You’re T.J. and that my wife could very well be my fucking sister?” I seethed, fucking irate. I was fuming.
Dad threw up his hands, shouting, “I went by T.J. as a kid, B, but this can’t be right. There’s no possible way. I wouldn’t have let the two of you get hitched had I thought any different.”
“But you aren’t sure? Can y
ou tell me you are one hundred percent positive she’s not your daughter?”
I couldn’t believe what I was saying. None of this seemed real.
I leaned down and grabbed a hold of my hair, pulling as hard as I possibly could. I needed to feel some kind of physical pain, something that would take away the pain in my heart. I was confused, my mind racing a mile a minute. I was two seconds away from losing my shit. Goosebumps traveled across my skin and shivers ran through my body. I sat back, closing my hands in a tight fist, ready to beat the fuck out of my father.
He looked down and shook his head as if he were ashamed.
“Fuccckkkkkkkkkkkkk!”
Brix and Brayden rushed inside the living room. Brayden stood at the end of the couch and Brix sat down beside me. He slapped my shoulder, leaning into my ear.
“I don’t think it’s him, dude. There’s no resemblance, whatsoever. Just be strong for your girl. We’ll figure—” He stopped mid-sentence and jumped forward.
Jazz stood up from the couch and fell straight backward. You could hear the sound of her head smack against the hardwood floor, echoing throughout the room. I dove on the ground, cradling her head in my hands.
“Jazz, wake up, baby.” I shook her body, but she didn’t respond. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head. I felt like I was going to die right then and there. I couldn’t lose my wife. Besides Savanah, she was all that I had. She couldn’t leave me.
I was shoved to the side, as Kelly, Tanya, and Brayden moved around my wife. Brayden lifted her onto the couch, while Kelly checked her pulse. When she couldn’t get a good response, she ran to the car and grabbed a bag, pulling out something to put under Jazz’s nose.
She wiped it across her nostrils then stared at her watch. For fifteen excruciating minutes, there wasn’t any movement in Jazz’s body. When she finally opened her eyes, I couldn’t thank God fast enough that she regained consciousness.
Why was this happening to us? What the fuck were we going to do?
All these years, all that time. That couldn’t be the same man who raised me. He was not the dad I grew up with. What kind of sick fuck was he?
Just when I thought I had the world wrapped around my finger, it all blew up in my fucking face.
“Do you think we should call an ambulance?” Tanya spoke up and asked Kelly, her voice was full of concern.
“Her breathing is fine, T. She just passed out,” Kelly reassured her, as she kept her finger on Jazz’s pulse. “Let’s give her a few minutes.”
Brayden lifted Jazz’s leg off his lap, and slid down on the floor beside me.
“You okay, dude?”
“Would you be?” I said, unable to meet his eyes.
Was I okay? That was a logical question for someone who was sick or having a bad day. But for someone who had just found out their own father could very well be their wife’s biological father, it was the stupidest fucking question I had heard in all my life.
I knew Brayden was only trying to get me to talk, but it wasn’t happening. Not right now. I stood up, making sure no one was in the way, and kicked the coffee table in the direction of my dad. He needed to feel some kind of pain. There was no way in hell he was going to get away with this.
I was so fucking pissed; I almost dared that motherfucker to cross me. It was taking everything I had not choke his ass up and punch him in his fucking face.
Like a bitch, Dad got up and walked out of the room. Good. That asshole deserved to rot in fucking hell. Maybe I was a little harsh, but considering the circumstances, he knew all along what he had done and never said a damn word. To me, that justified being a pussy, no matter which way you looked at it.
A swarm of arms tried to pull me back, yelling and calling my name. But it was too late. The damage was already done. Rage had taken full effect. I was unable to make out who was saying what, because my body had been shaking worse than ever before.
“Fucking chill, B.” Brix threw me against the wall, lodging his elbow across my throat.
Brayden moved around Brix, stepping in close to my face. “Dude, you can’t go destroying our parents’ house. Calm the fuck down.”
He needed to get away from me. There was only so much restraint I had left in me tonight.
“Get the hell out of my way, Bray,” I shouted, as I tried to control my temper. If I were him, I would step aside and let fucking go.
Brayden saw my face and moved to the side, while Brix kept his elbow lodged against neck. I pushed my body forward and stormed out the back door. I needed to get the fuck out of there.
I didn’t understand how you could have everything one minute, and then in a blink of an eye, it would all be gone. But what I did know was that I couldn’t let my family be torn apart.
I would always love Jazz—there was no denying it. I just couldn’t lose her.
I heard someone yell my name, but I didn’t turn around. I felt like a fucking fool. Everything we had spent years building was officially over. Not only would I lose my family, I had lost all respect for my father.
My heart. My soul. My world. Completely fucking gone.
This couldn’t be happening to me, to us, to our family.
There was no reason left for me to live.
Chapter Sixteen
Jazz
I woke up on the couch with a cold rag on my head. Tanya, Kelly, and Bray were seated by me, while Brix had Brax cornered against the wall. I sat up and rubbed my head, confused at what just happened. While Kelly filled me in on everything that went down, I noticed Amelia standing by the entrance of the kitchen with my daughter in her arms. She was crying, the baby was crying, and Amelia’s face was bright red. My poor daughter looked scared to death.
Oh my, God…my daughter. What was she going to think of this mess?
At that moment, everything dawned on me and I remembered what went down as Brax stormed out the back door without saying anything to me. I needed to get out of here. I placed my feet on the ground and tried to stand up, hoping my wobbly legs would be able to keep their balance.
“Whoa.” Brayden rushed to my side. “Not so fast, cupcake. Just sit back and relax.”
I shook my head, needing to get out of here. I felt like I was going to be sick. I covered my mouth and ran down the hall, praying I could make it to the bathroom in time. I lifted the lid to the toilet, losing all the contents in my stomach. I held onto the counter to keep from falling, afraid to let go.
Several minutes passed before the girls barged through the bathroom door. I couldn’t handle talking to them. Not now. They needed to just leave me alone.
“What the hell is going on, girl?” Tanya asked, but I couldn’t answer her.
I threw up a few more times, and then washed my mouth and brush my teeth with my finger before pulling the door open.
“Jazz. Wait,” Kelly shouted and tried to stop me.
I hurried out of the bathroom and ran outside, needing to get away from everything, away from everyone.
I sprinted as fast as I could through the woods across the street. I came out on the other side of the neighborhood, three blocks away from the main entrance. I walked the rest of the way until I spotted a park, stopping at the first bench I saw. I was out of breath, not caring if any strangers were leering around me. Anywhere had to be better than the Sorrentino house. I dropped to my knees and threw my head forward on the grass.
“God, no…please…no,” I cried and screamed all of my emotions out loud.
What had I done to deserve this much pain? I had lived through more than enough heartbreak and grief, and for once, I thought I would be happy. That I finally got my happily ever after. This couldn’t be it. There had to be more details. There had to be more to the story.
I had loved my husband for five years. Five long, joyful years. We built a life together. We had a beautiful daughter, a house, and two growing businesses that ran side by side.
Why now? How could I get to such a good place and have all of this happen?
&nb
sp; What about Savanah? What would she think of me? Marrying my brother and having a child together wasn’t right. It was fucking disgusting. None of this was my fault. There was no way I could have known. Oh, God, did this mean Brax knew? Had he known all along and didn’t tell me? Was this a sick joke?
I sat up and rocked my body back and forth, hugging my legs, needing to feel numb, needing the pain to go away. My heart felt so heavy, I was surprised I was able to function.
My phone rang in my pocket, letting me know someone was calling, but I couldn’t talk. There was no possible way.
The last time I looked at the clock it was around eight o’clock. I couldn’t go back to that house. There was no way I could face any of those people. They all lied to me. Every single one of them.
Car lights flashed through the field and then a door slammed, followed by another. Footsteps wisped through the grass. I didn’t look up, fearful it would be Brax. I couldn’t see him right now.
“What the fuck, Jazzy?” Tanya yelled as she approached me. “It’s dark as shit out here and you’re in a public park by yourself. How the hell did you get all the way over here?”
She sat down next to me. A hand touched my back, so I turned around to see who it was, fearful of the worst.
“Talk now,” Kelly demanded.
I shook my head, not wanting to tell my two best friends. This wasn’t something you bragged about, something you should share with the world. I felt too ashamed. I was sickened, disgusted, feeling the need to run and never look back.
“Oh, but you see that’s where you’re wrong,” Kelly stated.
From behind, someone reached under my arms and dragged my body over to the bench. They set me down with Tanya on one side and Kelly on the other as silence filled the air. The girls gave me a few minutes to catch my breath, seeing how hard of a time I was having. I was crying myself into a somber rest. I couldn’t handle this kind of pain.
“I can’t do this. I can’t,” I wailed, covering my face. My sobs echoed throughout the park
