“You have talked to Gabe though. I mean,” Emmie shrugged, thinking about the last time Ava had called her, “you’ve had a chance to talk about things. He knows about the wedding change.”
“Oh yeah,” Ava laughed without humor and turned to pace the length of the floor. “He knows about the wedding plans. Pop was going to make him come home that night we found out and marry me right here in the living room. Can you believe it, Emmie? Marry him without our families, without you, without even being in a church? He saw red, Emmie. I’ve never seen him like that.” Ava turned to face her friend again. “If it wasn’t for something big that was happening back in Kentucky, we would have already been married. But Pop went to a meeting one day with Uncle Michael and Gabe’s father, Marco. The three of them came out all stone-faced and sober. Pop never even told me. Ma said we would get married as soon as Gabe had things settled and could get back up here. Is he here now? Did you travel with him?” Ava asked eagerly.
Emmie nodded. She wasn’t sure whether she should say he had come as close as the door this morning, until it was slammed in his face.
Ava spoke quickly before Emmie had the opportunity to say anything, “Is he okay? Is he handling it okay?”
Emmie licked her lips pausing for a moment before she spoke. “Ava, I didn’t know until this moment that there was anything to handle. So, I never spoke to him about it,” she said gently.
Ava rubbed her face. “That’s right. Sorry, I’m not thinking clearly. I’m just going out of my mind. We’ve had a few secret conversations, like the one that day I called your house. I just miss him. I thought he might come here when you arrived. I should have known better. It wouldn’t be smart for him to face Pop right now.”
“He tried.” Emmie found herself saying that before she even thought about it. She looked at Ava. Her face was almost impassive. She had her guard up. It was an art form Ava had perfected.
“Pop wouldn’t let him in would he?” she asked.
“No,” Emmie sighed.
“How did he take it?” Ava asked.
Emmie shrugged. “He was upset. He really wanted to see you.”
Ava’s stony demeanor softened as another tear fell down her cheek. When she brushed it away she was smiling and her shoulders relaxed. “I’ve missed him so much. I’ve missed all of you. It’s been so awful being stuck up here all alone,” she said as she moved back over to the vanity. She finished the powdering process she had started earlier. A moment of silence passed before either of them spoke.
“I am sorry that I couldn’t come up here when you called and asked me to,” Emmie finally said.
Ava nodded and painted her lips.
“What was so important down there anyway?” Ava asked with an arched eyebrow.
“Oh, Ava, you know they don’t tell me anything when I ask.” Emmie laughed nervously.
Ava grinned but it didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s true. But you usually aren’t one to stop asking,” she answered, looking down at her powders.
Emmie sighed and closed her eyes. She did not want to get into this right now. So, she went with another strategy that always worked well for Ava . . . change the conversation back to Ava. “So now that Gabe’s back will you be getting married at Christmas like you said or will it be sooner?”
Ava stood and turned to face her friend. “I honestly don’t know. I’m assuming the conversation will come back up now that he’s back. For all I know the wedding is tonight. I haven’t even gotten flowers, a proper dress, or anything.” She looked lost in thought for a moment. “I’d like to talk to Gabe about things before we walk down the aisle . . . if we even get an aisle.” She laughed at her own joke. “Do you think you could help me?”
“How?” Emmie asked.
“Call him. Or get Silas or Trick to help. Those three can work around just about anything, surely you’ve figured that out by now.” Ava smiled.
Emmie stomach sank at Ava’s words. She had recently seen how resourceful the three of them were at working around things. Ava also had no idea that Silas and Gabe were not on friendly terms. Just hours ago the two had been in a physical fight. Ava had enough on her plate. She didn’t need to be burdened with that knowledge.
“I’ll work something out. I promise,” Emmie said. It was the least she could do for her friend. “I’ll be sure you’ve got a proper dress too. If I’ve got enough time I’ll make you one. Maybe we can talk to your ma about plans or something. She can’t avoid it now that Gabe is back.”
Ava smiled and looked a little more like herself. She wrapped Emmie in a tight hug again. Emmie ground her teeth against the pain in her ribs. “Emmie you are the best friend a girl could have. I am so happy I will be able to call you a sister soon,” Ava said, full of emotion.
“Me too, Ava,” she said honestly. “I’m going to let you finish getting dressed. I may go rest a little. It’s been a long journey.” That was true in so many ways. She was exhausted from everything that had transpired in the last month. This little vacation up north was not turning out to be as carefree and relaxing as she’d planned.
“Of course, you are tired. I’m sorry,” Ava said, following her friend to the door.
“I’ll see you in a bit. And I am happy for you about all of it. I love you and Gabe, how could I not love something that is from both of you?” As soon as Emmie had spoken the words, she knew she’d said the right thing. Ava’s eyes glassed over and she nodded unable to speak.
She walked into the hall. Ava spoke quietly to her from the doorway, “I know that you avoided my question earlier about whatever was happening back home.”
Emmie stood startled for a moment unsure what to say.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m used to not knowing things. It’s usually better that way. I just want you to know that I’m here, if you ever decide you need to not be alone with it. I’m stronger than you think.”
A million things flooded through Emmie’s mind. She wanted to tell her friend she hadn’t avoided the conversation. Tell her there was nothing to keep secret. Tell her she wasn’t being evasive. But each of those things would have been a lie. So she just bit her lip and nodded. Without another word she turned on her heel and found her way back to her bedroom. She slipped off her shoes and got into the bed fully clothed. She knew it was the middle of the afternoon but she needed sleep. Her mind and body needed rest before she could think through everything. Luckily, sleep claimed her quickly.
Chapter Eight
The next few days passed in a lazy routine. Emmie had spoken to Silas once or twice on the phone but she hadn’t seen him since the day he had dropped her off. He was busy and back at work. She assumed that meant he was back in his apartment in Chicago.
Ava and Emmie began to move into their old ways. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time: magazines, the weather, folks from home, but little else of importance. Emmie filled Ava in on Max’s condition and the fact his family was in Louisville for the rest of the month. She did manage to leave out everything to do with apple pie moonshine, revenuers, and Mr. Thomas. She didn’t know when the right time would be to tell Ava but she knew it hadn’t come yet.
The two rarely talked about Ava’s impending wedding. Nothing was being planned or discussed. Emmie had half expected the wedding to be at Ava’s house right after they arrived, but it hadn’t happened. Ava never asked her mother either. What surprised Emmie most was although Ava would occasionally bring up the fact that she couldn’t wait to be married and have this whole mess behind her, she rarely ever brought up wedding dresses, flowers, invitations, or anything to do with the party. Had her parent’s hurtful words seeped into her skin making her feel she no long deserved it? Ava did deserve a wedding. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, right? Emmie wanted to bring it up but could never find the right words.
*
“Emmie, Emmie,” someone whispered above her.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” the voice repeated.
Tha
nksgiving? That’s right, today was Thanksgiving. She needed to be cooking. Walter’s family would arrive soon. Emmie rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and propped up in the bed. It took her a moment to figure out where she was. That’s when the voice registered in her mind. Ava. Chicago. She wouldn’t be spending Thanksgiving with Walter’s family this year.
Squinting her eyes, Emmie turned to face the window and realized the morning sun was shining bright. She doubted anyone in this house planned to have her cook the meal. Usually she awoke before daylight to get a start on the Thanksgiving meal.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean to sleep this late. Are you feeling okay?” she asked, remembering Ava’s usual morning routine.
“Yeah. It wasn’t so bad this morning. Enough about me; it’s time for you to wake up, sleepyhead. Silas is here early,” Ava said, her voice a little louder.
Emmie snapped her head and scanned the room looking for him. Ava laughed.
“You think they are going to let him in your bedroom? Especially in light of recent circumstances,” she said.
“Oh right.” Emmie nodded, tossing back the blankets and making her way to the door.
Ava blocked her exit, “Silas looks quite handsome down there. I’m assuming that’s for you.”
“What’s your point Ava? Why are you blocking me?” she asked.
“Have you reached the level of comfort in your relationship where you no longer care that you have yesterday’s lip color smeared onto your cheek and it looks like rats have nested in your hair while you slept?” Ava smiled and pointed at her friend’s nightgown. “You are also indecent. If you have reached that level then you and I have a lot to talk about.”
Oh, they had a lot to talk about all right. But it was not going to happen now. Emmie smiled at Ava’s words. It was good to hear her tease. She sounded more like herself each day. Maybe part of Ava’s problem was that she was sad and here all alone. Ava never liked to be alone.
Nodding, Emmie rubbed her cheek, hoping to lessen the lip stain that had smeared across her face. “Tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Ava paused at the door. “I’m thinking it might be a good time to make a . . . plan.” She wiggled her eyebrows in reference to the earlier conversation about making an attempt to plan a secret get-together with Gabe.
“Sure. I’ll find a way to bring it up, if the opportunity arises.” Emmie laughed. “Now let me get dressed.”
“Make sure the opportunity arises, Emmie. I need this from you. And wear something blue. It makes your eyes look pretty and he likes you in blue. Remember the feathers?” Ava grinned, popping her face back in the door.
“I remember them.” Emmie giggled again then turned around and mumbled under her breath. “But I’ve been doing just fine with him without your advice lately.” She heard Ava laugh in the hall. She had heard her.
Emmie had never gotten ready so quickly. She had done nothing for the past couple days. The rest had been good for her ribs. It was still painful but not as bad as it was when she first arrived.
When she was suitably brushed, dressed, and powdered, she ran down the stairs, literally taking them two at a time. She had envisioned Silas standing there, waiting for her at the bottom with open arms. But he wasn’t. Instead she found Jemma, his sister. Emmie had only met her once before at the Halloween party, when she’d been dressed like an angel. Tonight she was wearing a lovely deep-red flapper dress and, from the looks of it, it was brand new.
“Emmie, I’m so happy to see you again. Silas has talked of nothing but you since he arrived home,” Jemma said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. It was an odd custom that people rarely did in the south. Hug, playful slap on the arm, or nudge, yes. Kiss a stranger and you may be locked up. Because she’d been around Ava’s family, she was more used to the idea than others, but it still felt unnatural.
“Great to see you too, Jemma,” Emmie said with a smile. “I’m surprised he’s been talking about me. Silas isn’t usually a big talker. How are those college plans coming along?”
Jemma’s face lit up and Emmie realized something in that moment. She used to feel like that when she was younger and talked about going to college. Strange that she hadn’t felt herself shine when she talked about school lately.
“Oh, pretty good. I’m actually in the prep classes in school right now and should be all set to start the two-year primary-teaching program next fall. That’s if I can keep everyone convinced that this is my path.” She smiled and Emmie realized she looked like Trick.
“That’s wonderful. Are you going to stay here for school?” Emmie asked curiously.
“I’m not sure. How about you? Did you enroll yet?” she asked.
“Um . . . no, not yet. Things have been so busy. I honestly just . . .” Emmie said, shrugging. She had no idea how to finish that answer. Lately I’ve spent my time making apple pie moonshine to send a little boy to a doctor and fending off kidnapping revenuers and their dishonest associates. I haven’t had much time to think about schooling. Somehow she didn’t think that answer was going to work. She struggled to come up with something to say. Luckily, she didn’t have to.
“Emmie’s been working hard to take care of a little boy back home,” Silas answered behind her. He must have come into the hall and heard part of their conversation. “Didn’t I tell you she had a heart of gold? That’s what’s going to make her a good teacher.” He swallowed hard as he said the last words. Then he planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. Something about his eyes looked sad when he pulled away.
“Told you he’s been talking about you and like you said, this one rarely talks about anyone.” Jemma laughed, elbowing her brother.
He turned to look at Emmie and pushed a stray hair away from her eyes. Ava was right: he was handsome. He was wearing a dark navy suit with a light blue pinstripe that she had never seen. It was pretty much the same style as his others but the color was beautiful on him. He answered his sister’s jab without taking his eyes from Emmie, “I guess I’ve never had anyone worth talking about before.”
She felt her cheeks warm at his comment. He may not make her shine like she used to when she talked about going to college, but he sure made her face light up.
Chapter Nine
Jemma excused herself from the room leaving Silas and Emmie alone. The minute she left, Emmie stretched up on her toes, grabbed his cheeks, pulled him forward, and kissed him. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered.
His eyes were wide and full of surprise as he pulled away. When he spoke it was through a crooked grin. “Remind me to always stay away from you a few days at a time. I like it when you miss me.”
He laughed again, wrapped his arms around her, and whispered Happy Thanksgiving in her ear. She returned the sentiment. An easy silence ate up a few moments. She had missed the feeling of his arms around her.
It was Silas who spoke first. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” she answered quickly.
He tilted his head to the side and stared down at her, waiting for a more honest answer. She always said she was fine for a moment before she told the truth. It was one of the little things he’d learned about her.
“Honestly Silas, I’m better than I was. My ribs feel much better. See, I didn’t even wince when you hugged me. I’ll show you,” Emmie said, wrapping her arms around him again.
He pulled away, resting a hand gently on her ribs. “I see that. I’m glad they are better. How about everything else?”
She sighed and looked away. He put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to face him. “Are you sleeping?”
“Yes. Not as good as I did with you though. I’m not sure what that says about me.” Emmie frowned. “I was never afraid of being alone before.”
Silas nodded. “You have nothing to be afraid of. They can’t hurt you anymore. Do you think I would leave you here if you weren’t safe?”
Emmie smirked. “Oh, I know they can’t hurt me. They are dead S
ilas. That’s what I see. Not all of the time. Not every night. But I still see it. It’s like a poison in my mind that I cannot get rid of. I’m fine most of the time and then my brain just flashes back to it.”
Silas frowned and nodded, letting her words soak in. He honestly didn’t know what to say to make it better and he hated that. “I told you those are my shadows to bear, not yours. All of that had nothing to do with you. It was me. I’ve fixed it.”
“Silas, do not act like I had nothing to do with it. I made that apple pie. Mr. Thomas’s misguided affections for me led him and his brother to that cabin. I have as many shadows in this as you. I will not let you feel sole responsibility for this. We were there together; we will face it together. You and me. I think that’s why I feel better when you are there at night. I don’t feel so alone in it,” she said, grabbing his hand.
He pulled away from her like her touch was fire. Silas paced the length of the hall and rubbed his face before he spoke. That was not what he wanted to hear from her. That was not what she was supposed to be thinking. He put his finger out at her seriously and pointed from her body to himself, “You and I,” he paused and swallowed hard, “you and I will never be in this together. That stuff, that’s me. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That is not something we share in this relationship.”
Emmie grabbed his pointed finger gently. “I get why you don’t like it that I saw what you did. What you do . . . but it doesn’t change the fact that I did see it and I was there. Our relationship will only work if we are equal. Surely you must have figured that out by now.”
Emmie was surprised to see Silas’s eyes were glassy as he said, “I don’t want this for you.”
“Silas,” she pulled his face close to hers, “can’t you see? I don’t want this for you either. It’s a lot for either of us to bear. We can do this together. Don’t shut me out of your life . . . even the ugly parts.”
He pulled away from her quickly and rubbed his eyes. “We are not having this conversation. I’ve got to get back in there. I’ll be out later. Go visit with Jemma and Ava.”
Come Rain or Shine (Shine On Series, Book Three) Page 4
