There were no puffy, dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights, as there were beneath hers. When she’d grumpily asked how he’d been sleeping, he’d said cheerfully, “Never better.” She believed him. If anything, he looked healthier and seemed happier than he had when she’d first met him.
She couldn’t even goad him into an argument. She found she missed the arguments almost as much as she missed his kisses.
“This isn’t working,” she announced that night as she prepared dinner for the three of them at his place.
He glanced up from the blueprint he was studying at the kitchen counter. “What’s wrong with it? It smells great.”
She snatched the blueprint away and tossed it across the room. “I am not talking about dinner!”
“Okay,” he said cautiously. “What’s the problem?”
“I am not your housekeeper.”
“I never suggested that you were.”
“Then why am I over here every night cooking dinner?”
“We could come to your place, if that would be easier,” he offered cheerfully.
She threw a plate across the room and watched in fascinated horror as it shattered. She never threw things. She discussed things in a quiet, rational tone. At least she always had in the past.
“You idiot,” she shouted. “You are missing the point.” She picked up another plate. He caught her wrist.
“If you throw any more, we’ll have to eat at your place. I’ll be out of dishes. Care to tell me what this is really about.”
“It’s about us. I’ve known you barely a month and you’re already taking me for granted.”
“Liz, I do not take you for granted. I appreciate all the time we spend together. We have a lot of fun. You’re a great cook.”
“See what I mean. Who cares if I’m a great cook?”
“You were the one who said you didn’t want to go out to dinner so much, that you enjoyed cooking.”
“Would you get that pea-brain of yours away from your stomach and think about us for a minute.”
“Us?”
“Yes, us. You’re not exactly courting me anymore.”
“Courting you? Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you tell me that you had no intention of ever becoming involved in another relationship? Didn’t we agree to just be friends?”
“Yes, but…”
“Are you telling me you’ve changed your mind?” There was a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes when he said it. She barely noticed. She was too intent on expressing the rage that had been building for days now.
“No. Yes. Dammit, Todd, I can’t even think with you around.”
“I’d leave,” he said reasonably, “but it’s my place.”
“Then I’ll go.”
To her astonishment and absolute fury, he didn’t try to stop her. He did call her at midnight to whisper goodnight. He was definitely trying to drive her crazy.
Two days after Liz had stalked out of his kitchen in a huff, Todd was bent over a sheet of figures on cost overruns when Kevin came to stand beside him.
“Can it wait, son?” he asked, fighting as always to make sure the numbers were being correctly interpreted by his mind. He had less trouble with math than he did with reading, but he still didn’t trust himself. A distraction was the last thing he needed.
“Sure. I guess so,” Kevin said, but didn’t move.
Todd glanced at him and pushed aside the papers. “Why do I have the feeling I’d better listen now? Is everything okay?”
Kevin shifted uneasily from foot to foot. “I did something in school today. I think maybe you’re going to be mad about it.”
Todd’s heart sank. From the reports he’d gotten from Liz lately, he’d thought Kevin’s days of troublemaking were behind him. “Go on.”
“I volunteered you for something.”
Cautious relief eased through him. “What exactly did you volunteer me for?”
“I said you’d be one of our room mothers,” Kevin blurted, watching him warily.
Todd’s eyebrows shot up at that.
“I mean I know you’d be a room father, but that’s not what they call them. Will you do it?”
“What exactly does a room mother do?”
“Helps with parties and field trips and stuff.”
“For the whole year?”
“Yeah. The kids all think it’ll be really neat to have a father do it for a change.”
Todd sensed that the real issue had been Kevin’s desperate desire to be like the other kids. He didn’t have a mother to offer up for service, so he’d presented his father as the logical alternative.
Todd found he was torn between annoyance and delight. “Is there something special coming up that will require my presence? You know I have to plan ahead if I’m going to be away from work.”
Kevin’s face lit up. “Then you’ll do it? You’ll really do it?” He was practically bouncing up and down in his excitement. Todd felt his heart flip over. How much had Sarah’s abandonment cost his son? Would he be able to make up for all the big things as easily as he’d made up for this little one?
“I’ll do it,” he promised. Even if he would feel like a damned fool. Room mother, indeed. Liz had probably been chuckling all afternoon. “I’ll call Mrs. Gentry and work out the details.”
“Great, Dad,” Kevin said, throwing his arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. A lump of unexpected emotion lodged in Todd’s throat.
“Dad, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Are you and Mrs. Gentry gonna get married?”
Todd swallowed hard. Out of the mouths of babes… “Son, where would you get an idea like that?”
“You see her all the time and I even saw you kiss her once. I figured maybe you were going to get married.”
“And how would you feel if we did?”
Kevin shrugged. “It’d be neat, I guess. I haven’t had a mom in a long time. I think she’d be a pretty good one to have. She takes real good care of us.”
“Well, son, I don’t know if you can understand this, but I do like Mrs. Gentry a whole lot. I’m just not so sure we’re ready to start talking about marriage.”
“Oh,” Kevin said, looking more disappointed than Todd had anticipated.
“I’ll make you a promise, though. If things change, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Okay, Dad. Thanks for being room mother,” he said and bounded off to share the news with one of his friends.
Todd sat for a long time afterwards staring into space. Marriage, huh? He couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed his mind with increasing frequency. Had Liz thought about it? Was that why she’d been so touchy lately? Had this crazy game they’d been playing finally forced her to acknowledge her feelings? He’d thought the other night that she was beginning to come around. The clatter of broken plates had actually warmed his heart. If she didn’t actually admit to a change in her way of thinking of them soon, he might very well have to resort to more aggressive tactics to remind her of exactly how terrific they were in each other’s arms.
With that resolution in mind, he picked up the phone and called her. As always, just the sound of her voice improved his mood. “Okay, lady, what’s this room-mother stuff?”
Her low chuckle sent flames leaping through him. “I thought you’d be thrilled. Not every child is so enthused about having a parent do the job. Kevin can hardly wait.”
“So I gathered. Do I have to wear an apron?”
“I think you can probably skip the apron, though you looked pretty cute in the one you wore to barbecue the chicken the night Hank and Gina came over.”
“When’s my first assignment?”
“Ahh, I see Kevin left the dirty work to me.”
“Uh-oh. I don’t think I’m going to like this.”
“Oh, I don’t know. How do you feel about baking cookies?”
“Baking cookies?” he asked in a slightly horrified whisper. Chicken o
n the grill was the height of his culinary expertise.
“Little pumpkins would be nice,” Liz continued, amusement lacing through her voice. “It should be fairly simple for a man of your exceptional talents. Maybe round sugar cookies with orange icing and cute little faces drawn on them. What do you think?”
“I think you and my son have lost your minds. I have never baked a cookie in my life. I’ll pick some up at the bakery.”
“Store-bought cookies are not the same,” Liz chided. “Especially for Halloween. Ask any third-grader.”
“Then you can plan on getting your cute little tush over here to help me.”
“Is that any way to talk to your son’s teacher?” she inquired with feigned indignation. He heard quite clearly her stifled laughter.
“When do you want the cookies?”
“The Halloween party is next Friday, after lunch.” Her tone turned serious. “Really, Todd, will this be okay for you? I know you have work to do.”
“It’s important to Kevin. I’ll make it okay. As for you, we have a date for Thursday night to bake cookies.”
“Should be interesting,” she said, which he assumed was an acceptance. It was also an incredible understatement. If he had his way, the night would involve more than browning a few cookies in the oven.
“By the way,” he added idly, “if you ever tell Hank about this, I will show your coworkers the pictures of you being dunked by a dolphin.” He hung up on her sputtered protest.
When Liz showed up at Todd’s the following Thursday at seven, she found him with flour up to his elbows and sprinkled across his nose. She brushed it away and gave him a quick kiss. A friendly kiss. She stiffened her spine resolutely and marched past him. “Any flour left for the cookies?”
“You really are pressing your luck,” he growled as he followed her back to the kitchen. She stood in the doorway and stared. All the starch went right out of her spine. There was a white dusting of flour everywhere and one suspicious looking glob on the floor. Todd apparently caught the direction of her gaze and muttered, “I dropped an egg.”
“Looks more like the whole carton.”
“Okay, so it was a couple of eggs.”
She found the fact that he was throwing himself into the project with such abandon a little touching. For all his grumbling, she had a feeling he was enjoying the fact that Kevin had wanted him involved in his school activities. She hoped he also realized that it was another sign of Kevin’s growing adaptation.
Looking around again at his enthusiastic efforts, she shook her head. She had a hunch she should have let him buy the cookies.
She dusted off a stool by the counter and sat down. “Since everything’s obviously under control, I think I’ll just watch awhile.”
“Don’t be sarcastic, sweetheart. Roll up your sleeves and get to work. I’ve already sifted the flour.”
“Yes. I can see that.”
He shot her a venomous look. She grinned and reached for the cookbook. “Let’s see now. Two cups of sifted flour.”
“I’m tripling the recipe.”
“Good God!”
“Kids eat a lot of cookies, right? Besides we may lose a few until I get this right.”
“Smart thinking.”
“Thank you.”
“Have you added the sugar?”
“Done.”
“Butter?”
“Here.”
“A kiss?”
His head shot up. She wondered where the devil that had come from. She tried for a nonchalant shrug. “Just wanted to be sure you were paying attention.”
Before she realized what he intended, he moved around the counter, circled her waist with his arms and covered her mouth. There was no time to protest that she’d only been teasing. And there was nothing light-hearted about Todd’s kiss. It was every bit as greedy and soul-shattering as the ones she’d recalled. The last of her cool resistance melted away, until she was warm and pliable in his arms. How had she survived the last few weeks of denial? When she was breathless and limp, he stepped back with a satisfied smirk.
“I think I like that ingredient the best.”
“Oh, yes,” she whispered, her eyes locked with his. If she had her way this was just the first of many. They would overdose on kisses. They would drop the pretenses, go with the flow, whatever the current vernacular was for admitting that she couldn’t go on a minute longer without knowing what it would be like to have Todd caress her and love her. It was several excruciating, timeless minutes later when she finally dragged her attention back to the recipe.
The first batch of cookies was finally in the oven. The rest were laid out on cookie sheets waiting. Todd poured them each a cup of coffee and sat down beside her at the counter. Liz held the warm mug in both hands and sipped slowly, not liking the unexpected direction of her thoughts. Why was there always this one part of her brain that insisted on being sensible? Why did sanity have to creep in, just when she was ready to experience the glory of giving in to temptation?
She tried very hard to tell her brain to mind its own damned business. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be listening. The nagging thought was something she hadn’t been able to shake ever since Kevin had volunteered his father to be room mother.
“Todd,” she began finally.
“Oh, dear. I don’t like the sound of this,” he said.
“I haven’t said anything yet.”
“But you’re going to, and that tone tells me it’s not good news.”
“It’s not bad news exactly. It’s just a question.”
“Go on.”
“Have you ever heard from Sarah?”
The look he turned on her was appalled. “Where did that come from?”
“I just wondered. You’ve never really said.”
“No. The divorce was handled by our attorneys. She didn’t contest it. I have no idea where she is.”
That was good, she supposed. Or was it? She took a deep breath and reached over to put her hand on his. He turned his hand palm up and enfolded hers.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked softly.
She lifted troubled eyes to his. “Do you think maybe you should try to find her?”
He released her hand and stood up so fast the stool went spinning and crashed into the counter. “Are you out of your mind?” he exploded. “Why would I want to do that?”
“For Kevin’s sake,” she said simply, then went on with a rush before he could snap her head off. “Maybe he needs to know his mother. Not live with her or anything like that. Just get to know her.”
“You seem to be forgetting one little thing: Sarah wanted nothing to do with Kevin.”
“It’s been a long time. Maybe she misses him. Maybe she’s sorry she left.”
“She knows where to find us.”
“Todd, don’t let your pride stand in the way of what might be best for Kevin.”
“How can knowing a self-involved, uncaring woman like Sarah possibly be best for him?”
“She’s his mother,” she repeated staunchly. “He has a right to find out about her for himself.”
“When he’s older, I won’t try to stop him. But now? No way. It would just be asking for more heartache. What the hell put this idea into your head? Was it this room-mother nonsense?”
“I guess so. It just seemed as though he wanted so badly to be like all the other kids.”
Todd looked crushed. He stalked over to the oven and yanked out the trays of cookies, replacing them with the next batch. Liz waited. She could see the agony of indecision etched on his face. When he came back, he pulled her into his arms and held her close, his face buried in her hair. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and knew that, in the end, his strength would bring him to the right decision.
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
“That’s all I can possibly ask.”
He put a finger under her chin and tilted her head until he could look straight into her eyes.
“Is this by any chance the last big barrier between us?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I think maybe it is.”
“You don’t make it easy for a guy, you know that, don’t you?”
“That goes both ways. You’ve turned my life upside down, too.”
His arms tightened around her. “God, I love you.”
“Don’t say that,” she pleaded, but the words sang in her heart.
“She wants me to hunt for Sarah,” Todd told Hank the next morning. “Can you imagine? I told her it’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard, but she’s got this crazy notion that Kevin needs his mother.”
“Maybe she’s right,” Hank said, not looking up from the blueprints spread across the desktop.
Todd crumpled the soda can in his hand and threw it across the room. “Not you, too! Is everyone around me going crazy at once?” The can hit the wall and toppled neatly into the trash can.
“Nice shot,” Hank said. “It’s not such a crazy idea and not just for Kevin’s sake, either. Seems to me like a meeting with your ex might put a lot of ghosts to rest, once and for all.”
“I am not living with any blasted ghosts!”
“Aren’t you? You’ve been mooning around here over Liz for weeks now. If you ask me, the only reason you haven’t asked her to marry you is because you’re still scared to death that she’ll dump you the way that Sarah did.”
“Okay. I admit it. I’m scared. That’s because Liz hasn’t wanted anything more from me. She put up the barriers. It doesn’t have anything to do with ghosts or living in the past.”
“It does from where I sit. For some reason you’re equating Liz with that creature who walked out on you. She may even sense that. Women have a way of trying to protect themselves when they see pain lurking on the horizon. If you ask me, she’s been pretty smart to keep her distance. Deep down, you’ve always believed that every woman is just as shallow as Sarah.”
“Liz is not like that.”
“I believe that. I don’t think you do.”
“Dammit, where do you get off telling me what I believe?”
“Hey, you brought this up. I’ll just ask one more thing and then I’ll butt out. Have you told her about your dyslexia?”
Miss Liz's Passion Page 13
