He blinked. His glance darted around the empty rink then his smile came back full force. “Good. Ready to try again?”
Still wobbly, she followed his instructions on how to push off and move by alternating her feet a little. He even got her to lift one foot then the other.
On the next time across the rink he convinced her to try on her own.
She lasted less than three seconds and gasped as she lost her balance.
Jolar caught her in his arms.
Enfolded against his broad chest, his smiling mouth only a few inches away from hers, Arissa could do nothing but look wide-eyed up at him as they floated slowly across the rink. It felt so good to be held against him and she was so aware of his body, the warm male scent of him, her skin tingled.
“You okay?” he asked, bending down a little more to look into her face, his blue eyes amused.
Her hands were resting on his strong shoulders and she wished more than anything he would lean down just a little bit more and kiss her.
Gods, I’m going to make a complete fool of myself.
“Yes,” she said, quickly dropping her gaze. But that had her looking right at the hollow of his throat and she had an impulse to touch her mouth to the warm golden skin there. She twisted her head away.
“I think,” she began, unable even to meet his eye, embarrassed at how breathless she sounded. “I’ve had enough airskating for today.”
He laughed. “Okay.”
He got her steadied and helped her out of the rink.
He took his airskates off and knelt down to unfasten hers. “We should probably go get ready for dinner now anyway.”
“Right.” She was nervous about having to eat with strangers, having to hold a conversation without revealing herself.
“You did much better at lunch today,” he assured, accurately reading her expression as he helped her get the skates off. “You were perfect.”
“That was different. That was just you.”
“You’re going to do fine.” He stood. “Come on, we don’t want miss our seating.”
The dark clothes he changed into were more formal tonight and she wore one of the gowns he’d chosen for her. This dress showed more skin than the green one she’d worn the night before but she liked how the shimmersilk went from orange at the hem, then subtly changed in color up the skirt to a light, then dark blue, reaching indigo near her shoulders. Dozens of tiny jewels decorating the low cut bodice caught the light and sparkled like stars.
She put her hair half up and half down and clipped some tiny stones into her curls to continue the sparkle effect. She took her time to apply the shadow to her eyelids and was pleased how much better it looked this time.
Jolar smiled when he saw her.
“You look wonderful,” he said and offered his hand.
In her mind she suddenly saw him pull her against him, his warm, broad palm against her bare back to press her closer, his mouth hot and hungry on hers.
The image came out of nowhere and was so unexpected, so vivid, it sent a tightening rush of desire through her center.
Her face felt hot. “I’m think I’m pretty steady now that we’re out of the rink,” she managed.
His surprise pulsed and he dropped his hand. “Well, let’s go then.”
She wasn’t supposed to look impressed but it took a lot of effort to appear jaded as she took in the Queen’s Light dining room. The room was done in dark colors but elegantly so, with little pools of light over and around the tables. The musicians played softly enough that she could hear the murmur of conversation, the clinking of glass and silverware. Located in the bow of the ship, the transparent plexisteel walls rose three stories above her head and swept outward to give an absolutely breathtaking view of space.
“Wow,” Jolar murmured, craning his neck to see the view.
She shot him a narrow look. “Legan,” she said to the hostess.
The woman nodded and led them into the dining room.
There were eight already assembled at the table—she and Jolar would be taking the last two seats. Jolar held her chair for her and then took his place on the opposite side, farther down the table.
The slender woman beside him instant brightened, vibrating with interest. Jolar gave the woman a slow smile and Arissa pushed down a sudden impulse to hurl her soup spoon at the woman’s head.
“I’m Lian,” the man at her side said, offering his hand. He was an attractive man, with dark hair and eyes to match. He nodded to the striking redhead across the table. “That’s Kemma.” The woman gave her a friendly smile. “That’s, uh—”
“Kelm,” the young man said with a smile and nod.
“Hi, I’m Sona,” the dark blonde girl next to her offered. She couldn’t be more than seventeen with a pert, freckled covered nose and a cute overbite. She nodded to the man on Kemma’s other side. “That’s my Dad.”
“You can call me Parlen,” the man said dryly putting his napkin in his lap, his thinning hair very obvious even in this light. “Rather than ‘Dad’.”
The group was friendly, smiling back at her expectantly.
“Oh! I’m Arissa,” she said suddenly realizing what they were waiting for. “Legan,” she added then flushed. No one else had offered their last name.
“First time to Sertar?” Kemma asked. “Or have you been before?”
“No, this is my first time.” There was a pause and Arissa quickly asked, “What about all of you?”
She scarcely heard their answers and took a quick sip of water against the sudden dryness of her mouth. She was too open and it left her feeling like she was lost in a tumultuous sea of emotion. Their conversation was buzzing around her.
Focus. Just pick one of them and focus.
Arissa looked up to see the redhead, Kemma, regarding her with a puzzled look.
“That’s a lovely gown,” Arissa said, narrowing her attention to just Kemma.
“Thank you.” The woman oscillated with surprise. “I just said the same about yours.”
“Oh.” Had she? The whole conversation was proving hard to follow around the jumble of emotions she sensed and nervousness knotting her stomach.
Kemma smiled kindly. “I guess we both have great taste.”
“I guess so.” She let her breath out when the waiter handed her a menu, happy to have something to do with her hands. It also occupied everyone else at the table and gave her a few moments to collect herself.
The waiter was taking drink orders and Arissa wet her lips. “Niman wine, uh, sweet.”
“I’m from Nima,” Kemma said, then gave a self-deprecating shrug. “As if it weren’t obvious.”
“I’ve never been there,” Sona put in. “What’s it like?”
Her father threw her a disapproving look.
“I’m just talking about the weather, Dad.”
Kemma’s smile didn’t falter but her green eyes cooled a little. “Lovely. The beaches of the southern continent are the most beautiful in the Realm.”
“Where are you from?” Lian asked Arissa. “You sound Apovian.”
“I grew up there but I live on Aylor now. I mean, my husband and I do. Actually, we just purchased a new house.”
“How exciting,” Kemma said. “Personally, I hate to move.”
“I don’t mind it so much,” Lian said.
“That’s because you leave everything to me,” Kemma said, with a look of amused exasperation.
“Oh,” Arissa said, looking between them. “Are you married?”
There was an awkward pause.
“Lian is,” Kemma said, giving a nod to the waiter as he placed her drink down. “I’m not. I’m an Ornament, under exclusive contract to Lian, actually.”
Then he was her protector. Arissa, who had spent her life hiding, who would have been hated and hunted on any world in the Realm, simply couldn’t summon any outrage or even disapproval.
And frack it, I like her.
“Well, I had to move us on my own once,” Ari
ssa said. “I vowed never to do it again. It was exhausting.”
Kemma’s smile returned. “Good for you.”
An Ornament from a planet known for it’s hedonistic, pleasure seeking ways—
that explains why Parlen didn’t want his daughter asking her about it.
“So what do you think of the Queen’s Light?” Lian asked.
“I’m happy to be here,” Arissa said. “Actually I had my first airskating lesson today so I’m happy to be anywhere outside the medcenter.”
They laughed and the warmth of it, the approval, encircled her. She smiled around at them.
“Hey, I love to airskate,” Sona protested. “It’s great exercise.”
“So is running from an enraged sular bull,” her father said wryly. “It’s not something everyone wants to do.”
“Great comparison, Dad,” Sona returned, rolling her eyes.
Blue eyes flashed her mind. Arissa glanced down the table at Jolar to see him looking back at her. She was suddenly so filled with longing to be alone together, just the two of them, far away from this ship, from everything, that she could hardly breathe—
Blinking and disconcerted, Arissa tore her gaze away. The waiter had brought her drink but she had never sampled wine before. She took a cautious sip and crinkled her nose a little. It wasn’t awful but it had sourness to it that she didn’t care for. She couldn’t imagine finishing the whole glass.
It was a juggling act, but she managed to keep up her part of the conversation, eat, and play her role. As she was finishing her baneberry sorbet she realized she’d actually enjoyed at least some of dinner. It made her think about what her life would be like after this.
To have friends, to make a home . . .
Parlen and Sona had already excused themselves but Lian turned a friendly smile to her as the waiter cleared away her dessert plate.
“Kemma and I are heading down to the Lightside casino after this, would either of you like to join us?”
Kelm nodded. “Sure. I’m not much of a gambler though.”
“Just do what Kemma does,” Lian said with an affectionate look her way. “The woman has the damnedest luck you ever saw.”
“What do you think Arissa?” Kemma asked. “Ladies against gentlemen? Loser buys breakfast tomorrow?”
“Some other time,” Jolar answered for her. He was standing at the back of her chair. “I’ve promised Arissa a walk around the ship.”
Jolar put his hand on her shoulder and the feel of his warm palm against her bare skin made her gasp.
Her face went hot at the surprised attention she drew to herself from the others at the table. She fumbled with her napkin and almost knocked over her wine glass in her hurry to rise.
His big body, radiating heat, was a scant inch from hers. She was so flustered by his nearness she barely managed a mumbled good-bye.
“Good evening,” Jolar said to their dinner companions, then quite deliberately took a step aside and motioned for her to precede him.
She turned toward the main decks. He put his hand out but didn’t touch her.
“No,” he said quietly. “Back to our suite.”
Determination pulsed from him. Anxiety rustled too and an undercurrent of something she couldn’t quite catch. She quickly went over the evening in her mind. It hadn’t been easy and it hadn’t always been fun but she thought she’d managed well enough tonight.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as the door of their suite slid shut behind him. “Was it the way I acted at dinner?”
“No, dinner was fine,” he said shortly. “But there’s something else we need to deal with, Arissa. And I don’t think this can wait any longer.”
“Oh,” she said, confused by his rapidly shifting emotions. “What is it?”
"You get rattled whenever I touch you, whenever I get near you. The tension is distracting, it’s obvious, and it's a problem. We need to look comfortable with each other. We have to look like husband and wife.” Jolar gave her a nod. “So we're going to take care of this and frack right now."
Nine
"What?' she breathed.
Jolar’s hot anticipation tingled around her. "Rule number one, Arissa, remember? What I say, when I say. Come on, now’s the time to let your Ornament skills shine.”
Her glance darted over him. She remembered the feel of his arms around her today, how desperately she wished he would kiss her, how much she had wanted to kiss him.
“You want to—?”
“Frack,” he said impatiently, already unfastening the collar of his shirt. “You know, join. Bedding. Sex.”
She knew.
Gods knew she wanted to.
She just had no idea how.
“Okay.” She swallowed, her heart thumping. “Um, what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” His confusion and aggravation crackled. “Why don’t you start by kissing me?”
She wet her lips and took a step closer to put her hands on his broad shoulders. The heat of his body radiated under her palms and through the fabric of her dress as his hands came to rest on her waist. Shyly she leaned forward into his warmth, into his wonderful scent and lifted her face. She touched her lips to his. They were soft and parted, as his breathing quickened, the hot waves of his desire curling around her. She closed her eyes, her mouth against his, and stayed there a moment before drawing back.
His frustration rustled, suspicion that she was toying with him like little spikes within it. "No, really kiss me."
She had certainly seen kisses done, in holos, seen couples entwined in Xan-Tellar. She’d read about them. She tried again and tilted her head more, pressing her mouth against his more firmly, parting her lips a little. She stayed longer this time, hoping he’d take the lead.
He scowled when she drew back. "What are you doing?"
"I’m trying.”
“Trying? Damn it, you've done this before, haven't you?" he demanded. "Fracked?"
Arissa shook her head.
“What?” His head snapped back. “Hold on. No, wait, you said—In Xan-Tellar you agreed to let me—You took the money! You aren't an Ornament?"
"N—no."
His shock reverberated as he stared at her. "What the hell were you going to do if I’d decided to collect that night? Just wing it?"
"Well, you've done all this before," she burst out. "I figured you would—would just do it."
"All this? You mean you’ve never—” He searched her face and blanched. “Nothing?" he asked hoarsely. "Not even kissed?"
Her throat tightened. She shook her head again.
“I never thought—” He let go and took a quick step back, looking badly shaken. “Arissa, I’m sorry. I can’t believe the way I just—” His eyes closed briefly, shame staining his sense. “Look, you don’t have to worry about anything—worry about me. I promise I won’t do anything like that again. And we’ll just . . . we’ll work around this some another way."
Her lower lip trembled. "You don't want to now?"
"That doesn't—” He ran his hand through his hair. “Gods, do you?"
"Yes. I mean—” Her face went hot and she stumbled over her words under his shocked gaze. “I know I'm not pretty and no one's ever—It's just I might not get another chance and you—Yes, I want to."
“Is that what you think?” He cupped her chin gently, tilting her face to look at her, his thumb lightly tracing the skin of her cheek.
"You’re hauntingly beautiful, Arissa," he said softly. He let her go, his regret deep and heavy. “And you need to wait ‘til the time is right for you. I promise there will be plenty of chances and many men who will want you.”
She gathered her courage. "Do you? Do you want me, Jolar?"
The heat in his eyes echoed his hot rush of hunger. "Yes, of course I do.”
"Then I don't want to wait.” She wet her lips. “I want it to be you first. Tonight."
His desire tingled around her. "Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“Will—will you?”
“Yes,” he said huskily.
Her brow creased. "You're nervous now. You weren’t nervous before."
He gave a short, shaky laugh. "Gods, I keep forgetting you can do that. Yes, I'm nervous. And even more now that you know I am."
"But why?"
He brushed a curl away from her temple, his fingers gently touching her cheek. "Because this is important. Because I want everything to be perfect for you."
"I don't need it to be perfect. I just—I want the first time to be with you. You—
you know the truth about me and you aren’t afraid anymore.”
His blue eyes were raw.
She gave a quick smile. "I'm nervous too." She wet her lips again. "Will it hurt?"
"It, um—" He cleared his throat. "I'll go real slow. Okay?"
"Okay."
"So," Arissa said after a long moment. "What do you want me to do?"
“Well, I think—I'm going to kiss you, all right?”
He lightly cupped her face in his hands and brought his mouth her hers, his lips soft and very gentle. He stayed like that for a moment, then he pressed forward just a little more, his tongue lightly touching, parting her lips a little, flicking the tiniest bit. Arissa clung to him, the currents of his arousal, his nervousness, his hunger moving around her.
He drew away a little to look into her eyes. “Was that all right?”
The question didn’t even make sense. His kiss was likely the most amazing thing she had ever felt. Her mouth was tingling from it. She couldn’t even form words to describe it.
He was still looking down at her questioningly. Mutely, she nodded.
“Do you want to keep going?”
She nodded again and looked at his mouth as he leaned closer, tilting her face up to meet him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and this time she let her lips part easily when he deepened the kiss. She clung to him as he explored, his arms going around her to draw her close.
He never stopped kissing her, her face, her eyelids, his touch gentle as he drew her into the bedroom. He carefully took the clips from her hair, threaded his fingers through her curls, his heart hammering under her hand when she put her palm to his chest.
The Seer Page 8
