by Alexie Aaron
“Cruella De Vil, comes to mind,” Ted answered.
“You’re so right,” Mia said. “How many more interviews are we going to have before I can get started?”
“The contractor, the tile man, and Ronald wants to add to his,” Ted said, tapping the schedule.
“These people, if I hadn’t seen the tile attack Ronald myself, I’d swear that the Malones staged all this for publicity.”
“They certainly aren’t shy. Did Audrey finish the title search yet?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you planning on cutting through into the hollow space in the basement tonight?” Ted asked.
“I’m not, but I’m not the boss. You have to ask Burt, but you can’t because he’s out renting a power saw.”
“I guess that answers my question,” Ted said, reaching an arm around and pulling Mia close to him. “I want you to be careful, Minnie Mouse. We don’t have Murphy here to watch your back spectrally.”
“That’s another thing,” Mia started, smacking her hand on the table before continuing, “Why is Murphy on a timeout?”
“Burt didn’t want him interfering with the actual haunt until we get all the mischief on film.”
“Saving our asses, he calls interfering? The man’s got some nerve,” Mia complained. “Let’s take away his iron vest, and then we’ll see what kind of tune he sings.”
“Tsk tsk, let’s not let Burt raise your blood pressure.”
Mia touched the top of Ted’s nose. “You’re the only one that can raise my blood pressure.”
“Me? Well, I’m shocked,” he teased. “I’m just your garden variety superhero. Nothing special.”
“I beg to differ,” Mia said, leaning in as something on the screen caught her attention. “Camera five, lower left. Do you see the shadow?”
Ted nodded, touching the com. “Mike, we have activity in the hall on the second story. A shadow moving along the east wall, over.”
Mia watched as Mike gave Cid the cut off sign. “Excuse me, Gail, but we have activity. Audrey, Cid, second floor. Hurry.”
Ted leaned forward and tapped the com. “No hurry, it’s moving at a snail’s pace, over.”
“I’m feeling my skin crawl, over,” Mike said.
Mia looked over at Ted and mouthed Cruella.
“Cid, I’m feeling some Blair Witch nausea starting. Can you steady the camera?” he asked.
“Sorry,” Cid replied, slowing his gate and using the focus to keep the investigators in view instead of running along with them.
Mia watched the monitor as Ted increased the size of camera five’s input. She saw the three investigators arrive. “Ted, can you zoom in on this area,” she asked circling the upper right corner of the feed without touching the screen.
Ted did as requested.
“Team, be advised that there is a manifesting entity to your right, ten feet down the hall. I’m getting a head and partial torso, over.”
Cid focused on the entity while Mike stationed himself to the right, still in camera shot, and held out the digital voice recorder. “Hello, I’m Mike from PEEPs. We’re here to help you. Can you tell me your name?”
The entity froze.
“Are you a former resident of this house?”
It slowly turned its head as if looking at something and then disappeared.
“Must have had a prior engagement,” Mike said looking at the camera.
Mia laughed before instructing through the mic, “Don’t give up. It was looking into the front bedroom. I suggest taking the PEEP show into there.”
Audrey, who was closest to the room, turned the knob and pushed the door inward, ducking down so the camera could take in any activity in the room as she entered.
Cid focused in on two entities standing near the window. Both were totally manifested males wearing checked suits of clothing. They seemed solid.
“Judging by the colorful outfits, I assume these characters have a lot of power. Be careful,” Mia warned.
Mike cleared his voice and asked, “Are you former residents of this house?”
The two entities turned their heads and stared at the investigators. One narrowed his eyes and said, “Go away. You’re not wanted here.”
“The owners of this house requested that we ask you why you’re here,” Mike stated firmly. He adjusted his stance to one of authority and waited.
Mike didn’t see the entity land the punch on his glass jaw. He just fell backwards. Audrey moved to catch him but was pulled away so hard she thought her arm was being ripped from the socket.
“We have a situation here,” Cid said.
Ted, who watched Mia arm herself and run off, replied, “Help is on the way. I advise whoever is still mobile to exit the room.”
Mia pounded up the stairs, jumping over the hand that reached out from the wall to trip her. She caught hold of the banister and used it to stabilize herself as she continued to climb. This time two hands shot out from the wall, just missing her as she twisted away.
“Ted, the fuckers aren’t playing nice. I suggest getting the others out of the house before someone gets hurt. Shit!” Mia saw five male entities move out of the walls down the corridor and face her.
“Explain shit,” Ted urged.
“I have an obstacle course in front of me. Do the owners have an attachment to the wallpaper in the hall?”
Gail, who had climbed in the back of the truck to see if she could make some moves on Ted, answered, “I hate the stuff.”
“Fire away, Annie,” Ted said.
Mia lifted the shotgun, took aim at the first entity and fired. She was rewarded with him screaming in agony before dissipating. The others stopped advancing but stayed their ground. Mia fired a shot between two of them, knowing the blast radius of the salt would hit them both. She didn’t wait to see the result, choosing instead to reload. The cries of pain indicated she had been successful. She looked up in time to see the last two entities disappear.
“Yes!” she exclaimed in triumph. “Ted, I got three of them. Two took off. Tell me what’s going on in the bedroom.”
“Audrey is in a compromising position. She’s kicking but not connecting. Mike’s down, and Cid’s backing out the door.”
“I see him,” Mia said, rounding the corridor. “Cid, put the camera down, I haven’t combed my hair,” she said as she pushed past him into the room.
The entity holding Audrey against the wall turned and looked down at Mia. He smirked.
Mia didn’t like smirking males. She would have shot him, but Audrey would have gotten a face full of rock salt. Instead, Mia reached inside her hoodie and came out with a handful of salt throwing stars Tonia, the spirit tracker, had left at the farmhouse. Mia tossed the star Frisbee style and connected with the stomach of the entity. The expression on his face was one of surprised horror. He disappeared before he could utter a sound.
“Mia, behind you!” Audrey warned.
Mia spun and fired the shotgun, aiming high, hoping not to impact Cid who had crawled into the room and was trying to drag Mike out of harm’s way.
“You Bitch!” the ghost screamed when the top half of his head was taken off in the blast. It turned and came at her.
Mia fired the second round and caught him full in the stomach. “Bye bye, Birdie,” she said, watching the rest of the ghost disappear.
Audrey rushed over to help Cid carry the unconscious Mike. Mia reloaded and walked out into the hall. She looked both ways before stepping back to allow them to enter. “There’s still one at large,” she warned. “The ones I shot will come back, but I don’t know how long they will take. It depends on where their bodies are.”
“What does she mean, the ghosts will come back?” Gail asked.
“They’re not destroyed. Like in a video game, they have to go back to start. In their case to build up energy.”
“And how do they do that?”
“They will return to their graves or whatever is fueling them,” Ted said and
prepared to explain how sometimes a ghost was fueled by an object that had been near and dear to them in life.
“Are there bodies in my house?” Gail asked him.
“There’s something powering these ghosts,” he replied. “Experience tells us that most need at least a few bones to have the power to manifest. Although, we could be dealing with something else. Excuse me,” he said, opening the mic. “Pumpkin, hand the shotgun to Audrey. She’s not strong enough, and Mike’s head is dragging on the carpet.”
Mia did as Ted suggested. She followed Cid who had Mike’s legs. Audrey nervously scanned the hall behind them before following the rescuers down the hall.
Cid stopped and put Mike over his shoulder. Mia waited for Audrey. “Stick with me. There was some horseplay on the stairs on my way up,” she cautioned.
The two women followed Cid down the stairs without incident. Mia stopped to shove the shotgun down the middle of her back and hide it with her hoodie.
Ronald and the tile contractor met Cid on the porch. They relieved him of his burden.
“Ted says the ambulance is on the way,” Ronald informed them.
The tile guy, who had some emergency training, looked at the contusion that was filling the lower left of Mike’s face and reported, “I think his jaw might be busted.”
“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you guys that I wouldn’t venture in there alone if I were you,” Mia warned.
“I’ve seen some pretty spooky things in my day, Miss, but nothing ever attacked me,” the tile contractor admitted.
“Did any of you leave anything in there that you need tonight: wallet, keys, cellphone?” Audrey asked.
“No!” the men chorused.
They heard a siren as they reached the edge of the property.
“The EMTs are going to be pissed we moved this fella,” the contractor informed them.
“I’ll take the heat,” Mia offered.
“My house, my heat,” Ronald insisted.
Mia was starting to warm up to the homeowner. She stood aside as the EMTs rushed over to assess the situation, keeping her back and the stowed shotgun away from the paramedics.
“Mia,” Ted hissed in her ear. “Cougar attack imminent.”
“Excuse me,” Mia said as she turned and ran to the truck.
Gail had Ted pinned to the back wall of the truck by the time Mia arrived.
“I suggest you get your hands off of my husband,” Mia growled.
“Your husband? You’ve got to be kidding. He couldn’t be more than nineteen, twenty at best,” Gail scoffed.
“Back in the hills, we marry at thirteen,” Mia lied and raised the empty shotgun at the woman. “And unless you want to digest buckshot for the next month, you’ll back away from my man.”
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t know he was taken,” Gail said as she scooted by Mia and exited the command center, leaving a wake of cigarette odor behind her.
Mia tossed the empty gun in the bin marked Wallpaper Shredder on her way to calm Ted. “Did that old witch scare you, Teddy Bear?”
“I was trying to maintain my professionalism and be a gentleman. I argued that I wasn’t interested, but the woman had me backed into the corner.”
Mia opened her arms. “Come here, I’ll make everything better.”
Ted smiled at her crookedly. “I’m sure you will, but somehow I think I’ve just exchanged one fire for another.”
“Could be.”
“Ted,” Cid’s voice came over the speakers. “Mike’s headed over to Green Ridge. Audrey’s going with him.”
“Thanks for the info.”
“I guess I better go out there and help Cid,” Mia said. “If I come back and you smell like stale cigarettes, I’m going to be pissed.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ted said, sitting back down at the desk.
Mia watched him a moment as he brought up all the feeds. She didn’t think he looked like a teenager. He dressed like one. People assumed a lot from what you were wearing. She could only imagine what women thought of her, dressed in cargos and a hoodie and combat boots. Could her godfather Ralph be right? Perhaps it was time for Mia and Ted to reexamine their wardrobes.
The ambulance left with lights flashing. Mia walked over and listened in on what Cid was saying.
“I recommend that you find another place to sleep until we can resolve this situation. The house is not safe. I also feel strongly that renovation must discontinue until we can find the source of the disturbance,” he stressed.
“I agree with him,” Mia said, looking first at Ronald and then at his wife who wouldn’t make eye contact with her. “We’ll keep a team here at all times to monitor the house,” she promised.
“Sounds fair. Gail, let’s get moving. I’d like to get to the hotel in time for Love It or List It.”
Gail nodded and followed him to the Bentley parked at the bottom of the drive.
The tile contractor stopped and said, “You guys take care. I got me a bad feeling about that place. The moment I walked in there, I felt that I was being watched.”
“Thank you, sir, I appreciate your concern,” Mia said nicely. “Can I ask you a question, off the record?”
“Sure.”
“Gail hit on you?”
“She cornered me in the powder room. That woman needs her hormones adjusted.”
“She better lay off or I’ll adjust more than her hormones for her,” Mia growled.
“You do that,” he said, looking down at the fierce ghost hunter. “I’m going to start another job. Let me know when it’s okay to return.”
Cid nodded and waited until they had all departed before speaking. “I left the camera inside.”
“I know.”
“Burt’s going to be pissed.”
“Not if you left it running,” Mia said, looking up at the second story. “We could always use more footage of ghost feet.”
Cid tried not to smile. He enjoyed Mia’s odd sense of humor, but he didn’t like getting yelled at. “I’d feel better if I had all the equipment I brought in with me.”
“Tell you what. Let’s run. We’ll not give the bastards time to set up their little games. Let’s run in laughing, grab the camera and leave screaming. That’ll give them a mind-fuck.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Cid, you underestimate your value. You’re family.” Mia touched her ear com. “Teddy Bear, we’re going after the camera.”
“Be careful,” he urged.
“Caution is not on the menu, but for you, sugar pie, I’ll make it an entrée.”
Mia and Cid ran towards the house, opening the door with force and letting it slam back against the inside wall. They took the stairs two at a time. As they charged down the hall, Mia smacked the wall on either side.
“What are you doing that for? We don’t want to piss them off,” Cid said gasping for breath.
“They are programed to handle the timid. Bold and ballsy is something they are going to have to make adjustments for,” Mia explained as she jumped up, turned around and slammed her backside into the wall at the end of the corridor.
Cid picked up the camera.
“Come on, I’ll race you!” Mia prompted, laughing. She took off running with Cid on her heels. Mia stopped at the top of the stairs. She got on her tiptoes and whispered in Cid’s ear. “Let’s slide down the banister.”
Cid lifted her up, setting her on the polished wood. Mia took off fast. Cid got up and slid behind her. Mia stopped him before he hit the newel post. He jumped off, and they ran out of the door. Mia closed it quickly. She turned around and bowed. “That’s how you raid a house filled with ghosts.”
“Why did we slide down the banister?”
“For fun.”
“Come on…”
“They were lined up against the wall ready to push us to our deaths. No one thought we grownups would slide down the banister,” Mia said.
“They evidently don’t know us,” Cid said, checking out the camera. He ran t
he tape back a few minutes and watched the footage as they walked down the drive to the command center truck. Cid gasped.
“What?” Mia asked, leaning over to look in the viewfinder screen.
Moving down the hall were several sets of feet. All but one set were encased in period shoes. All but one moved at a normal gate. The exception wouldn’t be able to find shoes to fit its feet. The curved toenails tapped a cadence on the wood in the hall as it moved swiftly past the camera. The hairy feet were long and calloused, seemingly from a lifetime of walking barefoot.
“What is that?” Cid asked, not expecting an answer from Mia.
“Either a hobbit or a yeti, I imagine. I bet when Ted cleans this up, we’ll see that the feet are fakes.”
“What if they’re not?”
“Then we’re in a hell of a lot of trouble.”
Chapter Seven
Angelo set down gently on the cement beside the limousine. He opened his wings, and Ira stumbled forward. The driver gave him a steadying hand, guiding him to the open back door of the car. “Your clothes are inside. There are also some refreshments. I find I’m real thirsty after a trip with Mr. Michaels.”
Ira’s limbs were stiff, and he was barely able to hold his weight. The Gray Ladies warned him of this and also gave him a recipe for a salve to rub into his legs every night before he rested. He scanned the ingredients before he left and, with the exception of fennel root, all could be obtained from his local market.
Putting on clothes was interesting. Gone were the dead legs he had to move around with his hands. His legs were weak, but they did move. The muscles were still pulsing with residual electricity.
“Don’t be surprised if you get a shock when you touch metal for a few days,” the driver said from the open door. “Could you hand me Mr. Michaels’s suit jacket?”
Ira did as he was asked. He liked the feel of the expensive material and vowed that he would achieve the kind of wealth that would put these kinds of suits on his body one day. As if he read his mind, the driver offered, “Harrison’s on Michigan Avenue. They’re in the book.”
