by A. J. Jacobs
hammering out approach to, 11, 253-57, 283
heavenly reward promised in, 114
on obedience to human
institutions, 283-84
polygamy not overturned by, 136 see also Bible; specific books New York City:
beards observed at fertility clinics of, 117
coveting as energizer of, 26
multicellular organisms in tap water of, 140
return of the neorighteous to, 227-28
70 percent of talk in, 99
traffic signals as helpful hints in, 284
ultrareligious compatriots in, 201 walking around with exposed cash in, 197
New York City Atheists, 96-98
New Yorker, 74, 338
New York Times, 17, 71, 192, 264, 271, 272, 327, 340
Nicodemus, "born again" confusing to, 290-91
Nimoy, Leonard, racy use of tefillin by, 198
9/11, God's judgment as cause of, 113, 260
1976 Plymouth Valiant, odor of sanctity in, 8
Nineveh, Jonah's refusal to preach to, 83
Ninth Commandment, 54
see also perjury
Noah:
as first flesh eater, 307
Ham's mocking of, 242-43
if he were alive today, 152
Noah's Ark, 59-60, 62, 123, 218, 259 biblical instructions for building of (cubits, gopher wood, etc.), 77
cute toys based on, 116
Darwinian evolution at odds with, 67
Noah's Ark: A Feasibility Study, 59-60
animal exercise, ventilation system, explosive gases covered in, 59
Numbers, Book of:
on attaching blue thread to tassels, 180
on the perfect red heifer, 188 on those who fell on their faces, 101
on wearing tassels, 6
obsessive-compulsive disorder ( OCD), 36, 48-49, 148
religions preeminent in, 148
October religious holidays, 78
Office Space, 26
Old Testament, 335
creationism tied to, 56
see also Hebrew Bible; Torah; specific books
olive oil lamps, 304
Onan, eponymous sin pinned on, 146,
338
144,000 pious souls, Heaven reserved
for, 75
Ono, Yoko, guru troubles of, 102 oral laws:
Aunt Kate's reproachful reminder
of, 12
received by Moses on
mountaintop, 69
theological minimalist rejection
of, 69
Origen, over-hasty self-castration of,
10
Orthodox Jews, see Jews, Orthodox oxen, sacrifice of, 8
paganism, 96, 151, 267
Palestinians, 217
Palm Treo, wrongs recorded as
"Stuff" on, 273-74
pantheism, 103, 152-53, 212
paper cuts, painless slaughter likened
to, 162
parenting, 39-41
of Bart Simpson vs. Flanders kids, 126
cultist chill in, 7, 46, 103-4
parenting (cont.)
dangers in loosey-goosey style of, 125-26
favoritism toward a twin in, 237- 40, 316-17
at feeding time, 55
free will and Purell applied in, 109
hand spared "as object of love" in, 40
as inevitably dishonest, 55-56
Nerf bat used with predictable results in, 40-41
nightmare scenario in, 39
overprotectiveness in, 108-9, 310-11
painful battles in, 278-79
predominance of males in, 229-30
shift away from extreme
individualism in, 146
transparency tried in, 55-56
walloping as H-bomb of, 40 parents, honoring of, 8, 73, 140, 241-43
by ancient Israelites, 241
with biblical year in mind, 242-43
guilt feelings about, 241-42 Pascal, Blaise, 249
Pascal's wager, 249
Passover, 87, 211
Passover seder, Jacobs family, 233-36
AJ's grandmother's childhood memories read at, 235-36
AJ's raiment at, 234
doorposts painted with lamb's blood at, 226, 235, 339
ex-uncle's maniacal charisma needed at, 234
past secular versions of, 233 Paul, Apostle:
celibacy recommended by, 134, 286
"Circumcise the heart" advised by, 319-20
paganism, not homosexuality, seen as target of, 267
on short hair for men, 11, 181
as talking robot, 58
see also specific epistles
Paul (friend), 6, 231
Pay It Forward, 310
payot (side locks), 181-82, 202
cute Israeli blond's fetish for fondling of, 288
peace, striving for, 256
Penuel, Jacob's divine wrestle at, 53
People magazine, 108, 332
people who look or act like:
Garth Brooks, 161
Gary Busey (if Gary Busey had his hair parted in the middle), 75 George Burns, 138
Jack Nicholson (after electroshock therapy in Cuckoo's Nest), 188 Janis Joplin (thirty-five years later), 115
Joe Torre, 270
Kaczynski, Lincoln, or Moses, 3 Laurel and Hardy, 86
Nick Nolte (after a couple of vodka tonics), 294
Oscar de la Hoya, 49
Paul Reubens, 60
Ray Liotta (in Goodfellas), 310 Sean Penn (in I Am Sam), 152 Steve Buscemi, 297
a strapping Jackie Mason, 97 they've just been circumcised, 55 Thomas Jefferson, 4
an ultrareligious Donald Trump, 224
Perelman, Ron, 167
Perez and Zerah, 147, 315
perjury, penalty for, 91
Perkins, Bill, 287
Peter, First Epistle of:
on the end being at hand, 327 on obedience to the emperor, 283
Peters, Bill, 64
Pharisees, 198, 219
sanctimonious legalism of, 119
Philistines, Isaac's strategem against, 144
Phillips, Kevin, 335
pigeons, kosher, for mandated mother and egg separation, 184, 185-88
"pigskin," overliteralization of, 203, 209
pig's valves, life trumps all with, 336 Pirkei Avot: Ethics of the Fathers, 244 Playboy, Magic Marker censorship of, 130, 302
playing cards, avoiding contact with, 203
polygamy, 135-38, 187, 208, 337-38 ancient Israelite practice of, 135 Bible study helpful in arranging for, 137
how to get the point across to wives in, 137-38
persecution against, 138
telling prospective second wife about the present wife in, 137
polytheism, 183, 242
pop culture:
creationist monitoring of, 61 famed landmarks of, 132
population boom, twins a
contribution to, 159
Portnoy, Eddy, 23
AJ told of animal sacrifice venue over lunch with, 160
poverty, the poor, 6, 197
global, 64-65
Red-letter Christian views on, 269-71
sleep-induced, 106-7
prayer, 21-22
appealing repetitions of, 148 in bathroom Sabbath, 124
cognitive dissonance
demonstrated in, 21
without conviction, 192-93
decompression effect of, 127 "God willing," 236-37
of grace, before or after meals, 95, 337
intercessory, 127-28
for Jasper, 247
mojo at work by, 152
prefabricated, 53
punctual attendance at, 142 as sacrifice of time, 208
scheduling of, 53, 126
for serpent handlers, 299
the Shema, 155, 242
for spiritual guidance, 263
study indicating potentially poor effects of, 128
thanksgiving, 94-96, 208,
322-23, 329, 331
when introducing one's first wife to polygamy, 137
pregnancy:
long-awaited, good things
resulting from, 19-20
as Lot's surprise, 233
real, undisputed, and multiple, 158-59, 312
in Tamar's tale, 146-47
Previn, Soon-Yi, 28
prodigal son, parable of, 274-75 profanity, 281-83
see also forbidden speech
Promised Land, 173
prophets:
as ancient David Blaines with orders from God, 88
false, with loincloths on their heads, 89
reading of, 37, 88-89
Prosperity Gospel, The, 273
prostitution, in Tamar's tale, 146-47 Protestantism, sola scriptura in, 70 Protestant Old Testament, 335
Protestant Reformation, 105
Proverbs, Book of:
on avoiding knowledge displays, 116
on avoiding wine and strong drink, 231, 232
on being slow to anger, 16, 80
on child rearing, 39-40, 108, 336
on frankness trumping flattery, 195
on he who is glad at calamity, 310
on how lust can undo one, 128
on how to come to a well-rested poverty, 106
King Solomon's practical guidance in, 10, 39-40, 137
on the Lord's keeping watch, 275
on not boasting about tomorrow, 236
on not despising one's neighbor, 115
Proverbs, Book of (cont.)
on the purposefulness of
everything, 205
on the rewards of righteousness, 249
on truth telling, 6, 53, 54
on walking with a forward gaze, 18
on weights and measures, 229 winking decried in, 205
on the wisdom of the humble, 30
Psalms, Book of:
on avoiding gossip, 99
evidence against global warming found in, 260
geocentricism also found in, 63 on God being with the righteous, 118
interactive deity in, 52
King David's authorship of, 137 "The Lord is all that" (hip-hop version), 9
on the Lord's life-giving precepts, 147
on monthly blowing the trumpet, 47
on playing the harp of ten strings, 167
on praise for the glory of the Lord, 207
on praying to God, 247
righteous urged to rejoice in, 250 on rising at midnight, 88
on thanking and glorifying the Lord, 219
"The Lord is my shepherd" (standard version), 21, 210 on unbelievers, 96
on unborn child, 308
on understanding God's precepts, 41
on wine gladdening the heart, 231
puns, winking with (antibiblical), 205
Purim, unobserved, 209
Puritans, Puritanism, 213
AJ's antisex streak in line with, 288
Epicureanism in biblical conflict with, 232, 239
neo-, 129
Sabbath taken seriously by, 71-72
purity laws, 48-52
fascinating but complex history of, in eight lines, 51
home life challenged by, 51-52 Judaic fixation with, 148
male haircutter required for, 181 Orthodox take on, 50
Samaritan (superstrict), 218
Purpose-Driven Life, The (Warren), 272
Putnam, Robert, on "bowling alone," 214
Qohelet, see Ecclesiastes
rabbis, Sabbath "rest" explicated by, 12
rabbits:
inspire lively treatise on profanity, 281-83
Wascally Wabbit now in cross hairs of creationists, 61 what they eat is their own
business, 59, 166
Rachel (Julie's friend), reassurances of purity from, 49
racial intermarriage, creationist view of, 59
racism, a lesson from Jesus on, 328
Radical Honesty (Blanton), 196
ram's horn, see shofar
Reading the Bible Again for the First Time (Borg), 88, 284, 337, 338
Rebecca, as Isaac's pretended sister, 144
RECAP (Recover A Penis), 318
reconstructionism, extremist views of, 293
red heifer, 188-90, 192, 338
biblical description and ritual of, 188
end times and/or Jewish Messiah heralded by, 189
sticky issues in breeding of, 189-90
Red-letter Christians, 11, 67, 257, 269-71
Black-letter backlash to, 271 literalism of, 270
naming of, 270
political and social orientation of, 270
Prosperity Gospel seen as heresy by, 271
Reiner, Rob, Meathead role of, 93
religion(s):
absolute statements mocked by, 336
bowling alone or belonging in, 213-14
classifying OCD traits in, 148 compassionate, at their best, 245 dining with a spokesman for the arrogant side of, 221-25 losing control seen as slippery slope in, 103-4
picking and choosing in, see cafeteria religion
role of choice and responsibility in, 143, 251, 268, 332
science separate from, 67
unexpectedly mundane aspects of, 172
religious right:
homosexuality a cultural
obsession of, 266
political links of, 270, 271
radical teachings of Jesus ignored by, 270
religious study, relentless growth of reading list for, 29
Republican Party, religious right's ties to, 270, 271
Rescuing the Bible from
Fundamentalism (Spong), 290
Reuben, Jacob's anger with, 230
Revelation, Book of, futurist vs. pasthistorical view of, 191-92, 338-39
Richards, Elton ("pastor out to pasture"), 192
on Bible as divine snapshot, 328 on Falwell's Christianity vs. Jesus' message, 258
on four types of prayer (ACTS), 94-95
on how tithing should feel, 38 on inadequacy of Pascal's wager, 249
majestic food metaphors of, 13, 48, 327
on obedience to human vs. "higher" authority, 283-84 on verbal pollution, 157
Richman, Chaim, 190
Rick (cousin), 175
righteous idiocy, 118-19, 227-28, 310 ritual bath, 221, 240
rituals:
bird's nest, 185-88
dovetailing of AJ's OCD with, 148
foot washing, 30, 303-4
kaparot, 160-65
of obsessive gratitude, 268-69 off-the-rack vs. concocting your own, 148
of red heifer, 188
on starting the day, 141-42
tefillin wearing, 198-200
