by Pamela Yaye
Torn wrapping paper, greeting cards, colored ribbons and jumbo gift bags were sprawled about. Fruit-scented bath gels, shapely glass jars of whipped body cream, erotic massage oils and a variety of satin masks swallowed up the table, chairs and sofa.
“Thanks, Yvette. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me… I mean, us.”
She waved away his effusive praise. “Good luck,” she said with a small smile. She slide behind one of the doors, leaving him alone in the sweet-smelling room.
L.J. picked up the red-and-white tube that was lying in the middle of the floor. It was strawberry-flavored edible massage cream. Memories washed over him. He hadn’t even known such a thing existed until a few weeks ago. Now, he knew how something so insignificant could evoke sensations and enhance lovemaking.
Scared of where his thoughts would take him next, he cleared a space on the couch and sat down. He laced his fingers and rested his head in them. He wasn’t a praying man, but he needed all the help he could get. When ten and then fifteen minutes passed without any signs of Autumn, L.J. had no choice but to face the truth. She wasn’t coming.
L.J. sat with his head bowed, searching for the courage to leave. Once he walked back through the doors of the suite, he’d have to abandon all thoughts of them getting back together. And he wasn’t prepared to go there just yet.
Autumn inched the bathroom door open. She had dawdled inside, figuring if she took her time, he would grow tired of waiting and leave. No such luck. She should have known L.J. would still be here. He had a hard, unyielding will and even when the chips were stacked high against him, he refused to give in. It didn’t matter if he was playing a pickup game of basketball or proving those who doubted him wrong or trying to regain her trust, he gave a hundred and ten percent.
“When Yvette told me you were here, I thought I was dreaming.”
The sound of Autumn’s voice brought L.J. scrambling to his feet. Tension as thick as a November fog hovered in the room, stifling the fresh morning air. Wiping the stress from his face, he tried not to notice her shaking hands. Her timid eyes flickered shyly as she smoothed down the sides of her slightly wavy hair. L.J. wanted to tell Autumn she was beautiful and she had nothing to be self-conscious about, but he kept his thoughts to himself. Not because he was feeding her a line, but because his observation would likely make her more jumpy.
L.J. couldn’t stop staring at her. Despite the unearthly hour and her nervous movements, her skin was aglow and her lips had a natural red hue to them. Her silk, apple-colored robe molded to her hips and brought on thoughts of his hands and lips reconciling with her flesh.
He took a deep breath. He felt good. He was surprised he could feel anything but trepidation, but he did. Autumn was here. She had come to talk. This could only be good news. It was a challenge for L.J. to be in the same room with her and not go to her. He was so accustomed to touching her and kissing her and holding her, that it was painful being this far apart. But he made no move to fill the space between them. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her, but when she came from around the chair and he caught a whiff of the soap she used, L.J. unconsciously moved closer.
Autumn couldn’t help noticing the rings under his eyes and the deep stress lines marring his cheeks. He was wearing the same suit he had had on at the rehearsal dinner, but it didn’t look nearly as good as it had eight hours earlier. The once crisp off-white linen shirt was wrinkled and dirty handprints stained its collar, and the matching pants were screaming out for the smoothing touch of an iron. L.J. needed a shower, a shave and a good night’s rest, but his grisly appearance didn’t diminish her feelings for him. She loved him and always would. He had ensnared her heart with his Southern appeal, gracious charm and clever wit and she had been powerless to resist. He’d silenced her doubts with sweet words and shiver-inducing kisses. Just the thought of those thick lips blazing a trail from her lips and ending up between her legs made a tingle zip down her spine and back up again. What she wouldn’t do for one of those kisses now. Her mind came back into focus when she heard him call her name. Here it goes, she thought, bracing herself for another staggering revelation.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your pledge?”
Autumn opened her mouth to ask him how he had found out, but stopped herself. It didn’t matter. They were over and her decision to keep her pledge a secret wasn’t any of his business. “I didn’t think it mattered. Just like you didn’t think your marriage was important enough to share.”
L.J. wasn’t going to argue with her on that one, but he wasn’t prepared to let this go. “I don’t believe you, Autumn. You were planning to wait until you were—”
“I know what I was planning. Don’t remind me.” Her usually genteel voice took on a hardness when she added, “Hooking up with you was an error of judgment, but I’ll never make that mistake again.”
Ouch. It would have hurt less if she’d stomped on his foot again with her stilettos. He had never connected with someone as quickly as he had with her. The attraction had been immediate, but it was all the special things she did that had made him fall in love with her. What had transpired between them in the last six weeks had been far from a mistake. Setting out to redeem himself, he said, “I didn’t come here to argue with you. I came here to tell you the truth. But just for the record, I wouldn’t change a single solitary thing that happened between us.”
Autumn forced herself to look away. She knew all too well how easy it was to be swayed with one of his looks. Fixing her eyes on the grandfather clock behind him, she said, “You have five minutes. Then I want you to leave.”
L.J. didn’t even know where to begin. He wanted to level with her, but he didn’t think she could handle it. He decided to start at the beginning. His voice projected calm, but he was shaking right down to his toes. This was it. If he messed this up, she was gone. “I met Rachelle at the final home game of last season. We exchanged numbers, and after a few dates we started seeing each other casually. She pushed hard for us to be exclusive, but I wasn’t ready to get into anything serious. Within a couple of months she brought up the subject of us living together and soon after that she was talking marriage. I pulled back. Things were moving too fast and she wouldn’t stop badgering me about a stronger commitment. I quit calling and several weeks passed before I saw her again. So, when she popped up on my doorstep and announced that she was pregnant, I was stunned. We hadn’t been together but four months and we’d used protection every time. She knew things were over between us so I found the timing of her ‘pregnancy’ rather coincidental.”
“You didn’t believe her?”
“No, but when she took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive, I had no choice but to accept it.”
“So, you married her?”
He nodded. “Rachelle turned on the water works when I told her I didn’t think we should rush to get married. She said her parents, who were prominent ministers, would disown her when they found out she’d gotten knocked up. I felt responsible, so despite the ominous dangers ahead, we went ahead and got married.”
“Then what happened?” Autumn asked after a minute.
“She started acting funny, mysterious almost. She wouldn’t answer my questions about the baby or the pregnancy and would ‘forget’ to tell me about her doctor appointments. She was barely eating, but at three months she’d put on at least fifteen pounds. My old college roommate happens to practice in the same clinic she went to, so I had him check her file. When he asked me to come into the clinic so we could talk in private, I feared the worst. I thought she was sick or the baby was in danger or she had some pregnancy-related illness. I passed out when he showed me her file.” Recounting that afternoon almost four months ago still made the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He took a steadying breath before he continued. “It turned out Rachelle wasn’t three months pregnant. She was five. She was already—”
“She was pregnant when you met,” Autumn finished, shaking her head incred
ulously. It was hard to believe that a woman—a mother—would try to pass off her unborn child on some unsuspecting guy. Her face didn’t show any emotion, but inside she was relieved. She hadn’t broken up anyone’s home. L.J.’s marriage was over long before they had ever met. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I’m fine. I’ve moved on.” He cleared his throat and erased the malice from his voice. “My grandmother used to say there’s a good side to everything, and in this case there is. Now, I don’t have to worry about my sleep being interrupted, or changing smelly diapers.” His voice cracked at the end, but he covered his anguish with a light chuckle. “I can hang out with the guys without rushing home to check on her anymore. Life is good! I haven’t seen or spoken to Rachelle since the day she moved out.” After a brief pause, he said, “I’ve moved on. Really, I have. I don’t even think about Rachelle and…and the baby anymore.”
L.J. was lying. And not doing a very good job of it, either. He was wearing a brave face, but he wasn’t fooling her. A man would have to be made out of stone not to be devastated at the news that the child his wife was carrying wasn’t his. He spoke in a detached tone, but his eyes couldn’t conceal the hurt and the pain he was feeling inside. Autumn wanted to ask him where things stood now, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to reopen any more old wounds.
“Her deception is grounds for an annulment,” he explained. “Tuesday is the hearing and once it’s over, I can put this nightmare behind me and move on. Once she leaves Atlanta and moves back here, I won’t have to worry about bumping into her when I’m out with my friends.”
Autumn nodded slowly. Now she knew where his misplaced hatred for Washington came from. It had nothing to do with the lifestyle of the wealthy, the cutthroat society or the cynicism permeating the air. His ex was from around these parts. She had tainted his feelings about the Capital and its residents.
“I know these last few months have been an unbelievably painful time for you but why didn’t you tell me the truth? Why did you feel the need to keep this from me?”
L.J. didn’t want to hurt her again, but at the same time, he didn’t want any more lies between them, either. His voice was tender when he spoke and the pain in his eyes was lifting. “I wanted to, Autumn, but I didn’t know how. It was hard enough getting close to you without you knowing I had all this baggage. If I’d told you the truth from the beginning, you would have never given me a chance to get to know you. I had every intention of telling you about Rachelle once the annulment was finalized.”
Autumn believed him. The memory of how she had stormed at him, flailing her arms and screaming incoherently made her lower her eyes in shame. Luckily, Tyrell had stepped in and she had never landed any punches. Her face flushed with embarrassment. She had never lost control like that. But the combination of love and pain and hurt could drive the most rational, controlled person over the edge. “I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. There was no excuse for me charging at you. I was way out of line and…” The sound of slow movements in one of the bedrooms prevented her from saying more. She heard muffled voices, and knew they were no longer alone. “You should go. The girls are up and if Melissa comes out and finds you here she’ll have a hissy fit.”
“Do you love me?”
The question caught Autumn off guard. With a pounding heart and a dry throat she said, “We can’t talk about this right now.”
Their eyes locked, held, spoke, and what she saw almost brought her to her knees. Desperation, vulnerability and fear showed on his face. And the more he stared, the more she felt herself giving in to his unspoken requests.
“I know I never came out and said the words, but I love you, Autumn. I do. I tried to show you every time I held you in my arms and made you laugh and told you you were beautiful. Please don’t throw away what we have. I love you with all that I am, gorgeous. Give me a chance to show you all that’s in my heart.”
L.J. didn’t deserve a second chance and they both knew it.
Autumn’s eyes left his face. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to discuss this. But as the seconds on the clock ticked by and she gave more thought to his request, she found her true feelings. She didn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship. Two people as industrious as she and L.J. were would have a tough time making a go of a relationship period, let alone from across the miles. She had never been in a long-distance relationship, but she had seen enough of her girlfriends go through it to know it was a miserable existence. The incredibly high phone bills, lonely nights, holidays celebrated apart, the insecurity. Autumn didn’t want to let him go, but she didn’t want to end up being hurt again, either. He was a masterful secret-keeper and although she understood why he hadn’t told her about Rachelle right away, there was no excuse for why he’d waited until his back was up against the wall to tell her the truth. “Too much has happened. I hope you can understand.”
He didn’t. L.J. hadn’t stayed up all night, or come all this way, just to tell her the truth about his relationship with Rachelle. He wanted her back. They had something special and he wasn’t going to give up on them. Abandoning himself to his feelings, he bared his soul. “Couples have overcome situations far worse than this, Autumn. I know I messed up and I know it won’t be easy, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to regain your trust. I love you and I don’t want to live without you. It might take some time, but things can be how they used to be. We can fix things if we try. I know it.”
Autumn wished they could. She pushed all thoughts of them getting back together from her mind. Reconciliation just wasn’t a viable option. She spoke frankly. “L.J., how can you even ask me to take you back when you’re still legally married? You’re off limits, period. I love you, too, but right now, there is no us and I don’t know if there ever will be.”
The Delancy–Grisbey wedding would be gossiped about among Washington’s elite for weeks to come. The bride glided down a rose-covered aisle in a white, princess-cut gown, her beautiful face behind a sheer veil. The sun spilling in through the stained-glass windows cast a light around her that gave her an almost angelic glow.
The wedding ceremony lasted an hour, and demonstrations of the couple’s undying love were seen thoughout the service. They recited personalized vows, lit white unity candles and in the end the minister blessed their new union.
Autumn had promised herself she wouldn’t cry, but she did. She cried all over her gown. When Peter professed that Melissa was his gift from God and he would love her for the rest of his life and even beyond, there wasn’t a dry eye among the three hundred guests. Women were fishing in their diamond-studded purses for tissues and men coughed behind the masks of their handkerchiefs, drowning out the musician playing the grand piano.
At the reception, guests feasted on a first-rate six-course meal comprised of everything from caviar to grilled snapper to lobster tails. Laughter rang out whenever the emcee took to the stage, and when guests weren’t clutching their sides in laughter, they were snapping pictures with the digital cameras from their enormous gift baskets.
When the five-tier vanilla wedding cake had been cut, the bride and groom took to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife. When Babyface stepped up to the microphone in a silver-sequined tuxedo and belted out the tear-jerking lyrics to “Here and Now,” the elegantly dressed crowd—mainly the women—broke into mass hysterics. The couple, lost in each other’s eyes and the heat of their kiss, were oblivious to the uproar the soul singer caused, and never saw their single female relatives bum-rush the stage.
Chapter 22
By the end of June, Autumn was ready for a vacation. The sweltering days and balmy nights were beginning to take their toll and her latest client, Aldridge Frankton, was trying her patience. The man was giving her gray hairs and he seemed to take pleasure in seeing her ruffled. He was becoming such a headache, she was seriously considering handing his file over to another accountant. It was either that or tell the balding, fortyish man to pu
cker up and kiss her backside. He was the most sexist and narrow-minded human being she had ever had the misfortune of dealing with, and she was counting the days until she wouldn’t have to see his liver-spotted face again.
It was after one of these emotionally charged meetings with Mr. Frankton that Autumn found herself gazing into the clear blue sky, daydreaming about another time and place. In her mind, she was stretched out on a pristine white, sandy beach, drinking mango punch and listening to live music. She felt the sun on her face, heard the slapping waves and felt a soft breeze ticking her bikini-clad body. She was reaching for her pear-shape glass when she heard a telephone ring. Her forehead furrowed. How can a phone be ringing on a beach? she thought, flummoxed. Her eyes flew open and she glanced around her surroundings. She wasn’t on a Caribbean beach sipping anything, she was in Washington sitting at her desk.
She cleared her head before picking up the phone. “Good afternoon. Ms. Nicholson speaking.”
“Hi, dear. It’s Mom. Your father and I haven’t heard from you all week. Is everything okay?”
She nodded absently.
“Autumn?”
“Sorry, Mom. Yeah, everything is okay.”
Slumping back into her chair, she swirled it around to the window. It was ideal beach weather. The perfect day to play in the water or stroll along the shore with that special someone. I wonder what the weather is like in Atlanta, she thought as a picture of L.J. flashed in her mind. She stared into the horizon. Autumn didn’t care if there was a heat wave or a rainstorm in the ATL, all she wanted to know was what L.J. was doing and whom he was doing it with. He didn’t report back to the Hawks until the end of August and she could only hazard a guess as to how he was spending his time off.
“Are you going to come?”
