Push

by BLMorticia

  “I agree. I know a couple of good ones,” Peter said through the loudspeaker.

  Seth grimaced over that conversation. He eyed Malakei, sitting at his desk, probably going over some important documents. His manicured nails moved across the papers, one by one.

  “Mmmph.” Seth closed the door behind him.

  Malakei looked up. “Hey, Peter. I have a visitor. I’ll call you later. Okay. Bye.” Malakei pressed the button on his desk phone. “Hi there.”

  “Hello. Why aren’t you watching us in the studio?”

  Malakei smiled. “I figured Barry could handle it. Like you said last night, he can work his magic without me.”

  Seth nodded. “It’s true, but I thought you’d want to hear us again.”

  “I do, but I don’t want to be a distraction.”

  “You won’t be.” Seth ambled over and took a seat on the edge of Malakei’s desk. Being this close now, Seth fought everything inside him not to jump in Malakei’s lap and continue from where they’d left off.

  “Yeah, I will. I was going to come in later.”

  Seth leaned in and inhaled Malakei’s scent. “What cologne do you wear?”

  “It’s an aftershave from Paris. Mon Deux. You like it?”

  “Like is an understatement. I love it. It fits you so well. Mixes in with your natural scent and taste.”

  “Taste?”

  “I licked your skin, remember? I’d love to go further.”

  Malakei met Seth’s gaze and grinned. “You’re something else.”

  “This I know. You heard my mother. Besides that, I always go after what I want.”

  Malakei sighed and straightened up in his chair. “I do too.”

  “So we have that established, which is a good thing. We both want one another and for this band to succeed.”

  “Yes, but business first.”

  “We’ve got it handled, which means….” Seth inched in close.

  Malakei leaned back. “You’re dangerous.”

  Seth laughed and moved so he was in front of Malakei. He had no issue with turning up the heat between them, especially when the man was so damn vulnerable. With Seth here, Malakei couldn’t run away if he tried. Something told Seth he had no intention of doing that.

  Seth eyed Malakei and opened his legs.

  Malakei stood up, still staring at Seth. He leaned into Seth and placed both hands on his thighs. In one fluid motion, he spread them apart and stepped into the space in between. He ghosted his mouth over Seth’s.

  “Now who’s the tease?”

  Malakei nodded. “One good turn deserves another, my man. You’re sitting on my desk. I can’t do any work, so I might as well take advantage… of you.”

  Seth breathed in deeply and licked his lips. “Go on then.”

  Malakei exhaled, and traced Seth’s mouth with the tip of his tongue. In a matter of moments, he enveloped Seth’s mouth into his own, holding on to his nape and pulling him in.

  Seth gasped into the embrace, feeling those flames grow wild inside him. Although he struggled to keep himself under control, he would because of where they were. With the passion amped up, Seth wouldn’t need to do anything but watch Malakei in action. Sometimes being a submissive was the best thing ever, and he’d give up control to Malakei.

  “I want you,” Seth spoke, breathless, covering Malakei’s mouth with his own. With their bodies so close, Seth’s erection jolted in his jeans, pressing against the zipper. Wanting more, he ran his hands over his shoulders, yanking Malakei into him. He wished he could strip him bare, but they had company, and Barry could call him back to the studio at any moment.

  “Dammit. I told myself I wouldn’t do this.”

  “But you couldn’t help yourself.”

  “No. You’re bad news, Seth Davies.”

  “But you like me, though.”

  “I do… a lot.” Malakei curled his hand around Seth’s neck and pulled him in for another lip-lock, nearly knocking the wind out of Seth. Seth saw stars again, and he willed himself to not explode atop Malakei’s papers. Fuck.

  Despite being thoroughly entranced by Malakei, thoughts of what Seth had said to Morty flooded his brain. Malakei was his man. In Seth’s mind, they were only two steps from becoming a couple.

  However, did Malakei feel the same way? Regardless of what he’d said, would he claim Seth as he wanted him to? Seth hoped so because sleeping alone didn’t suit him anymore.

  “Fuck. I can’t do this.” Malakei moved back and put his hands up. His brown eyes wide, lips swollen. Apparently, he was having a hard time resisting Seth. “We can’t. No matter how much I want you.” Malakei turned his back on him.

  “Why? Malakei, you want me, and I you. That’s clear.”

  “Yes it is, but it’s not good for the band or for you.”

  “Pfft. No, just say it’s not good for you.” Seth hopped off the desk in a huff.

  Malakei turned around, appearing shocked by Seth’s bold statement. “What are you insinuating?”

  “I’m stating the fucking obvious. You don’t want this because it’ll force you to do what you don’t want, which is come out!” Seth didn’t care who was out there. Maybe it was best that people heard so Malakei would give up the charade.

  “That’s not true. I’m thinking about you guys first.”

  “That’s bollocks and you know it. If you were out of the closet, this wouldn’t even be an issue, man. You don’t want to do this because it raises questions about you. Ruins your rep!”

  “Okay, that’s true, but it isn’t my first concern. You guys are on the verge of something big. You’re about to take the world by storm. You don’t need news about fucking around with the guy who financed you riding over yours or the band’s head.”

  “Fuck that! I don’t really care. If people take issue, let ’em!”

  “Seth, you don’t get it, do you? The entertainment world is mostly about appearances and reputation, not your talent. If anyone gets wind that we’re dating while you’re still trying to make it, they’ll have you for lunch. You won’t be able to go anywhere without someone asking you about me. Believe me, us not proceeding with this is in your best interest.”

  Seth shook his head and sighed. Although he understood what Malakei had said, he couldn’t care less about what anyone thought. “Fine. You want it that way for now, fine. I’ll step back.”

  “Thank you.” Malakei folded his arms. “It’s for your own good.”

  “And for yours, right?” Seth ran his hand through his hair and laughed bitterly. “Look, I don’t care about what anyone says about me, and neither do Morty and Gio. We’re a band and nothing’s gonna change that no matter what anyone thinks. They wanna snicker about me bonking you, then go right on ahead. I don’t give a flying rat’s arse if they do. All I know is, I’ve been watching you for two years plus, wishing I had a shot at you. Now that I do, I’m over the fucking moon. And knowing what kind of private man you are, I should expect exactly this. You don’t like anyone in your business. You barely make appearances, and now that I know why, it all fits together. So, I’ll leave you be for now. I will, but I’m gonna tell you, I won’t for long. I’m gonna keep toeing the line and be good Seth for your benefit, but once I’ve had enough, I will unleash it all on you, and I won’t give up until we’re fucking. You got that, Malakei? You got that? Good.”

  Seth spun on his heel and left without saying a word. He slammed the door, ignoring Malakei’s calls to come back.

  “Seth, are you okay?” Lena called out to him.

  Seth didn’t turn around. “I’m great, babe. Just tell me where I can have a smoke, please, ’cause I fucking need one!”

  AFTER SETH’S blowup in his office, Malakei headed home. He didn’t have the strength to stay and answer any of Lena’s questions or face Seth again, so he let everyone know he needed the afternoon off and to contact him if need be.

  Once he changed out of his suit, Malakei sat on the couch, staring at his surroundings.
The perfect castle he’d built in six years had been his sanctuary, but it was becoming almost like a prison. With no one special in his life, it made it harder to feel good about what he’d accomplished. Malakei’s mother had warned him of this, but he never took heed because he substituted work for love.

  Recalling Seth’s last words, Malakei felt numb. The man had every right to be angry with him about the course Malakei took.

  The cost to both was just too high.

  There was too much of a risk, and Malakei wouldn’t renege on his promise to help this band, no matter how much he desired their lead singer.

  The fact was, Malakei adored this band. High Stakes was exactly what he thought the world needed right now. Three young guys who could turn the heads of many young women and men, playing music with an edge and a melody. High Stakes could be the next overnight hit, and Malakei desperately wanted to help them get there.

  Despite those thoughts, Malakei couldn’t get Seth out of his head. He was sexy, delicious, and so freaking talented. He was smart, hungry, and like he’d said, he probably could handle all the questions about his sexuality or the person he dated without an issue. However, Malakei didn’t want the gossipers and paparazzi to tear him down. He wanted to protect Seth from the issues he himself built this castle for. The people who meant well, but sucked the life right out of you, because they’d already done that to him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “YOU’RE GONNA need to stop brooding, mate.”

  “Wot?” Seth turned to meet Morty’s eyes.

  “You heard me. Stop fucking brooding. The guy is probably right. I kind of sensed you were losing it big-time over those first couple of days we were here.”

  Seth sighed. “I was doing nothing of the sort. I want Malakei, and I will get him.”

  “Okay, fine, but you’ve been an even bigger asshole now than you were at first.”

  Seth glared at Morty and took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Whatever, man. Get your gear so we can go.”

  After hearing Morty sigh, Seth spun on his heel and picked up his guitar case. They’d been in New York a couple of weeks recording what was supposed to be a three-song set that turned into five. The band had written two more songs with Barry on second guitar. Seth loved that Barry was so in tune with them, but he still missed Malakei being there alongside.

  In all truth, Seth missed Malakei, period. Since the blowup, he’d barely spoken to him other than greetings and curt responses to his questions. Morty was right about how Seth had treated him, but in Seth’s mind, Malakei didn’t deserve anything more. Bottom line, he hurt Seth. Rejecting him cut worse than any sharp blade. He’d been smoking a lot more as of late, spending more time on the balcony than in the hotel suite. Seth’s bad mood had Malakei’s name written all over it.

  So, Seth dealt with it as best he could by doing what he came here for: for High Stakes to make it big. The music was the most important thing. Perhaps by the time everything took off, Seth would forget about his desire for the closeted rapper and move on to someone who’d appreciate him. Not fucking bloody likely.

  Once he’d grabbed his guitar and another pack of smokes from the hotel gift shop, they headed into the studio as they’d done for two and a half weeks. Both Seth’s and Gio’s mom returned to Birmingham after the first week, but Morty’s girlfriend Gina had stayed behind. Thankfully, Malakei paid for the two to have a separate suite from Seth and Gio. If they weren’t having sex, they were arguing. Seth wondered had the security guards heard them.

  “Good morning, guys.” The receptionist spoke, and they walked to the left. When they opened the door, Malakei was sitting with Barry at the board.

  Seth sucked in a breath and walked past them, saying a dry hello. He didn’t bother to stop to get a reaction from Malakei, just kept going so he wouldn’t lose himself in the man’s gaze.

  “So, uh, Barry thinks you guys are about ready to get this mastered. Once we do that, we can send it to the traditional and internet radio stations to get the ball rolling,” Malakei said to them.

  “Cool,” Gio exclaimed.

  “Fucking brill,” Morty said, sounding happy.

  Seth only nodded and sat on the stool.

  “Perhaps then we can talk about a tour. I mean, I’d love for you guys to play some shows back home. I found a promoter and….”

  Seth held his hand up. “Wait, wait, whoa. You found us a promoter?”

  Malakei stopped. “Yes. Don’t worry, he’s very trustworthy and knows the European and US markets well.”

  “Without consulting us first? I mean, gods, Malakei, I know how to find people to work with us back home.”

  Malakei shrugged. “I thought I was helping. He’s trustworthy and will not cheat you.”

  “Okay, fine, but you couldn’t consult us first?” Seth snapped.

  “I’m sorry. This is my first time doing more than just producing a band, so maybe I overstepped….”

  “You did, man. You didn’t talk with us beforehand.”

  “Seth….”

  “Shut the fuck up, Morty! Look, I know you put your money into us, but you’re almost acting like you’re a record company. And you say you don’t want the stress?”

  “I don’t. I did what I thought was good for the band.”

  “Yep. You always do. Not giving a shit about how anyone else feels, right? Because good old Malakei, M. Prophet, knows better!”

  “Seth…,” Malakei interrupted him.

  “Don’t ‘Seth’ me, right? I want us… the band and you, to pick our promoter, tour manager. Everything needs to be an effort between the four of us. How will we know how to do anything on our own?”

  Malakei nodded. “You’re right. Okay, I’ll back off. If you don’t want to work with the guy, fine. Maybe if you met him, you’d change your mind.”

  Seth sighed. “Maybe. I think we can do the British one on our own. Word’s gotten out about us even before we accepted your help, so I doubt we’ll need a big-time tour manager that’s probably costing you thousands to do something we don’t need.”

  “Ah fuck,” Morty said.

  Malakei appeared undeterred by what Seth said. He cleared his throat. “Okay, then. You guys finish up with Barry. I’ll be in my office.”

  He left, then closed the door.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Morty yelled.

  “Ugh, Seth. You’re letting this thing get in the way of your better judgment, eh. He knows more about this business than we do,” Gio added.

  “I’m sure he does, but he didn’t consult with us!”

  “Are you fucking mad, man? He’s financed this whole damn thing. We should all be kissing his rings right now for all this!” Morty screamed.

  “Fuck you, right? Fuck you all. Just because I don’t want to give up all control to him, it’s a bad thing? We know people in Birmingham that’ll get us into places.”

  “Seth, he knows more.”

  Seth looked around at Barry. He stood up straight. “I’m not doubting that, but shouldn’t he have told us beforehand?”

  “Ah, Seth, c’mon. He’s doing what he can to help. You’re allowing the issue you have with him to cloud your judgment. Malakei has always been a big help to artists whether or not they’ve worked in his studio.”

  “I get it. I do. I just want some aspect of managing High Stakes back. That’s all.”

  Barry sighed. “Morty, Gio, can you give two queers a chance to talk alone please?”

  Morty and Gio gasped.

  “C’mon, really. You didn’t know?” Barry asked them.

  “Not a clue. You hide it well. C’mon, Gio, we’ll take a walk.”

  “All right. Talk some sense into him, will ya,” Gio said as they left.

  Seth sighed heavily and turned his back on Barry. During this whole process, they’d chatted about music. Seth liked him because he’d been in a metal band so in a way he was like a metal brother. Still, Barry was close with Malakei, so surely he would take Malakei
’s side.

  “What?” Seth pulled the cigarette from the side of his ear. He wished that he could smoke it.

  “I know you’re hurting because Malakei rejected you, but really, he’s only doing what he feels is best.”

  “Is it that, Barry? I mean… I adore the guy. I want to have his babies, if I could have ’em, you know. That much hasn’t changed.”

  “So cut him some slack!”

  “Why? He hurt my feelings. I’ve been a fan of his for years, and right after we had that moment, he pushes me away like some rag doll he didn’t want.”

  “He does it to everybody.” Barry sighed. “You aren’t the first one.”

  Seth knew that, but the bitter pill was still hard to swallow.

  “Look. He likes you, Seth. You just have to give him time. Fighting with Malakei will not make him come to you any faster. You’re insulting him.”

  “I’m insulting him? Barry, he insulted me by saying he’s rejecting me for my best interest.”

  “Which isn’t a total load of crock, but I get it. Just… fuck, man, give him a chance. He did the same thing to Peter when they dated.”

  Seth grimaced at that comment. The ex was the last person he wanted to hear about. “If you’re going to compare this to what happened with Peter, I suppose we’re doomed from the beginning.”

  “I’m just saying Malakei has been like this since I’ve known him. He pushes everyone out of his life until a light bulb comes on somewhere and he goes, ‘Hey, I like and need that person.’ Believe me it will happen.”

  “When, man?” Seth turned around to face Barry. “I can’t stay here forever. I miss my mom and home.”

  “I know. Malakei can jet back and forth. He has a home in England, so….”

  “He does?” Seth perked up at that.

  “Yeah. He loves the English countryside. Anyway, don’t give up hope, man. He’ll come around. I promise you.”

  Seth nodded and placed the cigarette between his lips. “I won’t, but I’m telling you, the wait is killing me!”