“Okay, okay,” she says with forced resignation and rises to her feet. Juliana tries to look preoccupied as she brushes the dust off her clothes.
I climb to my feet, blow out a deep breath for having to play the role of mega dillhole, and take her hands in mine.
“Ready to call it quits now?” I ask half joking, but secretly fearing she will agree.
She shakes her head as she stares at her Chucks.
“You should have believed me when I told you my integrity was the blight of my pitiful existence.”
“You’re not so bad,” she says. “And you’re pretty good at kissing.”
“Pretty good? Going straight to my ego. Hit him while he’s down. Didn’t know you could be so vicious.”
“All right. You’re slightly better than pretty good,” she says, adjusting her previous description.
“Maybe you should give me a lesson because you’re knock-my-socks off amazing at it.”
“I guess I could try to show you a couple of things,” she says, a teasing smile gracing her lips.
“Thank the gods; she’s willing to teach a fool like me,” I say to the sky.
Juliana leans into me and I take full advantage of her offer. After a mind-bending, soft and gentle, then feverish and lustful exploration of each other’s mouths, she rests her head against my shoulder and we float back to earth together.
I stroke her hair and hold her close, knowing our bodies fit perfectly together. “Our first time will be worth waiting for, Juliana. I promise.”
Chapter Four: Playing with Fire
Juliana
Castle Hill Studios’ new location isn’t quite as jaw dropping as the location inside the actual castle, but it’s still one of the classiest businesses I’ve ever frequented.
Since my brother, Jared, is living on borrowed time, I’ve been spending all my free time with him. I haven’t been going to work at the herb shop and I’ve only had a couple lessons with Chris while Jared was preoccupied with friends or asleep.
Tonight, his band’s working on recording their first professionally produced album with Castle Hill’s label. The recording studio is designed in a way that lets everyone feel at ease, which hopefully translates to producing their best creative effort. Besides the sound booths and technical areas, there’s a lobby, rec. room, lounge, kitchen, and offices. There are minor cosmetic projects still being completed, but the studio is open and albums are being recorded. I guess when you’re as rich as Lance De’Lao, you can pay workers to finish quickly.
As far as I’m concerned — and the band, too — we couldn’t be happier with the new accommodations. Castle Hill was too haunted. Lance doesn’t have time for supernatural distractions, and neither does my brother. As for the studio time, Mostly Mayhem has two more days and nights to pull this album together before they begin to tour with The Shy Lights.
Nathaniel and I enter the lobby and say hello to Yvette, Lance De’Lao’s personal assistant.
“Yvette, this is Nathaniel. Is it okay if we hang out tonight? I’m sure the band won’t mind. I’ve brought them dinner.” I hold up the bags of takeout.
“Good evening, Juliana. Please, go in and make yourself comfortable.” Her slight accent adds something subtly exotic to her always professional and pleasant demeanor. “The Shy Lights are here working on their new EP. I thought you might want to know.”
“Err… thanks,” I say, my mouth going dry. I swallow as a vision of Star Quillin wielding a long silver blade flashes through my memory bank.
“The Shy Lights are in studio two. You and your guest should have plenty of space to avoid one another.”
News travels literally at the speed of sound. Yvette and everyone else knows Star nearly cut my head off when she was mentally unbalanced from refusing to take her medication for bi-polar disorder. Nathaniel squeezes my hand and keeps his gaze fixed on my face.
“Thanks, Yvette,” I say, my throat tight and my scar tingling.
My spine stiffens as I wait for Yvette to buzz the door and let us pass from the lavishly decorated lobby to the hallway that leads to studio one.
“Are you sure you want to face Marcus like this?” I ask Nathaniel.
“Are you sure you want to be in the same building with Star,” he asks.
“I’m fine.” I’m not sure if I’m being honest about Star, but I’m here.
Nathaniel wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Marcus is going to have to get over it sooner or later. My client is here tonight, too. My mentor can’t force me to leave.”
“He’ll probably make you keep your distance from Jared, though.”
“We’ll see,” Nathaniel says.
“Bringing dinner shouldn’t be this stressful,” I murmur.
“We can leave if you want to.”
I fill my lungs on a long inhale. “No. There’s too much synchronicity going on with both of us. I think we’re supposed to be here.”
Nathaniel gives me another reassuring squeeze.
There are different areas to view the bands. I take Nathaniel to the game room and lounge, which also has a window into studio one.
I place the food on a table in the corner before waving hello to Jared through the window. I adjust the volume knob on a small panel built into the wall so we can hear what they’re working on. When I was here the other night, Marcus was chilling out in the technical room with the soundboards. I hope he’s in there now, or not even in the building at all. Either way, I don’t see the massive Angel of Death lingering nearby waiting for my brother to cross over.
Jared, Caleb, Derrick, Dan, and the new guy, Alex, appear grungy and frayed at the edges. But even with tired eyes and wrinkled clothes, I don’t think a single one of them has lost an ounce of enthusiasm for the music they’re creating. It’s been a long stretch of hours and I doubt anyone has gone home to shower, shave, or change.
“Should I go check on Steven and give you a minute to not worry about Marcus showing up?” Nathaniel offers.
His hand rests on my low back as we watch Mostly Mayhem on the other side of the glass.
“You don’t have to go,” I say. “We already agreed to try and have one night like a regular couple. And I don’t see him.”
“So far so good then,” Nathaniel says.
Mostly Mayhem sounds tight. Better than ever. The addition of Alex to the keyboards and synthesizers for certain songs was an excellent idea. The depth he’s adding by creating layers of sound makes my blood hum and my body want to move. When I listen to my brother’s band with the addition of Alex, I picture them as professionals able to reach a much broader audience.
“It’s kind of ironic that they only found Alex because Jared’s hand was broken,” I remark as Jared smiles with satisfaction after playing a perfect riff.
This take should be it. Everyone inside the booth looks thrilled as they close the song.
“He filled in when Jared couldn’t play?” Nathaniel asks.
“Yeah. He’s a talented guitar player, too. They asked him to join the band after Jared was back.”
Nathaniel takes my hand in his. “Does Caleb know Jared isn’t going to be a member forever?”
“Jared hasn’t told anyone he’s being stalked by the Angel of Death except for Star. I didn’t even think of it before, but I guess Alex will take Jared’s place after…” I falter.
“Having someone in place will be good for the band, right?” Nathaniel adds, trying for optimism.
“I’m not sure Caleb will want to continue without my brother. I’m not sure any of them will. I guess we’ll have to let those pieces fall where they may.” I close my eyes to the thought. The future isn’t something I can dwell on knowing my brother won’t be in it.
“They’ve been friends for a long time?”
“All of them. Since they were annoying little carpet monkeys. No, wait. They’re still annoying brats. They’re just a lot bigger now.” I smile up at Nathaniel and try to push the sadness aside. “They’ve been friends
since forever.”
“It’s never easy, Juliana.”
“I know.” Losing my father at a young age taught me a harsh life lesson early in life.
The band positions their instruments for a break and they file out of the recording booth.
For a group of sleep-deprived musicians, they’re lively and amped up as they talk over music particulars. Jared, Caleb, and Derrick filter into the lounge without Dan and Alex.
“Jules is the best sister our band could ever have,” Derrick says as he dives into the bag full of burritos and tacos.
“She’ll do,” Jared says, winking at me.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” I ask Jared and Caleb.
“I’m not hungry,” Jared says. He tips a bottle of water up to his lips and gulps.
“I am,” Derrick says.
“You always are,” I say.
“That’s true,” he admits. “Man, we’ve been in there for hours. My gut’s caving in.”
“Hours?” I ask.
He nods and stuffs an oversized burrito into his face.
I glance at Jared, trying hard to not be suspicious. The last time Jared was uncharacteristically not eating was the result of being high on methamphetamines, which causes a suppressed appetite. He promised me he wouldn’t take any more drugs. He almost died from mixing uppers and downers and he swore to me it was the last time.
“Did you eat earlier?” I ask, trying to keep my voice casual.
“Mmh-hmm,” he says and turns away so I won’t see his face.
“You’re freaking lying to me,” I say.
“He is,” Marcus says, and I nearly have a heart attack on the spot.
I inhale a ragged breath instead of screaming from the surprise of Marcus suddenly appearing next to me.
“Not here, Jules,” Jared says and walks out of the room while I’m still holding my chest in attempt to calm my erratic heartbeat.
Caleb grabs a drink from the fridge in the corner and follows Jared. They’re two peas… and I know from growing up with these two delinquents that whatever one does the other one is also doing. Caleb is well aware of Jared’s promise to give up drugs, and I’m sure he’s running away with my brother to avoid any accusations.
I rush after my brother to get a better look at him. He’s halfway down the hallway before I catch up and turn him around so I can see his eyes.
“Please, tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”
“He’ll be fine. I’m keeping a close watch on our boy,” Caleb says.
“I bet you are,” I say bitterly and shove Caleb back.
“You don’t have to get all abusive on me,” he says, looking wounded.
“You’re the one who keeps shoving this crap down my brother’s throat.”
“We’re working our asses off here,” Caleb says, trying to justify his actions.
“Stop it, Jules,” Jared says.
His dark and normally vibrant eyes are tweaked and dull. I clearly see how whatever drug he’s currently on is depleting his life force energy.
“Why?” I ask, letting it be an all-inclusive question.
Tears are beginning to sting the back of my eyes. The anger and frustration that Jared has already broken his promise to remain clean ignites a fire so intense inside me I feel the soles of my feet burning.
“I don’t want to argue. Let me decide what I can and can’t handle,” Jared says.
“Do you want to be labeled as just another junkie guitar player?”
“You can’t understand,” he says.
There’s something about the look on his face that gives me pause. I suddenly feel the pull of his heartache. His uncontrollable need and pain. He knows he’s hurting me and he knows he’s powerless to stop it. The moment strikes me to the bone and I almost cry out.
Jared is an addict.
He’s unable to stop doing drugs, even though he wants to. Even though he knows it’s literally killing him and making him miserable. Even though he’s promised me over and over again. I close my eyes, trying like hell to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks. Closing my eyelids is my first attempt to shut off this reality; to shut down this revelation.
Unfortunately, the battle with my brother isn’t the only quarrel going on. Nathaniel and Marcus are having their own clash of wills. Nathaniel must have given up his physical body and returned to his spirit self because he wouldn’t be yelling otherwise.
Marcus’s deep rumbling voice booms from down the hall. I know I’m the only living person who hears him and the sound raises the fine hairs on the back of my neck.
“We’re past the warning stage, Nathaniel.”
“Really? I didn’t realize I needed your permission to watch over my client.”
“Don’t make light of the situation.”
“I’m not. I’m trying to do my job!” Nathaniel says.
Jared and I turn away from each other at the same time. My empathy is too strong right now. This isn’t the place to feel Jared’s suffering. Caleb grabs my brother’s sleeve and tows him away from me.
Trying to hold myself together emotionally, as seemingly impossible as that may be, I switch focus to the new problem at hand and head toward the sound of Nathaniel and Marcus’s voices. They’re behind a partially open door. I won’t interrupt because it’s not my place and because I want to hear the details of this running argument between my boyfriend and his former mentor.
“I’m not here to interfere with Jared! I know he’s going to pass.”
“Then you need to get on with your next job!”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing. He’s here. Inside the studio.”
“Go see to him then!” Marcus says.
“I can visit with my friends if I want.”
“Oh, I know what you’re about, man. I haven’t forgotten your extended stay with Liam the traitor. Are you willing to give up your soul then?” Marcus asks.
“I’m nothing like Liam,” Nathaniel growls back.
“Aren’t you?” Marcus demands.
“Nothing! He’s an arrogant ass who enjoys torturing people.”
“He’s a conjurer and a manipulator,” Marcus says.
“If you would have answered my questions, I wouldn’t have had to seek him out.”
“Your fall from grace will not be on me.”
“What’s wrong with wanting my life back?” Nathaniel yells.
“It doesn’t work that way,” Marcus yells back. “Without order, chaos wins. There are laws in this world. You’ll never be accepted into the afterlife if you pursue this.”
“Even if I find the right replacement?” Nathaniel asks.
His certainty in this last question makes me think finding a replacement is the key to Nathaniel’s success.
“I’m not discussin’ this any longer. You’re playing an unforgiveable game.”
“She’s worth it,” Nathaniel says.
I rush into the game room and collapse on a couch. Derrick and Dan are eating tacos and talking about playing a game of pool before they have to step into the sound booth again.
Nathaniel enters a second later and sits next to me. He’s back in his physical body.
“You’re shaking,” he says.
His pewter colored eyes swim with concern. He brushes his fingers over my cheek and along my jaw. I feel the angelic energy he’s sharing with me. The unnatural warmth penetrates through my skin and enters every cell inside my body. This energy normally brings a sense of calm serenity. It’s amazingly peaceful… but I block it.
“Don’t,” I say. I’m not angry, but I don’t want his help right now.
“What is it?”
“Everything. Nothing.”
“Please, don’t shut down, Jules.”
“It may be too late.” I stare into my lap.
“It’s not. We’re in this together.”
He tips my chin his way, so I’m forced to meet his gaze.
“Can you help Jared? Can your angelic energy help h
is drug addiction?” I whisper so Derrick and Dan won’t hear.
Diversion is such a devious yet helpful tactic. Let him think Jared is my most recent concern, and not that I know he’s willing to sacrifice his chance at heaven to be with me.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he says with a small yet somehow sad smile on his gorgeous face.
I close my eyes on a sigh that relieves none of my anxiety and rest my head against the back of the couch. Nathaniel takes my hand in his and passes me more of his incredibly soothing energy. This time, I don’t block his help.
∞
Nathaniel
“Steven needs me,” I say as I receive the unmistakable pull to be near my client.
“He’s inside the building, right?” Juliana says.
“He’s close by. Steven’s going to be on the tour. He’s the new fill-in for The Shy Lights’ regular stagehand. They need him to be familiar with the instruments and the songs before the tour starts.”
“You should go find him. I’ll be fine. I am getting tired, though, so I’ll be driving home pretty soon.”
Juliana has calmed down a lot since her run-in with Jared, but I still don’t want to leave her side. I always hate leaving her.
“Let me know when you’re ready to leave.”
“Why? You planning on stalking me home?” she asks with a smirk.
“Of course. It’s a long drive. I worry.”
“There’s no need. I’m probably the best driver you’re ever going to meet,” she says.
“It’s the other drivers I worry about.”
“Go check on Steven. I want to hang out and listen for a few more minutes. I’ll be right here on this couch until I’m ready to leave.”
Alex and Dan entered the recording booth, but the rest of the band had not returned from their break. It amazes me how these musicians can keep going all night long. Not that I wasn’t up for it. Day or night makes little difference to me. Juliana, on the other hand, needs to sleep at some point, especially after her strange day with Chris.
I scoop her up and set her on my lap. She squirms and pushes against my chest, but I don’t let go.
“What are you doing?” she giggles.
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