by Debra Kayn
"Once I'm done with this rig, I'm going home and eating before it's my turn to ride out." Rod walked backward. "Watch your back."
Mel nodded and motioned toward the bikes. "Let's do one more ride through, and then we're done until the four o'clock shift. You'll want to make sure you get some sleep. I don't need you falling asleep on the wheels."
"I always ride with purpose, brother." Lip saluted him and started his Harley. "Besides, you're the one who should worry about having enough energy. You've got a woman in your bed. She better cut you off for tonight."
Mel chuckled, riding out first and pulled into traffic. He missed giving shit to Lip when he was gone. Out of all the Ronacks members, Lip had a sense of humor and a craving for a good time. He was slow to anger and had more patience than any of his MC brothers.
Unfortunately, Lip didn't know Mel had no woman waiting in bed for him. Raelyn wanted to talk. Nothing good came from talking. If someone had something good to say, they said it. If it was something bad, they scheduled a talk. Talking should be done like a person tore off a Band-Aid. Do it fast and get it over with. Afterward, he might be a few hairs short of what he started out with and have a scar, but the pain was gone.
A car pulled in front of him. Mel rode the yellow dotted line and turned left. Taking the back road parallel to Main Street, he checked the back of the buildings, the alleys, and every vehicle that came into sight. It wasn't easy to hide a bright blue Ford Truck with oversized tires.
Finishing the loop, he signaled for Lip, who sped up and stopped beside him at the stop sign. "That's enough. I'm going back to the bar."
"See you in the morning, brother." Lip pulled a U-turn and headed in the direction of the clubhouse, where he stayed when he was in Haugan.
Mel pulled out on the street. He had a few hours until Raelyn was free to talk without Dukie present, and that gave him enough time to hit the shower and crash. Part of him hoped she'd put off their talk again, and another part of him needed to listen to what she had to say. Maybe then, he'd be able to accept losing her because every minute ate away at his gut knowing that soon, he'd need to put space between them.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Raelyn grabbed the tub of Legos off the floor and the shoebox full of Matchbox cars. Mel sat on the arm of the couch until she put Dukie's toys away on the shelving unit in the corner of the living room. She hadn't sat down once since he walked into her apartment and instead kept herself busy to stall having their conversation.
She walked by him, and he tagged her wrist, stopping her. "Talk."
"I need a glass of water. Do you need anything to drink? Did you eat?" She lifted her free arm and pointed to the kitchen. "I could make you a burger or how about the pizza you like that I make with the English muffins and ranch dressing instead of the pizza sauce. I think I have some pepperoni and olives."
"I don't need anything to eat or drink." He looked down at her hand he held, ringless and bare. He should've given her the ring when he bought it. She could've pawned it and used the money for Dukie's school clothes and stuff.
"Sit down. I'll get you a glass of water," he said.
He walked into the kitchen and returned with her drink. She sat on the couch. He sat in front of her on the coffee table and handed her the glass, making sure she used no more excuses to get out of talking.
Raelyn took a sip and licked her upper lip. "I'm not stalling."
"Yeah, you are." He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "Are you scared of what I'll say or do?"
"Maybe," she said, lowering the glass.
"You've already told me how you feel about our marriage." The more he talked, the more his chest tightened. He had no idea how to separate himself from her when he'd always remain a part of Ronacks MC. In his heart, he understood that at least he would be a bystander in her life, in Dukie's life, but his personality refused to take comfort from that fact. He wanted all or nothing. "I understand why you can't belong to me, babe. Let's leave it at that. There's no use repeating the reasons."
She frowned. "You can willingly let me go that easily?"
"Fuck no," he whispered, the confession burned his throat. "It's worse than anything I've lived through. I'm looking at you, wanting to touch you. I know the minute you back out of our relationship, I don't even have the right to sit in your apartment. To hold you. To make sure I'm a part of Dukie's life as he grows up. To love you long and hold you forever. It kills me because I know deep down, I will live my life alone." He patted his chest. "That I will never love another. That you are the only woman for me."
"I made a mistake," whispered Raelyn.
The glass shook in her hands. He swallowed, struggling to tap down the emotions stomping his chest. What kind of mistake? Being with him? Loving him?
"That night when I told you I could never be married to a biker because the club would always come first before Dukie and me. I said that because it's my worst fear that you would die while honoring the Ronacks patch the way Duke had. When I lost him, I had no control over what happened. I couldn't face being a victim of the circumstances, again." She handed him the glass, and he set it beside him on the coffee table. "The night I unloaded why I couldn't stay married to you, I had to watch as I ripped your heart out, and the whole time I just accepted it all. I wasn't sad as if I'd lost you after telling you the truth—which I should've been. I was relieved that this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders because I had never told anyone how I felt being married to Duke, or what I've gone through since falling in love with you."
"Babe..." said Mel.
"Listen, please. I always believed if I kept my fear a secret from everyone and never spoke of how I felt about you, then you wouldn't die and leave me. And, since I’m being honest, even when I told you I could never marry you, in my head and in my heart, I continued to believe you'd still live at the bar, we'd still sleep together, and we'd still be friends. Then, you pulled away from me and reality set in. That's when I knew I'd made a mistake."
Her uncomfortable smile hurt him. "I wish like hell I could be the man who could take away your fear, babe. I am a member of Ronacks. I always will be."
She shook her head and took his hands in hers. "I know, and that makes me love you even more because doing any differently wouldn't allow me to find the strength to believe in us. That's what you gave me, Mel. I want to spend tonight with you, wake up tomorrow and fix you breakfast, and what we do afterward...well, it doesn't matter. We'll flip a coin. Together."
"Jesus Christ, babe. I'm not letting you take that back." Adrenaline hardened his body. "You get scared tomorrow, it's too late. If next week, you get pissed at me, you're going to learn how to get over it."
She nodded. "I swear, I can do this. You know why?"
"Why?"
She scooted to the edge of the cushion on the couch and framed his face with her hands. "I love you. My son loves you."
"We're staying married?"
She smiled softly and whispered, "We're staying married. On one condition."
"If it doesn't have the word Ronacks in it, just name it."
She stroked his face. "I'd like to get a license and go down to the courthouse and be married for real, not just claiming me in front of the club. I need us to be legal for Dukie. He deserves to know his mom and his Uncle Mel are legally married."
"I'll get the license in the morning." He paused. "Now, if you're done. It's been a long fucking time since I've touched you. I'm taking you to the bedroom."
She came to her feet at the gentlest tug from his hands, and she let go to smooth her short jean skirt over her ass. "As soon as I check my phone."
"What for?" He turned, watching her grab her cell off the shelf beside the front door.
"Damnit," she muttered, putting the phone back. "It's Carl. He went out, promising to check in every hour, you know since he got beat up, and he stopped texting at eight o'clock."
"He's probably fine and with a group of kids his age partying." He pulled out
his phone and texted Rod to do a ride around looking for Raelyn's brother.
"I'm not sure that makes me worry less." She returned to him. "Though, I know what will make me feel better."
"Yeah?" He put his phone in his pocket.
"You."
He picked her up and carried her straight to the bedroom where she'd left the lamp on beside the bed. She shut and locked the door for him. He'd never carried her to bed with the knowledge that he'd be spending the rest of his life going to sleep with her, sharing her warmth, waking up every single day with Raelyn wrapped around his body. The rush from knowing this part of the night would become a normal routine from now on felt good.
He turned at the bed and fell back on the mattress, taking her weight on top of him. Palming her hips, he grinned up at her. "Belonging to me looks good on you, babe."
She planted her hands on his chest, and his cock reacted. He slid his hands underneath her skirt, and she removed her top. Enthralled, he moistened his lips at the sight of her breasts swinging free.
He gazed down her body to where her purple panties covered her pussy. That little piece of scrap material was like waving a flag in front of his face.
Raelyn leaned over him, rubbing against his hardness through his Levi's. "I feel more than wonderful. I've faced my fears and can't wait to tell the world about how much I love you." She paused, taking a breath and meeting his eyes. "Do you know how much I love you?"
"Show me," he said.
She moistened her lips and gazed down at his chest. He watched transfixed as she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt, then stood on the bed, straddling him. He grasped her ankles to keep her from falling as she wiggled the material down her legs, taking her panties, too. Letting go of one of her feet, he pulled the material off her, then repeated with the other leg.
"Thank you, Mel," she whispered, and the sexy hum of her voice rolled over him.
He peered up her long legs and was gifted by the hottest view ever. "Anytime, babe."
Raelyn laughed at the good mood they both found themselves in. He undid his belt, zipper, and pushed his jeans down to his thighs before she sat down on his thighs. He cupped the weight of her breasts, filling his hands.
"No, no, no..." She pushed his hands away. "Take off your vest and shirt."
He lifted his upper body off the mattress, shucked out of his vest, then reached behind his neck and pulled his T-shirt off. Raelyn pushed him back down flat on the bed. He hooked her neck, bringing her down to his chest.
"We've got a problem," he said, kissing her lips. "I came over planning to have my ass handed to me and never put a condom in my wallet."
She stretched out her arm, grabbed the pillow to the side of him and brought her hand back and held protection in front of him. "Lucky for us, I've had these condoms stockpiled under my pillow for the last week, planning for when I could finally tell you I wanted to stay married to you."
"Good girl," he muttered, taking one foil package and opening it.
Once he was covered, he rolled her onto her back and settled his weight between her legs. Her soft legs wrapped around him and he inhaled swiftly. He'd found his place in life. Nothing and nobody could make him leave.
Her breath, already fast, heated his neck. His toes curled into the blanket on the bed. She was sexy. Soft in places to cushion him, and valleys in places he wanted to get lost in.
His hips thrust forward, and he pressed his cock against her sex. Her ass came off the mattress, and he plunged inside of her, holding still.
She spread her hands across his chest, tracing his pecs, and stopped over the tat above his heart. "I've asked you before what your tattoo means, and you've never answered me."
He looked down. 3/9/14.
"It's a date," he said, moving his hips side to side.
"That's what you always say." She lifted her head and put her lips to his skin, licking the tattooed spot with her tongue. "Can you tell me what the date means?"
"Later." He kissed her, needing more.
Stroking her with his tongue, he stroked her with his cock. Two similar sensations that gave him rhythm and a response out of her that fed his ego. She raised up when he went down, pushing her breasts against him. Rubbing. Caressing, squeezing.
She took every inch of his length, arching, holding, touching him everywhere, grabbing for traction, and meeting him halfway. Determined and led to finish, he hooked her knee with his hand and positioned her ass higher, holding her hips off the bed. The position allowed him to plunge deeper.
She panted, groaning as he tapped her G-spot with the head of his cock. He pulled his mouth away and stared down at their bodies linked together.
"Beautiful," he said, which came out more like a grunt of approval.
He could finally take care of her the way he'd always wanted to. She'd lean on him and let him be her strength. She'd share her life with him, and he'd experience everything by her side. Even during the down times, he'd hold her, see her, and count himself lucky to be with her.
That's all he'd ever wanted.
She grabbed onto the bedspread, and when he placed his finger over her clit, she moaned and brought her legs up to his shoulders. He moved his hips, never taking his gaze off her. His balls constricted and he warmed. She was close. So, fucking close.
Leaning forward, he braced his hands on the mattress beside her head.
The power of his strokes increased with his desperate need for release. She gasped, clawing his shoulders. He loosened her clutch on him without missing a move and linked their hands together.
"Keep going," he ordered.
She nodded, her gaze unfocused.
He drove faster and deeper, and her muscles clenched and spasmed around him. Pleasure pulsed in his head, deafening him to the sounds they made.
"Right now," he said. "Give it to me, babe. You're mine."
Flailing her head, she moaned and handed him her pleasure. He buried his face in her neck, sank deep inside of her, and lost control. His groan mixed with her shudder. His night stood still.
Raelyn slipped her hands out of his and wound her arms around his neck. He sucked in air, catching his breath, as he lay skin to skin, and enjoyed the comfort of her racing heart against his chest.
Against her ear, he said, "The tat. It's the date I fell in love with you."
Her hands stilled on his body, and she whispered, "Three years ago?"
"Yeah," he whispered back.
She held him tighter. "I wish I'd known."
"Doesn't matter. It's our time now." He rolled to his side, taking her with him, and tucked her head against his chest. Her tears wet his chest. He palmed her head. The wait was worth every painful minute.
Chapter Thirty
The front of Raelyn's thighs burned from the exertion of carrying boxes up the stairs at the bar. She handed off the empty boxes to Dukie, who kicked them all down the hallway and into the apartment. She collapsed on the top step of the stairs. It was her millionth trip up to the second level within the last twenty minutes. While she was being premature about preparing to move, she wanted to keep the empty boxes and not have the garbage service pick them up on Friday.
Her mom walked out of her apartment. "You look exhausted. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just out of shape." Raelyn wiped her hand across her forehead pushing back her hair. "It's also going to be a scorcher today. It's almost noon and already close to eighty degrees."
Her mom sat on the top step with her. "How many more boxes are you planning on bringing up?"
"That was the last two." She massaged her bare thighs. "If we need more when the time comes, I can see if the store has any left after they stock shelves. Dukie has enough toys to fill a U-haul already. It's going to take a ton of boxes to move everything."
"You're taking the news of losing your job and having to move in stride." Her mom clicked her tongue. "Does this have anything to do with Mel coming with you to tell me about having to move and then asking me to
watch Dukie while you ran an errand? You're being secretive."
"Maybe." She glanced at her mom. They'd decided to break the news this morning because Carl hadn't come back to the bar yet. Though the bar closing and having to move wasn't good news, it had taken her mom's mind off of Carl and given her something else to think about. Between her and Mel, they could afford to give her mom first and last month rent deposit to help her find a place.
Unable to hold in her happiness, she laughed freely, leaning into her mom. She'd made Mel promise not to tell her family their plans until he talked to Battery and everything was set in concrete.
"Honey, I love seeing you smiling with Mel." Her mom hugged her. "The only thing I've ever wanted was to see you genuinely happy. He's a good man, and Dukie loves him."
"I know." She rolled to her hip and removed her phone. "Carl still hasn't texted me. Has he contacted you?"
"No, and he knows better than to not call. But, he's eighteen. He could've fallen asleep at someone's house." Her mom sighed. "He sleeps like a log, even though he's eighteen."
Legal adult or not, Carl had a family that worried about him. She put her phone back in her pocket. "How is Grandma June handling the news of having to move?"
"She's fine." Her mom sighed. "Somehow, she's got it in her head that we're staying in Haugan, but I don't know. I've saved every penny I made at the bar, but I only sang for two weeks. I looked at the classified ads before I walked out to find you. It doesn't look promising. There are only a few houses available, and the rent is out of our league. We might need to go closer to Missoula. Rent is cheaper there."
Raelyn reached over and held her mom's hand. "There's no use worrying about it yet. You can always stay with us until you find a job and earn enough money to afford a house for the three of you. Even if it means crashing on the floor with a sleeping bag. We'll get through this together."
"I don't know what I'd do without you, honey." Her mom blew out her breath and patted Raelyn's hand before standing up. "No use wasting brain cells overthinking what might not happen."
