by S. M. Shade
“Okay, buddy,” I say, taking him back to the nursery. “Here’s the deal. I’m going to change your wet butt, and then you get the food. Sorry, but you’re stuck with a bottle because I’ve reclaimed your mom’s boobs.”
“Jeremy,” Melissa calls out with a laugh. “I can hear you on the monitor.”
Shit. I forgot about that. “Well, stop eavesdropping. This is a father son conversation.”
Bright blue eyes gaze up at me like I’m the most fascinating thing they’ve ever seen while I undo his sleeper. Why do they make these things so confusing? It buttons up one leg. Why don’t they just make human clothing for babies? I’ve never owned a pair of pants that button up one leg.
I manage to get the sleeper off him, and he starts crying again. “Someday, you’re going to appreciate how great it feels to be naked.” After I started in the hospital, talking to him just became a habit. I know he doesn’t understand, but he seems to like the sound of my voice.
I unfasten the diaper, happy to see he hasn’t shit as well. Baby shit is a whole new level of disgusting. Green or yellow and runny. Ugh.
I take off the diaper and grab a wipe to clean him up. Before I get a chance to touch him, I get hit right in the eye with a surprisingly powerful stream of baby piss. It burns like fire so of course, I yell, which just allows it to get in my mouth too.
“What?” Melissa steps in the room.
“He pissed on me.”
She bursts into laughter as I spit and sputter. She grabs a diaper and lays it over the top of him in case he goes again. “Where are you going?”
“To rinse my mouth! It hit my tongue.”
When I come back from the bathroom, she’s still laughing, and C.J. is dressed in his sleeper. “Why did you strip him? Babies pee when they get cold.”
None of the books warned me of that.
“I had to get the diaper off,” I defend.
“Look.” She patiently shows me how to remove only the bottom part of his sleeper. “That’s why they’re made like this, to make diaper changes easier.”
Well, I’ll be damned. “There’s a real learning curve to this.”
Cuddling him close, she drops a kiss on my lips. “We’ll figure it out together.”
A knock on the door reminds me I’m waiting for a delivery. “Yeah,” the guy says, when I open the door. “Delivery for Jeremy Martin. The note on the porch next door said to come over here.”
“Thank you. The front door is unlocked. If you could just leave it in the foyer, I’d really appreciate it.” I hand him a sizable tip.
“Sure, no problem. Have a good day.”
Mel looks out the front window and asks, “Why is there a Lindon Gallery truck here? I’m not having anything picked up today.”
“I’m having something delivered.” She stares at me as I sit on the couch. “I bought a painting from this incredibly talented artist during an exhibition a few months ago. I would’ve bought more, but they’d all sold out, except for one.”
Her mouth falls open, and she puts Calvin in his bassinette. “You bought Mistake?”
“I did.” I look up at her as she stands in front of me. “And I hope that title isn’t true anymore.”
Her face softens, and she sits down beside me. “You weren’t the mistake, Jeremy. That morning after you thought we slept together, the way you looked at me and how that made me feel, that’s what produced that painting. I was the mistake.”
I’ll never be able to look at that painting again without it tearing my heart out. I pull her into my arms. “You could never be a mistake. I’m so sorry. I was real messed up.”
“I know. I forgave you for that a long time ago.” Her deep blue eyes connect with mine. “I’m glad you bought it. I didn’t want to let it go to a stranger.”
We cuddle for a bit, then Melissa makes dinner while C.J. sleeps on my chest. He’s going to be spoiled with us always holding him, but if anyone deserves some extra love and spoiling, it’s him, after all he went through.
He sleeps in the bassinette beside the couch while we eat, then get ready to watch the newest episode of Dark and Unsolved.
Mel throws her legs over mine, and lays back on the couch. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
“Hmm?” I rub my hand up and down her smooth leg.
“I know we agreed to move in together, but we didn’t decide where. I think we should move to Indianapolis.”
I’ve been trying to find a way to suggest that, but I know she loves this house, and that she has a connection with the Lindon Gallery. “I didn’t think you’d want to leave here.”
She tilts her head against the back of the couch. “The only other friend I had here was Agnes, and she moved to Florida. Your family is in Indiana, and I want Calvin to have family around him.”
I rub her feet, and she groans with pleasure. “They’re your family too. And I’d love to move back if that’s what you want. What about your sister?”
Kelly was due to transition out of the psych ward this week, but we got the news a few days ago that she ran. The cult really screwed her up, and therapy wasn’t successful in convincing her they were wrong. She needs long term help, but she’s an adult, and was found not to be a danger to herself or others so it’s nothing we can force.
Melissa sighs, and runs a hand across her forehead. “We don’t know where she is, and she doesn’t trust me. I’ll make sure my information is always public, so she can find me. And I thought maybe I could hire a private detective to find her, just to see if she’s all right, if she doesn’t turn up soon. That doesn’t mean I need to stay here.”
“We’ll find her. When were you thinking of making the move?”
“Does a few months sound good? I’d like Calvin to keep the doctors he’s had for a few more months. And it’d give us time to find a house.” She smiles. “I love the lake, but if we could find a place with any kind of nature around it, I’d be happy. Fields, a forest, whatever. I know we’d have to look outside the city, but—”
“I know a place. Tucker and Leah live on a farm and the land adjoining it has been up for sale for a while. It’s wooded and peaceful. We could build our dream home, and you’d have Leah right next door.”
Melissa squeals and vaults into my lap. “That’s perfect!”
Calvin isn’t a fan of her loud enthusiasm and lets out a wail.
“Aw, I’m sorry Cal-bear. Mommy scared you, huh?” She comforts him, then scoops him up. “He’s wet.”
“I’ve got him.”
She hands him over. “Are you sure? Better keep your mouth closed this time.”
“Uh-huh, keep running your smart mouth and I’m going to put it to good use.”
“You know that’s a reward, not a threat, right?”
I’m going to marry this woman. That is, if the next few hours go right.
I have no trouble getting his diaper changed this time and he doesn’t even fuss as I grab a nearby marker. I write a message on his little white undershirt and button him back up. I know she’s going to give him a bath soon, and my nerves are shot to hell.
After an agonizing hour, she finally throws a towel over the dining table, and fills his plastic baby bath with warm water. She’s not paying any attention to me as I walk around to stand behind her.
She unbuttons his sleeper and gasps. When she turns around, I’m on one knee, and hopefully she can’t see I’m shaking.
“Melissa, I know we haven’t been together long, but I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I’m not good at speeches and stuff like that, so all I can say is I love you and I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?”
Tears spill over her cheeks. “Yes. I’ve never been so sure of anything either. I’d love to be your wife.”
I slip the ring on her finger and pull her into my arms, kissing her for what seems like forever.
“I love you,” she murmurs, when we break apart.
“I love you too.”
C.J. g
ives out an indignant wail. He doesn’t appreciate being forgotten half-naked on the towel. Melissa and I laugh, and she turns to him.
“Someday, I’m going to tell you about all of this,” she promises him.
Epilogue
Melissa
“Quit freaking out. You look amazing. And Jeremy would marry you if you were wearing a burlap bag,” Ayda says, adjusting the back of my wedding dress.
Ayda is one of the ISH guys’ wives I didn’t get to meet in Illinois, but we’ve become fast friends over the last year. The same goes for Sadie, Justus’s wife. I’ve grown to love them all like sisters. My real sister has never gotten in touch, and the last I heard of her, she was boarding a plane to Hawaii with some self-professed New Age healer. At least Jeremy and the guys managed to get her money back to her, along with all the other ex-followers of True Life.
“No! Don’t touch!” I hear Justus call from the next room. “I said don’t touch, not rub it into the carpet. Come on, let’s wash your hands.”
Leah and I glance at one another and burst out laughing. When Justus volunteered to keep an eye on Calvin, he didn’t know what he was in for. At fourteen months old, he’s quick on his feet and puts his hands anywhere there’s an open spot. All cabinets must be opened, all curtains peeked behind, all tables crawled under. Nothing can be left unexplored by his curious little self. In other words, he’s an absolute joy.
His hard beginning doesn’t seem to have affected his development much. Although he’s a little behind the weight and height average, his doctors assure me he’ll catch up.
“Da!” I hear him cry, followed by Jeremy’s voice.
“What are you into now, huh?”
I peek around the corner just in time to see him scoop him up and toss him in the air. Calvin squeals with laughter, and the way he looks at Jeremy when he puts him on his hip says it all. Jeremy’s prediction that he was a mama’s boy was way off. He idolizes him, and follows him constantly, trying to mimic whatever Jeremy is doing.
Jeremy is an amazing father, and now, he’s going to be my husband as well.
And a damned gorgeous one.
He’s wearing a dark, three-piece suit, and there’s never been a man who could wear it better. The other ISH guys are gathered around, all wearing suits as well, and the women look amazing in their dresses.
When Jeremy and I discussed what kind of wedding we wanted, we were thrilled to find we had the same outlook on it. It’s sort of a thing with these guys to have outrageous weddings in weird places, so they’re expecting us to try to top theirs.
Landon and Zoe married at a Western theme park, Dare and Ayda married in a graveyard with everyone dressed as zombies, Justus and Sadie wed in a hot air balloon floating over Lake Tahoe, and Tucker and Leah jumped out of a freaking plane. The pressure is high, especially since we won’t tell them where we’re going to do it. We’ve gotten a lot of joy out of watching them guess and knowing the truth.
So, the whole group is gathered here, dressed up and waiting.
Finally, two limos pull up out front and Jeremy announces. “Pick a limo, they’re both going to the same place.”
“Where?” Justus calls out.
“The wedding,” I reply.
“Damn it, Baby Mama.”
“He’s over a year old, Justus. How long is that nickname going to stick?”
Justus flashes me a grin. “You’re always going to be his baby mama.”
Everyone piles into the limos, and Jeremy has a quick word with both drivers before we take off. Tucker, Leah, Justus, and Sadie ride with us. And Calvin, of course.
Jeremy shoves Justus over another seat. “Two limos to choose from and you had to ride with us,” he teases.
“Hey, my little man Cal insisted. He loves his Uncle Justus. I’m his favorite.” He turns to me. “Tell him, Mel.”
“Calvin loves all of you,” I say, looking between them. “Just like I do.”
“You love me best too, though. We just can’t let Jeremy know,” he mock whispers.
Sadie elbows him in the side. “Shh. It’s their wedding day. Just for once, behave yourself.”
“Yes, dear.” Justus gives Sadie an over the top grin. She shakes her head in exasperation, but her lips tilt up. Justus is a great guy, but I don’t know how she does it. He’s exhausting.
The limos pull up at our destination, and a snort of laughter rings out from Tucker. Justus’s mouth drops open. “All that preparation and this is where you’re doing it?”
“Yep. Seemed like a good place,” Jeremy replies, meeting my eyes with a smirk.
We get out of the limo just as Landon is climbing out of the other one. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Landon cries out. He’s managed to get his protective jumpsuit on over his suit, and his voice is a bit muffled from the mask.
“Our appointment is for eleven. Let’s go!” Jeremy calls.
Laughing, we walk hand in hand into the Marion County Courthouse.
The quick ceremony is performed by a judge in a room with more wood paneling than I’ve ever seen in my life. Despite our decision to do this the easiest, quickest way, we did write some short vows.
Our friends stand around us in a semicircle, with Calvin squirming in Justus’s arms, while Jeremy faces me.
“I was in such a dark place before I met you, Melissa. To me, the whole world was just a terrible place that held nothing for me. You.” He glances toward our son. “And C.J opened my eyes to the truth. The world is a terrible place, randomly speckled with beauty. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you have to grab those beautiful moments and make all you can of them, because they don't last. You're my speck of beauty, Melissa. I promise to love and protect you and our family for the rest of my life.”
It takes me a moment to get control of myself. The tears running down my face try to turn to sobs, but I swallow them down and look into those soft brown eyes.
“The first time we met, I hated you. The second time wasn’t any better.” Jeremy smirks, and I hear random chuckles from the others. “It took a while for you to let me see the real you, and once I did, I was helpless against him. I’ve never met a man as loving, compassionate, and caring. I don’t think you realize how much you did for me, or what it meant to me at the time. Because of you I wasn’t alone for our baby’s first kick, the birthing classes, and the terrifying months he spent in the hospital. You were there. You were my strength. I promise to be your strength whenever you need it and to love you for the rest of my life.”
My gaze never breaks from his while the judge finishes the ceremony and we both say, “I do.”
Zoe takes a picture just as we seal our vows with a kiss, and I know just where it’s going to be displayed. I’ll hang it above our bed, right next to the glass frame that holds a tiny white undershirt with the words “Will you marry my daddy?” scrawled in blue marker.
When we leave the courthouse, everyone is laughing and talking, and strangers stop to congratulate us.
“Seriously, why the courthouse?” Dare asks.
I grin at Jeremy, letting him answer for us.
“We don’t need a fancy party or a crazy story to tell. Our story is crazy enough. We just wanted it official.”
Dare nods and wraps his arm around Ayda.
“The reception is at Zoe’s place!” Jeremy calls out as we head back to the limos.
“You mean my place,” Landon says.
“Now, we all know who wears the pants in your house, man,” Dare says.
“The non-reflective ones anyway,” Justus quips, teasing him over his jumpsuit. Just before we make it to the limos, Justus asks, “So, where’s your honeymoon going to be after all this splendor? The public pool? Maybe that by-the-hour motel on main?”
Calvin squirms and tries to dive out of Justus’s arms to get to Jeremy. As Justus hands him over, a wide smile inches across Jeremy’s face. “Oh, didn’t Sadie tell you? We’re booked to leave for two weeks in Bora Bora next month. Sadie volunte
ered to keep Calvin. She said you need some practice before you try for your own.”
Justus’s eyes try to escape his head as it whips around to his wife. “What? He’s full of shit, right?”
Sadie grins and walks around the limo.
“Sadist? He’s lying right?”
Jeremy wraps his arm around my shoulder, and we watch Justus freak out as Sadie climbs in the limo. He rushes to jump in the other side.
Jeremy leans down to kiss me, and I whisper, “Zoe is keeping him, and it’s only a week.”
Jeremy chuckles. “Hmm, must’ve mixed that up.”
I swear, these guys make my life so interesting. I never even imagined a group like In Safe Hands existed, but now, I can’t imagine living without these amazing people. They tease and torture each other, but there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for each other. For family.
My new family.
THE END
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Acknowledgements
I’ve learned something writing this book. I can’t write asshole guys because they just turn into sweethearts. Jeremy took me longer to write than any of my other books. After the events at the end of Tucker, I needed Jeremy to get his HEA and I couldn’t wait to give it to him, but I knew it would take a pretty special character to win his heart after such a loss.
I want to start by saying thank you to the readers, who waited patiently for this book as I revised, started over, and tried not to throw myself off a bridge at several points. Whenever I was really frustrated with trying to wrap up not only Jeremy’s story, but the ISH Series, I’d get another message, another reader asking, “Where’s Jeremy? When do we get Jeremy?” It motivated me to keep trying and to get it right.
