I see a smile in his eyes. “I know you will. And when you do…” his voice starts to fade out. “I will … you.”
“No, no, no, no. Zach you’re fading!” I hug him.
“… love…” and his voice is gone.
“Love you more…” I start to cry.
Zach whines.
“It’s gone. I can’t hear you anymore.” I hug tighter.
He sighs. I know he had so much more to say and I wanted to hear every word, no matter how long it took.
It takes me a few minutes to release Zach and notice that our family is staring at us.
“I think she has officially lost her mind…” Donavon said flatly.
“Donavon!” Katrina whispers harshly.
“Lexi? You okay?” Thomas questioned, unsure.
Thatch and Garcia look between Zach and I confused.
I wipe away a tear from my eye. “I’m fine.”
“Promise?” Thomas said with wary eyes.
“Promise.”
Thomas runs over and hugs me. I squeeze him back. He has such a soft heart and I just love him to death.
“Since you have stopped talking to yourself, mind telling us what happened while you were meditating?” Donavon questioned again. “What made your eyes change to that freaky color?”
He is really annoying me today.
Katrina stomps on Donavon’s foot and I see a flicker of pain cross his face. It makes me smile.
“Did anything happen while I was meditating?” I asked looking at Garcia and Thatch.
Garcia shakes her head. “Not that we could see. You sat perfectly still, then all of a sudden I felt something change in you. Like something exploded. So I ran out to see if you were okay.”
I smile, “Yeah, it was something like that and I will never forget it either. I was able to fully awaken my gifts. I feel so strong now, nothing like before.”
Thatch steps forward. “As we can see.” He glimpses out toward the yard. “And you don’t feel drained at all after all of that?”
I shake my head. “No, I feel perfectly fine. I feel like I could go all day.” I smile ready to do something more to prove my point.
“Moderation child.” Garcia smiles with her slight warning.
I nod my head in agreement. “Yes ma’am.”
Later, Garcia approached Zach and I sitting on the porch talking. Well, I’m doing most of the talking and it depresses me.
“How are you feeling? Everything okay?” she asked sitting down next to me.
“Yeah, I’m doing fine. As fine as can be I guess. Just a lot to take in is all.”
She nods. “I can imagine. But I must ask… how were you able to hear Zach earlier?” she questioned looking at her son.
“After I planted that tree,” I motioned toward the yard where it stands proudly with its leaves already turning to fall colors, “I told Bree it was for her…” I smile sadly. I still can’t get over losing her. “She thanked me and gave me that moment with Zach. It was Bree’s doing. Not mine.”
Garcia wraps her arm around my back and hugs me. I lay my head on her shoulder. “Seems your sister will always watch over you as she did in life.” She smiled. “That’s a good thing, because with great power, comes great responsibility.”
“Yeah, I know… Somehow I’m feeling this is a ‘be careful what you do with it’ speech.” I lift my head to look at her.
She laughs lightly. “I know you have a good head on your shoulders, so I know you would never use your gifts for reasons other than to help others. You are strong, stronger than anyone I have ever met. But it honestly scares me that you may lose your way at some point child. But I want you to know we will all be here to bring you back and not allow you to lose yourself. We love you the way you are and we don’t want to lose that.” She squeezes me tighter.
Tears stream down my cheeks. “I know what you have said is true and I can’t be more thankful for having you all in my life. I feel like I had already lost myself once after Bree died and I am determined not to let it happen again. Thank you for all that you have already done for me. I really don’t deserve any of you.”
Garcia chuckles, “You deserve far better child. But I do have one thing to ask.” She looks toward me then out to the long grass. “Could you please put the grass back to the way it was?” she laughed. “We all know Donavon isn’t going to mow this lawn.”
I laugh evilly. “I could force him you know. But I’ll be nice.” I smile. Without a second thought the grass is receding back into the ground. “How long would you like it?” I ask being smart.
“Oh, about two inches should do,” she laughs as she watches in amazement as I put the grass at exactly two inches long. “From now on, you’re on lawn duty,” she grinned.
“Awesome…” I roll my eyes and Zach snickers.
Trip
I desperately want to throw up as I finish packing my small bag to leave. I’m becoming increasingly nervous and stressed out the closer we get to dooms day. Only four days left, including today…
Today we are heading out to the Black Hills of South Dakota where this all began so long ago. The drive is about twenty hours, so we have a long trip ahead and plan to be there Wednesday. We are leaving here tonight at 9pm so we can beat the traffic by night driving. We plan to drive straight through and get a hotel close to the Black Hills.
The stress is devouring me. I feel like this is the end. I don’t know what to expect or if I will be able to destroy Malvent as so many think I can. Everyone around me continually tells me I can do this and try to build my confidence, but it doesn’t work. So many depend on me. I hate the thought that I will fail. Even though I have this new found power, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m the only one who even remotely has the chance to kill the monster that sends fear through so many. If I fail, I will never forgive myself.
Shaking my head trying to rid of the thoughts, I place the most important items in my bag. Letters to everyone I love and care about… Thomas, Katrina and Donavon, Garcia and Thatch, my parents and lastly Zach. It was the hardest thing I had to do yesterday as I locked myself in my room and wrote these all out. Of course, I cried a river and I know Zach sat outside my door the whole time wanting to know what was wrong with me. I don’t want anyone to know about these letters, unless something happens to me, which I’m not so sure isn’t going to happen. Either way I’m prepared.
With a heavy heart and a deep sigh, I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder to head downstairs to the huge high top van. With Zach, we need the height and size. Halfway down the stairs I feel a tug on my bag. I turn to see Zach as he pulls the bag out of my hand and carries it for me.
“Thanks,” I smile the best I can manage.
He nods and gives me a wolfy grin, though it doesn’t touch his eyes. I know he is nervous, but it’s for me, not himself just as it always is.
Once outside, we are greeted by everyone. I can tell they all have a slight edge to them as they pack the van with some of the necessities. Food, water, and clothes are all we are taking. Garcia is also bringing an extra bag of medical supplies, just in case.
It’s dark as we get into the van. Zach has to get into the back hatch, which is just big enough for him to squeeze inside. Once he lays down, taking up a good share of space, everyone else gets in. We all are very quiet. I sit in the back with Zach. Thatch is driving with Garcia as his navigator up front. Thomas is in the seat behind them and the seat in front of me is Donavon and Katrina. As we are about to pull away, I look back toward the house that has become my home. I’m afraid it will be the last time I will see it. I may not return here and it saddens me to no end.
Just before we got into the van, I used my gift to plant a large stargazer lily in the garden inside, in my favorite spot to sit. I managed to arrange the small dots on the petals so it reads, ‘I love you all.’ Just in case I don’t come back…
As we pull away, I look back one last time and a tear streams down my face. Zach wipes it away with his nose an
d gives me the look he used to when he’d say he was sorry. He motions his head for me to come closer.
I sit down on the floor with him and curl myself into his side as he lays his head on the floor next to me. I want to cry the whole way, but I know I need to keep my strength. No point in crying over things I can’t control.
The first few hours are quiet, other than Garcia telling Thatch where to go. Katrina and Thomas are fast asleep and Donavon holds tightly onto Katrina in a tight embrace.
Donavon looks down at Katrina as she snores slightly.
“Lexi…” Donavon speaks quietly, breaking the silence.
“Yeah?” I speak for the first time since leaving the house.
“Once we get to the hotel…” he hesitates. “Thomas and I are going to need to build up our strength.” He acts as there is more he wants to say, but he doesn’t.
“I understand Donavon. Do what you need to. But for K’s sake… please don’t kill anyone.”
He nods in agreement.
It almost seems like he was asking permission from me. “What about Thomas?”
He thinks for a moment. “He’s never… been that way and I don’t want to change that. But he needs to be stronger.” He struggles with the words.
Garcia whispers back to us, “I have extra blood in the cooler if he chooses that path.”
Donavon nods. “I have a feeling he will.”
That is the end of the discussion about it as Katrina starts to stir. I hate to keep things from her, but she doesn’t need to know about it. Donavon clearly doesn’t want her to know he will need to feed from humans to become stronger. He will need to protect her during the battle.
Katrina doesn’t fully wake up, and she starts her even paced breathing again.
It’s about 2am when I finally fall asleep snuggled up with Zach.
The rest of the trip is pretty uneventful. Well, other than when we stop to get gas. We all get out, stretching our legs and Zach heads into the nearby woods. When we come out from the gas station, I yell out that we are ready to go and Zach starts trotting toward the car. When he’s halfway, another car pulls in and slams on their breaks. The poor woman looks horrified as Zach gets in the back of the van. We all try to hurry before we have the cops on our tail, but I’m not too worried, as the poor woman looks like she is about to have a heart attack. I’m not really sure the police will believe her about a wolf the size of a horse anyway. They’d probably think she is on some good drugs.
But other than that, things are quiet. I’m just glad we finally made it to a hotel. I really need to stretch out on a bed. Twenty hours of driving is so not fun. Of course there is nothing fun about this trip to begin with.
Zach and I have our own room, as do Donavon and Katrina. Garcia, Thatch and Thomas all have a room together. It’s only 7pm so we try to make the most of the situation. We order pizza and pay-per-view movies and gather in Thatch, Garcia and Thomas’s room since it’s the biggest with two bedrooms. We don’t talk about tomorrow or the next day as we all seem to block it from our minds for the time being. We watch two movies and devour five large pizzas between us. We act like we are starving. It’s about 11pm Wednesday night when most of us head to bed. Once Katrina is asleep, Donavon disappears into the night after he talked to Thomas. Thomas wants nothing to do with feeding off of people, like we all figured. But Donavon is able to convince him to drink some of the extra blood Garcia brought. Poor Thomas cringes as he drinks it down, gulping it as fast as he can. But at least it will help him on Friday.
All I can keep thinking is… the day after tomorrow is Dooms Day…
Self
Zach and I head back to our room after walking around in the nearby woods. We needed to stretch our legs without anyone seeing Zach. After heading back to our room I get in bed and hide under the covers. I’m glad we have a king size bed, it’s nice to have Zach jump up and lay tightly next to me. His body is warm and smells like home.
I shift over to snuggle into his side and he lets out a sigh of contentment.
My mind wants to shift toward thoughts I don’t want to have. I keep trying to squash them down and ignore them. But they keep popping up.
The what-ifs of what can happen Friday assaults my mind… if we win… if we don’t win… if someone dies… if I die… my family, my friends, my parents… So many thoughts swim around and around. I have so many emotions I don’t know what to feel first.
I know Zach feels my turmoil as I lay next to him. He raises his head and does what he can to hug and comfort me. I turn my body toward his and snuggle into his side. I depend on him so much lately and I’m so thankful he is here for me. Wolf or not, he does what he can to help me, to support me, and love me. No matter what form he is in, he will forever be my Zach.
I struggle against the waves of nausea that keep coming with the emotional breakdown I’m on the verge of having. My breathing starts coming hard and I know I can’t hold it off much longer. My emotions are overwhelming me and I can’t suppress them any longer.
I look to Zach with tears filling my eyes. It only takes one word for Zach to understand what I want, what I need right now…
“Thomas…” I break into sobs.
He nods and quickly leaves the room, giving me a last glimpse before heading down to get Thomas.
When he comes back with Thomas a few minute later, I’m sitting in the middle of the bed having a complete melt down, wrapping my arms around my knees. It’s hard to breathe.
Thomas climbs onto the bed and sits in front of me. He lifts my head with hands on either side of my face. I look into his innocent eyes. He is only a child and he is about to witness a horror that may change him forever. That thought only sends me into deeper despair.
Thomas watches me for a moment with saddened eyes before asking, “You sure?”
I nod my head. I can’t deal with this emotional pain.
“K’ay.”
I feel myself slipping away. Thomas is taking my energy from me. Before I’m completely drained, I manage to whisper, “Thank you.”
From there on out, I don’t remember anything, nothing but blackness.
I wake up with a massive headache. It throbs badly as I sit up in bed grabbing my head. My eyes also burn like I have been crying all night. Zach is watching me from the floor with sorrow and concern in his eyes.
I sit on the edge of the bed for a moment. Then I remember what happened last night. Thomas took my energy.
“Where’s Thomas?” I ask not even hearing myself through the swooshing of my head.
“I’m here,” Thomas announces from the doorway. He sounds like he’s flying high on sugar.
I turn just in time to see Thomas bound next to me on the bed.
He speaks really fast, “Ready to have your energy back?”
I’m a little confused on why he seems so hyper. “Please.”
Thomas grabs my arm in a flash.
I feel as my energy is returned to me. I instantly feel better, my headache gone.
“Thanks for helping me last night Thomas, I really appreciate it.” I look toward him.
Thomas looks drained and tired all of a sudden as he yawns. “No problem,” he said in his normal tone again.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He nods. “You have a lot of energy and power. It was hard to keep it with me last night. It wanted to return to you, I never felt that before. It’s really strong.”
I look at him a little wide eyed. My energy is a little too much for him to handle.
“Thomas, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have had you return it back to me.”
He smiles a little tired. “Exactly… you needed sleep. I managed to keep it in control most of the time. Your energy is very stubborn though,” he laughed slightly.
I smile. “I guess it takes after me.” I watch Thomas again for a moment. “Did you get any sleep?”
Thomas yawns then shakes his head. “No, I was kinda bouncing off the w
alls,” he laughed.
I feel guilty. “I’m sorry Thomas. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“It’s okay.” he yawns again.
“Here…” I stand up and pick Thomas up and sit him in the middle of the bed. “Sleep for a while. We will come get you before we leave okay?”
He nods. “Okay.” He lays down and is out in seconds.
I look over at Zach who watches me carefully.
“I’m fine. Just a lot of stress lately you know.” I try to smile, but he isn’t going for it.
Zach heads toward the door and looks back expecting me to follow. I do as he wants and follow him down to Garcia and Thatch’s room. I’m glad we are on the back side of the hotel. No one else is around while we walk down the sidewalk a few rooms down. Zach doesn’t need any publicity.
“Ah, child. How are you feeling this morning?” Thatch asked.
“Better.” I smile slightly. “Thomas is sleeping in our bed for a while.”
Garcia comes out of the bedroom. “Good, he definitely needs it. That poor boy had a hard time with the amount of energy you hold. Poor thing was all over the place.”
I become quiet and Garcia notices.
She sighs, “Lexi, child, you cannot take everything to heart. You can’t protect everyone. We all make our own choices just as Thomas did last night. It was his choice to deal with your energy so you could rest. You, out of all of us, need your strength. Without you, we don’t even stand a chance. You need to take care of yourself and not try to care for everyone else. We are quite capable of taking care of ourselves.” She smiled. “You take care of you. We are here to help you do that, do you understand child?”
I think for a moment… “But why don’t you take care of yourselves? You’re always helping others, never yourselves.” I look at Thatch and Garcia.
They both smile, but Thatch answers, “When we were young, we did nothing but take care of ourselves. We were selfish and reckless in many ways. We have grown up and seen the error of our youth. It’s our time to give back and do what we can and maybe we can correct what we have done in the past. But if we can’t, then at least we did what we could with the rest of our lives and hopefully changed lives for others.”
Sapphyre: Rise of an Angel (Sapphyre Saga Book 3) Page 14
