Funny Money

by Traci DePree

  “Wow,” Livvy said, awe in her voice. “What are you going to do?”

  “That’s what I need to figure out.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  For the next couple of days at dance rehearsals, Kate watched Hal and Audrey for any slipups, any sign that her suspicions were true. She thought about telling the sheriff of the odd-looking machine, but she wanted to be sure before she went accusing the quiet dance instructor.

  She’d heard through the grapevine that the two Secret Service agents had left town, awaiting the findings from the print shop at the storage facility. When she’d called Lincoln Finch about the camera, he’d said something was holding up the findings, though the specifics were sketchy.

  THE NIGHT OF THE dance competition finally arrived. Kate was full of nerves on more than one account. If only she’d had time to pull that sheet back and see for herself what Hal housed in his garage that was so precious he couldn’t park his Porsche in there.

  The Pine Ridge Country Club, where the competition was being held, was full of practicing, nervous couples. Many were much younger than Kate and Paul. There were even children and early teens, though thankfully they competed in different categories. Kate could just see her and Paul being outdone by a gap-toothed six-year-old couple.

  She bent to look in the mirror one last time before it was her and Paul’s turn to take the floor, but a large woman blocked her view. Paul stood to the side, just off the performers’ entrance to the dance floor, tugging on his tuxedo sleeves, which were an inch too short. He’d had the thing fitted twice, and still it wasn’t right.

  Finally the large woman with big hair moved out from in front of her, and Kate caught sight of herself. She barely recognized herself. Her dress was form fitting and covered in sequins from neckline to floor. She shimmered like wet nail polish when she moved, and her makeup had the dramatic overexaggeration that was essential in ballroom dance competitions. Thick eyeliner and bright shadow made Kate feel more like a raccoon than a dancer. She lightly touched her hair, which was a helmet of hair spray. Taking a deep breath, she made her way to Paul and the Cline sisters who’d joined him.

  The audience applauded as the couple before them in the lineup pranced off the dance floor.

  “Where is he?” Evelyn looked frantic. She was dressed to compete, in feathers and fringe.

  “Fish?” Kate asked.

  Evelyn nodded. “I think he’s standing me up!” She inhaled.

  Kate could see the tears that shimmered in her eyes.

  “I knew this was a bad idea!” She put her face into her hands.

  Georgia patted her back and tsk-tsked. Her blue hair was particularly high in a sort of Martha Washington do. The dress she wore carried on the late 1700s theme, complete with a wide bustle and petticoats.

  “Don’t worry, dear,” Georgia comforted. “He’ll be here.” She said the words, but her expression clearly communicated a disdainful Men! You can’t trust ’em!

  Evelyn lifted doubtful eyes. “You think he’ll come?”

  Georgia looked compassionately at her sister. “Why don’t we go take our seats and cheer for Kate and Paul, eh?”

  Evelyn turned to the Hanlons, finally nodding as she wiped the tears from her made-up face.

  “She’ll be okay,” Georgia whispered to Kate before they left. “I can’t say the same for Fish when I get done with him.”

  Kate smiled at their retreating backs before she turned to Paul. “Ready?” she said.

  “As I’ll ever be.” Paul’s face held a hint of a smirk, and Kate wondered for a moment whether he was secretly enjoying this.

  The announcer’s voice boomed over the speakers. “And next in the American-style Smooth Dance competition, from Copper Mill, we have the pastor-and-wife team of Paul and Katherine Hanlon performing the Viennese waltz.”

  Kate and Paul moved into position, heads lifted, backs slightly arched. Silence. Then the music began, a Johann Strauss piece that Audrey had chosen.

  Kate caught sight of Audrey watching from the front row, her gaze intent upon them. She offered a bright smile that Kate awkwardly returned as they moved into the next turn.

  Doubt pulled at Kate. How could she suspect a couple who’d been nothing but kind and generous of such an awful crime—not only the counterfeiting but framing Tim and separating him from the family who needed him so desperately?

  Then she realized, as Paul led her in the routine, that she didn’t see Hal. She glanced over Paul’s shoulder as they moved across the floor. Then she saw him standing near the exit sign talking to someone. Paul’s head obstructed her view for a moment. When she got a clear view, she saw it was Agent Norris. They were huddled in close conversation, and certainty filled Kate. Perhaps Audrey was sweet and likable, but those two men weren’t casual acquaintances. They were business partners.

  Paul tripped then, catching the hem of Kate’s dress. It wouldn’t have been too noticeable except for the tearing sound that accompanied it. Sequins scattered across the polished floor. The hem tangled around Kate’s high-heeled shoe, and in a slow-motion moment, Kate and Paul fell. It was a graceful moment, but then it was gone, eclipsed by the tangle of limbs and gasps from the crowd.

  The music kept right on while they lay there. Paul exchanged a look with Kate, and then they started laughing. He lifted her to a standing position, but with the torn state of her dress, Kate knew their dance had just ended. Paul bent down and tore what his shoe had started, turning the floor-length dress into an above-the-ankles number. The audience erupted into applause and friendly laughter. Kate grinned and waved at the crowd before she and Paul took a bow.

  Then, with shoulders back and heads raised, they walked off the stage hand in hand, where they broke into fits of laughter.

  “Promise me you won’t make me go back out there,” Paul begged Kate.

  “I don’t know. We did pretty well, didn’t we? Right up until you knocked the wind out of me.”

  “I don’t know what you two are laughing about,” Georgia said when she returned backstage. “That was horrible. They had to sweep the dance floor because of all the sequins you spilled!”

  Kate wiped tears from her eyes, she was laughing so hard.

  Joe Tucker came up from behind Georgia.

  “That’s going to be a hard routine to beat from a crowd-pleasing standpoint,” he said, a glint in his eyes.

  The announcer’s voice came over the speakers as the dancers who’d followed Kate and Paul finished their turn.

  Georgia took a deep breath. “We’re up soon.”

  Joe looked relaxed, calm enough to take a nap.

  “I’d better get changed,” Kate said to Georgia, motioning toward the dressing room. “I want to watch you dance, but there’s no way I’m going out there again in this getup.”

  “Evelyn and Audrey are saving seats,” Georgia said.

  Kate hurried to get changed while Paul went to sit with everyone else. She wiped the thick makeup from her face and slipped on a knee-length dress in a pale shade of pink just as the announcer gave the cue for Joe and Georgia to take the floor. She glanced around, trying to get another look at Hal and Agent Norris, but they’d left. Evelyn seemed calmer, though she wrung her hands together until her knuckles turned white.

  A hush fell over the crowd. Kate’s nerves tingled in anticipation of her friends’ dance. Evelyn was biting her lower lip. Kate lightly touched her shoulder, and the aged bank teller smiled.

  “He’ll come,” Kate said.

  Evelyn shook her head. “He called, Kate. Something came up.” She shrugged. “But that’s okay. Georgia can have her moment of glory.”

  Her smile was tremulous, and Kate sensed she was trying to be brave.

  Evelyn went on. “I get so nervous for her.” Her eyes crinkled into a smile, then her gaze returned to the dance floor. The music started with a much slower beat than Kate and Paul’s had been.

  Joe was definitely a leading man. He moved Georgia across the floor eff
ortlessly despite the walking stick. Georgia look like a spinning doll in a jewelry box, if such spinning dolls wore bustles. Audrey seemed mesmerized by their movement.

  She must’ve felt Kate’s scrutiny because she shifted in her chair before looking back to the dance.

  Kate felt like a traitor.

  Soon the music faded, and Joe and Georgia took their final pose. They had done a superb job. The crowd erupted in deafening applause. They waved and moved to the chairs where they would await their scores.

  “How do you think they’ll do?” Kate heard Evelyn whisper to Audrey.

  “Well,” Audrey said, “they’re at the top of the competition. They’ll definitely make finals.”

  Soon the scores were announced. Audrey’s prediction had proved dead-on.

  “Let’s congratulate them,” Audrey whispered to Kate and Evelyn.

  So at the next break in the show, the women left in search of Joe and Georgia.

  “That was amazing!” Evelyn cooed over her sister as she reached for a hug.

  Kate patted her on the back. Joe just grinned. He didn’t need to say a word.

  “Is it hot in here?” Georgia stepped back from Evelyn and fanned herself. “I’m so hot.” Then her eyes rolled back in her head. In an instant, she was on the floor, unconscious.

  Kate knelt down and turned Georgia onto her back, then put her ear near her mouth.

  “She’s breathing,” she said. Then she checked her pulse and nodded. “She has a pulse.”

  “Georgia, honey.” Evelyn was at her head, patting her cheeks as she spoke. Her voice was weak with obvious fear. “Wake up, Georgia. Wake up.”

  The elder sister’s eyelids fluttered, and she waved her hand in front of her face as if trying to shoo a fly. “Would you stop that? It’s so annoying.”

  Kate inhaled relief.

  “You’re okay,” Evelyn said.

  “What happened?” Georgia pulled herself to a seated position.

  “You just made the finals,” Kate informed, “then you passed out.”

  Georgia touched her forehead as she closed her eyes. “I don’t feel so good.”

  “Did you eat anything today?” Evelyn bent next to her in motherly fashion.

  “Yeah. I had a banana.”

  “That’s all?”

  Georgia shot her a look that clearly said, Back off! “Good night, Evelyn, I’ll be fine. Stop being so clucky.”

  The expression on the younger twin’s face said she was wounded by the reprimand, but she straightened and gave Kate a weak smile.

  “Now,” Georgia said, “can someone help me up?”

  She looked at Joe, who offered her a hand. But as soon as she was on her feet again, the same pale look came over her. Only this time, Joe caught her and helped her to sit.

  “You need to see a doctor,” Kate said.

  “I need no such thing.” Her head was between her hands when she spoke. “We just made the finals—are you insane? Joe and I are going to win that prize money, and that’s all there is to it.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “Just give me a few minutes.”

  Then Audrey said to Georgia, “We’ll go get you something to drink, okay?”

  Georgia nodded without saying a word.

  “She wasn’t trying to be rude,” Audrey said to Kate as they rushed into the hallway.

  “I know,” Kate said. “She’s put a lot into this.”

  They reached the Coke machine, and Audrey pulled a crisp five-dollar bill from her handbag, slipping it into the bill slot. The machine took it at first, then spit it out.

  “That’s odd,” Audrey murmured. Quickly she stuffed the money back into her wallet, riffling through it for another bill.

  “What’s wrong?” Kate played innocent.

  “Do you have something smaller?”

  “I left my handbag with Georgia and Evelyn.”

  “The machine doesn’t want to take my money.” She looked around as if trying to think fast.

  “We could head to concessions,” Kate offered.

  Audrey’s eyes lit up. “Perfect.”

  She led the way and gave the five to the teenager at the booth, who looked to be too young to even have a job. He handed her the large soda and her change, and Audrey started back toward Georgia and the others.

  When she was just out of earshot, Kate caught the young man’s attention and said, “Would you do me a favor and put that bill aside? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  He gave her a puzzled look but did as she’d asked. Kate quickly caught up to Audrey, who’d seemed preoccupied with returning to her student.

  Georgia looked no better when they returned. She reached for the Coke and drank deeply.

  “Would y’all stop hovering over me?” she scolded. “I said I’ll be fine.”

  “We don’t have to do this.” Joe leaned over to talk to her.

  Georgia glared at him. “You want to back out on me now?”

  Joe held up his hands. “I never said that.”

  “Good.”

  The announcer’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Will the finalists in the American Smooth Dance competition check in with the judges, please? We’ll be starting that round in just a little bit.”

  “That’s us,” Georgia rose. She placed the flat of her hand on her chest. “Y’all go take your seats. You don’t want to miss this.”

  “Let me fix your hair,” Evelyn said, touching the blue mass that had collapsed when her sister had.

  Georgia turned to look in one of the many mirrors sprinkled throughout the backstage area. “All right,” she conceded.

  Kate and Audrey made their way toward the exit and back down the hall to the competition.

  “I’m going to stop in at the ladies’ room,” Kate said. “Can you save my seat?”

  “Of course,” Audrey said. She pushed through the exit and was gone.

  Kate quickly used the restroom, then returned to the concession stand and the youthful attendant. “Do you have that five-dollar bill?” she asked.

  He held it up. Kate pulled a real bill from her handbag.

  “I’ll trade you,” she said.

  “Okay...” He eyed her as she stuffed the bill in a side pocket of her bag. “You’re weird.” He didn’t say it in an unkind way; he was just stating the obvious.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  And now,” the announcer said in his dramatic, even-paced voice, “dancing the Viennese waltz one more time—competitors Joe Tucker and Georgia Cline!”

  The crowd erupted. Joe held a hand high as he led Georgia onto the floor. What was keeping Evelyn? She would hate missing her sister’s performance. But Kate didn’t see the blue-haired twin anywhere.

  Hal had returned from wherever he’d gone. He was on the other side of his wife, quiet and watchful as always. Agent Norris had vanished.

  Joe and Georgia pranced in a circle before coming to a halt in the center of the glossy hardwood floor. They struck their first pose as the audience quieted. Evelyn hadn’t done a very good job with Georgia’s hair, Kate thought. It was considerably flatter than it had been, as if the air had been let out of a balloon. Just how much hair spray had the woman used on the do before?

  The music flowed across the floor, taking Georgia and Joe along with it in its one-two-three beat, Joe’s cane keeping tempo. Kate had never seen the two dance with such soul. It was enticing, intimate almost. It was as if...Kate shook the thought from her head, then looked around to see where Evelyn had gone. Still no sight of her.

  When the music finally faded, it was to a stunned audience. After a long moment of silence, wild clapping and cheering filled the room. Georgia blushed as she looked to Joe, who in turn motioned for her to take her bow. The crowd was on its feet then, spectators hooting and hollering as if they were at Fenway Park instead of a refined ballroom dance competition in Pine Ridge, Tennessee.

  Joe grinned and waved at the crowd, then led Georgia off the floor. Kate exchanged a smile with Audrey, aware tha
t she held the woman’s counterfeit five-dollar bill in her handbag.

  “They’re actually going to win!” Audrey said. She shook her head and leaned to whisper something to her husband.

  He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. Kate felt the counterfeit bill in the side compartment of her handbag. She hadn’t had time to examine it.

  Was it a fake as she’d suspected? It had to be. The soda machine had denied it even though it was as crisp and new as any bill fresh from the bank. Without magnetic ink, the fakes were easy to spot, assuming, that was, that the counterfeiter printed fresh bills on rag paper as well as bleaching real cash.

  “AND NOW, THE WINNERS of the beginners’ ballroom dance challenge...”

  The voice that had been speaking to them all evening finally had a body. He was a scrawny man with sunken cheeks and a crew cut. As Kate looked at him, she couldn’t reconcile the preconceived image she’d formed from his strong baritone voice with the reality of his puny physique.

  Eight couples stood side by side as the man showboated in front of them center stage. “Give them a hand, everyone! Didn’t they do a great job here tonight?”

  The crowd obliged.

  Georgia’s dress looked a little baggy on her. Not much, but it no longer strained across her midriff.

  She glanced around, looking for Evelyn. It wasn’t like her not to be there watching the festivities. When Kate stretched, she thought she could make out the blue-haired twin just past the exit sign, but it was a faint glimpse.

  “All right!” he went on, holding up an envelope. “In my hand I have the judges’ decision.”

  He made a show of tearing the envelope open. A drum-roll sounded as he read off the seventh- through the third-place finishers. Finally only Joe and Georgia remained, with a couple that looked to be in their early twenties.

  “That leaves the husband-and-wife team of Christopher and Antoinette Mielke and partners Joe Tucker and Georgia Cline!”

  As he said it, Evelyn took the seat next to Kate.

  “Would he just get over it and announce the winner already?” Evelyn said.

  Kate turned to look at her. Something about her didn’t seem right.