“Don't worry,” I said reassuringly. “You look absolutely fine and the pie smells delicious.”
“Sorry ladies, I have to take this.” Aaron pulled a vibrating cell phone from his pocket and stepped outside, his sunglasses still glued to his face. I began wondering if he would ever take them off long enough for me to see his eyes. Why that was so important to me I couldn't guess, though I suspected it had something to do with Mary.
“Come, I'll show you to your room and give you a quick tour of the place.”
I followed Anne as she turned and headed toward the grand staircase in the centre of the foyer. By the time we'd returned from our tour, Aaron had stepped back into the house.
“Is everything alright?” Anne asked him.
“Yes, fine.” I saw something flash between Aaron and Anne that I didn't quite understand. Once again, I had to push down a jealousy that made absolutely no sense.
“You sure?” Anne pressed.
“Well, it seems my car has been found, but unfortunately, not in the same condition as it was taken.”
“Oh yes! Peter told me your car was stolen.”
“I'm sure he also told you about my waking him early this morning?” Aaron asked Anne.
“Of course!” Anne nodded. “He had breakfast with us this morning.”
“You know Peter?” I blurted, immediately feeling stupid for asking such a question. Of course, she knew Peter, they were all friends.
“Peter's my brother,” Anne clarified.
“He is?” I asked searching Aaron's face for confirmation but his sunglasses got in the way, so I looked back at Anne taking in her dark hair and still finding it hard to believe that she and Peter were siblings.
“Truly,” she said touching her hair. “My mother was a brunette, but in the sunlight you can definitely see a hint of red. Now, can you stay for lunch?” Anne asked, changing the subject and looking at both of us for an answer. “Or do you have somewhere pressing to be?”
“Is it that time already?” I asked disbelievingly; finally understanding the connection between Anne and Aaron.
“Not quite, it's only half past eleven.”
I looked at Aaron, waiting for his cue, not sure what he'd planned on, but happy to do whatever he suggested.
“Sure, if it suits Krista.” Aaron turned and put the onus on to me.
“Yes, of course, I'd love to stay; as long as it's no trouble.”
Anne waved her hand. “It's settled then.” She smiled at both of us. “My husband, Paul, will be joining us. You two make yourselves comfortable in the parlour.”
“Are you sure I can't help?” I offered.
“Aren't you sweet? No, I have it all under control.” Anne turned to Aaron. “Would you mind watching Christina for me?” she said placing the little girl into Aaron's outstretched arms.
“Of course, come here you wee thing.” Aaron smiled widely at the little girl. Christina happily climbed into his arms and nestled her head into his shoulder.
If there was one trait I found endearing, it was a man who adored children, and it was obvious that Aaron was one who did.
“Oh, and Aaron, take off those sunglasses. You're starting to remind me of that bloke on that American crime show, and he drives me crazy.” Anne implored and turned back toward the kitchen humming a tune I did not recognize.
Almost on cue, Christina pulled away from Aaron's neck and snatched the sunglasses from his face, knocking them to the floor. Instinctively, we both bent down to pick them up, but as my hands were free, I was quicker and scooped them up, placing them into his open hand.
“Thanks,” Aaron laughed. “Silly monkey.” He tickled the child gently, and she giggled infectiously as only a child can.
For the first time since we met, our eyes locked and the smile faded from my face.
“My love for you transcends death,” echoed in my ears.
Thirty
By the time lunch was ready, I had spent an almost unbearable half-hour in the parlour. Fortunately, Christina had kept me occupied playing and entertaining her, and I pretended that she had my complete undivided attention especially whenever Aaron spoke to me. It was much easier keeping my gaze fixed on Christina than looking at him. Soon though, we would be spending the rest of the day together and though the thought of feigning illness did cross my mind, it was short-lived.
Lunch was no better as the distraction of others was barely enough to keep my mind engaged. Each time Aaron addressed me, it felt as though my soul was going to jump out of my body. I avoided eye contact whenever possible, though it's certain he knew something was wrong, he'd already admitted to noticing my transparency.
The moment finally came when I saw an opening for escape and excused myself, heading directly up to my room, I desperately needed some time alone before we headed out for the afternoon. If spending time together was ever going to work, I needed a plan.
“It can't be.” I said incredulously. “How is it even possible?” I questioned myself, pacing back and forth at the end of the bed. “How is any of this possible?”
I threw my hands up in the air and tilted my head up toward the ceiling waiting for an answer before finally throwing myself face down on the bed, exasperated. My jumbled thoughts raced in my head, trying to work out some sort of solution. My subconscious, or at least that's what I assumed it was, screamed unintelligible words at me. Rolling on to my back, I covered my face with my hands and waited, quieting my mind, hoping the part of me that was Mary would tell me what to do, but there was nothing. Frustrated, I sat up.
“Krista, are you alright?” Anne's voice called through the door as she knocked somewhat anxiously.
My absence had been far too long, and apparently, a waste of time too, as there still was no plan. I took a deep breath, smiling at myself in the mirror across from where I sat. So, this is how it's going to be. Apparently, I was on my own and somehow I would have to pull off the best acting I'd ever done.
I shook my head. Nope it's not going to work. I sighed quietly and rose from the bed, stepping toward the door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before pulling open the door and looking into Anne's concerned face. “Hi! I just needed to go through my bag to uh…” What am I going to say? “You know –”
Anne smiled and nodded. “It never fails to arrive when you have plans, does it?”
Yes! I celebrated inwardly. I lied without actually saying anything; Anne came up with a pretense for me. If there was one thing a woman could put blame on and get away with pretty much anything she said, did, or felt; it was getting her period – the almost perfect excuse.
“You're right about that.” I smiled and pulled the door closed behind me.
“So are you ready for your adventure?” Anne said, leading the way down the stairs.
I smiled and followed along behind her, all the while my thoughts continued to roll through my mind. This was more than an adventure, it was turning into a journey of the soul. Somehow, I was going to have to complete it unscathed. As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Aaron and Paul stood waiting by the door, it was time for us to be leaving.
“All set?” Aaron asked. He'd put his sunglasses back on and a great sense of relief washed over me, it was much easier looking at him without seeing him looking back.
“Yes, good to go.” I smiled; excitement and nervousness surged through my veins.
“Thanks for a fantastic lunch, Anne.” Aaron reached over and hugged her, my heart lurched, and I cautiously shook my head, hoping no one noticed.
“Have a great afternoon,” Anne said as she gave me a hug. “You'll have to tell me all about it when you get back this evening.”
“Speaking about that,” Paul said reaching into his pocket, “here's a key just in case you get in late.” He handed me a golden coloured key, and I put it in my pocket.
“Thanks again for lunch.” I turned to follow Aaron who was waiting for me on the walk outside. We both waved bye as Anne closed the door.
&n
bsp; “What was that all about?” Aaron said as we headed toward the car.
Oh no! Has my face betrayed me again? I can't explain things to him now. I can't even begin to put into words what I can barely understand myself. He'll think I'm crazy. “What do you mean?” I felt my stomach turn with worry.
Aaron opened the car door for me and I climbed in, my mind racing. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he walked around to his side of the car and opened the door.
“I mean with Anne,” he said as he eased himself into the car.
Relief flooded over me, replacing my worry with confusion, Anne was someone I felt I could be friends with for a long time.
“I'm not sure I understand what you mean.”
Aaron laughed at me as he started the car and pulled away from the curb. “I just meant you acted as though you've been dear friends all your lives. Anne's a fantastic girl, but she doesn't necessarily warm up to people that quickly. You must have said something to impress her.”
“I guess I just have a way with people.” I smiled as my heart rate slowed.
“I guess so.” Aaron looked at me briefly and smiled back, warmth rose in my face. The blush, I was certain, covered me like a warm blanket as my blood pulsed through me.
At that moment, I wanted him to take off his sunglasses and look at me – through me – and really see me. I wanted him to understand what I was beginning to understand, and feel what I was feeling. Though what that was exactly, I wasn't quite sure since we'd only just met. If it was love at first sight, it wasn't something I ever dreamed would happen to me – that was reserved for fairy tales and Hollywood movies.
I stared at him as we drove through the streets, watching his every move, not caring if he caught me. Taking him in with my eyes was all I could do. My entire body tingled and I squirmed uncomfortably. The seat belt suddenly became too confining. My mind wandered, as did my eyes, scanning every inch of him. Good thing you're driving, because if you weren't… Whoa! What am I thinking? I silently questioned, surprised by my thoughts – if they were mine. At Anne's house, I had been beside myself wondering how to handle being alone with him all afternoon, and now I was ready to pounce. Maybe because his sunglasses shielded his eyes, it made me braver, unafraid of our eyes locking. It was all so confusing. One moment, I wanted our eyes to meet, for him to see through me – find out my secret, yet the next moment, the idea had me panicked. Isn't this what I want? Isn't this the whole point? How can I ever tell him without him thinking I'm crazy? The questions themselves were already driving me crazy, and it wasn't my intention to scare him away. Somehow, he would have to be convinced, and in some way, I was going to have to look at those eyes again. He wouldn't be wearing those sunglasses forever.
“So what would you like to do?”
I jumped, even though I was watching him the whole time. “What?” I asked, my heart thumping in my ears.
“Perhaps if your ear was turned toward me instead of your eyes you'd have heard. Why are you staring at me anyway – is there something on my face?” Aaron instinctively raised his hand to wipe away whatever phantom bits of dirt he thought lay on his cheek.
“Sorry, you're just really…” Oh God! Am I actually about to say what I think I am? “Handsome.” Yup! I averted my gaze for the first time and looked out the window, completely embarrassed by my lack of formality.
He laughed, “You're not so bad yourself.” Absently he reached over and patted my hand, sending shivers up my spine.
We pulled up to a traffic light and looked at each other, bursting out into laughter, the tension in the air disappeared. Once we settled down, the light turned green again, and we continued the drive.
I gazed at the sights as we drove along. “Where are we going anyway?” I asked.
“What would you like to see?”
It took no thinking at all to know where I wanted to go, I knew it exactly – it was almost instinctual.
“Can we go to the docks?”
Aaron looked at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road ahead. “The docks?”
I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try. “Yeah, I'm kind of interested in the whole emigration thing, you know back in the day.” It sounded strange even to me, but there was no way to explain it. The desire to go there was strong, if not a bit unnerving.
“It's not exactly quite the same, you know.”
“I… I know. I just want to see.”
“Any particular one?”
I shook my head, I had no idea which one, but I didn't care, any would be fine. “No.”
“The docklands it is then, but it may take some time getting there, we may even have to walk a bit.” Aaron pulled out his cell phone as we pulled up to another traffic light.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Well, if you want to see the docks, then I'll have to book us a parking space.”
“What?”
“If you haven't noticed, parking is a bit difficult.” Aaron continued to search his phone. “Ah, got one.” Just then, the light turned green.
We battled our way through the streets and traffic before pulling up to the gates. Aaron punched in a security code, the gates opened and we drove through.
“Here we are,” Aaron said, pulling in to our spot and unbuckling his belt.
“Here,” I said handing him a few pounds, “will this cover it?”
Aaron smiled, “For about an hour.”
“That's fine; I don't need much more than that.” I unbuckled my own belt, got out of the car, and closed the door behind me. Standing there, my eyes scanned the surroundings. We walked for a bit before coming to one of the docking areas. Aaron was right of course, it had changed. There wasn't a thing about that place that was even remotely recognizable. I thought being there might conjure up more memories, but there was nothing. It was as if I had never been there before, which of course was true, I had never been there – but Mary had. I only wish I knew just where exactly. My body turned in a small circle; still, nothing caught my eye.
“Do you want to keep looking around?” Aaron looked at his watch.
I sensed he was a little puzzled by my apparent indecision. Not knowing quite sure of what to say, I opted for the truth.
“You were right, it isn't the same. Can we go?” I'm sure my sudden change of heart caught him off guard. Of course, it was hard to tell since his sunglasses blocked me from at least attempting to read his true feelings.
“We can do whatever you like.” Even his tone gave nothing away. If it were me, I would have been a tiny bit annoyed after driving out there only to leave moments later. However, not Aaron, he was indifferent.
We walked silently, for the most part, back to the parking spot. I took one final look around and got back in the car – somewhat disappointed in myself, and rather relieved. “Sorry,” I said, buckling my belt. “It's just that… it's not what I thought it would be.”
“No worries,” he said starting the car. “Before we go anywhere else though, I should give you this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black, leather wallet. He searched it diligently before coming up with what he was looking for. “Here.” He handed me a card.
“What is it?”
“It's your London Pass.”
“Oh! I forgot you mentioned this.” I took the card and put it in my wallet, still feeling a little disappointed and perhaps embarrassed about the docks. I so hoped that seeing the place where Mary emigrated from would help me to remember more about her life. We sat quietly, the only sound around us coming from the engine of the car.
“I have an idea that might help you to visualise life from the viewpoint of an emigrant.”
I perked up a bit intrigued by his idea. The look on my face, of course, must have been all telling as he proceeded to explain in more detail.
“I know you're not very fond of boats.”
“How did you –”
“Peter told me.”
“Oh.”
�
�If you want, we can take a boat cruise of the Thames. It's one of the best ways to get a glimpse of the sights we'll be visiting and some we won't.”
“Yes,” I said without hesitating, surprising even myself. Aaron was right; boats weren't my favourite, but it could be what was needed to finally get over my phobia. I needed to be where my dreams and memories began.
“Right, it's settled then.” Aaron smiled at me as we pulled out from our parking space.
Before long, we were boarding a boat that promised great views of the city, yet I could think only of being on the water. As the boat pulled away from the dock, a flashback hit me. I gripped the edge of my seat, closed my eyes, and shuddered. An arm wrapped around my shoulder but instead of making me feel uncomfortable, I relaxed instantly.
“Would you like to change seats?” Aaron asked.
I had insisted on sitting at the open window seat, so I could look out over the water. I shook my head as Aaron released his grip.
My eyes were focused on the surface of the water, but occasionally, I looked away whenever Aaron's voice filtered through the echoes from the past that flooded my ears.
“Are you all right?” The concern in his voice was very evident.
I turned to look at him, surprised to find that he had taken off his sunglasses. “Yes, fine.” I quickly looked away, unable to bear looking at him for even a second.
Aaron reached around, placed his hand under my chin, and gently coaxed me to face him. If it had been anyone else, I would have slapped his hand away. I closed my eyes.
“Why are you crying?” His hand gently stroked my cheek.
Surprised by his observation, I reached up with my own hand and felt moisture on my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked at my fingers and sure enough, they were wet with my tears.
“I don't know,” I said staring at my hand. “Maybe dust or something blew into my eyes.”
Aaron lifted my chin so that my eyes looked directly into his; quickly I closed them again.
“Open your eyes, and let me take a look.”
“No, it's okay. I'm sure it'll be fine.”
Promised Soul Page 18
