by Alexie Aaron
“Cold, Murph, get really cold. They can’t handle cold things!” Mia shouted. “That’s why they have to take the souls right away,” she explained, tossing the shotgun aside. She pulled a small canister of liquid nitrogen she had found in Ted’s workshop out of her backpack and primed it to squirt.
Mia felt the air around her cool. Murphy changed summer to arctic in the small graveyard. He moved slowly towards the hands. When he had backed them away from the spot the void existed, he stopped. Mia kept her hand on the trigger of her homemade liquid nitrogen launcher. She had cobbled it together with bits and bobs and a lot of duct tape. She wasn’t sure it was going to work. Once she realized that the dry ice would only fire once, she had gone searching for other ways of tossing the stuff when her eyes lit upon the small canisters locked safely away in Ted’s hidden cupboard, the cupboard she wasn’t supposed to know about. It took a few minutes for her to pick the lock, quicker than finding Ted’s spare set of keys.
She looked like a dragon as her warm breath hit the chill layer Murphy was emitting. It was so cold, she worried that her eyeballs would freeze. How long could they hold off the hands? The reapers were injured but resolute in taking over the void.
“Told you to go home,” Murphy said.
“I did,” she said through chattering teeth. “I just came back that’s all. You didn’t tell me I couldn’t come back.”
“How?”
“Snuck away and took off running through the woods when the driver was talking to Audrey.”
“Glad you did.”
“Finally a little recognition. Remember, Murph, I’ve got your back,” Mia said. “You may be giving me the cold shoulder right now, but I knows you loves me,” she teased.
“Bad Mia.”
A ripping sound filled the night. Mia looked up and saw a bright light preceding three tumbling beings. She pulled Murphy away as the trio dropped to the ground.
The hands shot over her head and entered the void before Mia could squeeze off an ounce of the nitro. “Go ahead, get!” she shouted, and if I ever see you in my neck of the woods…”
“Minnie mouse, who are you talking to? Is that my liquid nitrogen? What have you done to it?” Ted said, getting to his feet. He took the adapted canister from her. “Honey, that is dangerous stuff. That’s why I keep it locked… Hey, how’d you get the key?”
Mia left him patting his pockets for his key ring. She walked over to Angelo who was furiously shedding his clothing. She helped him pull the shredded shirt and coat off his back to release his wings. “Did you find him?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m here, Mia,” Father Santos said behind her.
She spun around and didn’t see anything. “You’re not dead, because if you were, I would be able to see you. Thank God, Angelo was right,” Mia said and started to cry. “Thank God.”
“He’s a true friend. We’ll talk more about this soon. Right now, Angelo has to get me to the aerie before my brother pulls the plug.”
“Good luck,” Mia said as Angelo extended his mighty wings and wrapped them around his magnificent nude body and disappeared with the bilocated spirit of Paolo Santos.
“Thick as a toddler’s arm,” Cid commented from behind her. “Brrrr, why is it so cold here?”
“Murph, you can turn off the chill,” Mia said.
Murphy laughed at his own stupidity and proceeded to do just that.
“I found it!” Ted exclaimed, holding the cabinet key in the air. “You must have picked the lock,” he accused. “You didn’t see anything else in there, did you?”
“Like your old porn collection?” Mia teased.
Cid turned red. “He doesn’t still have that old box of…”
“No, I don’t. She’s lying. I’m talking about the stuff in the little boxes?”
“Sorry, all I saw was the liquid nitro,” Mia said. She looked at her husband and then at Cid and said, “Well, who’s going to start?”
“I don’t understand,” Ted said, scratching his head.
“You’ve just been to a place only one other being has ever returned from. Spill it. Tell me!” she growled.
“We’ve got better,” Cid said as he handed the iPad to Mia. “We’ve got it on digital.”
Murphy crowded in behind the three of them and watched as Angelo lifted the Light of Everest out of the pouch.
“Whoa!” they chorused.
~
Constantino knelt, praying in the garden. He reached out to the God he was raised in the belief of, “Please, guide your servant.” He felt a disturbance in the air above him, and he turned to see a large winged man lower himself slowly to the ground. The morning sun shone on the glistening skin of the birdman.
“For a moment I thought you were…”
“An angel,” Angelo answered. “I am honored to be mistaken for one, but alas, I am only a birdman. But a birdman with good news. Come to Paolo’s bedside. Hurry,” he urged.
Constantino followed the man and noticed that a Gray Lady awaited Angelo and handed him a robe after Angelo’s wings moved into his back and became once again the moving lines of a tattoo.
The Gray Ladies parted as the men entered the room. Angelo walked to the bedside of his friend and smiled down at the priest.
Paolo looked over at his brother and said, “Tino! It’s been too long! Come and give your brother a hug.”
Constantino looked at Angelo and then at his brother. “You found him. You didn’t drag him from Heaven, did you?”
“No, not even from hell,” Paolo jested. “Three gallant men went into the void and brought me back from the dark world.”
“I don’t understand this dark world,” his brother said.
“Neither did I,” Santos admitted. “Evidently, if enough people believe in something, the universe obliges. Our heaven is different than Buddha’s, for example. Purgatory is only for those who fear they’re going there. I’ve learned so much these last few years. I’d love to tell you all that I have learned and also visit with your family. It’s been too long, Tino. I’ve been a bad brother.”
“You were doing God’s work,” Constantino said but was pleased that his brother was aware of the distance made between them.
“I will leave you to get reacquainted,” Angelo said. “It’s been a hard few weeks, and I must retire. The sisters will see to your needs.”
Paolo watched his friend walk slowly out the door. He didn’t see the birdman fall into the arms of the waiting healers, nor did he see the pain in his face. The last he saw of Angelo was the proud back of a warrior.
Chapter Twenty-three
Headlights assaulted the four friends as they walked down the road. The limo stopped, and the driver barely got around the car to open the door before Audrey launched herself from the front seat.
“I told you she would sneak back here!” she called. She ran full tilt to Mia and hugged her hard before turning to Ted and Cid, giving each of them a hug in turn.
Murphy was a bit put off. Mia reached out a hand and clenched his in hers.
“Tell me!” Audrey said.
“We found him. Angelo is flying him to…” Cid started to explain and was lost for words.
“Italy, the alps to be exact,” Mia filled in. “Father Santos’s brother is there, watching over his body.”
“This is one crazy world. Excuse me a minute,” Audrey said and jogged back to the car. “Your boss is in Italy. Could you give us a lift home before you leave?”
“Waiting is hell,” Mia said, grabbing Ted’s hand with her free one. “Promise me no more…”
“Jaunts to the outer ring of the dark world? Done and done,” Ted said, pulling her around him, oblivious to the chain reaction he was causing. Murphy flew past them, caught up in the motion. “What the hell?”
“Oh you know, Murph, always clowning around,” Mia said mischievously.
“So what did you do while we were gone?” he asked.
“Fought off two reapers,” Mia said nonchalantly.
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“You must have some story to tell.”
“Yes, just a story. I don’t have digital,” Mia said lifting her voice. “You know that you can’t broadcast that.”
“Yes.”
“But you can show it to Burt and Mike. They’re going to be so jealous,” Mia said. “My husband and our wife going in and returning from the dark world. Comic book ready.”
“Hey, I’m not the two of yours wife,” Cid complained. “But I think you’re onto something. We could write the adventure up as a comic book…”
“That you could,” Mia agreed. “Burt would love to help. He’s got a boxful of comic book drafts hidden away in the walk-in closet of the guestroom.”
“How do you know?” Cid asked.
“I’m his landlord,” Mia said cooly.
“That’s snooping,” Ted reminded her.
“Hey, if Burt can peep at me and Audrey at the beach with my telescope, I can look through his stuff when he’s not around. Fair is fair.”
“Holy smokes, Batman, she’s just like you!” Cid exclaimed.
“We Martins have a lot of superpowers and nerve,” he answered. “Honey, did you get my cape back from the cleaners?”
“They had a problem getting the mustard stain out, but yes, I got it back,” Mia said.
“Do you think that before junior gets too big,” he said, patting her tummy, “you could at least try on the Wonder Woman costume?” Ted begged as they got in the back of the limo.
“After tonight, I’ll wear it to the Ace Hardware,” Mia said, hugging her husband.
“Hey, Murph, there’s room for one more,” Ted called to the axeman. “Come on, you’re one of us. Come hell or high water, Stephen Murphy, you’re a PEEP.”
Murphy smiled and got in beside the driver.
“You touch that radio, and I’ll break your arm,” the driver warned.
Murphy held his hands up innocently.
The driver pulled away, and as the group was consumed with stories and laughter, only one of them looked back to see the ringed hand seal the void. Murphy finally relaxed. There would be no retaliation from that quarter. Still, he would avoid the graveyard for a while and encourage Mia to do the same.
~
Burt rushed out of the office, startling the group. “Where the hell have you guys been? Maggie’s got the trots, and the computers are going crazy.”
Ted looked at his watch and asked, “Did we have a meeting scheduled?”
“No, I was just coming in to do some editing. I’m having some trouble staying on a normal person’s sleep schedule. Was that Angelo’s limo that just dropped you off?”
Mia left Ted to explain and went in search of Maggie who looked miserable. Mia felt her nose, and it was warm. “Do you have a tummy ache?”
The dog lifted her head, sighed and laid it back down on the front porch. “Ted,” Mia called. “I think our Maggie has been into the trashcan again.”
Ted excused himself from his conversation with Burt and walked around to the back. The green bin was on its side. Most of the contents looked as if they were nosed through by a large-pawed creature. He kicked most of the debris into the bin before righting it. He would have to design a better way of keeping the sweet and bacon-grease-loving dog from knocking the large bin over. He looked at the backyard. Cid’s stakes were still there. Their DIY project had been postponed. Ted looked at the place where Mia wanted the solarium and thought a minute.
The slight scraping of cast iron on the back walk announced that Murphy had joined him. “What do you think, instead of just the solarium, we build a two story addition? This way we can have a nursery handy. Later, we can turn it into a rainy day playroom. The view would be magnificent.”
Murphy kicked at the ground.
“I agree, we’ll have to make the foundations strong enough to support the structure.”
“Who are you talking to?” Cid asked, walking around the house to see what happened to Ted.
“Murphy. We are pondering a two-story addition.”
Cid looked at his technical genius of a friend and shook his head. “We’ll need help. I can act as contractor, but I’m going to need the help of professionals. We’ll need to file papers and…”
Murphy pushed his hat back.
“Murphy says that in his day you didn’t need all this red tape,” Ted interrupted for Cid.
“Murphy, actually it’s to protect the homeowners. You want the job done right. The building needs to be safe, especially since we are bringing a little Martin into this world.”
“Damn, better make it kid-proof. My parents had a hell of a time with my sisters.”
“Seems like a bit of revisionist history going on,” Cid commented.
“Bad Mia,” Murphy reminded them.
“So the silent speak,” Cid said. “And he is most wise. Better make it fireproof.”
Burt wasn’t used to his team simply walking away from him. He went back into the office to see Audrey standing in front of the array of monitors.
“See what I mean? They are going crazy.”
“They seem to be running code of some kind. Perhaps Ted set them up to do an afterhours maintenance,” she suggested.
“You know, I didn’t think of that,” Burt admitted. “Why are you here so late, and how was the beach?”
“The beach was nice. I stayed to give Mia some support. Although, the girl snuck off and went battling reapers instead of hanging with me looking through magazines.”
“She is a handful. Very single-minded,” Burt said. “She’ll be dancing to another tune as soon as the pregnancy starts to weigh her down. Wait, did you say reapers?”
“It’s kind of hard to think of the Martins as parents,” Audrey said, ignoring the reaper question. “Don’t get me wrong, they’ll make good ones, but they seem so young.”
“They aren’t much younger than we are, Audrey,” Burt reminded her.
“Ouch, now you’ve done it. I can hear my biological clock ticking,” she complained and left the office.
He was a bit put out over her not answering his question about the reapers and slammed his hand on the desk.
Ted walked in a few moments later. “What did you do to the computers, Burt?”
“Nothing. They just started running code. Audrey thought it was a maintenance protocol or something.”
Ted wanted to say something about how computer savvy both Burt and Audrey were but decided to be nice instead. “Listen, I’ll shut them down and take a look at them tomorrow. I’ve had quite a day, and my mind is fugged up.”
“Fugged? That’s not a word.”
“Mia and I are trying to wean ourselves from cussing. We don’t want our kid starting off in preschool with a blue vocabulary,” Ted explained.
Burt laughed. “I’m sorry, I just can’t imagine Mia Cooper… Martin, curbing her tongue, even for an infant.”
Ted frowned. He couldn’t either, but he knew that she’d try. Mia didn’t think any language was out of bounds. They were just words after all. But now that she was going to be a mother… Ted sat down hard. It finally hit him, he was going to be a daddy.
The screen behind him read. A tidy computer is a happy computer.
“I’ll deal with you later,” Ted said, shutting down the PEEPs server.
Chapter Twenty-four
Mia wrung her hands. She had never felt so exposed and nervous. Ted was there with her, and he, like always, didn’t seem affected by the event that was about to take place.
“Mia, you’ve barely touched your coffee,” Ralph commented. “And I went to all the trouble of getting the special beans.”
“Are those the cat shit beans?” Mia asked, looking at the cup before her.
“No, I’m not fond of any excremental foods, as you very well know,” he scolded.
“I bet you’re wondering why we invited ourselves here,” Mia started.
“We are overjoyed anytime we can spend time with you and Ted,” Bernard said, “But we don
’t normally see you on a Sunday morning, so we’re curious.”
“We wanted to tell you as soon as it was medically confirmed,” Mia said. “I’m pregnant.”
Ralph’s face was one of pure joy. Bernard jumped to his feet and clasped Ted’s body in a bear hug. “You rascal. I thought you were waiting.”
“Er,” was all Ted got out before Ralph squealed.
“I’m going to be a grandfather! I’m too young to be a grandfather. I can’t be an unmarried grandfather…”
“You’re not a grandfather,” reminded Bernard. “You’re Mia’s godfather, so that makes you the child’s what?”
“Grand godfather? Is there such a thing?” Ralph puzzled. “Anyway, I’m still too young and unmarried.”
Mia, who was likewise swept up in Ralph’s arms, tried to speak, but aside from being the carrier of the child, she had no place in the conversation.
“The only reason you’re still an unmarried, whatever, is that you won’t settle on a venue,” Bernard reminded him. “The state of Illinois has come through for us. No excuses now. You’ve got to make an honest man of me; my family is starting to talk.”
“Oh pooh,” Ralph said.
Mia pushed at him, and he eased his hold but refused to let her go. He spun her around in front on him and surveyed her body. “You don’t look like you’ve gained an ounce.”
“I’m not that pregnant,” Mia said defensively.
“You’re going to have to change your style. If I haven’t asked you enough to leave the cargos and combat boots behind, now is the time to ease into a more feminine look. Just so the kid doesn’t mistake mommy for lesbian mommy - not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he added quickly to get out of hot water.
