She licked her lips and swallowed hard as more sincerity spilled out of his gaze. Lucy didn’t want to face the truth, but it was staring her square in the eye, making her crave what she knew didn’t exist. Not for people like her, not with people like him. Yet in that instant, the craving to have him love her forever filled her soul. She closed her eyes to break the mental contact, wishing she wasn’t so vulnerable to him right now.
“Well?” Jack hesitated a moment, then asked, “What was so bad about being placed in a foster home?”
The steely resolve in his voice told her he wasn’t going to drop it until she gave him an explanation. “It’s not a pretty picture,” she warned, offering a quick laugh that ended in another woeful smile as the horrible memory of the foster home run by the Murphys filled her thoughts. Pete Murphy had been a member of Oakmont’s GOB network, and he and Cardello were tight. As a result, Cardello always sided with his friend when the kids placed in Murphy’s care complained about mistreatment. Lucy had been no exception. “No one listened when I tried to tell them how bad it was, and talking about it now won’t change things.”
“I’m sorry for that, but I’m listening now.” A full minute ticked by. “Come on, Lucy,” he prodded. “What was so bad about the situation that made you run?”
Jack’s sincere apology did seem to ease some of her pain. Maybe it was time to divulge the ugly truth about the good old boys he was in bed with.
“Pete Murphy,” Lucy finally admitted. “The man was bottom-feeding scum who used the kids sent to him in the worst way. All while his wife sat silently by, hiding behind a church-going façade and letting him get away with doing horrible things to innocent children.” No different than the card-carrying members of the GOB network, who’d stood by and had done nothing to stop him, hadn’t even suspected him because all the warnings and accusations came from have-nots.
Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”
Nodding, Lucy warily watched his face, expecting skepticism. When there was none, only a quick nod and a “Go on,” she did.
“The boys sent to him for protection did his dirty work, like stealing and drug dealing. The girls he just…” Her voice cracked, and she paused to collect herself. “The girls he raped.” Now that the worst was out, she couldn’t seem to stem the flow of words. “Hell, no one questioned him, even with so many signs of abuse. Just left him alone to continue his crimes until two years ago when one of his protégés put a bullet in his back for raping his kid sister.” She stopped talking to take a deep breath, reliving her helplessness all over again. “Murphy finally got what he deserved,” Lucy spit out, knowing Jack had been in Louisville when the kid had retaliated, and he probably hadn’t heard the specifics of what happened. At the time, it was all brushed under the table.
“The poor kid did the county a favor,” she continued, “and for that he’s serving a life sentence. But at least he’s alive. His sister, Jade, wasn’t so lucky. She eventually died of a drug overdose, ending a habit that had started long before she entered the system.” The two had definitely been voiceless have-nots no one had cared about, just like her. She met Jack’s gaze squarely. “The system should’ve helped Jade overcome her addiction, not exacerbate the problem by placing her with a caregiver who raped her, forcing her brother to kill to defend her.” Her fist curled at her side. “Tell me, Jack. Who is really at fault for ruining their lives?”
When he remained silent for too long without responding, Lucy continued. “I didn’t wait around to be abused like the others. Girls just like Jade. Once that bastard cornered me, I clawed my way out and ran.” Despite being only fifteen years old, instinct had given her a different outcome than Jade’s. Whereas Jade’s life on the streets had escalated out of control, Lucy’s hadn’t. She’d been smart and damned lucky. “Back then, I considered the Jades of the world as guides of sort, pointing out what not to do. And that included ratting Murphy out, which only earned severe beatings for those who’d tried, along with more rape.”
“Shit.” Jack hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. “I had no idea,” he murmured, running his hand up and down her arm. “You should’ve told me. I’m so sorry.”
Lucy gripped his hand and squeezed, unable to ignore the genuine regret in his voice. The words acted as a balm, soothing more hurt. “I survived.” Another sad smile worked its way out. “I did try to tell you,” she admitted. “Once. You may not remember, but I do. You shut me up before I could get a word out, saying you didn’t have time to deal with me and my lies and you told me to behave myself and not make things worse.”
Lucy could handle everyone else shoving her aside like her word meant nothing, but not Jack. “I trusted you. You were the main reason I decided to speak up in the first place after being caught and brought back to justice.” She threw out a laugh, but there was nothing humorous in the brittle sound. Tears clouded her eyes. She blinked them back. “Some justice. I was put in juvie, like I was a criminal or something. Your actions devastated me, Jack.”
Her shaky voice revealed every bit of emotion roiling inside her. Lucy left out the part about how after she’d done the unpardonable and ratted Murphy out, she couldn’t return there and risk that monster’s brand of punishment. “I wanted you to save me,” she said softly as a tear escaped. She wiped it away before he noticed. Oh Lord, how she’d prayed for him to save her. Another tear followed, then another. Too many for him not to notice, so she gave up wiping them away and sniffed before adding, “You always played by the rules and I knew you weren’t out to hurt me. But in the end, you did.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy,” he said on a sigh. He closed his eyes and his hand moved to his nose. Rubbing the bridge of it with thumb and finger, he exhaled another sigh. “I never imagined it could be so bad.”
Of course he hadn’t. Jack was one of the haves. No one could possibly understand the brutal reality of being a have-not unless they lived it. Lucy had long thought she’d overcome the envy, the hurt, the inability to strike back, but laying there in Jack’s arms, listening to his apology that came a decade too late, she wanted to scream about the unfairness of it all. But she didn’t. Instead she continued staring at his hand, thinking it was in the past and would stay there.
She’d already spent too many days regretting circumstances she’d had no control over. She damn sure wouldn’t repeat past mistakes, her biggest one being depending on Jack to ride in on his white horse and take away the pain caused by those she’d counted on her entire life. Her mother, who left her to an alcoholic father, who left her to her grandmother, who’d died and left her to fend for herself within a disappointing system that sent her to the asshole assigned to protect her. They’d all let her down. Jack most of all, by siding with the haves and dismissing her as a troublemaker. He’d obviously viewed her as someone beneath him, not an equal. No differently than those in charge had viewed Jade and her brother.
Heck, even Murphy’s death hadn’t swayed the GOB network. The investigation into his death had been one big joke and hadn’t changed a damned thing between the haves and the have-nots, other than to cover up a guilty man’s crimes and clear his name posthumously. And despite making love with Jack, she needed to remember nothing had changed between them either. They were still at opposite ends of the spectrum and always would be.
Lucy eyed him, knowing with total certainty that loving him or expecting him to return her love would be even more foolish and would only bring on more disappointment. Her gaze then zeroed in on his fingers still resting on his face and she smiled, remembering their lovemaking the night before. Nestled in his arms now, she felt protected and loved and she meant to savor the feeling for as long as she could. “Let’s not talk about the past anymore. Let’s just enjoy the present.”
She reached for his hand and brought it to her lips. Kissing those exquisite fingers, Lucy dismissed any and all ideas of him as her white knight. “Tomorrow will come soon enough,” she whispered, leaning over and grazing his lips with hers. Then sh
e’d have to deal with it all, but not tonight. Tonight she could still pretend.
~~~
Jack lay awake for close to an hour with Lucy nestled in the crook of his arm. Just enough moonlight spilled in from the slats covering the windows for him to see her face relaxed in slumber. She had nondescript features, but there was a fragility he noted that tugged on his protective instincts. His thoughts drifted back to her earlier admission about why she’d run away all those years ago and his grip around her tightened.
He’d had no idea of what she’d endured. How goddamned naïve of him to let Frank mold his thinking back then. He should have suspected there was more to her anger and lashing out, especially after his time as an assistant DA, where he’d learned the hard way how screwed up the system could get. Even when intentions were good, somehow they always got messed up.
His thoughts shifted to Frank’s behavior this past week. Was there more to that too?
Jack eased his arm out from Lucy’s back and punched the pillow. Tomorrow he and Frank were due for another talk. He’d know whether or not he could still work with the man just by listening to the answers to the questions he’d ask.
Then he planned to confront Olivia and her niece.
Chapter 20
With much on her mind, Lucy woke up early and stared into space, listening to Jack’s even breathing. Gently, she lifted up on her elbows to glance at the sleeping form next to her. He appeared so restful. She smiled, stilling an urge to run her fingers through that blond hair.
Lucy didn’t dare touch him because he might wake up. If that happened, they might make love. If she made love with him now, she might not be able to leave. And she had to leave. Now, while she still could. She had no choice.
She had to get on with her plans, starting with confronting Gerald Duncan. Intuition told her that her boss was somehow involved with Cardello in Cassie’s disappearance. The two most likely were covering up something to do with the teens on the thumb drive.
Yet knowing Jack, if she mentioned anything to him, he’d squash her plans faster than a shoe squashed a bug. She eased out of bed and tiptoed from the room, refusing to dwell on the idea that by sneaking out in such a way, she was running away again. Some things never changed, she thought, grabbing her cell phone and punching up Mike’s number.
Minutes later, with bag in hand and Sadie under her arm, Lucy headed toward Mike’s car, parked half a block away. Thank goodness he’d answered her distress call and had come to her aid. Plus, he’d mentioned gathering some interesting information concerning the motel sleazoid and had agreed with her assessment about why Duncan had shown up at the motel yesterday.
She opened the car door and once inside, heaved a sigh of relief and regret. Relief that she’d escaped so easily. Regret that she couldn’t count on Jack’s help. Not totally, because she didn’t trust him.
“So, what’d you find out about our guy Manny?” She situated her overnight bag on the floor along with Reecie’s date book, settled Sadie on her lap, then reached for her seat belt and fastened it.
“He’s a sleazoid, all right.” Mike drove, droning on about how much information his friend at the precinct had provided.
Lucy looked back and noted a light flickering in Jack’s front window. Great. He was now up and had to know she’d run out on him. She ignored the niggling guilt for stealing away like a thief in the night, or early morning in this instance, without a word. Besides, it was better this way. End things before they got complicated.
“Can you drop me off at home and I’ll meet you at the office after I’ve showered?” she asked once they’d gone a few blocks.
“Sure. No problem.” He reached for a file resting between the seats, directing her attention back to Manny Graves. “Anyway, he’s one mean dude.” Mike handed it to her. “He’s definitely involved with prostitution. His most current bust was for soliciting sex for hire over the Internet, which got dismissed for violation of his rights or some other stupid reason. Got a couple of priors for pimping and beating his pros.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t put it past him to be involved with drugs too.”
As she opened the file, he asked, “So, is that the girl’s date book you were talking about? What was her name?”
“Reecie Holloway.” Nodding, Lucy flipped through the pages, noting a long list of arrests. “Her mother gave it to us, but I haven’t had a chance to finish going through it,” she said distractedly. “I’ve been too busy.”
“If you want, I can skim it and see what I think. A fresh pair of eyes might help, don’t you think?”
“Maybe later,” she murmured, continuing to read the file. Her sleazoid assessment had been right on, as was Mike’s. On paper he really was one mean dude.
“So, what’re your plans?”
Mike’s voice interrupted the silence, pulling her attention from the file. Lucy glanced at him and shrugged at the concern etched into his expression. “Confront Gerald and go off his reaction.” A lot could be learned from tipping your hand a card or two as a bluff. Cassie wasn’t the only person to use surprise as a weapon. Hopefully he’d speak before thinking to make it worth the risk.
Mike considered her words, then sighed. “Are you sure confrontation is the best way to go?”
Lucy nodded. Jeez, he sounded too much like Jack. Did everyone think her inept? No one had called her Lucy-goosey in a long while, but she was still sensitive about what others thought. She peered at him to gauge his expression. When his puppy-dog stare that worked so well to put suspects at ease was in place, she fought to hold on to her patience. “It’s the only way. Don’t you see?” She ignored his concern as irritation stiffened her spine.
Squelching her annoyance, she reminded herself that his expression was also the same reason she never minded having him as a partner. People just automatically assumed he was harmless and trusted him enough to spill their guts. On the job he was anything but harmless, and glancing at the file in her hand, she had to admit, the guy definitely had his uses. Especially with his contacts on the force.
“If he’s in bed with Cardello and Cardello is mixed up with Manny, then the only way to stop him is to let him know we’re on to him. Then they’ll have no reason to continue holding Cassie.”
“What about his warning?” Mike asked. “Maybe you should wait until after we question Manny. If there is a connection, I’ll get the information out of him.”
True, but that would take too much time, time Cassie may not have. And if her hunch about her boss’ involvement proved true, there was the chance that Manny might warn him. Then she might never find out what happened to Cassie. At this point, whatever it was, it wasn’t good. “Don’t worry.” Smiling, she patted his arm. “I know what I’m doing.” She’d handled her fair share of suspects, enough to think she could handle Gerald just as effectively.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you when you talk to him?”
“No. No sense in dragging you into my war and risking your job too.” After all, Gerald might be innocent, except Lucy couldn’t see how, given all the evidence pointing to him and her intuition. The two had helped her solve too many cases not to rely on both now. “Like I said, I know what I’m doing.”
He shrugged. “It’s your call.” He then turned his attention to the road.
Thankfully, neither spoke for the rest of the drive.
In a matter of minutes, he’d pulled to a stop in front of her house.
“Thanks for dropping me off.” She reached to open the door.
“You want me to go in and make sure everything’s okay?”
The concern in Mike’s voice had Lucy turning back to him. “I’ll be fine.” She frowned, remembering their earlier telephone conversation. As much as it had pained her, she’d had to explain why he was picking her up at Jack’s place—not a fun experience. Remembering his jealous ranting and verbal jabs against Jack made her want to get away as fast as possible right now. Which pretty much summed up their working relation
ship. Despite being a good investigator, he was usually a total pain in the butt, and at the exact moment she thought him normal enough to let down her guard, he’d do something to prove her wrong. “Whoever broke in has already done their worst. I doubt they’ve returned.”
“What about the date book? I mentioned it to my friend on the force and he’s willing to help.”
“Here.” She handed it to him. “Maybe one of you can make heads or tails of the initials enough to add to our case against Gerald.” Then just before jumping out of the car, she leaned over and tendered a kiss on the side of his cheek. Not because she really wanted to, but because it camouflaged her negative feelings, along with her desire to escape. “Thanks. I appreciate your help.”
~~~
By the time Lucy made it to the office, it was ten after eight. She slipped the pictures she’d printed from Cassie’s safe camera of Manny, along with the tracking device she’d discovered yesterday, into a manila envelope.
She took a deep breath, marched up to Gerald’s office door, then rapped on the doorjamb and stuck her head inside his office. “I need to talk to you.” She crossed her fingers, digging deep for the guts to continue.
“Sure.” He watched her approach his desk. “What’s up? Have you heard from your friend yet?”
“No.” She cleared her throat and ran her fingers along the edge of the envelope, before placing it on his desk. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” he asked, picking up the envelope she set in front of him. “What’s this?”
“Open it.”
“Okay.” He undid the clasp and took out the pictures. His brow furrowed. “I don’t understand? Who is this?”
“I thought maybe you could tell me.”
Gerald visibly stiffened and the stern look taking over his features didn’t bode well for the accusation to come, but she had no choice. She needed to find out the truth about his involvement with Cassie’s disappearance.
Killer Romances Page 88
