by Joss Wood
Life should be good.
So what was the problem? In a nutshell, it was this half on, half off, up-in-the-air arrangement he had with Brodie. Half friends, sometimes lovers, future parents, both of them wanting, on some level, to run. He was jogging in place but Brodie had her sneakers on and was about to sprint, as hard and as fast as she could.
As soon as she could.
Kade felt he was living the same life he’d lived with his father, not sure how the next move would affect him. Every day was new territory for him and he felt as unsettled as he had when he was a child.
Quinn’s fist smacking into Kade’s biceps rocked him back to the here and now. “What the hell was that for?”
“I talk to both you and Mac but neither of you listen! It’s like talking to a blow-up doll.”
“You should know,” Kade grumbled, rubbing his arm.
Quinn’s fist shot out again but Kade stepped back and the fist plowed through air. Kade sent Quinn a mocking glance. “Too slow, bro.”
Quinn picked up his beer bottle, sipped and after lowering it he spoke again. “You concentrating, dude?”
“Yeah.” Kade leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his legs. “Speak.”
“Your dad is having an exhibition in a couple of weeks, downtown.”
So? His father was a well-respected artist and frequently held exhibitions in the city. James didn’t invite him to any and Kade didn’t attend. It worked for both of them. “Not interested.”
“The exhibition is called ‘Retrospective Regrets.’”
Kade didn’t give a crap. His father wasn’t part of his life, hadn’t been part of his life for a long, long time. And he liked it that way.
“I just thought you might like to tell him he’s going to be a grandfather.”
He hadn’t wanted a son so Kade doubted he’d be interested in a grandchild. But maybe he should give James the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he’d changed. Kade cursed at the hope that flickered.
“I’ll think about it.”
Quinn knew better than to push. He just shrugged and lifted his beer bottle in Brodie’s direction. “What are you going to do about her? Are you going to marry her, live with her, demand joint custody?”
Kade wished he knew. “I definitely want joint custody, everything else is up in the air.” He rested his beer bottle against his forehead and sighed. “It’s all craziness.”
“Well, I suggest you figure out what you are before the news of your impending fatherhood hits the papers. If you don’t know they’ll decide for you.”
Because the media’s focus had been on his dates and the future of the team, so far he and Brodie had managed to dodge that bullet, but Kade wasn’t under any illusions they’d keep the baby a secret indefinitely.
Quinn grinned. “On the plus side, my BASE jumping and having to talk myself out of being arrested aren’t quite so bad when you measure them against the fact that another Maverick-teer is going to become a father, barely a month after Mac.”
Kade would cross that burning bridge when he came to it. And talking about daredevil stunts... “Talking of, are you insane? You could’ve been killed!”
“Only if my chute didn’t open,” Quinn cheerfully agreed. “Then I would’ve made a dent in the concrete. Splat!”
Kade sent Brodie an anxious look, grateful she hadn’t heard Quinn’s cavalier attitude toward death. “Not funny, Rayne.” Kade stopped, whirled around and slapped his hand on Quinn’s hard chest. He scowled at his best friend. “Brodie lost everyone she loved in one accident. Don’t you dare be glib about death, yours or anyone else’s, around her! Got it?”
Quinn rubbed the spot on his chest. “Jeez, okay! Got it.”
Kade walked away and Quinn scowled at the ceiling.
“I’m running out of friends to play with,” he muttered.
* * *
Later in the week, after a night long on pleasure and short on sleep, Brodie stood at the center island in Kade’s kitchen, and scowled at her daily calendar on her tablet screen. Her schedule was utterly insane and she would be rushing from one appointment to another, all with men looking for a happily-ever-after. Didn’t they realize the closer and the more perfect the relationship, the more pain they could expect to feel if the relationship went south? The end always hurt the most when the connection felt the best. Argh...she normally never thought about how her clients progressed after she matched them. Damn this situation with Kade for making her so introspective!
Kade, on his way up from the gym, walked past her to the sink and filled a glass with water. He whistled when he caught a glimpse of her schedule. “And I thought I had a hectic day ahead.”
“Crazy, isn’t it?” Brodie sipped her coffee and scowled at the screen. “I won’t take all these men on as clients, some I’ll be able to help and some I’ll discard because, well, they’ll be idiots.”
Kade rested the glass on his folded arm. “Why matchmaking, Brodie? Why earn your living from something you don’t believe in?”
Why would he think that? “But I do believe in it. I do believe people function best when they are in healthy, stable, supportive relationships. Being alone sucks.”
“But you avoid relationships. You are alone,” Kade pointed out.
“Yeah, but that’s the choice I’ve made.” Brodie picked up a banana from the fruit bowl and slowly peeled it. “I know it’s ironic that I, commitment-phobic as I am, own a matchmaking service.”
Kade put his hands behind him and gripped the counter. “Okay, so why do you?”
Brodie looked across the loft to the rainy day outside. She took a bite of the banana, chewed it slowly and then placed it on the side plate next to her half-eaten toast. Should she tell Kade? Was she brave enough to open up a little more? She rarely—okay, never—spoke about Jay. She had trained herself not to think about him. But Kade was the father of her baby and she almost trusted him. Well, as much as she could.
“In the car crash, I didn’t only lose my parents, I lost my best friends, as well. Chelsea and Jay. We were all in the car. I survived, and they didn’t. We were like you and Mac and Quinn—inseparable.” Brodie swiped her finger across the program to close her calendar. “Jay and I always knew that, one day, we’d move on from being best friends. Three weeks before the crash, we finally admitted we loved each other. We started sleeping together, everything was new and bright and wonderful.” Her voice cracked and Brodie cleared her throat.
Kade took a step forward but Brodie held up her hand to stop him. If he touched her she would start to cry and she had clients to see. “I lost my world in the space of three minutes. But I was so loved, Kade. So damn much.”
“And you don’t want that again?”
“I can’t lose that again. I’ll have this child and that’ll be enough. This child arrived by sheer fluke and I’ve accepted that the baby is life’s way of forcing me to love again. To love in a different way.”
“And will that be enough?”
Brodie lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug. “It has to be. It’s all I’m prepared to risk.” Her smile felt a little shaky. “I am going to be the best mother I can be. I am going to be your friend, your lover, for as long as that works or until you meet the woman you can’t live without.” Brodie rubbed her hands across her eyes. “I hope you find her, Kade. I’d like you to. I think you deserve her.”
“And I think you deserve the same.”
“I wouldn’t be that lucky, not twice. Life doesn’t work that way.” Brodie pushed her tablet into its case and sighed. “I have to go. Busy day.”
“It’s barely seven, Brodie, and I need to talk to you about something else.”
Brodie frowned at his tone. Being bossed around so early in the morning really didn’t work for her. “Okay, what?”
“So
gracious.” Kade walked across the kitchen to take a mug from a shelf. He jammed it under the spout of his coffee machine and pushed a button. Brodie tapped her fingers against the counter, listening to the sounds of the beans grinding. She was feeling exposed and hot, like her skin was a size too small for her body. That’s why she didn’t usually talk, she reminded herself. It made her feel sad and funny and...weird.
“I’m going to need to tell the press something about us and soon.”
“Why?”
Kade looked at her over the rim of his mug. “We spend a lot of time together and someone is going to realize that. And when you start showing, they’ll go into overdrive. Wren suggests we hit them with a press release and cut off the speculation. So what do you want to be called? My girlfriend, my partner, my common-law wife?”
Brodie grimaced as he said the word wife and Kade scratched his head. “Okay, so not wife. What?”
This was far too much to deal with so early in the morning. “I don’t like titles. I don’t believe in them. We are what we are...”
“I’ll just tell the press that. It’ll work,” Kade said, sounding sarcastic.
“I don’t know, Kade!” Brodie cried. “Tell them we are friends, that we intend to remain friends, that we are having a baby together! That’s all the information they are entitled to. That’s all the information we have.”
“They’ll make it up if we don’t give them more. Or they’ll dig and dig until they find more,” Kade warned.
She couldn’t control their actions, Brodie thought. She could only control her own. And right now she had to get to work or else she’d be late for her breakfast appointment. Besides, she really didn’t want to talk about this anymore. With Kade or the world. “I’m not ready to say anything yet. And I’ve got to go.”
“Dammit, Brodie! We have to deal with this at some point.”
Yeah, but not now.
“Think about it,” Kade told her, obviously frustrated. “Are you coming back here tonight?”
Brodie slung her bag over her shoulder and walked toward the front door feeling hemmed in. “Maybe.”
That one word was, right now, all she could commit to.
* * *
Brodie looked up when Colin tapped on the frame of her door and ambled into her office.
“Hey, Col.” Brodie rested her forearms on her desk and sent him a fond smile.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m well. The morning sickness has passed, as has the tiredness.” Brodie bit her bottom lip. “Did you tell Kayla?”
A shadow passed through Colin’s eyes as he nodded. Colin and Kayla had been trying to get pregnant for more than five years and were now trying IVF. Hearing Brodie had become pregnant via a one-night stand had probably rocked Kayla.
“She took it rather well, considering. She said to tell you she wants to meet the baby’s daddy.”
Yeah, about that. Brodie still hadn’t told Colin, or anyone else, about Kade.
“Maybe,” Brodie hedged.
Colin sighed. “You’re going to keep us guessing, aren’t you?”
Brodie rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. “It’s complicated. We’re trying to work through it and until we have a plan, I’d rather just keep his identity quiet.” She wrinkled her nose. “I might end up parenting on my own and he won’t be a factor.”
Not that there was a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening. This was, after all, Kade she was talking about.
“Understood,” Colin said, before straightening. “So, business...”
Business talk she could do. Mostly because it stopped her thinking about Kade and their future. Business wasn’t complicated or demanding and it didn’t mess with her head. Or her libido. “What’s up?”
“I don’t know about you but I am overwhelmed. My schedule is crazy.”
Brodie looked at her screen and the thirty unopened emails from prospective clients. Ironically, the publicity generated from being Kade’s matchmaker had generated almost too much business. “It’s crazy.”
“I was approached by a couple out of Los Angeles who want to relocate to Vancouver. They have a matchmaking business in the city.” Colin passed her a black-and-pink business card.
“I know the Hendersons,” Brodie said, flicking her nail against the card. “I investigated their business model when I was starting this business. They are reputable, smart and sensitive.”
“Well, they have just sold their business and they are moving here.”
Brodie immediately connected the dots. “Are they going to start up here?”
“They want to semi-retire. They want to work but they don’t want the responsibility of running an office or staff.”
“Are you thinking about bringing them on board...with you?”
Colin picked up her pen and tapped it against his knee, leaving tiny blue dots on his khaki pants. “And with you, if you are as overwhelmed as I am. It’s a win-win situation. We feed them clients, take a commission and we manage how big a bite they take.”
Brodie looked at the pile of folders on her desk and realized it might be the answer to her crazy workload. And she’d find it easier to juggle her career and being a new mother if she had some help. “Are they keen?”
“They are keen to talk,” Colin replied. “They’ll fly out here if we ask them to.”
Her phone chirped and Brodie looked down at the screen.
Will be home late. Will you be okay?
God, she’d been okay for the past three months and for nine years before that. She’d managed to feed herself, dress herself, get herself to work, establish a career. Why did Kade and Poppy think she had dropped sixty IQ points just because she was now pregnant?
Arrrgh.
Brodie ignored Kade’s message, pushed back her chair and stood up. She gripped the back of the chair.
“Or we could go to them.” God, a trip out of the city would be an unexpected blessing, Brodie thought. She could get some distance from Kade, have some time alone to think.
You just don’t want to deal with the emotions Kade pulls to the surface.
I just want some time to think! Is that too much to ask?
You’ve got to stop lying to yourself...
Oh, shut up.
Brodie looked at Colin. “What do you think? You up for a trip?”
“Sure. Are you allowed to fly?”
Brodie tamped down her irritation. “I am only a few months pregnant. The baby is the size of pea so yes, I can fly. Jeez!”
Her phone beeped again. I can cancel dinner if you want me to.
Kade! Really? She tipped her head at Colin and sent him an I-dare-you look. “Let’s fly out tonight, see the Hendersons in the morning? I might stay in Cali for the weekend, do some sightseeing, some shopping.”
Colin jumped to his feet, nodding enthusiastically. He was always up for an adventure and was, thank goodness, impulsive. “That sounds like an excellent idea. I’ll call the Hendersons. Can you book flights?”
She could and she would, she thought, glancing down at the screen of her phone. Because she definitely needed to put a border and a couple of cities between her and Kade Webb.
Ten
Kade couldn’t remember when he’d been this angry. Angry, disappointed...hurt, dammit. And the fact he was hurt pissed him off even more.
Gone away. Will be back in a few days.
A few days had turned into a week and he still didn’t know where the hell Brodie was and, crucially, whether she was all right. She was ducking his calls and not returning his increasingly irate text messages. His...whatever the hell she was...was AWOL and he was not amused. Not amused as in ready to slam his fist into the wall. He’d do it but he recalled, from previous experience, it hurt like a bitch.
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Kade stood on the balcony off his master suite and gripped the edge of the balustrade, peering past the trees to the street below, hoping to see Brodie’s car. He wanted to make sure she was okay, to make love to her, to put her over his knee and spank her silly for driving him out of his mind with worry.
What if she never came back? What if she’d just packed up and left town, heading for...wherever? What would he do? How would he find her? Would he make the effort to track her down?
Of course he would. Apart from the fact she drove him insane, she was the mother of his child. For that reason alone he’d follow her to the ends of the earth...
Jesus, Brodie, where the hell are you?
Kade heard the subdued chime signaling someone had accessed his private elevator and since Quinn was out of town and Mac was home with Rory, it had to be Brodie. Thank God. She was the only other person who had the code.
Kade waited for the elevator doors to open and his heart both stumbled and settled when she stepped into his loft. He did a quick scan, confirmed she was physically in one piece and told himself not to lose his temper.
Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.
* * *
Brodie only needed one look to see Kade was pissed and exceptionally so. His eyes were the color of bittersweet chocolate and flat with anger and residual worry. She’d needed time away but she’d been wrong to avoid his calls, to avoid talking to him.
She’d done him a disservice; Kade was a fully functioning adult and he would’ve understood her need for some time alone to think. But she’d been unable to pick up the phone and tell him that—due to embarrassment and pride. Instead she’d let him worry and, judging by the increasingly irate messages he’d left her, stew. She deserved the verbal slap she was about to get and she braced herself to take it.
