Seeing Stars

by J. Sterling

  I nodded before continuing. “Walker rushed out after me, hopped in my car, and refused to leave. He told me he wanted to talk to me. We had nowhere to go and that’s how we ended up here.”

  “He wanted to talk to you? Talk to you about what? And he wouldn’t get out of your car? I think I love this guy.” She laughed, clearly having a great time at my expense.

  “Let me finish.”

  She scowled at me and muttered, “Then finish.”

  Swallowing another gulp of soda, I placed the can between my legs and buried my head in my hands. “Okay,” I started, looking up at my clueless friend. “So whatever, we’re here last night. It’s fine. We had a great time. He kissed me, blah blah. Let’s just fast forward to today.”

  “He kissed you?” Keri’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “I want to hear about that!”

  “Hold on!” I shouted back at her. “So after I quit, I called Walker from the parking garage.”

  “Wait! You called Walker first?” Her hand smacked down on the arm of the couch, sending dust particles into the air. “He was the first person you called?”

  The realization of her statement hit me like a weighted gym bag. “Yeah, I guess.” I shrugged as I tried to slough it off. “Anyway, Keri, just listen.” She folded her arms across her chest as I tried to navigate my words carefully. “So he asks me to meet him at this café. And it’s like the one place in Malibu I never go because it reminds me of the guy I met that one summer.”

  “Oh, your Malibu guy, right?” Keri brought it up so naturally, as if this were a subject we discussed on a daily basis. I think we talked about it one time, but Keri had a memory like an elephant. She remembered everything.

  I fast-forwarded to the point where I got to the café. Keri’s face was a mixture of confusion and excitement as she listened to me spill the details of my afternoon, which felt like it happened eons ago instead of mere hours.

  “So I step out of the car and we’re talking and he can’t take it anymore. He confesses to me who he is. And then I feel like such a fucking idiot for not ever seeing it before because really, Keri? Even though he doesn’t look the same”—I paused for affect—“he still totally looks the same!”

  “You’re not saying…” Keri scrunched up her face, and then the light bulb came on. “Oh my God, you’re not saying… Walker’s n-not,” she stuttered, then her eyes got huge. “He’s your surfer summer love guy?”

  “How insane is that? I mean, this kind of thing just… Does. Not. Happen,” I said, my head still trying to comprehend the events and correlate them with my life now.

  “But his name wasn’t Walker? I mean, even you would remember a name like that.”

  “I guess Walker’s his middle name. When I met him that summer, he went by Scotty.”

  “That’s right! Scotty the surfer!” She smiled, clearly remembering more of my story. “So you didn’t recognize him at all? Ever? Nothing about him has ever struck you as familiar? I know how bad you are with faces, but really?” Poor Keri looked like her head was spinning with a million questions that I’d already asked myself earlier.

  “The only thing about him that was familiar were his eyes, but I thought I just recognized them because of his being a celebrity. And of course, now I feel like I should have always known because even though he’s changed so much since then, he’s still totally him. You know?”

  She shook her head. “I want to yell at you because we’ve seen him so many times online and on TV, but I’m also the girl who has to remind you where we know people from everywhere we go. You really, really suck at faces. But Walker Rhodes? How do you forget that face, no matter how much you suck at remembering people?”

  It was so frustrating, having to defend myself when she knew how horrible I was with faces. “It was over ten years ago, and we were just kids. He looked totally different then. Keri, he was just a boy, but now he’s a grown-ass man. A really hot, grown-ass man.”

  Keri jumped up from the couch and started pacing in small circles. “Madison. You do realize how amazing this is, don’t you? This is the kind of thing they write movies about. I’m going to write a movie about this. Yeah. Maybe I’ll become a screenwriter and your story will be the first one I write.”

  “Keri!” I practically screeched.

  “Don’t worry, I’m kidding. Kind of,” she said as she scrunched up her face while she thought. “It’s not a horrible idea. You’d know the writer, so the story would be incredibly flattering on your behalf.”

  “Oh my gosh, shut up!”

  Her pacing continued and I swore I could see the wheels turning in her mind. “So, did he know? That night at the concert, when he pulled you onstage?”

  I nodded. “He said he recognized me right away.”

  “This all makes so much sense. I mean, the way he’s been acting. The way he was with you at his concert. All of it.” Keri sat back down on the couch, her hands folded in her lap. “So, how do you feel?”

  I sucked in a breath and tried to stop the smile from forming on my lips. “I can’t believe it’s him. I can’t believe he recognized me. When I think about him, I feel like he’s always been a part of me. You know?”

  A smile spread across her face. “I don’t think we ever get over our first loves completely. We move on, of course, but I think a part of them is always with us.”

  “I think if you would have asked me that question a few days ago, my answer would have been completely different. I would have told you I was fine, and that he rarely, if ever, crossed my mind.”

  “And now?”

  “I can’t imagine ever not being with him again.” The words slipped out before my mind had the sense to stop them. “But that’s crazy, right?”

  “It is.” Keri reached out a hand and placed it on my knee. “But it kind of isn’t. You two have a past that bonds you. No one can tell you how to feel about it.”

  “It’s so weird, though. Seeing him and realizing who he is…there is just this immediate comfort and trust. I know there’s a lot we don’t know about each other anymore, and I’m sure we’ve both changed, but when I look at him, all I see is the boy I fell in love with at the beach all those years ago.” I wiped at the lone tear that fell from my eye.

  “I get that,” Keri said as she nodded. “This is a stupid example, but it’s like when I go to a club and I happen to run into someone that I knew from high school. Sometimes I want to be around that person because it feels like I’ve known them forever. And there’s this connection there that this person knows me differently than anyone else in the room does.”

  “Even if that’s not entirely true?” I asked, for her sake as much as my own.

  “Yeah, I guess. It’s just more of a feeling of familiarity and comfort.”

  “So then, what if all I’m feeling is exactly that and it’s not real? What if I’m just feeling lost in the moment, or all caught up in the sweetness of our innocent past?”

  Keri moved her hand and smacked my knee. “Is that what you really think it is?”

  I looked away. “Not really.”

  “Thank God, ’cause I didn’t want to have to punch you. Stop being dumb and call the guy. Or better yet, invite him over so I can make an ass of myself again.”

  Chuckling, I smiled at her. “I told him I’d call him tomorrow.”

  “Well, is that him who keeps blowing up your phone?” She looked pointedly at my phone, referring to the few times it had lit up during our conversation.

  I reached for the phone and glanced at it. “Text messages.”

  Her lips curved into a sly smile. “I’m not going to tell you what to do.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “You’re right, I am.” She sucked in a breath. “You better text him back. This is Walker Rhodes we’re talking about. Which, speaking of…” She raised a hand in the air and crinkled her brow. “What about this reputation of his? Please tell me you asked him about it, because I don’t think I could take my roomie being tabloi
d fodder. And you know you will be. How are you going to handle that?”

  “I’ll be fine. I don’t care about the tabloids.” Sitting here in the safety of my living room, imagining potential future tabloid articles didn’t bother me. I figured I could handle anything they dished out, if they dished at all.

  “You say that now.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I do. So when I start freaking out, remind me that I don’t care.”

  She giggled. “Done.”

  I filled her in on all the details of Walker’s past and the things he had confessed to me about his friends and his mom. She nodded vigorously, insisting that it all made perfect and total sense. Keri hopped on the Walker train before tickets were even available for purchase. She loved this entire scenario which was now my life, and refused to feel bad about that fact.

  “Honestly, Madison, I know you may not see it right now, but this is all pretty amazing. Your story is romantic as hell, and when people find out about it, they’re all going to storm the beaches of Malibu in search of their own summer romances. I couldn’t have scripted anything this perfect if I tried. No one could.”

  I closed my eyes and smiled. “Trust me, Ker, I think it’s pretty amazing myself. Part of me still can’t believe it.”

  “Well, believe it.”

  After giving her a squeeze good night and thanking her for buying dinner, I stretched my arms over my head and sauntered into the kitchen, discarding my trash before heading toward my room.

  “Madison?” Keri’s voice made me pause and I angled my head back toward her. “You’ll get another job. I’ll help you look, okay? And I’ll talk to my dad to see if he knows anyone who needs an assistant.”

  “Thank you.” I pursed my lips together as I continued down the dimly lit hall, the realization that I could only deal with one thing at a time hitting me square in the face.

  “Now go get your man!” Her voice trailed down the hall and I went to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

  Glancing at the clock, I noted the time; a little after ten p.m. It was too late to look for work, but it wasn’t too late to deal with Walker. My heart flipped inside my chest. I could feel it dancing away—probably to one of his songs—as I pressed the buttons to call his number.

  He answered on the second ring. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “What are you talking about?” I giggled into the phone.

  “I told you that I’d be going nuts until I talked to you. You’re driving me crazy.”

  “And I told you I’d call you tomorrow. It’s not even tomorrow yet.”

  “It’s almost tomorrow.”

  I laughed and glanced at my clock again. “Not even close.”

  “You haven’t answered a single text.”

  “I was talking to Keri about everything.”

  Walker’s tone turned even more serious. “Listen to me, Madison. I can’t have you running away from me. I know you needed some time today to process and work through everything, but don’t push me away. I don’t like it. I want to be the one you run to, not the one you run from.”

  My defenses prickled at his bossiness. I didn’t normally like being told what to do, but in this case, I found myself liking his demands. “I’m not running away from you. I just needed a minute to work through my own head.”

  “You took hours.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.” I closed my eyes and shook my head, secretly enjoying how much he wanted me.

  “No. What’s ridiculous is how fucking crazy I am about you still. Even after all these years. The moment I saw you in the dark with that sparkly thing on your head, all of these buried emotions came rushing back. It’s cheesy and I sound like a girl, but it’s the truth. I’ve never once forgotten about you. Not completely.” He blew out a breath. “And now that you’re back in my life, I don’t plan on letting you get away from me again.”

  “There’s so much we don’t know about each other,” I admitted, one of my fears working its way to the surface. What if he’s not the same? What if I don’t like who he’s become? What if he doesn’t like me the way he thinks he does?

  “That’s true. But I want to get to know every single thing about you, to hear about every moment I’ve missed. I want inside your brain, your thoughts, your heart, your pants.”

  A loud laugh ripped from my chest at his last want. “You would.”

  “I’m male.”

  “I’m aware.”

  “So, when can I see you?”

  I smiled, my heart skipping a beat with his words. “Tomorrow. I’ll come to you.”

  “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  Before I could respond, he added, “And Madison, don’t overthink this. Okay? Don’t overthink us or our situation or our past. Just listen to your feelings and don’t try to stop them with logic. Promise me that.”

  How the hell could he be so in tune with me already? Maybe he was that good with women in general and I was just overly typical? Whatever it was, he was right on the money.

  “I promise.”

  “Good. Now go to sleep and then get your sweet ass over here.”

  I huffed out, “You sure are bossy. I don’t remember you being so bossy when we were teenagers.”

  His voice lowered to practically a growl. “I’m not bossy, I just know what I want. You’re lucky I’m not outside your door right now begging you to let me in. You’re lucky I’m willing to wait until tomorrow to see you.”

  “Fame’s changed you,” I said with a laugh.

  “No, it hasn’t. Good night, Sparkles.” My phone lit up and I pulled it away from my face to see that he had ended the call.

  He acted so sure, so determined, and I’d be damned if I wasn’t completely turned on by it all. Walker was so different from any of the other guys I dated in the past. They all acted like they were trying to be what you wanted them to be, or they put up such a fake front it was almost sickening to be around.

  There was nothing fake about Walker Rhodes. The question was, what was I going to do about it?

  I woke up bright and early the next morning, my body’s natural alarm clock prodding me awake, used to getting up at this ungodly hour for work. My mind raced with thoughts about how I shouldn’t be heading over to Walker’s house; instead, I should be spending my time looking for a new job.

  I sucked in a long, cleansing breath and slowly released it, determined to ignore logic for today. Allowing myself one day of reprieve to spend with Walker before I started hunting for a new job wouldn’t be a bad thing. I could survive that.

  The shrill reminder beep of my cell phone diverted my attention. Who texted this early in the morning?

  ARE YOU AWAKE YET?

  I smiled immediately before I noted the time. Walker had sent me this text message over an hour ago. Didn’t the guy ever sleep? Pressing my head against my pillow, I pulled the covers up to my chest and snuggled back into place. I groggily pressed in Walker’s number and waited as excited nerves ticked through me.

  “Finally,” he breathed into the phone.

  “It’s six in the morning.”

  “I couldn’t sleep. Are you coming over? Do you want me to come get you?”

  “I’ll come to you. Text me the directions.”

  Following the directions Walker sent me, my thoughts bounced the entire time between getting lost and not getting there soon enough. I turned left at the signal light near one of the most popular beach entrances in Malibu, and headed around the bend in the road, passing the public beach on the right and cliffs fronted with restaurants on the left. My car headed up a steep and winding cliff road before reaching the flattened top.

  Glancing to my right, I took a moment to appreciate the breathtaking ocean view. This was the kind of view that dreams were made of. Very expensive dreams.

  I drove slowly down the street, passing houses on either side of the road. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I was in a regular suburban neighbo
rhood. But I did know better. The address Walker provided came into view and I put on my blinker, pulling into the gated driveway. Punching in the code he’d given me onto a large silver keypad, I watched as the black iron gates sprang to life, opening wide before I sped in.

  Walker was standing on his porch waiting for me, and my stomach flipped at the sight of him. Keeping my eyes on the circular drive, I pulled to a stop in front of a ranch-style single-story home. It was beautiful in its simplicity. Just like his concert had been.

  After I put my car in park and set the emergency brake, Walker opened my door for me and reached for my hand to help me out. I looked up at him, my eyes wide as I stood up and said, “Wow. It’s beautiful.” Pivoting in the driveway, I took in the gardens surrounding the house and the fountain in front of the entryway.

  “Wait until you see the view.” He smiled like a little boy and pulled me through the front door.

  Glass windows stretched from floor to ceiling, allowing for an unobstructed view of the water and the Catalina Islands. It was breathtaking and I stopped mid-step to let it all sink in. Just yesterday morning I was fighting with my boss, certain I had killed my career, and now I was in Walker’s beautiful beach home, thankful I wasn’t anywhere else. When he pulled his long-sleeved shirt off, revealing a tight T-shirt underneath, I was even more thankful.

  “Do you like it?” he asked, meaning the view, but in my mind I currently had two things of beauty to look at.

  “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I’d never want to leave.”

  He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around me as I pressed my back against his chest. “You don’t have to.” Then he kissed the side of my neck, and I suppressed at shiver at the tingles his touch gave me.

  Pulling away from me, he said simply, “Sit,” so I made myself comfortable on the nearest sofa. “Can I get you anything to drink? Water, soda?”

  “I’m okay, thanks.”

  The cushion next to me shifted with Walker’s weight as he sat. “We haven’t even talked about your job yet and what happened yesterday. I want to hear everything.”

  Walker’s cell phone rang and he glanced down at the flashing screen before excusing himself to answer it. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.”