“My townhouse,” Jack said. “I’ll fix dinner. That way you catch me up on what went down today and why you gave me the slip.”
“Okay,” she said in a tentative voice, gauging his mood and still finding it far from subdued.
“You really went too far this time, Lucy.” He stopped and turned so abruptly she almost lost her balance. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” she murmured when it seemed as if he expected a reply. “I see that now.”
Her answer didn’t appease him as he shook his head and started walking again, tugging her behind. Lucy took in Jack’s hard expression while marching her toward his BMW like a prisoner being led to her death. The angles of his face were set in granite.
Jack chose that moment to glance her way. She sucked in a huge breath and resisted the urge to recoil in fear. If looks could kill, she’d have been dead seconds ago. The heat emanating from that volcanic glare could boil water. For once, Lucy was glad of his self-control. Yet in a strange way it was also kind of exhilarating to watch him struggle, knowing she was the cause of that consternation.
In a heartbeat, it occurred to her that maybe all those years ago, she’d done what she’d done on purpose. To provoke a reaction from him. To try to heat up his cool façade in order to mess up his perfect life. Back then, Lucy was the screwup Jack couldn’t save and it pissed him off royally, but he was too well-bred to show it. He obviously thought she needed saving now, despite the fact that she was a survivor and knew how to take care of herself.
Imagine the game continuing after all this time?
At that thought, she did laugh, and once she started, she didn’t seem to be able to stop. It was just too damn funny. Cassie was missing and Jack was being Jack and Lucy had nobody.
Jack halted his forward momentum and looked at her like she’d gone crazy. Well, maybe she had.
~~~
Dumbfounded, Jack stared at Lucy laughing her ass off. Did she think this was all just a goddamned amusement park ride?
“You find this funny?” he asked, dropping her hand and struggling to keep from plowing a fist into his car. He knew from experience he’d only have a sore hand along with a dented car door to show for his efforts, and no relief from the frustration or the anger. Both had been simmering for the last hour—from the moment he’d left Frank’s house and driven straight to Lucy’s.
Earlier, Jack had rung the bell at least twenty times, then had rung twenty more just to make sure no one was home. He remembered damning Lucy at that point, wondering where in the hell she’d gone after ditching him, which is exactly what she’d done. Then seeing her drive up with Gillespie in a company van did nothing to bank his emotions. He was furious. At her. For daring to steal a kid’s cell phone. At himself, for caring, and at Gillespie because…well, because punching him would have made a great outlet for his pent-up anger. Skin and muscle were a lot softer than steel doors and wouldn’t hurt nearly as much. Besides, the guy deserved a good beating for his earlier accusations. Considering Lucy’s uncontrollable laughter, Jack really should have taken advantage of the opportunity. He would feel a hell of a lot better.
“Are you doing all of this to annoy me? Is that it?” Damn! Her attitude was so reminiscent of Ginny’s. Ginny used to get off on anything thrilling and he’d always have to pull her back because she’d never known when to stop. She’d found his concern amusing, which forced him to question his decision to marry her, but in the end her rush to seek action had killed her and worse, made him feel guilty enough to not want to live either. Not after he’d recognized the connection of her going overboard only because he’d tried to rein her in.
Talk about your sick relationships.
“Yeah.” Lucy’s laughter suddenly died. Her snort drew his attention, and her “bite me” attitude was back in place, both becoming a bright red flag to his bull’s anger. “Just like I used to sleep in the gutter.” With hands on her hips, she rolled her eyes and sent him a heated look that could incinerate bones. “Because it was real amusing.”
The years with Ginny faded and Jack was sucked further into the past, back to those times he’d had to deal with Lucy and her refusal to work within the system. He counted to ten in order to subdue a strong urge to shake some sense into her. “You didn’t have to sleep in gutters.” He hadn’t liked the feeling then, knowing she was so close yet out of reach, and he damn sure didn’t like the feeling now. Like he was getting in too deep and somehow he had to stop the free fall.
Lucy’s spine stretched straighter and her eyes narrowed to slits. “You honest to God believe that, don’t you?”
“You’re damn right I believe it,” he ground out, clenching his fist. He inhaled a deep breath, in effort to control another sudden burst of temper. For some reason, she always seemed to push his buttons. Both then and now. The fact that she reminded him of Ginny at this moment only compounded the effect. God help him, he didn’t want to believe there was a connection, that maybe he’d picked Ginny out of some misguided need to save her from herself because he’d never been able to save Lucy from herself.
That thought stopped Jack dead in his tracks. Yet he discarded it, refusing to go there. Once he could speak with some measure of lucidity, he said, “Lucy, it was your choice. You ran away.”
“Some choice.” The two words came out in another derisive snort, but tears filled Lucy’s eyes, sucking all the bite out of her attitude. “But how would you know? You were so busy patting yourself on the back for your noble efforts, you had no idea what I ran away from.”
Lucy’s tears did what her laughter and ballsy attitude couldn’t. They sucked him in deeper. Jack could no more stop from comforting her than he could stop breathing. He reached out to wrap his arms tightly around her and pulled her close.
“Shush,” he murmured, kissing the sides of her face and tasting tears. He leaned back and cupped her face, brushing the liquid droplets away with the pads of his thumbs as they caressed her soft cheeks. Lucy had the softest skin, yet a steely hardness protected her heart. To block out pain, he now knew from experience, as he’d put up similar barriers for the exact same reason. Protection. Jack was driven to ask about her reasons for running back then, but he doubted she’d give him a straight answer, so instead he worked to comfort her. “It’s okay, Lucy.”
Her wide eyes glistened, making it near impossible for him to escape their emotional pull. He’d never been able to penetrate her core and he realized with startling clarity that he’d wanted to. More than anything, he’d fought to make a difference in her life. But all he’d done was push her away. As much as Jack wished to discard that thought too, he couldn’t. He recognized it for what it was. The unvarnished truth.
“We’ll work it out.” His whispered words added to the intimacy of the moment as their stares continued to meet, tugging him in deeper.
Jack brushed a stray hair out of Lucy’s face, then lowered his head and kissed her. Not the kiss of the night before born of a desire to protect her, or the teasing one earlier that morning, but a soul-searing kiss that said more with the touch of his mouth to hers than what he could ever verbalize in a million years. Lucy seemed to understand because she answered with the same intensity, using her mouth to draw him in further into the endless chasm.
In those seconds, when lips touched lips, when tongues melded with tongues and hands roamed freely, he felt some of that steel surrounding her heart soften, as well as the locks on his own heart break open as his emotions swelled.
For the first time in over a year, he willingly let go of some of the pain he’d held with an iron fist and it felt wonderful and natural. Almost freeing. Jack never wanted the feeling to end, but a car drove by and honked, awakening him from his stupor as the reality of where they stood registered.
Now back under full control, Jack lifted his head to look past his BMW. Perched on her porch with her arms crossed, Mrs. Thomson watched them.
He fought the urge to roll his eyes and nodded in her directio
n. “That woman needs to get a life.” It was a stupid comment, but hell, his brain had quit functioning and he couldn’t think of anything more appropriate, so it fit.
“Don’t mind her.” Lucy cleared her throat and swept a handful of hair behind her ear. “She’s a little weird,” she said, as red stained her cheeks. “Word on the block is that she reads her electric meter daily.” She then scrambled inside the car the second he opened the passenger door, as if doing so would solve her embarrassment.
Jack ran around to the driver’s side and once seated, shoved the key into the ignition. His anger had long dissipated, placing him back on an even keel. Sort of. That kiss had thrown him off kilter in a different direction. He really shouldn’t get involved further, but somehow he doubted he’d be able to resist the path they seemed headed toward.
“Oh, wait. I forgot something and I should check on Sadie.” Lucy was out of the car so quickly, the apology on the tip of Jack’s tongue stuck in his throat as he watched her slam the door, run up the sidewalk, and slip inside her house. Less than five minutes had elapsed when she reappeared. Not nearly enough time for him to figure out how to stop an emotional train wreck.
After turning to relock her door, Lucy hurried toward his car, clutching the date book Reecie’s mom had given them.
“I thought I’d go through this on the way to save time,” she said, once back inside his BMW.
“Good thinking,” Jack replied, for lack of anything better to say. He was still reeling from that kiss, wondering what, if anything, he should do about it.
He moved to start the car, but let go of the key and pulled a hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his neck. Focusing out the front windshield, he rubbed. “Look, Lucy,” he finally said, sighing. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for—his anger or the kiss.
“It’s okay, Jack.” She placed a hand on his thigh. The innocent gesture sent hot blood burning a path straight to his groin, which stirred uncomfortably. What he wouldn’t give to have that hand doing more than just giving a comforting squeeze of his leg.
Jack shook the thought and smiled. He had to tame the “me Tarzan, you Jane” mentality or he’d slide to nowhere. Fast. Even with her past, he knew firsthand Lucy wasn’t the type to sleep around. He didn’t sleep around either. Not since college had he had sex without being in some sort of committed relationship.
In an attempt to restore some kind of balance between them and tired of fighting the inevitable, Jack forced out a laugh, going for laid-back. “What’s okay?” But inside, his body was primed and ready to pounce as he added, “That my desire to kill you has morphed into wanting to make love with you?” Lucy had to know where they were headed. She’d been as engrossed in their kisses as he’d been. Maybe even more so.
“Is that what the kiss was about?” Her steady gaze locked on to his. “Making love, not war?”
Lucy’s comment was too hard to ignore; so was the blatant desire peering out of those coffee-colored eyes. Neither provided the satisfaction Jack craved. His goading clearly hadn’t rattled her, which for some reason annoyed him all the more.
“We both know I’d be lying to say I don’t want to get physical with you.” That Lucy-goosey threw them out didn’t seem to matter anymore. Nor could Jack muster the strength to care that he might not be ready for intimacy or be destroyed by it once the sensual air cleared. Not when his libido had a mind of its own as she continued staring into his eyes.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve been fighting lust since we locked lips last night.” And unwilling to be the only one in the car feeling the searing heat, he reached one hand around her nape and brought her closer. Then he kissed her. Took his time, his mouth and tongue imparting yet another message. This kiss had more to do with desire than the one they’d just shared. Heat engulfed Jack as he continued the kiss. Heaven help him, he didn’t want to stop. Lucy tasted so goddamned sweet. In a matter of seconds, his need for her had mushroomed.
When he broke the connection and leaned back to view her reaction, Lucy’s eyes grew wider and she stared at him, speechless.
He chuckled. “Amazing, isn’t it? Hell, no one’s more astonished than me.” He lifted her chin with his thumb to keep her gaze on him. “But if we do this, I can’t offer long term,” he said, letting the honesty show in his eyes. Jack had to make her understand. He could no longer handle long term. Relationships now scared him shitless. One with Lucy would be like trying to contain an unstable entity. Nitroglycerin came to mind. One wrong move, and the well-ordered life Jack had created since Ginny could blow to smithereens, and he’d be left picking up the pieces. If any pieces still existed, that is, since Ginny had done a pretty good job of it the first time around.
Still, Jack wanted Lucy and he let that show in his eyes too.
Pink highlighted her cheekbones, but Lucy didn’t try to shift her focus. Jack didn’t think this desire could get any stronger. He was wrong. Even more so as her deep amber gaze studied him and her tongue swept her bottom lip.
Lucy seemed to be sizing him up and weighing his admission. “Then why go there?” she finally asked. “I don’t get it.”
“How in the hell can you not get it?” Jack asked, incensed. “Can’t you feel it?”
“Yes, but there has to be another reason.”
“There does?” Where in the hell was she going with her comments?
“Yes.”
His fingers, still wrapped around her tantalizing neck, drew her closer. “Maybe I’ve always found you attractive in a cerebral kind of way,” Jack whispered before his lips touched hers.
Lucy broke the kiss and pulled away, her stare still assessing him as if he were a Rubik’s cube. “Be honest, if nothing else.”
Her words set him back a bit and he stared at her open-jawed. “Now I’m the one who doesn’t get it.”
“You’re not attracted to me.”
“I’m not?” The simple statement said with conviction had him more than confused.
Lucy shook her head, her forlorn expression adding to her denial.
Jack bit his tongue to keep from laughing outright because she seemed so serious and this situation had skyrocketed way beyond serious the moment he’d kissed her that second time. “News flash, sweetheart.” His nod indicated the bulge in his pants. “This woody says otherwise. And just so you’ll know, I haven’t sported one of these for a woman in a long while.”
“Yeah, well that’s just lust.” Lucy blew her bangs in frustration and said with much patience, like he was the biggest idiot on the planet, “It’s expected. I mean, you are a guy.”
This time Jack couldn’t contain his laugh. “You got that one right. I am a guy. A guy on the make for one sexy, dark-eyed, dark-haired woman who’s got me all tied up in knots,” he said honestly. “And this guy wants…no, needs…sex.”
“But your interest isn’t just sexual. Is it?”
“It’s not?” Could have fooled him.
Leaning out of his reach, Lucy mutely shook her head while flipping her hair off her shoulders. The action drew his attention to her hair.
Sunlight glinting through the window highlighted those rich brown tresses. Only brown didn’t seem an appropriate description of a color that revealed a full spectrum of shades, from cinnamon to red to dark roast coffee and everything in between. He squelched the urge to run his fingers through that lustrous mane to see if it was as soft as it appeared.
“What would you call it then?” Jack asked, addressing her statement and refocusing on her solemn expression.
“Pity,” Lucy shot back. “Like maybe you think you can save me, you know. Like in the past. But I refuse to be your pet project. Newsflash, Jack. I’m no one’s pet. I belong to myself. Always have and that’s not about to change.”
Talk about your mood killer. “So we’re back to the past, are we?” The tightness in his jeans eased substantially.
“We never left it. It’s there between us. And that,”
she said, indicating his no longer fully erect penis, “won’t get satisfied until we come to terms with your misconceptions.”
Jack wondered at her reference to the past. “Tell me why you think the two are connected?”
Lucy rolled her eyes. “What do you mean why? I should think it’s enough that I recognize it for what it is.”
Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Now who’s evading?”
She shrugged, at the same time averted her gaze and fixed her attention on a point outside her window, a sure sign of discomfort. And maybe even deception. “I don’t think sex between us is a good idea,” she said, not answering his question about evasion. “It’ll only complicate our task at hand.”
She was probably right, Jack thought, watching her reach for Reecie’s book and start flipping through it, her actions saying louder than words ever could that the subject was closed.
Unfortunately, Jack couldn’t shut his brain off to what had just happened so easily. Nor could he ignore what happened in the moments leading up to and right after both kisses. Their relationship had definitely altered. Drastically. Hell, the idea didn’t exactly please him. His best course, considering this change, was simple. Abort any and all ideas of sex with her. Except something inside him wouldn’t let it go. Jack would be damned if he would let Lucy get away with not acknowledging that change as she seemed to be doing.
He turned the ignition, jammed the stick into gear and drove, deciding to abide by her unspoken edict. For now.
“What happened in Justine’s dressing room?” he finally asked, halfway between his home and Lucy’s, more to break the cloying silence than anything else. “You never said. Why’d you change your mind about questioning them?”
Lucy looked up from her reading. None of her earlier awareness shone in those dark eyes. “At first it seemed like they were just rich bullies talking about some girl named Lindsay.” She then spent the next five miles filling him in on the rest of what the two in the dressing room had discussed, ending with, “Then they started mentioning work and making money. ‘Close to a thou’ is a direct quote.”
Killer Romances Page 81
