She only looked more confused, but I had to leave before Matt changed his mind and came after me with a baseball bat. I hurried out of the house.
Well. That was a fucking mess and not at all how I’d hoped things would go. I hated to hurt Matt, even though I’d known that would be inevitable to some degree. But even with all of that, I was relieved. I no longer had to keep a secret from him. I no longer had to hide how I felt.
26
Holly
After Dawn’s outburst, I didn’t know what to do. How was I supposed to explain to her all that had happened when she was like this? And oh, God, Keith. Dawn was sure to come after her father, too. And he would have no idea. Should I text him and let him know I’d told Dawn? Should I try and warn him?
But what if Keith had no interest in being with me anymore? What then? Would he just say to Dawn I’m sorry, it was a mistake, we’re not together? Were all my hopes forever dashed?
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, that I didn’t even think about anything else until I got home from working with the band—and found my dad sitting up, waiting for me.
Dad never sat up to wait for me. He was an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy, and he might be overprotective, but he trusted me when it came to getting home from my work. I’d always been very careful for him and my mom to never catch me breaking curfew or anything like that.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, trying to sound casual. But I could see the look on his face as he sat in the chair in the living room. I knew what that meant. He was livid.
I’d only seen him this angry once or twice before, both times when I had blatantly broken the rules and he’d trusted me not to. It had been the violation of his trust, more than anything else I had done, that had gotten to him.
“Keith was over here today,” Dad replied. He stayed sitting, like a king on his throne. “Told me something very interesting. Something that I would’ve normally called him a liar for, except Keith doesn’t lie to me. Especially not about something like this.”
Oh my God. My heart dropped into my stomach. Keith had told my dad about us?
Well… I couldn’t really be angry. I had told Dawn about Keith and me, after all. Sure, it had been a spur of the moment thing, but that didn’t change the fact that she was probably reading her father the riot act right this moment. I couldn’t blame Keith for telling his best friend what I’d told mine.
I braced myself for the storm that was about to be unleashed.
“Keith told me that he’d slept with you. He seemed to imply it was multiple times.” His eyes flickered down to my stomach. “And that you were pregnant.”
I swallowed. Then nodded. “Yes. It’s all true.”
Dad jumped to his feet and began to pace. “Did he hurt you? Did he drug you? Did he—”
“What? No!” I glared at him. “Nothing like that! Keith would never do anything like that. You’ve known the man for over two decades, how could you think that of him? Do you not trust your own best friend?”
“Well, see, the thing is,” Dad replied, sarcasm coming out, “I trusted him to do the decent thing and not look at my daughter like she was a piece of meat! I trusted him not to sleep with you! And look what happened!”
“He never did anything to me that I didn’t want him to do,” I snapped right back. “In fact, I was the one who chased him. He didn’t come after me, I went after him. He was a gentleman, he kept refusing, I literally climbed into his lap—”
Dad groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“You’re the one who suggested he coerced me, so now you get to hear about what happened,” I said. “I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was the one pushing. I seduced him, because I’ve been in love with him for years.”
My father groaned. “That doesn’t make it any better!”
“Oh? Knowing I pushed for it and it was consensual doesn’t make it any better, interesting, good to know.”
Dad glared at me. “It’s still inappropriate. Keith is too old for you, and he never should’ve laid a finger on you. He’s older, it’s his job to be the responsible one. You’re still barely out of childhood.”
Oh, that did it. I completely snapped. “Don’t you fucking dare say that to me.”
I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever cursed in front of my father before. He looked absolutely shocked. I got a kind of vicious glee out of it.
“You’ve always tried to keep me sheltered, but I’m not a little girl anymore. I haven’t for a long time. I’m an adult, I’m building my career, I know what I want, and I know who I want. I’ve been trying for months to get you to see that I’m an adult, that I’m not perfect or precious and in need of protection. I’ve wanted you so badly to treat me like I’m your equal but you keep just calling me your princess. So in a way—am I happy it turned out like this? No. But I’m still kind of relieved because now, Daddy, now you have to see that I’m an adult, you have to take me seriously, because what other choice is there? You can’t lock me up like in a fairy tale.
“I’m an adult, and you need to accept it. In fact, soon I’m going to be a mother. You’re going to be a grandfather. You don’t have a choice, here. You’re going to accept the fact that I’m not a child anymore and things aren’t black and white and simple.”
Dad was already shaking his head. “I’m not going to just let Keith get away with this.”
“You’re acting like he broke the law. Keith didn’t do anything wrong. He’s been lovely to me, Daddy, absolutely lovely. If I told you how he behaved towards me, and you didn’t know who it was, didn’t have a name, just the description of his behavior—you’d love him, you’d say, finally, a real man, someone who will treat my girl right. And if you do go after him…”
I took a deep breath. “Then I’ll leave.”
Dad stared at me. “You wouldn’t.”
Of course, I wouldn’t want to, but I’d do it. And the thing was—I knew that Dad knew I would. He had raised me to want only the best in life, to never stop until I got what I wanted, and to not care whatever the price was. Well, I wanted a life with Keith. I wanted to marry him, and I wanted to raise my child with him. If doing that meant that I didn’t see my parents until they had come around to the idea of this, then so be it. I was more stubborn than they were, and it was their own doing, in a masterful twist of irony.
“You really want to test me?” I replied. “Wouldn’t you rather have a relationship with me, and with your grandchild? I want you in my life, Daddy, and I want you in the life of my child, of course I do, but I won’t have you disapproving and thinking these hateful things about the man I love.”
Dad sank down into his chair and wiped at his eyes. I rarely saw Dad crying. It just wasn’t his way. But here he was. My heart went out to him, but I had to stay firm.
“This isn’t the life I envisioned for my little girl,” he admitted, his voice thick.
I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. “I know that. But you always told me that you just wanted me to be happy. That was all that mattered to you. Well, Keith makes me happy. He’s been wonderful to me, really. And he’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
For a moment I just held him, and let him get it all out. Then at last, he pulled back. My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for the verdict.
“It’s going to take a lot of getting used to,” my dad admitted. “Same with your mother. But you’re the most important thing in our lives. If this is really what you want… we’ll find a way to be okay with it. Because having a relationship with you is more important than anything else.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” I hugged him tightly. “You have no idea how much I appreciate it or how much I love you.”
He hugged me back, squeezing tightly, and if I cried just a little bit too, well, he didn’t mention it.
After we had worked that out—or mostly worked that out—I went upstairs to take a hot shower. I just wanted to forget the entire day. Dawn was
still mad at me, and while I had spoken to my father like Keith and I were an official couple, I didn’t actually know where Keith stood on anything.
He had told my father about our relationship, I told myself as I started up the water and stripped off my clothes. That was a good thing, wasn’t it?
But then again… we hadn’t talked since we got back to Atlanta. Keith had tried to call me the first night, a few times, but I had been too upset to answer and after that he had stopped trying. Did that mean that he wanted us to be together? Or that he’d given up? I didn’t know.
I stepped under the warm, relaxing spray, and tried not to think about how much I missed him. It was a losing battle. The fact was, I didn’t know if Keith was trying to make things right with my father because he wanted to be with me, or if it was only because Keith was an honest man, a noble man, and he wanted to do what he felt was the right thing.
If he told me he would support his child and be their father but that he didn’t want to ever be with me—I was certain my heart would break.
With the water covering any noises, and no one around to see, I finally let myself sob. Between Dawn’s anger and Keith’s silence, I didn’t know what to do. I could only hope that this would all, somehow, work out in the end. Otherwise, I would be devastated.
27
Keith
I had done whatever I could do with Matt, and now I just had to wait for him to calm down. In the meantime, though, that didn’t mean that I was going to just sit around idly and wait for that moment of calm to come. I still had to make things right with Holly, after all, and she was the most important person to me in this entire mess of a situation.
She was the one who was pregnant and alone, thinking I didn’t want her. And she was the one who’d been putting herself out there time and again for me while I had hung back and hesitated, backtracked, been unsure. Now it was my turn to show her that I was in this heart and soul.
I was just getting ready to go out when Dawn knocked on my bedroom door.
Ah. Great timing. I had planned to talk to Dawn after dealing with Holly, since she wasn’t just my daughter but Holly’s best friend and I’d already gone and told Matt without warning Holly first so—I’d felt I owed Holly that much. But if Dawn was here… I supposed I could tell her.
Dawn had a furious look in her eyes, and I winced. “We need to talk.”
“I can see that,” I said.
I wasn’t about to insult her intelligence by asking what about. I knew by the look on her face that it was about Holly.
“How could you do this?” Dawn demanded. “You and Holly hooking up behind my back? It’s wrong.”
I sighed. “We didn’t do it to hurt anyone.”
“No, Dad, I know you well enough for that. But you sure as hell did it without thinking about me. How could either of you be so selfish?”
“Honestly?” I asked.
Dawn folded her arms and nodded.
“Because we’re in love with each other,” I told her.
Dawn’s eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped a little.
“Look.” I took my daughter’s hands and led her to sit down next to me on the bed. “The thing is, Holly’s had feelings for me for years. She told me so. And she’s a smart girl, you know that. If she had just told me how she felt and told you and told her father, what would’ve happened? You would have flipped out, so would Matt, and I would never come anywhere near Holly, because you two were so upset and I would spend my whole time reassuring the both of you and would never give Holly a chance.
“Holly needed to get me on board first, to prove that we could be something great together, otherwise she knew that her hopes of being with me would never happen. She went about this the only way that she could. She convinced me that we would be a good couple together, and I gave her a hard time about it. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to hurt you or Matt. But eventually I realized how much I cared about her.
“Now it’s time for you and Holly’s parents to know. And I understand that you’re upset we went behind your back. But this relationship wouldn’t exist if we hadn’t taken some private time to figure ourselves out first. It’s a delicate balance, what we owe to the people we love, and what is just our personal business. We haven’t quite succeeded in that balance, I know that. But I hope that you’ll be able to take some time and forgive us—especially Holly. You’re her best friend and I know that hurting you was the last thing she wanted to do. We just needed to… sort ourselves out, to try and keep things private while we got on the same page. That’s all.”
Dawn sat quietly for a long moment, digesting all of this. “I’m not happy with how this all happened.”
“I know. You’re allowed to be upset.”
“Holly said she was pregnant. Is that true?”
I nodded. “Yes. I hope to make her my wife, I want you to know that. I’m not going to abandon her, this isn’t a fling to me.”
Dawn nodded in response, staring quietly at the floor. “Y’know, when I was a kid and said I wanted you to be able to fall in love and know what that felt like, this wasn’t what I meant.”
I laughed quietly. “I know.”
“But I’m happy for you, if you really are in love. You deserve to have that.” Dawn thought for a moment. “And Holly deserves that, too. If this is what you two really want… and if you’re really serious about being with her, this isn’t a fling or anything… then I suppose I can give my blessing.”
“I’m glad. Because I wouldn’t do this without that. I want you to know that.” I took her hand and squeezed it gently. “You’re the most important person in my life and always have been, and just because you’re an adult now and don’t need me the way you did as a child doesn’t mean that I’ll ever stop making you a priority. I want to make sure that you’re happy with this.”
“I’m not happy, exactly,” Dawn admitted. “Not just yet. It’ll take some getting used to. But I want you two to be happy. You’re the two people I love the most, and so if you really want to be together then… I’ll find a way to be okay with that.”
She paused, then added with a small smile, “As long as you two don’t do any PDA in front of me for the next century.”
I chuckled and pulled her into me, hugging her tightly. I knew that I didn’t necessarily deserve my daughter’s swift forgiveness after I had gone behind her back like that. But I was grateful for it and I would do whatever it took to make sure that she was okay with this from now on.
After that, well, there was only one thing left to do.
The music venue that I was at this time wasn’t a usual dive bar or club. It was a proper place downtown, popular and known for its live bands. Holly really was helping her people work their way up in the industry. I was impressed with her.
Now I just had to find her and tell her so, and tell her how I felt.
I knew she’d be near the stage, since that was where she always was on these nights, but I didn’t see her dancing in the middle of the crowd like usual. It took me a few minutes to spot her. She was standing off to the side, arms folded, quietly watching her band perform.
That was a strong sign to me of how down she was. Holly, full of light and fun, not dancing? Just standing to the side? My heart ached.
More than that, though, seeing her again was—such a breath of fresh air. It was like breathing after holding my breath underwater. I’d missed her.
Now that I could see her again, I realized just how much. I’d missed her like I had missed my own heart, like my heart wasn’t in my chest anymore but was inside Holly instead. She owned me, heart and soul, and I never wanted to be apart from her ever again.
I could see the moment she realized I was staring. She got a small line between her eyebrows, then turned her head slightly—and saw me.
Her eyes went wide. Her arms, which had been folded, slipped down to her sides. I couldn’t quite read the expression on her face—it seemed to be torn between hope and fear.
I knew
what that fear was. She was worried I was going to break it off. She had to have spoken to Matt by now, after all. And Dawn knew—which meant Dawn had probably given Holly a piece of her mind. My daughter was never someone to hold back her opinion. Holly had every reason to think, given how angry our family members were (or had been) and the way that I’d just up and left her upon realizing she was pregnant, that I was here to tell her that it was over between us.
Holly said nothing, just stared as I walked up to her. I didn’t know what to say. My heart was in my throat. I had missed her. I loved her. I wanted her and our child in my life, and I wanted to take care of them and protect them. I didn’t know how to say all that I was feeling, the overwhelming tide of emotion that welled up within me.
Instead, I just opened my arms and stepped towards her.
Holly looked like she might cry, relief blossoming on her face, and she stepped into me, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my chest. I held onto her tightly. She fit perfectly into my arms. I wanted to never let her go.
We began to sway to the music automatically. I smiled down at her. “Dance with me?”
Holly wiped at her eyes and laughed. “Of course.”
“I’m sorry I lost my temper. I was upset and surprised and I let it get the better of me. You make me feel things that I didn’t even think were possible and that kind of… made me lose my focus. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“What happens next?” Holly asked. She sounded tentative, like she wasn’t sure if I was going to say we could be together. Like this might be goodbye.
I couldn’t blame her for being concerned. I had spent all of this time trying to resist her and our connection, and had given her no reason to believe that I would be willing to commit to us.
My reaction was to hold her more tightly, to keep us together, to stroke her hair. I wanted her to understand that I was committing to us in every way, shape, and form. We were going to be together. Always.
My Best Friend's Daddy (Forbidden Temptations) Page 16
