by Debra Kayn
"I better get back over to the store. It's time to hang the new arrivals." Paige waved. "Tell Raelyn hi for me."
"Will do," he said.
He wouldn't because there were more important things to get done and he wasn't the right person anymore to relay messages to Raelyn. She'd invite her friends over without letting him know. She'd go shopping without asking him to escort her. She'd walk down the stairs to the bar to start work without knocking on his door asking him to keep her company.
They couldn't go back to hanging around each other, not after having sex or after he claimed her. That's not how relationships worked in Ronacks.
He'd gambled and lost.
His position in Raelyn's life lowered to only her protector. He had no right to her private life.
Carl pushed out the door with a bucket in one hand and a brush in the other. Mel caught a glimpse of Raelyn, locking the door and setting the alarm behind her brother. She stepped out of view after her gaze caught his.
"Fuck," he mumbled.
Death would be easier than living day to day without her.
"Spray the writing with the cleaner first and get to scrubbing." Mel walked over and sat sideways on his bike. The hell with the directions to wait twenty minutes, Carl could use the extra punishment.
"This is bullshit." Carl shook the can. "I had nothing to do with someone painting on the building. Why do I have to clean it up?"
"Because I picked up your ass last night." Mel looked up at the security cameras at each corner of the building. "I'll let you stop whenever you want to tell me the truth about where you got the money."
Carl scrubbed harder in silence, refusing to provide the answers.
"In case you're curious. Ronacks Motorcycle Club decided to keep the cash I found on you." Mel took in the way Carl's jaw tightened. "Your choice, Carl. All you have to do is tell me what is going on."
Mel texted LeWorth. He wanted the findings on the security tapes ASAP.
A car slowed down. Mel glanced over at the male driver gawking at the building before speeding up. Everyone was a suspect until Carl talked.
"You've got three hours until the bar opens. The paint has to be gone before the customers arrive." Mel crossed his arms, prepared to wait Carl out.
Maybe he'd underestimated Carl. He appeared to be as stubborn as his sister. It was going to take more than manual labor to get him talking.
Chapter Twenty
Devastation.
Self-doubt.
Loneliness.
Regret.
Shock.
Delusional.
Sadness.
Those were only the top seven symptoms coursing through Raelyn's shaken body. There were at least twenty more she couldn't put a name to, but they made her sick to her stomach.
"Just drop it." Raelyn pulled away from her mom. "I don't want to talk."
Her mother followed her through the bar. "I don't understand why you're upset. It was Carl who got beaten. He's the one we should be concerned about."
"You, think?" Raelyn rounded on her mom. "Why weren't you concerned yesterday or last week or when you failed to make the rent payment and had the insane idea to travel in a beat-up motorhome with Kevin?"
"Keith," whispered her mom.
"Fine. Keith. Whatever." Raelyn picked a chair off the table and set it on the floor. "Something is going on with my brother."
"I know." Her mom grabbed one of the chairs and helped Raelyn prepare the bar for opening. "That's why I asked you to talk with Carl."
"You're his mom." Raelyn planted the chair on the wooden floor harder than necessary.
"But, he's always been closer to you. He confides in you when he doesn't want to come to me."
Raelyn closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, and forced herself to calm down. Her anger wasn't her mom's fault.
"I married Mel," she stated.
Her mom's eyes rounded. "You...? You're married?"
She groaned. "Not legally."
"Well, what kind of married are you?" Her mom stepped closer.
The kind that would ruin her relationship with Mel. The kind that was supposed to mean a lifetime with no divorce. The kind that if broken would put her on the outside of Ronacks Motorcycle Club forever. The kind that she'd dreamed about, had, then lost, and now had a second chance at.
"Mel claimed me in front of his club. In his world, it's the ultimate commitment," she whispered.
"Oh, my." Her mom held her arms out.
Raelyn walked into her mom's embrace. "I told him I can't do it and we were going to go in front of the club and tell them that any claim Mel had on me was over, but then the bar got vandalized, and now Mel has shut down on me."
"What do you mean he shut down?" Her mom smoothed Raelyn's hair off her face. "He's outside with your brother. He's still here."
"I know, but he's not talking. I have no idea what is going on. Peggy's apartment gets broken into twice. Carl gets beat up. Now someone painted 'You're dead' on my building, and I want to know what is going on." She groaned. "I'm sorry. I never planned to unload on you or bite your head off."
"Lord knows, I've fallen apart on you through the years." Her mom sighed. "Sit down. Relax. I'll take the chairs down and put out the napkin holders."
Doing what her mom ordered, she slumped in the chair. Her phone vibrated, and she pulled out the cell.
Allison: Dukie wants to come down and ask you a question. OK?
The tension eased in her shoulders at the reminder of her son needing her, and she texted back. Poor Dukie caught in the middle of all the drama. As hard as she tried to keep home life calm and the tension away from him, she often failed.
Running footsteps broke into the room. She turned and smiled at the sight of her son running toward her. Skidding to a stop in front of her, Dukie grabbed her shoulders and leaned against her, whispering in her ear. "Can I have an ice cream bar from the kitchen?"
Everyone within twenty feet could hear him. Her son had not learned the art of whispering. She asked, "Did you eat all of your lunch?"
Duke grinned. "Yes."
By the curve of his lips and the simmering eyes, he was lying. She gave her best mom look.
Duke muttered, "I didn't eat the grapes."
She laughed. "Have Allison get the ice cream bar for you, then straight up to the apartment. I'll come check on you after dinner, okay?"
"Okay." He pivoted and grabbed Allison's hand. "Mom said yes."
Raelyn's mom smiled at her, sharing the love only mothers could understand. They might have chosen to parent differently, but she had no doubt that her mom loved her and Carl. The same massive love she had for Dukie.
LeWorth walked out of the kitchen with a piece of paper folded in half. She waited for him to speak, but he walked past her and out the front door without telling her what he'd found on the security recordings.
Her mom approached her and said, "Are the bikers always that secretive?"
"Yep." Raelyn stood. "Unless you're married to one."
Reeling from first Mel and now LeWorth's shun, she forced herself to shake off the bleakness overwhelming her. Whether the implications of not knowing what was going on or breaking up with Mel, life seemed lonelier already, and she was surrounded by people.
Her girlfriends belonged to the club. Her manfriends were the club. Her son was the son of the club. There was not one second in the day that Ronacks Motorcycle Club wasn't involved in her life, and yet she was the outsider. And, after being on the inside, the truth hurt.
Carl walked into the bar carrying a bucket. Raelyn hurried over and stuck her hand out to take the heavy load from him, and her brother shrugged her off. She followed him into the kitchen to the utility sink.
"Thank you for cleaning the wall." She studied Carl's swollen eye and lowered her gaze to his split lip. Always a tough kid growing up, it wasn't the first time Carl came home with a scrape or two, but his beating went beyond a simple fistfight with a kid his age.
"Wa
sn't my choice." He rinsed out the bucket. "Your boyfriend is an asshole."
Her shoulders sagged. "He's not my boyfriend."
"You're sleeping with him," said Carl throwing attitude.
"Well, not anymore," she snapped. "If you want to know the truth, I was married to him."
Carl frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Only for a few days and it wasn't legal in the way you think of marriage." She swallowed. "What did Mel say to you outside?"
"Wait. You can't throw that at me and change the subject." Carl faced her. "What the fuck is going on?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit."
"Watch your language." She lowered her voice. "You wouldn't understand and what goes on between Mel and me has nothing to do with you getting beat up or being gone at all hours."
Carl laughed harshly. "That's rich, sis."
"Where do you go when you're not here?"
He shrugged. "Around."
"What do you do?"
"Not much," said Carl.
"Do you have friends here?"
Carl shook his head.
She sighed. Caught up in her life, she'd ignored all the warning signs, and she should've talked to him sooner when her mom asked her to. She whispered, "Are you doing drugs?"
"No." Carl looked away.
She grabbed his shirt and pulled him back around to her. "Are you selling drugs?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm living above a bar with my mom, Grandma June, and sister." Carl tilted his head. "My '57 Chevy is parked out at the curb pulling my jet boat if you'd like to check it out."
"Okay, smartass." Raelyn moved him out of the way of the sink and spritzed the surface with bleach. Her brother had a level head on his shoulders. More responsible than most kids his age, he was a low-key person who not only preferred his own company, he wasn't a follower. "Let me run something by you."
Carl leaned against the kitchen island. She finished wiping down the area, threw the paper towels away, then washed her hands before turning around and facing Carl.
"How well did you know Keith?" she asked.
"Mom's Keith?"
She nodded. "Was he a loser who would resort to stealing and beating people up?"
Carl laughed, grabbed his ribs, and groaned. "Have you seen him?"
"From a distance." Once her mom showed up at the bar and mentioned her plan to run off with the love of her life, she refused to let her mom go outside and bring the man in.
"He's a punk. Twenty-eight years old and spends his time mooching off friends, smoking weed, and dealing out of his motorhome. He freeloaded off us for two months before Mom got the eviction notice. He promised her money if she'd travel around with him. All he wanted was a front for his recreational business. What cop is going to stop and search a motorhome with mom and Grandma June inside?"
"I get your point," she said.
"As for what he's capable of doing, he smokes, he sleeps, and the odd times he's awake, he's spouting philosophy and talking about killer bud." Carl rubbed his stomach. "He's left town, anyway. I made sure. There's no reason for him to come back and I'm sure we would've seen his beast of a ride parked somewhere if he had."
Voices grew louder in the bar. She rubbed Carl's arm. "It was a long shot, but I thought I'd ask. Why don't you go upstairs and rest, and stay home tonight? I don't need to get another text that you're hurt or have a cop show up giving me worse news."
She checked her phone for the time, surprised to find that she had to open the bar in fifteen minutes. Following the sound of others talking, she entered the main part of the bar and found her waitresses and Peggy. Mel leaned against the counter, away from the others, and motioned her to him.
Her pulse accelerated until she realized that he was no longer her Mel and they couldn't go back to friendship status. Then her lack of oxygen and racing heart only made her nauseous.
Mel reached out and put his hand on her arm, guiding her close to the bar with her back to the others. He put a piece of paper on the counter. "Do you know this guy?"
She studied the grainy black and white picture. Only being able to see a side view, and a bad one at that, she squinted harder. The baseball cap hid most of his features, though the blunt chin looked familiar.
"I don't know." She picked up the paper and peered closer. "It sort of looks like Nate."
"Who's Nate?"
"I don’t know his last name." She handed the paper back. "He comes into the bar on sport's night. I think he works for the road crew because he always comes with the group of men who work for the county."
Mel's gaze intensified. "The one that wears the Seahawks cap?"
"Yeah, and he always drinks four Coors, which he orders during the commercials." She shook her head of the euphoria of being near and talking to Mel and glanced down at the picture again. "I can't be sure, but that would be my guess. Why?"
"Is there a game tonight?"
She handed him the picture back. "Steelers versus Packers at five o'clock. Why?"
He studied her intently, she watched his gaze go from her left to her right eye, back and forth. "Thanks, babe."
His jaw tightened at his slip, and he stepped around her. She grabbed his arm, stopping him as he brushed against her. Her chest tightened as if he'd reached out and squeezed her heart to get it pumping again.
"Why are you asking about Nate?" she whispered.
He looked down at the top of her shirt. "Because he's responsible for leaving the message outside on the wall."
She caught her jaw from dropping and said, "What are you going to do?"
"You're going to stay inside and run the bar." He seemed to grow two inches in front of her before he stalked off and walked out the front door.
She blinked away the tears and smoothed the front of her shorts. He used to give her more information when they were friends. Now, she was only the bar manager to him.
Chapter Twenty One
A male and female customer walked out of Pine Bar & Grill holding hands and strolled along the sidewalk. Mel, leaning against the wall at the end of the building, flicked the last piece of weed he'd plucked out of the crack in the cement, and kept the couple in his sight.
They left the area unaware of him watching. Most of the customers tonight had ignored him. Some he knew from around town, others were tourists, too looped and caught up on their vacation to notice a questionable biker loitering around at two o'clock in the morning.
If his count was right, the bar was now empty. He pushed off the wall and headed toward the front door. He'd arrived at the same time Raelyn flipped the closed sign over.
He pushed the door open before she could set the deadbolts. She stepped back startled at his entrance.
"It's just me." He looked over her head into the room and spotted Swiss, Rod, Grady, and LeWorth who'd taken up running security inside the bar for him so he could cover the outside. "I'm only coming inside, so I can ride out with the others."
Raelyn frowned. "Were you outside all night?"
He nodded and walked forward, knowing he couldn't be around her and not want to touch her, be with her, take her upstairs.
"Mel?" she said, stopping him.
He turned around.
"Um, Dukie came down before bed and he, uh, wanted to know if you'd come up and talk with him." Raelyn fiddled with the hearts dangling from her necklace. "I told him you weren't here, and it's too late now, but what do I tell him the next time he wants you?"
He stepped forward, his body grew tighter with each step until he could barely contain his frustration. "When and if Dukie asks for me, you call me. Day or night. I will always be here for him."
"What about me?" she asked, tilting her head higher to look in his eyes. "What if I need you?"
His jaw muscle spasmed. He wanted to promise her there would be no reason to call him, because he'd always be by her side. But, that was no longer true or possible. "Call me, and I'll have someone come over and help you with whatever you need. LeWort
h will be here every night the bar is open running security from now on."
LeWorth, who was married and safe. Unlike him, who had to stay away from Raelyn, because he was weak when around her.
"There's no going back to being friends?" She hugged her middle.
"Raelyn, you were never my friend." He inhaled swiftly and regretted it instantly when he smelled her sweetness. "You know how things go down within the club. Tomorrow, I'll be going to the clubhouse early. Once Dukie leaves for camp, you'll need to come over and speak in front of the club. Then, you don't have to worry about me."
"It's not that simple." Her brows pinched together. "Just because I can't marry a Ronacks member doesn't mean—"
"Won't."
She shook her head. "What?"
"You won't marry a biker, not can't." He stepped back, trying to escape the hurt he placed on her.
She let him go without disputing the fact.
It took everything he had to turn around and not punch a hole in the wall. He joined his MC brothers and walked out with Swiss and Gia, Rod and Heather, LeWorth and Peggy. The single man out, he headed to his motorcycle alone, aware that the woman he wanted, the woman he loved, the woman who he'd claimed was standing inside where he'd left her.
Chapter Twenty Two
Dukie squatted beside his bicycle next to the building behind the bar wiping the imaginary road dust off the frame. Raelyn stared until her eyes watered, and then blinked furiously to keep the grief from spilling out. Her son, having had no chance to learn the habits of his father, instead had watched, learned, and idolized the Ronacks members, and took an obsessive interest in how the bikers cared for their motorcycles from a young age.
His admiration and fascination were why Mel had installed a bike rack behind the building last summer and presented Dukie with a keyed lock, rag, wax, empty oil bottle, and a small wrench so Dukie could take care of his own bike like the members he loved had a habit of doing.
"Put everything in your duffle. It's time for Allison to come pick you up for camp." She walked over and held the bag open. "Your bike looks good, little man."
