by Tonya Brooks
“I didn't treat you like a lady,” he said harsher than he had intended. “You deserved so much better and I was too damn desperate for you to understand.”
Refusing to let him shoulder the blame, she pointed out, “I was so afraid I'd lose my nerve or you'd change your mind, that I attacked you the first time. You really didn't have a lot of choice in the matter.” She lifted the mangled handkerchief and wiped the tears from his face with a gentle touch, much as she had done with their son when he was younger. “I'm just glad I had enough sense to choose you.”
He could not believe she had just said that. Looking down into her beautiful face, he was stunned to see that she was completely serious. “How can you say that after everything I've put you through?” He asked incredulously.
“Because you gave me Jed,” she said simply. “He was worth it all.”
Matt stared at her in absolute astonishment. “You are the strongest, bravest, most amazing woman I've ever known,” he said in complete awe. “You've been through hell and you can still forgive me for making matters even worse. I don't blame you for leaving me, Harley. God knows, I don't deserve a woman like you.”
“You deserve so much more,” she corrected. “You're a wonderful, caring man, Matthew. You deserve a woman who can share your passion and give you a house full of children to spoil.”
“I already have a son,” he reminded her somberly. “And his mother is the only woman I've ever really wanted.”
“You know why that's not possible.” Harley said sadly and there was genuine regret in her voice. “At least now I know for sure that I'll never be able to have a normal relationship.” She admitted in resignation as she removed the engagement ring from her finger and dropped it in the ashtray built into the door. “It's just as well that I found out before I married Donald.”
Matt was elated to hear that the fiancé was on his way out of the picture, but he wasn't willing to give up. He had too damn much to lose. “If you'll stay with me, I swear I'll never touch you again,” he offered quietly. “I'll do whatever it takes to keep you, Harley. Even if it means a lifetime of celibacy.”
Now it was her turn to be incredulous. Matthew had a voracious sexual appetite and she knew it. For him to even make such an offer was totally out of character and it would be an impossible promise to keep. “We're not talking about dancing, Matthew.” Harley said dryly. “You can't just give up sex and I damn sure couldn't handle you sleeping with other women again.”
“I don't want another woman,” he insisted. “Hell, the only reason I cheated on you before was because I thought you still wanted Mark. I never would have done it if I'd known why you wouldn't sleep with me.”
“It wouldn't work,” she said flatly and refused to even consider such a ridiculous notion.
“Why the hell not?” He demanded in frustration.
“Because even knowing what would happen if we made love, I still want you,” she shot back in complete honesty.
“You do?” Matt asked in amazement.
“I do.” Harley confirmed irritably. “Last night was wonderful right up until... well, you know.”
Matt's hopes soared. He still had a chance. “It doesn't have to be like that, baby,” he hastily assured her, his heart thumping erratically. “You know I can be very gentle.” She looked doubtful but didn't argue, so he added persuasively, “Now that I know the truth, do you really believe I'd do anything to frighten you?”
Harley knew he wouldn't, but fear was a powerful deterrent. “Are you sure you could stop?” She asked in a combination of hope and wariness.
“Even if it killed me,” Matt swore because he knew it damn well would.
More than anything, Harley wanted to be able to overcome her fear and have a normal relationship with a man and Matthew was offering to help her do just that. She looked into his midnight eyes and knew with unwavering certainty that she could trust him. “I'd like to try,” she admitted nervously and slid her hand sensuously up his rock hard thigh.
“Now?” He asked in stunned disbelief.
“Before I lose my nerve,” she confirmed.
“We need a bed,” he decided, but there was no way he could take her home to his. They were going to need a hell of a lot more privacy than a house full of people allowed. He couldn't take her to the apartment that he kept just for this purpose either. Now that she was willing to trust him, that was the last thing she needed to know about, for damn sure.
Besides, there was no way in hell he could take his wife to the place where he'd had sex with countless women. It wasn't decent. The only option left was a motel and he knew it would be all over town by morning if he chose one of the local ones. That meant he was gonna have to drive all the way down to the beach and run the risk of Harley changing her mind.
“We're in a bed on wheels.” Harley pointed out.
The car was the best choice, and it wasn't like they hadn't done it before. Matt stared into her sapphire eyes and saw no fear there, just complete trust and a hint of the desire that she had mentioned. His hand held a noticeable tremble as it lifted to caress her cheek. “You'll tell me if I do anything you don't like?”
“Yes.”
Matt had a great deal of sexual experience and had never had any doubts about his ability to please a woman, but then he'd never been in this position before. His actions tonight would either make or break their future together. Not to mention the all important fact that Harley trusted him to help her forget the traumatic violation that she had suffered, and the enormity of that alone was staggering.
“God, baby, I'm as nervous as a virgin,” he admitted shakily.
“I have complete confidence in you, Matthew,” she said with a smile and leaned up to kiss him.
Matt took command of the kiss and made love to her mouth as gently and tenderly as he planned to do with her body. His hand slid slowly upward until he cupped her breast and when his thumb brushed lightly over her nipple, he felt it harden in response. God, she was so responsive to his slightest touch. He silently prayed for the will power to take it as slow as she needed him to.
He felt Harley smile against his mouth as she slid one hand behind his neck, her fingers curling into his hair, and took that as a positive sign. He found the zipper that ran down the side of her dress with unerring accuracy and slid it slowly down before he eased the material off of her shoulders and down to her waist. “Do you ever wear a bra?” Matt wondered aloud as he drank in the sight of her perfect breasts and recalled she hadn't worn undergarments either time they'd made love.
“Never,” she admitted as she lifted her hips for him to slide the dress from under her and down her legs. “After he used them to tie me up and gag me, the thought of wearing them again was unbearable. Do you mind that I don't?” Harley asked curiously. Donald had insisted that she start wearing a bra so she'd look completely respectable. Apparently, an attorney’s wife had to project a certain image and she had dreaded the thought of it.
“God, no,” he said on a choked laugh that she would even ask him such a ridiculous question. Matt preferred having easy access to her body. Besides, there was no way in hell he'd ever expect her to wear something that would remind her of the brutal attack.
“Good,” she smiled in relief as she scooted down in the seat until she was stretched out before him in open invitation. Harley lifted her hand to caress his cheek. “Make love to me, Matthew.”
He'd never heard sweeter words and they filled his anguished soul. She looked like a fallen angel lying there naked, the mane of blonde hair spread out across the seat and that naughty smile on her lips. “You are so perfect,” he breathed and studied her body as intently as if it were a work of art.
“Kiss me,” she pleaded a bit nervously, mesmerized by the look in his eyes.
Matt leaned over her, his weight braced on his forearms as he kissed her tenderly, allowing only a minute amount of the hunger he felt to surface. “I'm going to kiss every beautiful inch of you.” He promised and his
lips began a slow, lingering path down her body, intent on bringing pleasure to every glorious inch that had once known pain.
His sole purpose was to erase the memory of the violation and brutal beating that had been inflicted on her and replace it with one that she'd want to remember, as he should have done thirteen years ago. Relying on every ounce of expertise he possessed, he lavished attention on her breasts with his hands and mouth until she moaned deep in her throat and grasped his head in her hands, her nails grazing his scalp.
He left her breasts with some reluctance and moved down toward her flat abdomen to twirl his tongue around her navel before dipping inside, and honest to God, she purred. Thrilled with her response and encouraged that everything was going smoothly so far, Matt nibbled his way leisurely down her right leg and back up her left. He eased her long, luscious legs apart to place a carnal kiss at the juncture of her thighs and smiled at her gasp of pleasure.
Harley's body began to writhe of its own accord under his gentle ministrations and she closed her eyes in pure ecstasy, her hips undulating instinctively to the rhythm he had set. Her fingers gripped the supple leather seat, her nails raking over it as the heat coiling in her abdomen became nearly unbearable. “Matthew,” she gasped, her heart hammering in her chest as she pleaded with him to release her from the exquisite torture. “Matthew, please!”
Oh, yeah. She was ready. Replacing his mouth with his hand, Matt slid two fingers inside her silken heat and placed his thumb over the sensitive nubbin to begin a gentle rotating motion that sent her over the edge almost instantly. He watched in extreme pleasure and satisfaction as Harley came completely unglued.
Her hands lifted to tangle in her hair, her body writhing uncontrollably, her lips parted as her breath came in short pants and moans. Her eyes opened and she gazed up at him with a slightly wild look just before she cried his name. The climax washed over her in wave after wave that left her trembling helplessly in its wake.
“My God,” Harley gasped in awe when she had the air to breathe again. That had been the most amazing experience of her life. It was no wonder that Matthew had lost control. How the hell was a person supposed to be able to control something as powerful as that?
“You okay, baby?” Matt asked in concern as he stretched out on his side next to her, gently brushing the hair from her face.
“I'm a hell of a lot better than okay,” she smiled up at him and realized that he was still dressed. Harley sat up, pushed him onto his back and began to unbutton his shirt. “My turn,” she said with a smile that made him nervous.
God help him if that smile was an indicator of her intentions. Matt knew he only had so much self-control and Harley was damn good at destroying it without even trying. He also knew that familiarizing herself with his body would help her relax even more. He prayed for the strength to just lie there and let her do as she pleased.
Harley removed his clothes with more haste than finesse and sat there staring at him in sheer feminine appreciation. She'd spent a lot of time on the beach and seen some very impressive hard bodies, but none of them could compare to the man before her. “You have the most magnificent body I've ever seen,” she breathed as her hand caressed his muscular chest.
Even though he was more than pleased that she found him physically appealing, Matt didn’t even want to think about the other men she had seen and he tamped down the surge of jealousy the compliment inspired. “It's all yours, baby,” he offered huskily. “Do anything you want with it.”
That naughty little smile grew as her eyes feasted on him hungrily. “Anything?” She asked hopefully as her hand slid slowly down his rippling muscles.
He swallowed hard and confirmed somewhat hoarsely, “Anything.”
Her answering laugh was so deliciously wicked it sent a shiver up his spine. When her fingertips trailed lightly over his erection, it lifted in response to her touch and she focused her complete attention on it. Matt nearly groaned aloud. God help him. From the look on her face, Harley had found a new toy and she was going to play with it for as long as he could take it. As much as he needed her, that wouldn't be long.
She lifted it gently and wrapped her hand around the breadth of him as his fists tightened to a white knuckled grip. Matt began to fervently pray for strength when her other hand wrapped around him as well. He exhaled harshly when her tongue traced the sensitive head, and then sucked in air like a drowning man when her mouth closed over him. When she applied gentle suction and lifted her mouth slowly upward, he thought he was going to lose it. When Harley slowly lowered her mouth down and began the upward climb again, lightly raking her teeth over him, he did lose it.
Knowing there was only one thing he could do at this point, Matt reached down and lifted her astride his hips. His throbbing erection slid smoothly into her silken depths and they both gasped in pleasure. Calling on every ounce of self-control he had, he said hoarsely, “Make love to me, baby.”
Harley stared down at him wide eyed and then her lips curved in a brilliant smile as realization dawned. Matthew was determined not to frighten her so he was letting her make love to him this time. Unfortunately, she had no idea how. She placed her hands against his chest to balance herself and rocked her pelvis back and forth against his to get a firm seat. A gasp of sheer pleasure slid past her lips. Oh, God. It felt so good that she tried it again. And again. And then she just kept doing it because it felt too good to stop.
Matt groaned at the unbelievable sensations she was sending through him. He'd never felt anything like it. God, it was incredible. She was so hot and tight and damn, her muscles kept contracting around him, drawing him deeper, squeezing him tighter, until he didn't know where she started and he stopped. No one had ever moved like that before and he wondered how the hell she had discovered something so erotic. Biting back a curse, he pushed the thought of Harley with another man firmly out of his mind.
Lifting his hips just a bit to press himself even deeper, he heard her gasp become a low moan of pleasure. His movement had caused her sensitive nubbin to rub more firmly against his pelvis and the sensation intensified her own gratification. Her hips began to rock faster and Matt knew he had to do something quick. Her wildness was feeding his and that definitely wasn't a good idea under the circumstances.
Before Harley knew what had happened, she was flat on her back under him.
“I promised you... slow and gentle,” he said raggedly and fought his body’s natural inclination to pick up where she had left off. He began to move with deliberate gentleness, slowly, tenderly within her, and hell, yeah, it was wonderful, but it damn sure wasn't what either of them wanted right then.
Harley locked her legs around his and tried to increase his tempo without success. “Matthew, I need you,” she said desperately.
“I won't scare you again,” he swore as much to himself as to her and forced his body to keep up the same teasing pace.
Harley grasped his firm rear with both hands and said with urgency, “I'm not afraid of you.”
Please, God, let it be true, he silently begged. Matt stared down into her beautiful face and commanded in a voice raw with need, “Look at me, Harley. Open your eyes and look at me.” When she obeyed, he saw no fear. There was nothing there but desire and frustration. “Are you sure?”
“I need you!” She demanded, her nails digging into his flesh.
Never taking his eyes from hers, Matt increased the pace as much as he dared and began to move harder, faster, deeper and she went wild beneath him, demanding everything he had to give and giving him her all in return. Staring down at the wanton creature she had become, fueled his desire to a fevered pitch, and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed to restrain himself from taking her as he had before.
That was exactly what Harley wanted by this point and she was determined to have it. Grasping his head with her hands, she stared up at him with a wild look in her eyes and cried in desperation, “Matthew, please... stop treating me like a lady!”
He gave her what she asked for, and within seconds she screamed his name and clenched his arms fiercely as a bolt of white hot heat pierced her and she experienced a climax more powerful than she had imagined possible. Matt slammed his body into hers one last time, with just enough restraint to keep from shoving her through the back of the seat, as his body was racked with the same incredible release that she was experiencing.
Resting his forehead on her chest, his breath coming in harsh gasps, he asked hoarsely, “Are you alright, baby?”
Her smile said more than words ever could to reassure him. “That was amazing.” She breathed in reverence and wrapped her arms around him; loathe for the moment to end. Harley had never felt so connected to another person before and her heart filled with love for him all over again.
Matt laughed softly, dizzy with relief and pleasure as he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. He placed a tender kiss on her brow and hugged her tightly. “You're sure I didn't scare you?”
“You didn't,” she smiled down at him and brushed the sweat dampened hair off of his forehead. “If I'd known it could be like this, there's no way in hell you would have gotten rid of me. No wonder Cheryl wouldn't quit chasing you.”
He frowned at that. “It was never like this with anyone else, Harley.” Matt informed her seriously. “Only with you.”
She smiled and laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “I'm glad.”
Matt kissed her temple and his smile matched hers. “Me, too.”
He had shown her just how wonderful making love could be and Harley knew beyond a doubt that she'd never fear his touch again. She placed a tender kiss on his chest and said softly, sincerely, “Thank you, Matthew.”
His burdened soul found solace because he had managed to ease her pain and hopefully, erase the traumatic memory from her mind. “You're welcome,” he whispered emotionally.
